Thursday, February 16, 2006

ER 12.14 Alternate Scene - The Cell Phone

There has been a lot of speculation as to why Abby didn’t just use the hospital phone that Luka held out to her. Was it that she didn’t want to have to go through the Operator? Could it be that she used it because it was easier because she had put Coburn’s practice number on speed dial? Or is it just that Abby’s a bitch and has to be defiant and show Luka who’s boss? The real reason Abby used the speed dial on the cell phone … here’s what was actually going on:

We join our scene, already in progress …

Abby reaches into her pocket and pulls out her red cell phone, shows it to Luka, opens it, then presses a speed dial number.

Abby: Hi, this is Abby Lockhart. I think you have my amnio results.

Accented Voice (on phone): We’ve been expecting your call. I’ll get him for you.

Abby (to Luka): They’re checking.

Luka takes her left hand in his, and puts his right one on her wrist as he continues to watch her. In the background we hear soft string music, underlying the tension. She’s not looking at him, but lets him hold her hand. He backs into the room, pulling her along with him, and sits down on the bed, not letting go of her hand. As she waits for someone to come to the phone, Abby, looks really scared and starts tapping her pinky against the phone.

Carter (on phone): Abby?

Abby: Hi.

Carter: So glad it’s you. I was afraid that unfeeling bitch Kem found out our code. She just doesn’t get it and won’t stop calling. You can believe me, that loveless relationship is completely over.

Abby (looking relieved) : That's great.

Carter: I'm about to embark on yet another life-changing, coming of age experience right now, but I'll be back in Chicago in time to deliver the baby for May sweeps.

Abby: That's great.

Carter: As long as you can keep that dope Luka still thinking the kid is his until then, everyone will be totally shocked because no one except our most diehard fans who have never given up the ship on us will have seen the clues. Trust me, we're golden.

Abby: That's great.

Carter: So make sure you are really playing it up. If he's there right now, sit in his lap or something so he doesn't catch on. Maybe even let him kiss you if you have to. I know it's a hardship and you find him repulsive, but just keep remembering that we'll be together soon.

Abby: That's great.

Carter: And to help with the charade when you are with him, just think of all of our passionate encounters and you'll be able to pull it off.

Abby: Thank you.

24 Comments:

At 7:10 PM, February 16, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And I thought I was the only one! TPTB couldn't have made it any plainer that it was Carter. The tension music in the background (always playing when Carter is near), the fact that someone, somewhere in the world at that very moment was buying dried flowers (thats totally a Carby thing) and most importantly, Abby's phone was red. Carter has worn red suspenders in the past..Coincidence? I don't think so! *eyes boggle*

 
At 8:03 PM, February 16, 2006, Blogger janet said...

Dear Ms. C. Recaps,

I am such an incredibly negligent correspondent as many will tell you; I’ve been meaning to write to you for the longest time, all fall and winter in fact, but have just managed to finally find a stamp. I guess I’ve just been too busy and too happy to stay in touch. I’ve been a fan of yours since about 12.4 or 12.5 when someone somewhere on some board pointed me this way, and have so thoroughly enjoyed your recaps that I can’t imagine life without them (Did I warn you I am subject to hyperbole? As well as prone to shouting things on hospital rooftops or in the rain?). I might just have to put you on my speed dial! However, I must confess that as much as I love Abby, due to your influence whenever I see her on the screen on the receiving end of a particularly luscious Luka moment, I find myself waiting a beat before muttering, “bitch.” Although like you, I am still quizzically waiting for any sort of sign at all from the powers that be that those two crazy kids feel anything for each other. Luka belongs to me!

Sincerely,
Gaffa Girl – currently channeling John Carter, M.D.

 
At 10:24 PM, February 16, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Absolutely hilarious! Ofcourse I don't buy into this but it is very entertaining. Here I am on a Thursday night trying to get my weekly ER fix i.e. Luka watch, and I can't believe you took the time to repost this angle. Great work as always. BTW didn't you think Neela looked very sort of grown up with her hair and makeup last week?

 
At 10:33 PM, February 16, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was brilliant.

 
At 11:41 PM, February 16, 2006, Blogger Bel Vezer said...

LMFAO!
You're spoiling us! Truly. That was brilliant. Hysterical! I loved it! Perfect timing too since we won't be getting more ER for another two weeks.

 
At 3:34 AM, February 17, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL!!! That was hillarious!!

 
At 6:53 AM, February 17, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seriously funny. I knew there was something odd about that call.

I do so hope Abby takes Carter's advice about how to appear passionate whilst locked in the disgusting embrace of the Repulsive Croat, because heaven knows, passion, as demonstrated by Abby and Carter in the steamy "Afternoon Delight" scene, where their desire was so combustible that it had to be damped down under tightly tucked in sheets, has been sadly lacking between these two; it's obvious to anyone with eyes to see that it's just loneliness making her "settle" for Luka and I think the writers are likey making some of us uneasy about these two on purpose.

And at the end of the day, Carter understood about the dried flowers when Abby, erm, told him.

 
At 5:20 PM, February 17, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you're such a creative person! I can't stop laughting!!! :D
I love Abby and Maura, but I couldn't imagine such a funny scene... thx
Pri

 
At 2:10 AM, February 18, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Really, that was one of the funniest things I have ever read! Im so with you here. Carter looked a little sad in that last hellicopter scene. I bet he was longing for Abby, you know, that doctor he said all of two words to last season.
Are you gloating right now? I hope you are!

 
At 8:28 AM, February 18, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

TOO funny!!!! I never would have thought of this angle because whenever Luka is around... ahem....I can't tear my eyes off him. Gee...I thought Abby was feleing the same way. Thank you SO much for your creative innovations. They just make my day. : )

 
At 11:45 AM, February 18, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bwah! Fantastic stuff right there! Those Carbies are so deluded and in so much denial, they'd believe in your alternate scene or something like it. Ahhh, thanks for the laugh!

And I love your blog! It's such a great alternative since TWoP doesn't recap ER anymore. Thanks for all the work you do :)

 
At 2:47 AM, February 19, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cruel, funny, accurate satire -

That's great.

Wild Corgi

 
At 10:58 AM, February 19, 2006, Blogger Manic Witch said...

Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! Now if only TPTB would get on the same page as you, this slo-mo train wreck wouldn't be so painful to endure.

 
At 2:45 PM, February 19, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hilarous!
can't stop giggling ... will come back when am down!

 
At 6:28 PM, February 19, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my the carbies (I mean carby because I'm pretty sure there is only one left in the whole world) will love this!!!! You forgot to mention that she was holding the phone in her right hand and that was a direct link to Carter since he is right-handed!! On the reminders are EVERYWHERE!!!

 
At 12:12 PM, February 21, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

LMAO. It's Finals Week and I should be studying, but this is just so much more entertaining. And how on earth did I not pick up on those Carby hints before? Abby was using a cell phone, Carter owns a cell phone...*smacks forehead* I guess I was just too distracted by the smile on Luka's face...

 
At 7:47 PM, February 21, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello, my name is Viviana, from PERU, and as I told you before I cant wait for your comments and this particular one was hilarious, I used to be a Carby, cause I liked Abby with Carter, but since he left and broke up with her in a coward way, I dont like him anymore. As for your idea of Carter being in the other side of the line, was really funny. As you have a lot of imagination, could you write in your particular and excellent way about Carter finding out about Abbys pregnancy (I want him to suffer a shock, like Abby in a bitchy mood tells Carter the good news).

 
At 10:16 PM, February 23, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is hilarious! Please tell me there really aren't people out there who could possibly believe this scenario is true. Or are they just off their meds? shakes head in wonder

 
At 11:25 AM, March 06, 2006, Anonymous zelda said...

hi Mrs Crankyrecaps: i have wanted to email you for ages but i'm french and my english is quite limited and i didn't dare...i just want to tell you you're absolutely hilarious and i'm having a blast about EACH episode.I just LOVE your humour!we haven't got season12 yet(not before september) but i've printed all your recaps and they really crack me up.I loved brooding Luka in the past seasons but smiling Luka, shirtless Luka make my day! (Abby is a lucky bitch...)Please wwrite a recap of Darfur ASAP,even if it is,I've read, a zzzzzzzzzzzzzz episode.Thanks so much

 
At 3:02 PM, March 07, 2006, Anonymous Faith said...

omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LMAO it was so funny!

 
At 11:55 PM, March 10, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

omg, I'm starting to enjoy your recaps just as much as watching the show, if not more, honestly. Thank you for providing us with the entertainment and for your hard work. Very funny and creative, god bless

 
At 1:46 AM, March 12, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ha ha ha ha!!!! I'm glad I'm not the only one who just knew that Carby would never die! LMAO! I needed a good laugh. That was great.

 
At 12:14 PM, March 17, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know what you do for a living, but if there is a Goddess, you will become a t.v. comedy writer--and soon! What a brilliant send-up of the whole "cult-ship" phenomenon.

 
At 12:58 PM, May 08, 2006, Anonymous Madelien said...

Brilliant. That's all I have to say! =D

 

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