HOUSE OF MOUSE
(and no, I'm not recapping Disney Channel cartoons ... Spongebob maybe, but not Playhouse Disney)
Thought I'd relate my life this week so far. I have not been able to sleep or eat in days because a little after 10:00 pm Sunday night, as I was doing email and generally, ya know, nothing, (oh, alright, I was Googling my Croatian boyfriend, Goran Visnjic, okay? Happy?!?) . I kept hearing this rustling noise. Couldn't find the source, and was thinking maybe it was Jake's (my deceased dog) ghost (who I know is living in my house - don't laugh, I've heard him. Though usually it's more of a nails clicking on tile sound. And I've smelled him, too. Just in case you didn't already get the point that I am indeed, crazy). Noise stopped. Little while later, heard it again, looked over and there on top of two wicker trunks I have stacked in my living room (do you have any idea how many O and InStyle magazines those things hold? Answer: a lot), was a big grey mouse running back and forth, well, actually hopping (nice ... hopping). I screamed for hubby (and I do mean screamed - scared the absolute beJebus out of him, although, and probably only mothers can do this, it was done in such a way as to not wake the children. Don't ask me to explain, ask your mom, she knows). Mr. Mouse jumped down behind the trunks, so of course hubby didn't see him. As I am hyperventilating and hubby is giving me the what-the-hell-do-you-expect-me-to-do-about-it look that married couples know so well, I see MM run around the corner. Needless to say, I hightailed it upstairs (because mice can climb wicker trunks but can't possibly climb steps) and could not sleep and was literally shaking for the rest of the night. (Sidebar: I have an extreme phobia of rodents - aside from the fact that when I was in college I worked on the Ocean City, NJ boardwalk in a place that had rats that liked to climb out of the ceiling and down the walls (don't worry - it's not there anymore) and one practically sat on my foot as I was making a funnel cake (would you eat funnel cake from a place that had rats? No, I didn't think so - those people must have been from out of state ... of mind); when I was in high school just sitting there doing my work in science class (yeah, even I can't keep a straight face saying that), two so-called "friends" took a few lab mice and put them on me. Feeling critters crawling on you and then having them cling to your sweater as you are desperately trying to fling them off really isn't conducive to acting nonchalant around rodents in later life. End Sidebar) Anyway, we've been having an ongoing problem with little Mickeys getting into our house (although this is the first time I've seen one up close and personal) since a couple of years ago when our next door neighbor took his sweet ol' time building his deck and left a huge woodpile in the backyard. When said woodpile was gone, yon critters took up residence underneath our back porch, apparently, or so I think. Tried to contact exterminators to come yesterday, when I was home for the big conversion from DSL and phone service to cable modem and digital voice (huzzah!), but of course those who said they would call me back Monday afternoon never did, after telling me it was unusual that Mr. Mouse would make that grand an appearance with lights on and someone sitting there. Thanks, just what I needed to hear - even my vermin are psycho. My husband bought supplies to get Mr. Mouse and laid the stuff out Monday night. Yesterday morning, after reminding him that he needed to check downstairs before everyone got up because a) as is most assuredly obvious by this point, I sure as hell wasn't going to do it, and b) if there was a capture, my kids sure as hell didn't need to see it. Long story longer, glue trap with peanut butter (yeah, even choosy pests choose Jif) - Mr. Mouse - buh bye. Hoping that's the end of it as hubby thinks, but I am so skeeved out by the whole experience that I not only have trouble sleeping, but the eating thing is getting really bad. Upside, seem to have lost a couple of pounds in the past few days. Downside, my already rampant neuroses are doing the macarena in my head. Moral of the story: If your house has a mouse problem, MOVE.