ER 12.16 Out On A Limb

Previously on ER: Abby and Luka walk up the Admit Desk where there is a big basket of baby stuff with a yellow bow and she asks “Hey, what’s this?” to which the ever politically correct Frank responds “Ah, that’s for you and the little bastard”, and Abby replies “Thanks, Frank”; Neela is examining Weaver and bending her leg like Beckham, causing Weaver to cry out in pain; Weaver tells Luka she’ll need a total hip replacement, he says “Not necessarily”; Darnell tells Pratt that he has to help him and that he’s been trying damn hard for himself and for KJ; Luka asks a young accident victim what his name is and the kid says “Jose Rodriguez”; Pratt confronts Darnell, yelling “Did your drunk ass hit that kid?”; Pratt explains to Neela how the cops brought in a friend of his a while ago for a blood alcohol level and that he drew his own blood and switched the tubes, and that he made Darnell turn himself in; Neela admonishes him that he got his friend to own up to what he did, and for him to take his own advice.

Weaver is walking towards the hospital as Luka comes down the El steps behind her. Luka is looking mighty fine with his sunglasses, grey scarf and black peacoat. Yum. He calls to her and asks what she’s doing there. She sarcastically responds, “Good morning to you, too, Luka”. Hee. Any episode that starts off with snarky Weaver is going to be okay. She thought she’d come in and lend a hand. Luka questions “On your day off?” She explains that Neela is still doing her surgical elective, and Clemente, aka John Leguizamo, aka Chi-Chi Rodriguez from To Wong Foo, is on still on medical leave. Luka claims that as Department Chief, he felt Chi-Chi’s circumstances warranted it. And I agree with you there, Luka, though Chi-Chi’s circumstances also warrant the use of a little Lysol to get rid of the singular sleazy stench of skank. Weaver says that she supported his decision but in the meantime … as Luka, taking off the sunglasses so that we can see his exquisite eyes, chimes in that it will be fine. He tells Weaver to go home and spend the day with Henry. Weaver explains that Henry is spending the day with Sandy’s mom at the science museum. Really? Isn’t Henry like two? No way I’d take my two year old to the science museum, unless I wanted to become the proud owner of some broken Bunsen burners. Luka tells her that if they get busy he’ll call her. She says that she’s there now, and walks past him, as Luka looks away with a little “why do I bother?” grin.

Abby and Chuny are at Admit. Chuny’s writing on one of those really cool small tablet PC things that my boss has and I totally covet. Abby says disbelievingly “You are making this up … toilet training at six months?” Oh, yeah, I’d so believe that too, seeing as my two year old thinks his potty chair is the latest in headwear fashion. Morris walks by handing out charts and I at first excitedly think he says “Luka bar” which is definitely my kind of candy, but instead he says “Huka bar asthma attack” as Chuny tells Abby that she saved the article and she’ll bring it in for her. Where did Chuny find such an article? Must have been The Weekly World News. Behind them, Morris is handing Ray a chart saying “Parking meter versus fist” which is just ridiculous, because everyone knows you are supposed to kick, not punch them. Abby tells Chuny that it “Sounds like the direct route from the crib to the shrink’s couch”, which considering your family’s history, is a given anyway, Abby. Morris hands Ray one more chart telling him that in Curtain One there is a “severe case of over-golding”, and I get a funny image of Mike Meyers in “Austin Powers: Goldmember”. Ray’s all “what?” as Morris tells him to prepare to be amazed. Ray walks away. I now get a really good look at Morris and see that he must have paid a visit to Carter’s barber because he’s sporting a Carter-esque Cruddy Crop Top. You already have enough strikes against you, Morris, without having to do that to your head. Couldn’t you have just asked Luka and Abby and their Mobile Hair Salon for a new ‘do instead of replicating the Schlocky Shorn Skull of Semi-Samaritans? Frank hands Morris a fax from the blood bank and Morris makes an announcement to the staff that there is a statewide blood shortage. He tells them not to give “extra servings if they can help it”. Do they really give out extras? Or do you have to ask for it? Yes, Nurse, I’m feeling a little adventurous today, could I try some AB negative? Moron. Morris then goes on to tell them that there will be an employee blood drive in the cafeteria at 8:00 p.m.

Abby asks Morris “Got anything for me, Chief?” It looks like Maura Tierney has finally strapped on the baby belly. Since Abby’s about 21 weeks along at this point, I guess it’s about time. And she’s wearing a fuchsia maternity top which is a nice color for her. And her hair isn’t too bad today, so apparently all that time she and Luka are spending in the Hair Salon playing Hairdresser and Shampoo Boy is starting to pay off. Speaking of hair, I miss Susan … and Sherry Stringfield … and her hair. Morris hands Abby a chart for a patient with anal warts and she says “Every girl’s dream”. Hee. He also hands her a chart for raw oyster anaphylaxis. Chuny wants to know how anyone can eat those things and walking away, Abby adds that they’re supposed to be an aphrodisiac. So, is that what they were serving at Neela’s and Gallant’s (aka The Planks’) wedding reception, Abby? That would explain why when Luka gave you a ride home, you were so willing to overlook his craptastic CD choice and climb into his lap. Though I can’t say as I blame you, I wouldn’t have needed an excuse to climb into his lap either. Bitch. Morris tells them to trust him, they work. Oh, please don’t go there, Morris. I just ate.

Doctor in blue scrubs bursts through a door giving orders to a nurse saying that they’ll start with the lumbar disc, followed by the rotator cuff and the ACL, as we see Weaver get off the elevator behind him. Doc Blue tells her she’s a little early, and that her surgery is not till the afternoon. Weaver says that she’s sorry, but she has to cancel, because the ER is getting slammed and they begged her to come in. Oh, Kerry, lying does not become you, though the Luka Blue II turtleneck you are wearing does. And your hair is looking pretty good also – nice shade of red and pulled back into a ponytail. Doc Blue calls her on the excuse saying “And the dog ate your homework and the check’s in the mail”, and that he’s heard it before. Weaver tries to explain that she knows that she’s cancelled … as he interrupts “twice”. She tells him that it’s just not a good time. He then berates her that she can’t keep doing this and that she of all people should realize the havoc she’s causing his schedule and that she needs this operation. Inclining her head to an empty room, Weaver quietly asks “Dr. Kline, can we talk in here?” They go into the exam room that has all sorts of artificial limbs hanging about. Doc Blue tells her she has “end-stage arthrosis, advanced degeneration with a piece of cartilage that’s just flapping in the breeze”. Weaver assures him that she will take care of it soon. He sympathetically says that he understands that the prospect of surgery can be scary for doctors. Weaver scoffs and says that it’s not that, but it’s just that … He asks “It’s just what, Kerry. You’re in pain.” Weaver apologizes for the schedule, but the ER comes first. Doc Blue tells her fine, but he doesn’t get it because if he were her he’d be dying to throw the crutch away once and for all. Camera focuses on Weaver’s pensive profile as we crash into Opening Credits.

After commercial, Ray is treating Mr. T in the Curtain Area. He’s not actually Mr. T, just a reasonable facsimile of, what with all the jewelry he’s got adorning his neck. But he doesn’t have the Mohawk, or any hair at all, for that matter. Mr. T. says that all he’s saying is “you got to accessorize”. Hee. So now Mr. T is Joan Rivers. Would love to see him on the red carpet talking jeweled cell phone bags with Salma Hayek. Ray says that he can see that, but that his rings and bracelets are cutting off his circulation. Shouldn’t you have noticed that before, Mr. T? Idiot. Mr. T asks if that’s why his neck hurts. Ray goes around behind him to take a look at his neck. He starts to pick up some of the chains and says “Your chains have eroded into your skin” as we see the ugly-ass sores across Mr. T’s neck. Yikes. Reminds me of an episode from Nip/Tuck where they had to surgically remove this gigantic lady from the couch her skin fused to because she hadn’t gotten up off it in years. Yuck. Ray tells him that it looks infected. No, really, Ray? Mr. T asks if Ray’s going to give him some medicine. Ray says that the infection can’t get better unless he removes the jewelry. Oh, Ray, I pity the fool who tries to come between Mr. T and his jewelry. Mr. T says that he never takes it off, and he eats, sleeps and bathes with it on. Well, Mr. T always said he believes in the Golden Rule – the man with all the gold, rules. Ray asks if it ever gets in the way of say … airport security? Mr. T says that he doesn’t fly. Ray finally asks what inquiring minds want to know “Well, when you’re having, um … when you’re …”, Mr. T interjects that the ladies “love the bling”. Well, that may be true, Mr. T, but usually when we are wearing it, not some overweight, middle-aged, bald guy. And some of those chains look really heavy. Don’t think I’d appreciate getting clunked in the head with one while doing the nasty. Mr. T gives his best dirty laugh and Ray patronizingly says, “I hear you, man”.

Weaver and Abby are in the drug lock-up. Weaver opens the refrigerator, rolls her eyes, and asks “All right, who left a kielbasa in the drug fridge?” She pulls it out and holds it up, saying that it’s a clear JCAHCO violation, which is the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations. Thanks, Google. Weaver asks kind of rhetorically since it’s only Abby there, “Who doesn’t know that?” Abby guesses that it’s Frank’s because it has his name on it. Hee. Weaver says to tell him to keep his sausage to himself. Hee. I’m with you on that, Weaver, because the only one in the ER whose sausage I’d want to see is Luka. Weaver walks past Abby, who looks like she’s mentally debating. She reaches into her pocket and pulls something out. She sort of shyly asks Weaver if she wants to see something. Weaver asks “what?” and Abby hands it to her as they start to walk out. Weaver gasps and says “Ooooh” as Abby happily tells her that it’s a 3-D sonogram and she just got it. She and Weaver smile at each other. Playing with her hair, Abby says “So that’s his … or her, I guess, first baby picture”. It’s really cute how excited Abby seems. Still looking at the picture, Weaver says “wow” as she inadvertently walks into what looks like an oxygen tank behind a cart in the hallway, and grimaces in pain. Abby asks her if she’s okay, though she’s really not. She’s wincing and looks like her hip is really hurting. Weaver keeps walking and asks Abby “so you didn’t find out what the sex is?” Abby says that Luka wanted to, but that she guesses she’s old fashioned. Good for you, Abby. I think it’s more fun to be surprised. Weaver agrees with me and tells her that there aren’t too many true surprises left in life. Abby says that it doesn’t matter, as long as it’s healthy, right? Saying that out loud on a show known for all kinds of grave things befalling babies is probably not a good idea, Abby. Weaver asks Abby how she’s feeling and she says “Very good. Very energetic, actually”. Weaver says that’s the way Sandy was and she loved the second trimester because the nausea was gone and she could eat whatever she wanted to, and I am so with that. Laura Innes is really good at capturing with her tone and facial expression how bittersweet talking about Sandy must be. Chuny calls out to Weaver that auto versus peds, multiples a minute out and Ray and Morris are already outside. Weaver turns and walks away, saying that she’ll be right there. Abby asks “Hey, are you sure, you want me to get you something …” and Weaver says no, she’s fine, and tells Abby to make sure she gets that framed. Weaver rounds the corner and leans against the wall, holding her hip, breathing hard and trying not to cry, obviously not fine and in a lot of pain.

Neela walks into the Ambulance Bay carrying a large Tupperware container. Morris and Ray come out and Morris tells her it’s perfect timing because they may need a consult. Then he comments “Wow, that’s a big lunch”. Shut up, Morris! Not even Jerry would eat a lunch that big, let alone a 5’1” women. Asshole. Neela explains that they are cookies and that she has an “Army Spouses” meeting tonight. So Neela’s embracing the Military Wife lifestyle? I’m a bit surprised, considering she’s none to pleased that Plank re-enlisted. She tells them that she’d rather be at home watching World Poker Tour. Hee. I’m more into watching the majority of stars make fools of themselves by pretending they know how to play on Celebrity Poker Showdown myself; though both Mekhi Pfifer and Maura Tierney won their respective tournaments, so apparently they do know how to play. Ray’s surprised she baked, and Neela whines that everyone has to bring something homemade. Ray thinks the ER vultures could taste test them for her and she agrees they can have one per person. She goes in as the ambulances start pulling up. Weaver rushes out to meet them. Doris the Paramedic brings in Donna Gallagher, unrestrained teen driver who was ejected when her car flipped. That really sucks, Donna, but there is a reason that seatbelts are installed in all cars, you know. Imbecile. Doris tells them that Donna hit a jogger, who’s coming in on the next rig. Weaver tells Ray to take her to Trauma One and goes to the next ambulance where Pickman is bringing in the passenger, who has facial injuries from the airbag and is complaining of shoulder pain. Pickman says the vitals are stable as Abby comes over to the gurney. Weaver tells Abby to take her to Sutures. Abby asks the girl what her name is and she says “Katherine Odachowski”. Abby tells her “Oh, I feel you. I used to be Abigail Wyczenski”. Hee. The girl smiles at her and says her friends call her “Katie O”.

Ray asks Donna if she can hear him, but she doesn’t respond. Sam says the BP’s 75 systolic, pulse 130. Weaver comes in and asks how they are doing. Ray says there’s nothing in the belly, no tamponade, then puzzled, asks why she’s hypotensive. He pulls back the blanket covering her to reveal her legs, which have several large purple bruises on them. Ray says “ecchymoses on the thighs” and Sam adds that they’re on the distal extremities, too. Weaver says that she’s in DIC. Disseminated Intravascular Coagulation is when your body's blood clotting mechanisms are activated throughout the body instead of being localized to an area of injury. Thanks, Medline Plus Medical Encyclopedia. Ray says that she has to be hemorrhaging somewhere to cause DIC. Weaver orders to get Donna to the scanner. Sam says that Donna’s IV sites are oozing. Ray calls for platelets and FFP, but Weaver says not with the blood shortage and that they can’t give her their last platelets. Ray looks at her like WTF as she explains “she’ll just chew them up”. He protests that she’s unresponsive, bleeding everywhere and she could have a head bleed. Weaver says they don’t know that and asks for someone to give her a gram of acetaminophen. Sam questions “Acetaminophen?” and Weaver says that they’re for her and asks for tablets. Ray asks “why else would she be unconscious?” Weaver tells them to clear her airway and to see what they find on CT. Ray thinks by then it could be too late, as Weaver shoots him a look.

Abby asks Katie O to move her head from side to side. When she does, Abby asks her if it hurts and Katie O says that it’s a little stiff and that she hurts all over. Abby says that her forearms are bruised up and Katie O says she must have hit them on the dashboard. Abby asks her if she remembers what happened as they roll her on her side. Katie O says they were at the mall. Chuny asks her if there was no school, but Katie O says that it was the last day before Spring Break so they cut. I so wish I could have done that. My teachers always scheduled exams then to make sure you attended. Bastards. She says that Donna got a headache and said she wanted to go home. Abby lifts the head of the gurney so that Katie O is sitting up. She asks Katie O to follow her finger. Katie does but says that the light really hurts her eyes as the long drawn out musical notes and pulsing beat of Tragic Teenage Trauma starts getting louder. Abby tells her that the airbag could have scratched her cornea. Chuny says the BP is 115/80, pulse 104. Abby tells Katie O that she’s going to press on her abdomen and says to let her know if it hurts. Katie O says that Donna fainted on the way home and that she tried to stop the car but she couldn’t. Abby calls for a chest x-ray, shoulder series, ICON, VA, and visual acuity. Chuny says that she’ll set up the slit lamp and Abby thanks her. Katie O continues as if everyone’s actually been paying attention to her blathering that then the car was upside down and she looked over at Donna, but she wasn’t there anymore. Katie O’s a bit upset and Abby smiles at her and comfortingly says “It’s okay”.

Patient is groaning loudly as Neela says that the abdomen is tender. Luka calls for five migs of morphine. Heavyset patient guy who looks like Mikey Teutel from American Chopper has a neck brace on and says that this is what he gets for trying to be healthy. Morris says thigh deformity and orders right femur films, C-spine, chest and pelvis, Sager splint. Mikey says that this morning he started a new diet and went out for a jog. Malik, with the cornrows, says the BP’s 94/40, pulse 140. Mikey continues, and like Katie O, thinks people are listening, “When BAM! This car drives into the sidewalk and hits me”. Morris says the pedal pulse is in tact. Neela says that there’s blood in the Morrison’s. Malik chimes in that there are two liters in, and the BP is still 85. Neela tells Mikey that he’s bleeding internally, as Luka, sporting a seemingly shorter style than in the opening scene, stares into Trauma Yellow at Weaver. I haven’t seen Luka interact with Abby yet this episode, so where did they set up the Hair Salon and when did they have time? And Luka’s wearing my favorite of his shirt colors, Luka Blue, the original. Delicious. Luka watches Weaver down her Tylenol. Neela tells Mikey he’ll need surgery to stop it. Mikey threatens “Just wait till I get my hands on that idiot driver”. You currently can’t even get your fat-ass off that gurney, so ratchet down the revenge there, Rambo. Luka orders to type and cross four units and call the OR. Neela says that she’ll look in next door while they wait for Mikey’s films. Luka tells her to check on Weaver while she’s there and see if she needs help. Mikey asks weakly if anyone there does Pilates.

Neela goes into Trauma Yellow as Sam calls that the sat’s 88 and dropping. Ray’s having trouble intubating. Neela asks if they need a surgical consult and Ray says “yes” as Weaver says “not yet”. Neela tells them to page her if anything changes and starts to leave. Ray says that Donna needs sux. Neela stops and asks if they’re okay in there otherwise. Weaver looks at her and asks “Yeah. Why?” Neela, looking a little concerned, answers “Nothing. Dr. Kovac just asked me to make sure”. Weaver, getting that Luka is checking up on her, says that they’re fine. Neela nods, then leaves, as Weaver watches her walk out. She then drops the needle she was holding, but has trouble when she tries to bend to pick it up. Sam and Ray watch her struggle. Realizing she can’t do it, Sam comes around and picks it up for her and disposes of it. Weaver says that Donna is bradying down as Sam calls out that the sat’s 82. Ray tries again to intubate.

Walking past Admit, Pratt spots Neela on the phone and tells her that he needs her to see someone in Exam Three. Neela says into the phone that she has a hypotensive femur fracture and Ortho’s MIA. Pratt tells her that she’s not going to believe this as smiling, he puts an x-ray up. Neela says “Three more minutes before I call your Chief” and hangs up the phone. You go, Neela. I love the new, more confident Neela. Definite improvement over the wavering, whining, and working at Jumbo Mart. She comes over to take a look at the x-ray, which Pratt presents like Vanna White. As we see on the x-ray what looks like a light bulb in the stomach area, he says that the patient is a “professional regurgitator”. Do you have to go to school for that? Hate to see what the entrance requirements are. Chuckling, he unnecessarily states the obvious, that the guy swallowed a light bulb and that it’s stuck in the duodenum and that he needs the OR. Neela agrees that it’s weird, but she can’t help because she has a triple trauma and tells him to page Albright, aka Snotty Surgeon, who I hope to God is not in this episode. Pratt walks with Neela and asks if she heard the good news about Jose Rodriguez, that they’re releasing him today. Neela informs that isn’t happening because Jose developed a wound infection and is going to need another week of antibiotics. Neela continues that she assumes things went well with Luka when Pratt told him what he did. She says “I mean, you are still here”. Not looking at her, Pratt answers “Right … yeah.” Morris calls Neela and tells her he’s got the x-ray on the jogger. Neela tells Pratt she has to go and walks away as Pratt looks a little conflicted.

With a thermometer in her mouth, Katie O asks Abby if they reached her parents, as Abby is listening to her chest. Chuny says that they are on their way in and so are Donna’s. Katie O asks if Donna is okay. Abby assures her that Donna’s got some really good doctors taking care of her. Katie O asks if she can get something for her headache. Abby says “sure” as Chuny tells her that the temp is up to 101.8. Abby calls for 600 of ibuprofen. Katie O asks about her bruises and when will they go away? Abby and Chuny lift her arms and Chuny comments that they’ve spread. Abby and Chuny exchange a look, then Abby pulls the blankets off Katie O’s legs and notices that they are covered with the purple marks. Chuny says pointedly, “Abby” as the Pulsating Percussion of Pubescent Perplexing Predicaments pounds. Abby and Chuny quickly spring into action. Abby tells Chuny to put on a mask, call the lab for stat blood cultures, and hang two grams of ceftriaxone IV. As she goes into Trauma Green, she tells Chuny to make sure Katie O stays in isolation. Abby hurries past Morris, Neela and Mikey and heads towards Trauma Yellow calling for Luka, as Morris tells Mikey not to worry because he’ll be back jogging in no time, but Mikey says to forget it, because he’d rather be fat. Hee.

Abby bursts in just as they are calling time of death on Donna. She tells Luka and Weaver that it’s meningococcemia. Luka asks if she’s sure, as Sam and Ray look at her. Abby moves to Donna’s feet and says that her patient has rapidly progressing purpura and fever, and tossing back Donna’s blankets to reveal her lavender lesions, says that she bets this one does too. Ray says that it’s DIC from trauma. Trying to think it through, Abby says that she doesn’t think so and crossing her arms continues that her girl complained of headache, stiff neck and sensitivity to light. Sam looks over at Luka and says that she’ll call Infection Control. Abby tells him that she put her in isolation and started her on Ceftriaxone. Luka closes his eyes and purses his lips, as Weaver says that they need immediate prophylaxis for all hospital staff exposed to these patients. On the phone, Sam says “That’s a lot of people”. Luka chimes in “We’re all at risk”, as he and Abby share a worried look.

Katie O’s parents look through the Suture Room door and Mrs. Katie O asks when they can go in and be with their daughter. Weaver says not until they get her up to the ICU. Mr. Katie O asks when that will be and Weaver says that they are still waiting for a bed. Mr. Katie O says that he doesn’t understand and asks how did the girls get this and who else was exposed. Weaver says that’s something that Public Health will need to figure out. Mrs. Katie O pipes in that they have two other children and Weaver tells her that they’ll need to be treated immediately, and so do they. Approaching Admit, Weaver tells Chuny to make sure that Katie O’s parents are treated and then to show them to the Family Room. Weaver tells them she’ll come get them when they send Katie upstairs. Frank and Morris are on the phones calling everyone who was potentially exposed. Sam walks up carrying a tray with cups of pills and hands one to Frank. He bitches that he better not get this thing and he can’t even pronounce it. Morris informs Weaver that they are halfway through the student contact list from the girls’ school. Sam hands Morris his pills. Weaver asks how they are doing on cipro. Morris says that Mercy is sending 150 doses and Sam adds that the Pharmacy called the distributor and that they’re sending more within the hour.

Sam approaches Abby in the hallway to give her the pills. Fixated on the tablet PC thingy she’s carrying, Abby distractedly waves her off, saying that she can’t take that because it’s contraindicated. Sam does the Homer Simpson “d’oh!” face and apologizes, saying she didn’t know that. Sam tells Abby “I’ll find you …” as Abby dismisses her, though not nastily, just preoccupied, saying “That’s all right, I’m on it. I got it.” and keeps walking to Admit. In a sort of “wifely concern” tone, Abby asks Luka “Did you take your Cipro?” He says he did and asks if she got her shot. She’s says “no” and that she’s researching alternatives right now. Luka tells her she should just get a Ceftriaxone injection. She says she just wants to make sure. He assures her that it’s totally safe for her and the baby. She complains that he can’t really know that, and that it’s Category B and not Category A. He reminds her that there is no Category A and nobody does controlled trials on pregnant women. Thanks for the PSA on drug safety for gestating females, Abby and Luka, but it really seems a bit silly that he should have to explain this to her. I know she failed her Boards the first time, but she did eventually pass, besides the four years of med school and being in her second year of Residency, not to mention that she was an OB nurse for a long time, so you’d think she’d be at least acquainted with this stuff. Abby cuts him off, reading “In most cases, Ceftriaxone is probably safe”. She repeats “probably” as he puts down the chart he’s working on, moves closer to her and says that he’ll give her the shot himself and grabs her by the hand. She looks at him and says wryly “You’re fine with ‘probably’?” as he drags her away towards an exam room and she has to quick-step to keep up with him. Hee. That was cute. And I love “take charge” Luka.

Pratt walks down the hallway in the Pediatrics ward and looks in a window at Jose, lying on a bed. He goes into the room, asks Jose how it’s going, and sits down. He asks Jose what he’s watching, and Jose says Rock ‘N Roll Soldiers. Is that a TV show or is he talking about the punk band? Maybe he’s watching MTV. Of course, there’s no explanation. Annoying. Pratt asks if it’s any good and Jose says it’s cool. If you’re talking about the band, then I’m with you on that, Jose.

Morris and Sam are bringing in a well-dressed guy in a wheelchair. Calling him “Mr. Elliott”, Morris asks if he hit his head when he passed out. Mr. Elliott answers, and I’m having a hard time making out what he says, but I think it’s “I don’t know. I don’t think so, but then again I was unconscious at the time”. Oh, a low-talker and a wiseass. Great. And it’s Armand Assante. I remember how really fine he was when he and the beautiful Banderas played brothers in The Mambo Kings. Now instead of pretty, he’s paunchy. Really sad when formerly hot guys don’t age well. Keep this in mind, Goran. Not that I’m expecting you to lose any of your lovely lusciousness any time soon, but for my sake and that of millions of women around the world, please take care of yourself. I’ll help. Just saying. And for the love of God, Armand, stop channeling Vito Corleone and speak the hell up! Trying to figure out what you’re saying makes me feel like Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka and I want to start shouting “Mumbler!” every time you open your mouth. Just like with Screeching Serena in the Two Ships ep, I’m going to have to rely on Closed Captioning to decipher Mambo Mumbler’s muddled musings. Thanks, Armand Ass-hat-e. Another guy in a suit walking behind them chimes in that Mambo Mumbler slumped over in the backseat, but he was wearing his seatbelt. Good for you, Mambo Mumbler. More sense than Donna, the Mulberry Marked Mangled Meningitis Minor … may she rest in peace. Sam asks Malik to come help. Mambo Mumbler looks around and sees how busy the ER is and asks if they are giving away free toasters or something. As they help Mumbler onto a bed in the Curtain Area, Morris checks out his eyes and says that the conjunctiva are pale, tachy at 120. And Mambo Mumbler is wearing Luka Blue II, too. Forget it, Mumbler. Your completely chunky carcass cannot compare to the lanky lush limbs of the loveable Luka. Mumbler’s cell phone keeps ringing as Sam asks him if he has any history of heart problems. Mumbler mumbles that his heart is fine. He answers the phone and tells whoever it is that he’ll call them back in ten minutes. Morris tells Mumbler that his spleen is enlarged. Mumbler starts to say something, then says “I’m sorry” and looking at Morris’ nametag “… Morris? Thank you for your thoroughness, but I don’t need any tests” and that he’d prefer his driver, John, to take him home now. He tries to get up back Sam gently pushes him back on the bed saying that she’d prefer his driver to take her home now, too. Really? That hard up that you need to hit on the hairless hired help of a newly arrived patient, Sam? Granted, he’s not bad to look at, but come on, he’s no Luka. But then again, you proved what a complete loon you are by dumping the comely Croatian, so I guess you got to get it where you find it then. And the driver’s name is “John” and he’s bald, which was so obviously written in to remind us of Carter, who himself is sporting the skinhead. Sam tells Mumbler that he has to stay there so they can find out why he passed out. Mumbler asks who she is, and she says “Sam Taggart”. Mumbler says that he’s anemic from MDS, myelodysplastic syndrome. Sam explains to Malik, and therefore the rest of us, that Mumbler’s bone marrow doesn’t like making red blood cells. Thanks, Sam. Morris asks Mumbler what type he has. Mumbler says it’s the kind that requires frequent transfusions, and iron chelation therapy five nights a week. Frank gets on the loudspeaker and announces “Will the owner of the ginormous SUV parked outside please move said vehicle, you’re blocking the ambulance bay, you will be towed”. And he might as well have started “Attention Kmart Shoppers” for the annoyed retail worker voice he’s using. Mumbler sits up and raises his hand, saying “I believe that’s us”. He starts to get up again, as Morris tells him that he has to advise him not to leave because he could pass out again, or he could even have a heart attack. Mumbler’s having a hard time getting to his feet, and he sits back down. Sam asks “Why don’t you let us get two units into you?” and since he’s there he might as well let them “top off his tank”. Oh, so now you’re coming on to Mumbler, eh, Sam? Mumbler tells John to move the car and to take a long lunch, and he’ll call him when he’s ready. Morris orders CBC, retic, type and cross for four and see if there’s an open bed in Exam Three, then walks away. Sam smiles at Mumbler and asks where he normally gets his transfusions, and he says “home” and that he keeps a blood supply there. Sam questions where he gets the blood and Mumbler says “eBay”. Hee. You can always get “It” on eBay. Sam laughs and Mumbler looks at her and chuckles.

John moves the SUV as Luka and Abby walk out into the Ambulance Bay, dressed in their coats. Abby’s wearing the really huge one with all the zippers that she had on when Chi-Chi almost mowed them down Mario Andretti-ing it the Quintessence of Dust episode. Abby tells Luka that he needs to work on his injection technique. Hee. Luka laughs, “Come on, that didn’t hurt”. Abby wishes she didn’t have to take anything. Luka tells her that it’s going to be fine, and not to let her mind go there, it’ll only stress her out. She replies that she’s already stressed out. He tells her he’ll buy her a hot chocolate, and it will make her feel better. With marshmallows, Luka? That always makes me feel better. Abby bitches that she doesn’t want a hot chocolate and she doesn’t want to feel better. She tells him that what she wants to do is worry about the baby. He’s a bit incredulous, “What?” She retorts “Don’t reassure me. Don’t tell me everything’s going to be fine. Don’t …”, Luka cuts in “Buy you hot chocolate?” Hee. Abby complains that she’s serious as a police car enters the Ambulance Bay, and they move away from it. Luka asks her “Don’t you think I’d be concerned if there was any chance that something bad could happen to you or the baby?” I like how he said the “you” before he said “the baby”. Abby bitches “So what, now I’m the crazy one?” Well, hello, Abby … have you met your family? Luka protests that he didn’t say that and that they’re in this together. Abby scoffs “Really?” and Luka says “Yeah. 100%.” Abby argues that it feels more like 60-40 to her. Luka looks at her questioningly, and a little sad. Realizing she might have hurt him, Abby looks rueful and backs down a bit, and sounding very vulnerable, she tells him that sometimes she is completely terrified and that she just needs to worry about it every now and then. Looking down, she says earnestly that she needs him to let her do that. Luka looks down, getting it. He gazes up at her, then containing a smile, in a low voice, lightly asks “Would it help if I worried along with you?” She contemplates him for a second, and also tries not to smile but doesn’t succeed, and replies, “We could try that I guess” and they start walking. Luka takes her arm and she leans into him a little as they walk. Awww. That’s sweet. Bitch. They’re not looking at each other when they’re walking, but both are smiling to themselves. Luka asks her, “How long should we worry?” and Abby says “10 or 20 minutes”. Hee. She glances up at him and smiles as he orders two hot chocolates from the Roach Coach guy. They keep grinning at each other as they wait. Nicely done scene. I think Abby knows she’s acting a bit irrationally, but worrying is something she needs to do and she needs him to let her worry without the constant reassurance, which though well meant, still sort of dismisses what she is feeling. She wants to work through and vent her anxiety and it doesn’t mean that she wants, expects, or needs him to counter it, just to allow her to do so, and that she doesn’t require him to always have to comfort her. I like how he quietly disarms her and diffuses the situation by offering to worry too, letting her know that he understands what she’s saying and that even though she had chosen to continue the pregnancy, her fears didn’t just go away and she needs to work through them. I think he may also be telling her that maybe sometimes he worries, too. Luka has been so amazingly supportive since he found out she was pregnant, but he’s got to have a lot of fears himself, especially considering how horribly his kids were killed. I like that they’ve agreed to share the worry, just as they’ve agreed to share everything so far with this pregnancy, well, except living space officially, even though they really are cohabitating and should just admit it already. When he offers to share the burden of worry, it does become 50/50 to Abby, which really seems to help alleviate some of her fear. These two have been communicating volumes in relatively few sentences all season and it’s been very well done without eating up tons of screen time. And, you know, considering you two act married anyway, I’m sure the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel has the Liberace Package available if you just want to get the wedding over with, Abby and Luka. And maybe Celine Dion or Manilow are in town, too. Perhaps if you’re lucky, Abby, you can sneak away from the Clay Aiken concert for a bit and go catch The Strokes playing at the Hard Rock Hotel.

Ray is cutting off Mr. T’s jewelry. How did Ray talk him into butchering the bling? Another off camera thing. Annoying. Sam walks by and Ray asks if she has a patient belongings bag. She tells him sure and walks towards admit, where everyone is grabbing slices of pizza. Sam says “Oooh, pizza? I didn’t know there was a collection?” Frank tells her that her money’s no good here and Chuny pipes in that it’s on Kovac. Sam says “All right, I’ll take two”. Hee. Catty much? Guess since you’re not invited to the Hair Salon and getting any lascivious Luka lovin’ anymore, you got to take what you can get from him, huh, Sam? Though your hair is looking pretty good today, so maybe you’ve found yourself a Shampoo Boy of your own. Frank says that it’s Luka’s way of saying “Sorry you were exposed to a deadly bacteria”. Hee. And good thinking, Luka. The way to employees’ hearts is through their stomachs and I used to use the pizza bribe frequently with my staff, too. And of course this is another reminder of Carter, who Abby tells a drunk Luka, who’s upset that they don’t talk much any more in Hindsight, “orders a mean pizza”. Morris spots Neela and asks how it went with Mikey. Neela says that he’s still in recovery, but he should be fine. Neela bitches that she’s a pariah because everyone in Surgery has to take Cipro because of her. She looks over and spots her Tupperware container on the counter and admonishes Frank that he was supposed to be the keeper of her cookies, and I’m really not liking the image of Frank anywhere near your “cookies”, Neela. She complains that leaving them out like that and anyone could take as many as they wanted and that they are probably all gone by now. Neela opens the lid and sees that it’s completely full. She asks if anyone’s tasted them. Chuny says reviews are still coming in. Morris walks by and Neela asks “Morris, have you tried my cookies?” I really don’t think Plank would be too happy with you giving away your “cookies” like that, Neela … especially to Morris. Ewww. Morris says he hasn’t, but he would love to try her cookies. Oh, I just bet you would, Morris. He goes to take one and spots Frank and Chuny behind Neela, waving at him and shaking their heads. He gets the warning and says “… As soon as I’m done with lunch” and tells her he’ll save it for later. And again, yet another Carter cue, as this is reminiscent of the scene from Season 8 when Luka’s pseudo-girlfriend Nicole baked him cookies and offered some to Carter, who, looking right at Abby, replied that he would “never touch Luka’s cookies”. Two Carter connections in one scene. Hmmm. The signs are everywhere. Ray comes over and asks Neela if she has a second and they walk down the hall as Malik approaches Admit and yells “Kovac, thanks for the pizza, man”. Carrying his hot chocolate, Luka tells him to enjoy it. Morris asks Frank what that was all about. Franks informs him that if he doesn’t want a three-day bellyache, lose the cookie, and puts a “Biohazard” sticker on the lid of Neela’s Tupperware. Hee.

Ray is asking Neela how late her Spouse Club meeting is going tonight. First rule of Spouse Club, Ray, don’t talk about Spouse Club. Neela says “8:00 or 9:00. Why?” and Ray tells her that he made a date with a hot girl named Ashley and she’s really hard to pin down. I am so hoping this isn’t another Lolita story and that he’s wised up and checked her ID this time. Neela asks why she should care and Ray says that he’s invited her to the apartment, and he’s making Penne ala Barnett, which basically means he’s boiling some Ronzoni and opening a jar of Ragu. Neela does the Botox inducing scowl and tells him that’s great and that she’s absolutely knackered and all she wants to do after this meeting is go straight home, veg out on the sofa and watch some TV. Ray begs her and says that he really likes this girl. Neela tells him he likes them all. Hee. As she walks away he calls after her that he owes her.

Neela walks up to Abby who is looking at an x-ray in the hall. Abby asks her what’s up and she says that she just made Ray happy. Abby says “You’re such a giver”. Hee. Abby asks her if she wants to have dinner with her tonight. Neela says she can’t. Abby says that’s too bad and that she was looking forward to sharing a meal with someone who doesn’t calculate every ounce of protein she eats. Neela says “Ah, is Luka being a little overprotective?” Abby says that he just doesn’t understand that sometimes the baby wants a hot fudge sundae at night, and I am so with you on that Abby seeing as my husband didn’t buy into baby needing his daily requirement of Dairy Queen either. And one more Carter shout-out, as he and Abby shared a hot fudge sundae in Sand and Water. Of course, that was also the scene where Abby, knowing Carter saw her at the AA meeting, made the unfortunate self-deprecating remark to him “I’m a drunk”, which succeeded in forever coloring the way he saw her, as someone who was lacking in some way and needed to be repaired. But anyway, just another sign that all roads lead to Carter. Neela tells her that she has some themes in mind for her baby shower. Abby gives a look and says “Themes? I’m not sure I’m really the “baby shower” kind of person”. Hee. She really isn’t. Neela says hopefully that they could have a tea party with a garden theme, or a diaper party, or a books for baby party … Seeing as it is Luka and Abby, you should probably just go with a Copacabana theme, Neela. Abby thinks it’s a little bit early to be talking about that stuff. Oh, yeah, and shopping for baby gear in the first trimester isn’t, Abby? Though you did get to try on more than just maternity clothes in the dressing room that day, so I don’t think I can really blame you. Neela says that maybe she wants a coed shower. Considering she’s with Luka, I’m pretty sure coed showers are already standard operating procedure for her at this point, Neela. I know they would be for me. Just saying. Neela tells her that before she knows it, the baby is going to be there. Abby agrees and says “And my life as I know it will be over”. Yup, can’t fault your logic there, Abby. Neela tells her “in a good way”, which Abby echoes. Abby tells her they can talk about baby showers next week but that she’s telling her right now that she’s not wearing a paper plate hat with ribbons on it. Hee. I would so love to see that.

Abby walks down the hall to the room where Katie O is in isolation and puts her chart in the file pocket hanging outside. She looks in at Katie, then turns to walk away. Glancing into Trauma Green, she notices Weaver trying to bend to pick something up off the floor. Abby stops, folds her arms and watches her through the door. Weaver picks up a needle off the gurney and drops it to the floor. Abby opens the door and comes in, saying “Looks like fun. Can anybody play?” Hee. A little embarrassed, Weaver says that she was just practicing. Abby looks at her quizzically and Weaver explains that she dropped a syringe today and couldn’t pick it up. Abby nods and asks “Your hip?” and Weaver nods. She says that it’s a pain, literally and figuratively. Abby bends down and picks up the syringe. Weaver thanks her. Abby asks if she’s given up on the idea of replacement surgery. Weaver responds “Three times now … including today”, and says that she cancelled. She explains that it’s not a good time for her to be off her feet, the ER needs her and what mobility she does have she needs for Henry because all he wants to do these days … and breaking up a little adds “drive the little hot rod that I got him. He steers and I push”. Awww. Abby tells her that Henry is only going to get older and more active. Weaver turns away and Abby asks if she’s afraid of the surgery. Weaver shakes her head as Lily (yay, Lily!) bursts in saying that she needs the room because Luka has an assault victim. Abby asks Weaver “Buy you a free cup of coffee?” Weaver answers “That’s … that’s very generous”. Hee. They start walking out as Luka and Lily wheel in James Bucci, 21, blunt trauma to the head and chest. A Random Paramedic says the pulse is in the 80’s, resps 18, BP160 over 95. Luka tells Lily to get Pratt. He introduces himself to James and asks what his name is. Duh, Luka, Random just told that it’s “James”. I know it must be hard to concentrate with all the lather, rinse, repeat-ing you’ve been doing, but do please try to pay attention. In a slurred voice, James says “Go Huskies …”. What’s he, an Iditarod Cheerleader? Random says that James is disoriented to place and time, but that he’s had a few. Luka asks how it happened and Random says that James got into fight with another basketball fan and adds “You know … March Madness”. Luka counters “More like March Stupid”. Hee. I’m so with you there, Luka. And the whole basketball thing once again points to Carter, because, you know, he shot hoops in the Ambulance Bay and all.

Pratt is walking to Trauma Green, pulling on gloves. He passes three college-age guy horsing around. He tells them it’s not a playground, though considering the maturity level of most of the ER staff, I kind of think it is, Pratt. He pushes into the trauma room and asks Luka what they have. Luka fills him in about the bar fight, head trauma and that he was alert on arrival, but brady-ed down, hyperventilating. Lily says that the sat’s only 79 and Luka says he needs a tube. Pratt goes to intubate and asks what’s with the Three Stooges out there. Luka thinks they can’t hold their liquor. Hee. Lily calls out that the BP’s 210/100, heart rate’s down in the 50’s, as the aforementioned Three Stooges burst into the room, giggling, falling all over themselves and generally annoying the shit out of me. Luka tells them that they need to wait outside. One of them speaks, so he must be the leader, so I’ll call him Moe. Moe says that it was just a stupid bar fight. Pratt bitches “you should know”, as Curly chimes in laughing, “It was nothing. The bartender called 911”. Larry adds “He was probably scared he’d get his ass sued”, as Luka yells at them to knock it off. Moe asks if James is going to be all right. Luka and Pratt ignore them and Luka tells Lily to call CT and tell them they’ll be up there as soon as they get an airway. Pratt finishes intubating. Curly and Larry are still playing around, but Moe’s watching what Luka and Pratt are doing. And I’m with you on that, Moe … except for the watching Pratt part.

Mambo Mumbler is in a hospital gown in an Exam Room, wearing glasses and playing with a Blackberry. Know how you feel, Mumbler, those things are addictive. A guy in a turban in the bed next to him tells Sam that she’s very good and that he didn’t even feel the needle. Sam chuckles and replies “Fastest stick north of the Mason-Dixon”. That sounded a little kinky, and I’d be surprised if you actually knew what the Mason-Dixon line is Sam, let alone where it’s located, considering we already know that you are geographically challenged since you didn’t even know there were beaches in Croatia. Sam pulls Turban’s curtain, and comes over and asks Mumbler how he’s feeling. Mumbler incoherently replies, but his Closed Captioning (CC) tells me that he says “That pizza really hits the spot”. Sam says she figured him for a “deep dish” guy, which would really not explain why he seems so interested in you, Sam. Mumbler asks if Morris heard back from his primary physician. Sam says she’s not sure, and to hold on, as she walks over to the phone. Sam asks Frank to tell Morris that she got a repeat on his 12-lead and can she get atropine to the lab, as Mumbler watches her intently. She then asks if he knows if Mumbler’s doctor and he supplies “Robert Gorman” and she continues “Dr. Gorman has called back yet?” Sam hangs up the phone and tells Mumbler that he hasn’t. Mumbler’s pissed and wants to know why he’s paying $20,000 a year in personalized medical care, if he can’t even get it in an emergency. Sam’s impressed, “$20,000?” Mumbler explains that Gorman is a “boutique doctor”. Sam says that if there is anything as a “boutique nurse” to sign her up. There is, Sam. It’s called a “satisfaction facilitator” and if you’re really interested, I’m sure Abby still has the card for the one she set up for Dubenko earlier this season. Mumbler starts “Listen, Miss Taggart …” and Sam corrects “Sam”, then says it’s short for “Samantha”. She checks his temperature. Mumbler thinks that if life were fair, nurses, cops, firemen and teachers would all be played like baseball players and movie stars, and I'm so with you on that, Mumbler. Sam likes the way he thinks, too. Sam grabs a blanket out of the warmer and asks him if he doesn’t mind her asking, she wants to know what he does. He says he manages hedge funds, and that he started out in imports and exports. Sam puts the blanket on him and he asks what she’s doing. She says “You’re cold” and smiles at him. She tells him she’ll check back in a bit and heads out as he watches her leave.

Back in Trauma Green, Lily says v-tach and they lost the pulse. Luka starts compressions as Moe asks “What’s wrong?” Luka explains that James’ heart went into an abnormal rhythm as Pratt shocks James. Moe can’t believe this is happening. Luka tells them that one of them needs to call James’ parents as Pratt shocks James again and they get sinus rhythm. Larry thinks he’s going to hurl and Pratt yells “Nope, not in here you’re not” and pushes them out the door. Luka calls for them to get James to CT before he codes again as Pratt enters the hall with the Stooges. Pratt wants to know what’s the matter with them, their friend is in there sick and they’re acting like jackasses. He yells to a Security Guard to make sure the Stooges stay in the Waiting Room, who pushes Curly and Larry off. Moe stops and explains that they’re not always like that and that they’ve been friends since they were little. Pratt tells him to do himself a favor and get new friends. Yeah, and you should have dropped Darnell’s useless ass a long time ago, too, Pratt. Moe guiltily says that he did it. He says that James was riding them about their team and how they had no inside game and that he got up in Moe’s face so Moe punched him. Pratt replies that friends get into sometimes as Luka and Lily quickly wheel James past behind them. Not believing what he’s done, Moe says “I lost it, man … you know, it was a split second, man, and he fell and he hit his head on the table”. Pratt nods and sympathetically tells him that he didn’t mean it and to believe him, that everybody’s done something in the past that they wish they could take back, and they share a look of understanding. Moe says that he should call James’ parents and let them know what’s going on. Pratt looks troubled as Moe walks away.

Weaver is sitting on the couch in the lounge as Abby brings two mugs over. Weaver asks Abby what she sees when she looks at her. Abby questions “What?” as she hands Weaver one of the mugs. Weaver asks Abby how she would describe her. Abby doesn’t know. Weaver chuckles and says “Well ...” so Abby starts “Okay … uh … you’re a woman”. Good Abby, start off with the obvious. Weaver nods and Abby adds, “Doctor, mother … a friend”. Awww. That’s sweet. Though they really haven’t had much contact the past few seasons. Weaver quietly thanks her, and looks at her encouragingly to continue. Abby then says “you’re pretty”, and Weaver smirks and shakes her head at her. Abby’s obviously at a loss and chuckling, starts stammering “Um .. uh, redhead … nice dresser …” Hee. Weaver cuts her off and says, exasperated, “I’m a disabled person”. Abby tells her that’s not how she sees her. Weaver asks “Why not?” She then goes on that it’s who she is, it’s who she’s always been. It’s how she grew up and it’s how she sees herself. She explains that she’s never considered herself “handicapped” or “broken” and adds “I don’t need to be fixed!”, and if you’re keeping score, this is another distinct Carter clue as Abby said just about these exact same words to him in Chaos Theory. Weaver continues that if it weren’t for the pain and the limits that she’s facing at work and trying to take care of her son, she’d never even consider getting a new hip. Not looking at Abby, she quietly points out that this surgery is going to take away her crutch forever. Looking up at Abby, she emotionally puts forth that everyone says that’s so great, but asks what else will she be giving up? “Who will I be then?” That Weaver thinks her identity is so wrapped up in her disability is not actually all that uncommon. In my job I happen to work with a lot of disabilities service organizations and I’ve met some people who have held similar views when faced with surgeries to restore sight, or regain use of limbs. Very well played scene. I like seeing the interaction between Weaver and Abby, and think that Laura Innes and Maura Tierney work well together. I hope the writers continue to build this friendship.

Mumbler is once again dressed in the Luka Blue II and has his tie back on as Morris tells him that he should be good for another two weeks before his next transfusion. Morris apologizes that his primary doctor never called back, and Mumbler tells him not to worry about it. He shakes Morris’ hand and thanks him. Guess Morris has permanently given up the incompetence and they’re going to make him a good doctor now. Annoying. Morris leaves and Mumbler let’s Sam in on the secret that he fired Gorman an hour before. Sam responds “Well, that’ll teach his non-responding boutique butt”. Hee. Chuny walks in with New Alex and calls over to Sam. Sam runs over to him and asks him what happened as we see that Newlex’ face is banged up. He tells her he was “jacked” and that a couple of older kids beat him up on the way home. Concerned, Sam asks if it hurts much. He says no, but that they stole his cell phone. She tells him not to worry about it. Newlex’ hair looks like Phil Hartman’s Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer from SNL. Or maybe it’s more Hasselhoff from the Knight Rider days. Anyway, very 80’s and he needs a good haircut because it’s quite a bushy mess. I would suggest an appointment at Luka’s and Abby’s Mobile Hair Salon, but I think they’re not taking on any new clients since they seem to be pretty much booked up doing each other’s hair. Sam asks Chuny if she can take Newlex to Curtain Four. She tells Newlex that she gets off in fifteen minutes and they’ll leave then. Chuny leads him out, saying that she’ll get him an ice pack. Sam goes back over to Mumbler and tells him that’s her kid. Mumbler tells her that it sounds like she and her husband can move into a nicer neighborhood now. Sam corrects him that it’s just Newlex and her and on a nurse’s salary, where they live is a nice neighborhood. Once again, Sam, I have to point out that you did have Luka’s lovely apartment until the insanity hit and you moved out, so your currently cruddy crib is your own fault. Mumbler acknowledges that it must be hard raising a kid on your own. Then Sam exposits the most unbelievable thing I’ve ever heard her utter, “He’s a good kid”. Looking at life through mother-goggles is really not doing your psycho spawn any good, Sam. Sam helps Mumbler on with his suit jacket. She tells him he’s all done and that someone will be there shortly to wheel him out. Mumbler says he’d rather walk. Sam starts to tell him about hospital policy as he brazenly struts away blustering “Do I look like I need a wheelchair here?” He holds the door open for her saying “Ladies first”.

Newlex is in the foreground, holding an ice pack to his cheek as we see Sam and Mambo Mumbler walking down the hall. He’s telling her that he has two sons and a daughter. “Denny” and “David” are out West and “Kelly” is in Boca and trying to get him to relocate. Sam chimes in that Florida is nice and he complains “Yeah, if you like hurricanes and early-bird specials”. And I have to add bugs the size of your head to that list, too, Mumbler. Yuck. He says that he likes his view of the ice on Lake Michigan. Sam, looking a little infatuated which is so not a good thing, holds out her hand for him to shake, telling him it was really good to meet him. He shakes it, responding “It was good to meet you, Samantha”. They nod at each other as he leaves and she goes over to Newlex.

Luka is giving orders to Lily as Pratt approaches. He tells Lily “good work in there” and she cheerfully chirps “Thanks! You too” and smiles at him before she walks away. Watch yourself, Lily. I like you and have missed seeing you around much this season, but I will not hesitate to hurt you if you don’t back off the beautiful. Pratt asks Luka if he’s got a minute. Luka says “sure”. Pratt’s looking a bit apprehensive as he asks if they can talk in private. Luka motions towards Trauma Yellow and they go in. Luka sits down on the gurney and they start to talk.

Abby’s wiping names off the Board. She complains “Morris, you have the handwriting of a serial killer”. Hee. Two teenage twits come over to Abby and want to ask her something. Twit One Valley-Girl’s that she has “this bruise” and wants to know if Abby thinks she’s got what “those girls have”. Abby comes over to take a look as the girl pulls her hair back to show the mark on her neck. Abby looks and says “Oh … I think what you’ve got there is a …” as Twit Two interrupts “A hickey, right?” and Abby replies “Right”. Twit Two says “See told you”, to which Twit One retorts “You’re just jealous because Kevin likes me” and they start “are not”-ing and “are too”- ing each other until Abby points them over to the other side of Admit and tells that if they go right over that way someone will take care of them. Abby walks over towards Morris, who asks her what she thinks Pratt and her “BabyDaddy” are talking about in Trauma One. BabyDaddy … hee … that cracks me up because it reminds me of this one Springer I saw that had this knocked-up skank on who kept giving shout-out’s to “all my babies’ fathers”, but to her latest “BabyDaddy” especially. Who of course was the younger brother of two of her previous BabyDaddies. Morris thinks it looks pretty serious. Chewing gum, Abby says “Hmm … maybe they’re talking about you”. Hee. And of course, Morris falls for that one again, saying a little worriedly “You think?” as Abby walks away.

Neela walks up to Admit, and tells Frank she’s leaving and asks for her cookies. Frank says “Fellas?” and Ray and Morris gather round. Ray says that they need to have a talk, as Frank rips the Biohazard sticker off the container and pockets it before Neela can see it. Hee. Acting like they are doing an Intervention, Morris says that because they care about her and Neela breaks in “Since when?” Frank says that it makes things more difficult if she’s all … and Neela asks if they’ve all been hit in the head with a mallet. Hee. She asks them what they are blathering on about. Ray tells her “Your cookies.” Neela doesn’t get what he means. Morris says that after careful consideration from her ER peers, plus Hector in Janitorial Services … and Frank takes over, saying gently, “…Just, the feeling is that your cookies are … uh …”. Ray fills in “The worst cookies ever made in the history of baking”. Neela laughs and says “Shut up”, then realizes that they are serious and bitches “Bollocks to you all!” Hee. She grabs the cookies from Frank and flounces away as Morris calls after her that the truth hurts.

Weaver starts to get up from the chair she’s been sitting in behind the computer, another indication of Carter as he sat in that chair at least once, and tells everyone that if they need her, she’ll be in Exam Three doing a shoulder reduction. She can’t quite make it to her feet as Ray rushes over to support her. He tells her that shoulder reduction is tricky and he had one where he had to use his whole body and practically had to stand on the guy to pop the sucker back in place. Weaver isn’t looking at him, but is hearing what he is saying. He exposits that you’ve got to get it right the first time, or else the patient is in a lot of pain. Another two-in-one scene nod to Carter, as he had to do a shoulder reduction on a female former heroine addict who didn’t want any drugs in April Showers and got into a pissing contest with Luka because Luka felt Carter was causing the patient undo pain and possible serious damage by not sedating her first. Weaver looks at Ray and agrees “That would be bad”. Ray tells her he’ll take it if she wants, and she thinks that’s an excellent idea. After Ray walks away, Weaver asks Frank to get her Doc Blue on the phone, as the camera zeros in on her troubled look.

Luka says to Pratt in a “let me clarify this” tone, “You falsified the police report”, and Pratt guesses that he did. Luka paces with his hands on his hips and bitches “That’s great”. He rubs his right hand over his face and sighs, apparently trying to process all this. He turns to Pratt and admonishes that Pratt must know that he is obligated to report this to the state medical board. Pratt knows. Luka warns him that they’ll investigate, and from what he’s said, there’s little doubt they’ll suspend Pratt’s license. He continues that Pratt’s career and reputation gone because of one moment of stupidity. Pratt tries to explain that it didn’t seem like that at the time. Luka scolds that now that he knows, Pratt’s involved him, too. Contrite, Pratt says he had to tell him. Luka asks “What would you do if you were me?” Well, if I were you, Luka, I’d be permanently disrobed in front of a mirror all day listening to Billy Idol’s “Dancing With Myself”, but that’s just me. I’m sure Pratt would have a different idea that wouldn’t involve your nakedness. Luka gets in his face and again asks “What would you do?” Damn ... authoritarian Luka is hot! Is it wrong that I’m finding his doling out the discipline incredibly sexy? You know, I’ve been a bit naughty lately … I’m thinking I’m about due for some penance, too, Luka .... I’m sure we could come up with an appropriate punishment … Just saying. Luka asks “Would you risk your career for someone who did what you did?” Lily comes in and tells Luka that Ortho needs him to eyeball an open tib-fib before he goes upstairs, as Luka continues to stare Pratt down. Lily says his name again, and Luka asks her to please give them a minute. Luka turns away from Pratt, who looks ashamed. Luka tells him he’s going on vacation. Pratt doesn’t understand. Luka tells him five days unpaid, starting now. Pratt, looking almost like he’s going to cry, asks “You’re kidding, right?” Luka pointedly tells him “Don’t have fun. Don’t enjoy. Spend it thinking about what it means to be a doctor.” Luka turns to walk out and Pratt thanks him. Luka rebukes “No. Don’t thank me. It’s not a reward”, and angrily storms out. I like the way Luka handled this situation, he was suitably outraged, but not over the top with his anger and appropriately reprimanded Pratt. I think he didn’t report him because just as Pratt told Moe earlier that we’ve all done things in the past that we wish we hadn’t, Luka knows that there are things he’s done that he shouldn’t, like covering for Sam’s having killed Louise the rape victim in White Guy, Dark Hair by posthumously inflating the trach balloon so it wouldn’t be apparent what Sam had done. Though I like how managerial Luka was, I wonder how he’s going to explain Pratt’s sudden “vacation”. Since Neela’s in Surgery, Chi-Chi’s on “medical leave”, and Weaver is physically unable to do the job, having Pratt gone will just leave the already short-staffed ER with just Luka, Abby, Ray and Morris. Pratt looks sufficiently chastened. Mekhi Pfifer was good in this scene, playing something we really haven’t seen before, a very humbled Pratt. And another deliberate Carter reference, as I’m almost certain he wore a grey shirt like Pratt’s at one time or another.

Ray walks up to Abby and thanks her again for letting him get off early for his date. Abby replies “Anything for love and pasta.” Hee. Ray hands her some charts and updates her, “Okay, basal skull fracture being admitted for obs as soon as you take care of your head lac”, and he must mean a patient because Abby doesn’t look like her head is bleeding. Ray tells her that the lac has already been irrigated, just needs a few staples. Ray introduces Mr. Gautier to Abby and leaves. Abby says hello and checks out the back of Gautier’s head. And he’s sporting the Carter Crappy Crew Cut, too, as we have one more to add to the long series of reminders this ep. Abby asks Gautier how he hurt his head and he says he was trying to stop an epidemic. Abby says “Really?” as he fills in “Of anti-social behavior”. He asks her why some parents think it’s okay for their kid to yell “doody” over and over again in public, and I’m guessing Gautier has never seen Caddyshack. Abby mock seriously says that she’s often wondered that herself. Hee. Gautier continues “Or that it’s good manners when little Emma or Julian sprawls out on the floor or hurls themselves at display cases while you’re trying to enjoy a latte”. Abby chuckles a little as she asks him that latte led to his skull fracture. He explains that when he told “doody boy” to use his “inside voice”, his mom threatened to call the cops. Then sheepishly he adds that he tripped over a double stroller on his way out. Abby gasps and looks surprised. Gautier is appreciative and thanks her for being on his side. Looking away contemplatively, Abby says it’s not that, then explains to him that it’s her baby, and a bit amazed, says that she just felt it move. He asks “You did?” Smiling, and looking absolutely delighted, then a bit in awe, tells him that it’s the first time. Exactly how I reacted the first time I felt the flutterings, too. Enjoy it while you can, Abby, because pretty soon when the drop-kicks to your bladder come, you’ll not be quite so pleased. He sarcastically says “Great! It’s all about you isn’t it?” HA!!! That shout-out ought to please all the Abby-haters out there that complain that everything really is All About Abby, All The Time. Hee. Abby shakes it off and gets back to work.

An anesthesiologist is explaining risks to Weaver. He tells her that although rare, unexpected and severe complications may occur which include remote possibility of infection, bleeding, blood clots, paralysis, stroke, brain damage, loss of sensation, heart attack or death, as Weaver looks off. And the pre-op room is awfully dark. Did they buy their lighting at the same place Luka got his the bat cave? And it seems a bit bizarre that there are no other patients there. Anesthesiologist guy goes on reading the waiver, as Weaver seems lost in thought and the camera moves into close-up.

A woman is addressing a group of people sitting in a living room, saying “That concludes the business portion of our meeting, ladies … and gentleman” as she points to the one guy there. She tells them “let’s eat” as Neela enters and takes off her coat. Meeting Lady comes over to her and Neela apologizes for being late and hands her a package of cookies. Meeting Lady looks at the package with a “I just smelled something rotten” look as Neela explains that she knows they aren’t homemade, but insists that they are very good, and that she had a baking setback. Hee. Meeting Lady condescends that it must be hard and she frankly doesn’t know how “you gals” do it, married to their careers and the military. Neela sort of grins, though it’s really more of a grimace, as Meeting Lady walks away.

Sam and Newlex are walking through the Ambulance Bay. Newlex asks if he can have pizza for dinner and Sam protests “I can cook, you know” and Newlex responds “Yeah, but not pizza”, as they spot Mambo Mumbler leaning against the SUV, talking on his cell. Sam tells Newlex he’s going to turn into a pizza, the idea of which has just succeeded in ruining my favorite food for me. Thanks, Sam. Mumbler hangs up, and he and Sam exchange “hey” ‘s as they walk up. Newlex asks him if the car is his. Mumbler asks him what he thinks, and Newlex thinks it’s pretty cool. Sam thinks it’s pretty big. Mumbler tells Newlex that anytime they want to take a ride, just let him know. Newlex thinks that’s “awesome”, then asks Sam if he can have a soda. Looking at Mumbler, she tells him sure, and reaches in her pocket for some money. She gives it to him and tells him to wait inside the store for her, and reminds him to be careful crossing the street. Mumbler tells “John” to go with him. Sam complains that Newlex is going to be bugging her about that ride for weeks. Mumbler says that he meant it and hands her a business card. Sam says she’ll think about it. Mumbler tells her that he has something else for her to think about. Mumbler says that he was in a real firing mood today and that besides the primary care doctor, he sacked his home-care nurse, too. Sam asks him why he did that. He tells her that he saw her in action and she got him thinking. Oh no, why am I getting a distinct Indecent Proposal vibe here? He tells her that he could do better. She says that it’s too bad she’s not available. He replies “You’re not? Oh … that’s a shame”, and that he was offering her the job. She tells him that it’s very flattering, but she already has a job. He says that she can keep it, because he’s offering her a part-time job, with flexible hours and good pay. She just has to check his crit, which I at first thought was a bit kinky and presumptuous of him, until I remembered that he’s got that blood thing. He adds that she’d have to give him the transfusions when he needs them, and the overnight chelation therapy that has to be done five times a week. Sam tells him that she can’t do overnights, because she has Newlex and she can’t be running back and forth to his house in the middle of the night. He knows that which is why she and Newlex are more than welcome to come live with him. Damn, Mambo Mumbler’s a fast mover. Sam gives him a “you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me” scowl and says “Excuse me?” Smiling, he tells her that she could take a whole section of his house, right now, and have it all to herself. His live-in housekeeper, Mrs. Harrison, has been with him 15 years. He says that the place is so big, he hardly ever sees the woman. Remember, Carter lived in a mansion, too. He says that Mrs. Harrison could even watch Newlex after school. Sam asks if it’s that he feels sorry for her because she’s a single mom nurse and that she’s not a charity case. Mumbler clarifies that it’s not charity, it’s an opportunity. Sam looks at him, then laughs incredulously because the whole thing is just so ridiculous. She stammers that it’s just … weird. He tells her to think about it and he looks forward to hearing from her.

Neela and the others are at the buffet spread on the dining table. An Army Wife asks Neela how Michael is doing, and as always, it takes me a minute to realize they are referring to Plank. Army Husband says “God bless him, volunteering to go back”. Neela quietly says that Plank is fine, doing well, says he’s busy and that he misses her. A pregnant woman says that of course Plank does and that he’ll be home again soon, and I highly doubt that Preggers, considering he just re-upped. Neela asks her if “Joe” is going to be home in time for the birth. Preggers says that she doesn’t think so and that he’d probably pass out in the delivery room anyway, as Army Husband chimes in that he did, and they chuckle. Preggers admits that she of course wants him home, but she knew what she was getting into when she married a soldier – the long absences, the constant moving, the pay … Neela thinks it’s sad that he’s not going to be there as they all walk towards the living room. Preggers says that it’s hard sometimes, but that’s why she’s so glad she has Spouse Club and all of them. Army Wife says that their loved ones are serving their country and it’s a small price to pay, as they all sit down. Neela thinks it’s a huge price to pay, especially under the circumstances. Army Wife asks “what circumstances?” Neela’s talking about the way the whole thing has been handled, how we got into it, how it’s been managed. They’re all looking at her as Army Husband asks her what she means. Uh oh, Neela, I’m guessing it’s time to shut your trap. Looking at their faces, Neela tells them to never mind, and that she’s sorry. Army Husband wants her to go on. Neela stupidly does. She tells them that she still hasn’t seen any weapons of mass destruction and asks if they have. Preggers tries to change the subject by asking if anyone is thirsty. Army Husband and Army Wife don’t look very pleased. Army Husband asks her if she doesn’t support the war, how does she justify what Plank is doing over there? She says she doesn’t justify it, and she doesn’t support any war, but she does support the troops and she’s proud of her husband, but Army Wife doesn’t think it sounds that way. Neela, obviously suffering from “foot-in-mouth” disease, says that they can’t tell her that they believe 100% in their hearts that we should be in Iraq. Army Husband doesn’t think it helps to talk that way and Army Wife pipes in that “our duty is to support their duty”. Neela thinks that her duty is to be a good doctor, and to be a good wife, and not to be brainwashed into falling in line with some pseudo-patriotic delusion. Oh yeah, I’m guessing Neela’s not going to be invited to be a Stepford Army Wife In-Training anytime soon. She’ll be lucky if anyone even tries her cookies now. Everyone just kind of stares at her. I happen to agree with Neela, but I really don’t think that was appropriate.

Anesthesiologist Guy is now dressed for surgery, complete with cap, and is standing next to Weaver’s bed, filling out a chart as Abby comes in and tells Weaver that she got her page. Abby asks her if she’s all right. Anesthesiologist Guy tells Weaver that they’ll be in for her soon and she thanks him and then tells Abby she’s fine. Abby says that she thought Weaver cancelled the surgery. She says that she “un-cancelled” and that the surgeon was afraid she’d change her mind again tomorrow. And they must have gotten some brighter bulbs, because the room is better lit in this scene. Abby looks at Weaver expectantly, and Weaver tells her that there is something that she needs to ask her. Abby moves from the foot of the bed to Weaver’s left side and asks if she wants her to hang around and check on her in Recovery. Weaver says that’s not it. She says that if something were to happen in surgery, she’d need someone to look after Henry. Abby tells her that nothing is going to happen in surgery. Weaver says “but if it does” and Abby says “Kerry …”. Weaver asks her if she’ll be Henry’s legal guardian. Really? I know they’re kind of friends, but I didn’t think they were that close to ask something like that. Abby doesn’t know what to say. She looks around a little, thinking, then asks about Sandy’s parents. Weaver says that they are wonderful with him, but they’re getting older and she just needs to know that he’d be okay. Doesn’t Sandy have siblings? I seem to remember she had a least one brother who was a firefighter, too. Considering the Lopez family took Weaver to court, wouldn’t they fight Abby’s having custody, also? Abby nods, then looks down and explains “And you know that it’s not just me now, that Luka’s in my life”. Weaver says that he’s a good man, he’s going to be a great father. Abby smiles kind of affectionately and proudly at that remark, because she knows that’s true. She asks Weaver if this is even possible to do now, and isn’t there something she has to do, sign a legal thing or something. Weaver says that she had “these drawn up the first time that I scheduled the surgery”. The door opens and two guys dressed ready for surgery are in the doorway. Weaver asks if they could please give them a second, and they step outside. Weaver says that sometimes it’s hard being alone, and tells Abby honestly, “but I’ve always felt like I could depend on you”. Abby looks at her, bites her lip, then smiles and says “You can” and takes the envelope – just like she took the envelope from Carter in The Show Must Go On. See how this works? Weaver whispers “Thanks” and Abby nods and smiles a little at her. Another nicely done scene. I like how comfortable Abby is with her relationship with Luka. The way she let Weaver know that Luka is in her life suggests, at least to me, that she considers this a long-term thing and if the horrible happens and she did wind up with custody of Henry, it would be she and Luka raising him together. I also think this is partly why Weaver asked her; because she knew Luka would be involved, too. Kerry and Luka have been shown to be very supportive of each other in the past. There was a reason Luka was the first person to whom she admitted being a lesbian, and he gave her the encouragement about how not to let go when you love someone. I think that she trusts him, as she does Abby, and that’s why she asks this of Abby now. Though I think it’s more than a bit unrealistic that the micro-manager Weaver we’ve seen previously wouldn’t have had guardianship plans already in place for Henry, especially considering how her partner was killed accidentally. Even though Abby’s assuming that Luka would have no problem with taking care of Henry, she really wasn’t given any time to talk it over with him first, since Weaver’s surgery is just about to happen. She also understands how Luka feels about kids and how readily he had accepted Alex as part of his life when he was in the relationship with Sam, so she knows he would be there for Henry also.

Neela’s walking down the hallway to her apartment, carrying the still full container of cookies. Hee. We hear “Unchained Melody” coming from behind the door. Neela stops and listens, curious. She smirks and puts her key in to open the door. As she opens it, we hear the sounds of cheering. She says “Ray?” as we see Ray sitting in front of the TV with a basketball game on. He sits up a little stiffly on the couch and she asks “Were you watching Ghost?” and he says “What? No, no, it’s the game”. Hee. Neela asks him where his date is. He says that something came up, and Neela says knowingly “She stood you up”. Ray replies disgustedly “Yeah, fine, you know, if that’s what you want to hear, she stood me up, okay?” Smiling, Neela teasingly tells him that he is a mere mortal after all. She sits down next to him with her cookies and sighs. He asks her if she had a rough night. She wants to know if it’s possible to kick yourself out of a club. Hee. Well, if you’ve seen Fight Club, Neela, it’s not only possible to do that, but to kick your own ass as well. Ray chuckles and hands her an unopened beer that’s in front of him and toasts “To better times”, and they chink the bottles together and take a drink. She tells him that she feels very proud of Plank, but sometimes when she’s with the other wives, she starts to get so angry, frustrated, and she talks too much. Hee. Ray says facetiously, “You? Talk too much?” and she says that it’s only because she misses Plank. Can’t understand why, unless she’s out of firewood or something. Neela looks around and says that this is utterly pathetic. Ray’s all “what?” as she waves her hand around and says “This. A married woman living like a college student. Crying next to her roommate on the sofa”. I’m not really seeing any crying, Neela. Ray says that he has something that will make her feel better. Oh, please don’t tell me that you are all into her “cookies”, too, Ray. Ray picks up the remote and turns on World Poker Tour and Neela’s all touched that he recorded it for her, and he says “Anything for my roomie”. And that would be really sweet if it weren’t, you know … Ray. Neela smiles and leans her head on Ray’s shoulder. He looks over at her as she keeps her eyes on the TV, then leans his head over towards hers and they both sort of smile. Uh oh, I’m wondering where they are going with this and I’m suddenly having a bad feeling that Plank may be headed for the chipper …

Anesthesiologist Guy, with his Yin/Yang skull cap, is telling Weaver to take some deep breaths as he injects something into her IV. He says that she’ll start feeling sleepy and tells her to count backwards from 100. Camera closes in on Weaver as she counts “100 … 99 … 98 … 97 … 96 … 95 …” and we fade to black.

Next on an all new ER: A female patient is saying “Please … I can’t breathe”; from the patient’s point of view we see Abby lean over the gurney and tell her “Hang in there, we’re going to take care of you”, then the camera switches to a young woman who’s all bloody and looks really scared, probably because Abby just kind of popped up into her face; Angsty Announcer guy tells us “A patient arrives … with a secret … that will test what they know”; We hear Abby say I’m in, as Sam, with her hair looking pretty nice, making me look forward to no hair hell, says with a really doubtful expression, “I don’t think you are”; Chi-Chi’s back and is running down the hall, as the Voice of Doom continues “Test what they believe … the toughest case of the season”, as Chi-Chi wants to go to Plan B, and Luka with the short hair again says “No, no, too dangerous”; “In a powerful night of ER” … and Abby, fiddling with a scope bitches “Oh, come on!” … “All new, next Thursday”. And let’s hope this promo is a little more realistic as to what’s actually happening on the show than the one for this week, which had me worried all week about the Lukaby, only to have that story be wrapped up in the first 20 minutes. Hell, Neela’s cookies had more screentime, but you didn’t hear the Vapid Voiceover verbalizing: “And what if you were expected to … but didn’t know … how to bake?”