Thursday, October 12, 2006

ER. 13.2 Graduation Day

Flashy graphics … drums of hell beating … and Maura Tierney telling us …

“Previously on ER” … Paramedic Tony Gates, aka John Stamos, aka Uncle Jesse from Full House flirts shamelessly with Neela on her ride-along in an effort to prove that he’s a good guy by telling her that not only could she play with the sirens and everything on the rig, but he was also going to buy her a cup of coffee … what a guy …; Abby bitches that she has two and a half months left and “this baby isn’t coming until then” while Luka looks on, silently praying for an end to hellacious hormonal continuous kvetching; Luka tells a concerned Coburn that Abby just experienced a “sharp pain” and “gush of blood”; Coburn says they’re going to the OR as we get a shot of Abby, all decked out in proper attire for her trip to surgery; the Lukaby is born and ain’t doing too well while Gratuitous Pedes People work on him; Luka is in the washroom ignoring the “STOP: Combined Precautions” sign and choosing to cry uncontrollably instead; Coburn tells Abby they can keep waiting for her to clot or they can start thinking about a hysterectomy, as Abby shows her solidarity with Luka by ignoring all precautions and sobbing, too; New Alex drones to Sam what I think is “Is Dad going to hurt us?”, but might have been “I’m mad because my skirt’s bust”; Sleaze tells Sam that the three of them have to stay together or he’d rather they were all dead, and Sam is so liking that latter idea that she grabs his gun and blows him away.

Sam and Newlex are rockin’ down the highway. Newlex is leaning on his fist, trying to punch some sense into himself. He looks over at Sam, who is lost in thought, probably wondering why she’s still on this show after being in an Academy Award-winning film. Camera zooms in on Sam, who is so preoccupied with writing an acceptance speech for the nominations that are sure to flow in after Scooby Doo 3 is released, that she almost crashes into the side of a tow truck. Newlex, the most animated we’ve ever seen him, probably because he’s in danger of having what little brains he has splattered on the road, shouts “Whoa!”, as the truck honks its horn and Sam awakes from her daydream in time to desperately turn the wheel to avoid the collision and drive off the road. Last year she annihilated an antelope, this year she almost rubs out the repo man. Why is this woman still allowed a license? Sam’s scared shitless by what just happened … literally … while Newlex stared, witless.

We hear Sam in voiceover say “I’m losing it. I can’t even drive”, and duh, Sam, you obviously never could, (re: above paragraph and said victimized venison), so the “losing it” is no new thing. We see her on a payphone outside a diner. She tells the person on the phone “you’re the only person I could think of to call”. Oooooh … I wonder who it is? … Her agent, so she can kick his ass for not even getting her an audition for that Marie Antoinette movie? Or even the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre film? … Or could it be an acting coach for Newlex? … Maybe it’s his “real” father’s family, because I’m thinking Newlex’ acting ability is eerily reminiscent of another character who used to be on this show … No, I don’t mean Carter … But one who sprouted leaves in the Spring … You know, Neela’s dead husband, Michael Gallant, the soldier-doctor formerly known as Plank, now known as Deadwood. Because the woodenness and monotonic speech patterns are a dead giveaway … So, the acorn really doesn’t fall far from the tree, and Newlex truly is a chip off the old block … or Splinter off the old Plank, as it were. Sam’s on the verge of hysteria and says that she doesn’t really know where they are and guesses somewhere close to Waheegan. She’s says there’s a “Phillips Diner” and a gas station, as Splinter pines. Sam says “thanks” and asks whoever it is to hurry up then hangs up the phone. She puts her hand over her mouth, trying to keep her emotions in check so as not to shake Splinter’s branches. She pulls herself together and looks over at Splinter in the SUV. Splinter looks away from her, emoting … Wait, that’s not right … I think he’s actually e-molting …

Dr. Rabb, who was Abby’s Attending when she did her NICU rotation, is explaining a bunch of stuff that all preemies have to Luka and Abby. Abby is in a wheelchair. Dr. Rabb says that all preemies have the same five problems: infection, hypotension, hypoglycemia, tachypnea (which is abnormally fast breathing), cyanosis (which is a bluish color to the skin due to insufficient oxygen in the blood). She tells them that their “guy”, baby Joe Kovac, aka Mongo Joe, after Luka’s funny fictionalized version of his father’s name, or MoJo for short, has four out of five. Rabb says that MoJo’s white count is up and he’s on dopa and dobutamine and they are needing higher pressures to ventilate. Luka, with his hand on Abby’s shoulder, asks “How high?” … and looking at you in the Luka Blue scrubs, I’m quite high, thank you, Luka. Yum. Rabb tells them it’s at 32. Abby thinks they’re pummeling MoJo’s lungs and he’s going to get BPD, which is bronchopulmonary dysplasia, or chronic lung disease. Thank you, kidshealth.org. Rabb levels with Luka and Abby that it’s hard enough being a parent in the NICU, and that they are going to have to trust her to do what’s best for their son, as Abby worriedly watches MoJo’s chest rising and falling, and Luka rubs her shoulder, comfortingly. Rabb asks Abby if she has any questions, and Abby finally tears her tearful gaze away from MoJo to shake her head and quietly say “no” before looking back at the baby adding, “I’ve been here before”. Rabb nods and walks off as Luka rubs his forehead and watches her leave before pulling up a stool and sitting next to Abby. He takes her right hand in both of his and asks if she wants him to wheel her back to her room. She shakes her head “no” squeezing his hands with her right and wiping the tears from her eyes with her left. He reminds her that she shouldn’t stay out of bed that long, as not listening, she disgustedly says “You know, I’ve given that ‘watch and wait’ speech about a hundred times and never realized what a load of crap it is”. Luka nods and gently tells her “Well, that’s just the reality” as he continues to hold her hand. She sighs, then complains “And I can’t shut my brain off and I keep thinking ‘Why is the dopa at 17 and not 20’ and ‘Did they check the tube position’ and …” as Luka rests his mouth against his the knuckles of his right hand and grips her hand tighter with his left. Both are watching MoJo. Abby says sadly, “I can’t see his eyes. I’d like to know what color they are”. Luka again takes their clasped hands in his right and smiles at her, saying “They’re blue”. She turns to look at him, bending her head towards him and smiling as he shrugs and chuckles, because he knows that a layette set in the complete line of Luka Blues will bring out MoJo’s eyes quite nicely. He kisses her hand then leans his head down to rest on their joined hands. Awww ... That’s sweet ... Bitch ... Abby looks back over at MoJo and looking at her, Luka tells her that Neela asked him if she can come visit. Abby shakes her head and looking down says that she doesn’t want any visitors. As Luka kisses her hand again (bitch) she adds that she doesn’t want to see anybody. As if on cue … well, actually since this isn’t real life, it is “on cue” … we hear a very familiar female voice call out “Abby!”, who startles and looks over and Luka’s eyes get wide as we see … uh oh … Here comes trouble, in the form of Sally Field, aka the Flying Nun, aka Gidget, aka Norma Rae, aka Sybil, aka Mrs. Gump, but better known here as Manic Maggie, Abby’s bipolar mom, rushing over, carrying a suitcase, and a box of choc-o-lates, cause you never know what you’re gonna get. Though I guess now that she’s actually treating her condition, I guess I should call her Medicated Maggie, or Meds for short. How did she get in there? What happened to the buzzing in they had to do when Abby and Neela were on their rotation? The Continuity Supervisor on this show is obviously on drugs … and if so, give me some. Meds Maggie tries to catch her breath from her hurrying and with hand on her heart exclaims “Abby! Oh … thank God …” and smiling says “I came as soon as I heard”. Abby and Luka stare at her for a second, before Abby glances over at Luka, who purses his lips and looks down with a “great … just what we need…” expression. Abby turns back to look at Maggie with a “please tell me this isn’t happening” face … as we move into the keyboard driven, snazzy new “ER” “emergency room” graphic montage …

As the actor credits start rolling, Sam is Standing outside the diner with her rich guy/Sugar Daddy boss, Richard, played by the Mambo King himself, Armand Assante, in all his low-talking glory. Guess we know who she called. Though I really think she should have called her agent … looks like Uncle Jesse’s jumped ahead of her in the credits. But he’s still behind my girl Neela … so all is well. The Mambo Mumbler is telling Sam that she’s not running. She thinks they’ll send her to jail. Mambo scoffs that she killed a scumbag who’s better off dead. Sam admits that she was in the car and could have driven away, but she went back to kill him. Mambo insists that’s the last time she is ever going to say that. He tells her that the only two people who know are them. He says that she’s going to fill out a rape report, as Linda Cardellini’s name appears right under her chin … Hee … He mutters that she shot Sleaze in self-defense as Sam does the Botox-inducing scowl and asks him if he thinks that will work. One of these days, Linda, you’re no longer going to have bounce-back elasticity in your face and don’t say I didn’t warn you repeatedly about the dangers of courting the forehead perma-crease. Mambo Mumbler mumbles “That’s what happened. You understand?”, trying to make her realize that in order to get away with slaying the slime, she has to believe that. Splinter is watching all this in the side mirror of the SUV. At least I think he’s watching … he may just be photosynthesizing …

Weaver is giving Haleh some orders at the counter as Ray comes over and asks if there’s been any word on Sam. Weaver tells him that the police are still looking for her. Frank shows Weaver some paint sample brochure and asks if she wants the walls eggshell or white. Weaver wants to know if she looks like Martha Stewart. Hee. And if that’s the type of opinion you want, Frank, you be best off waiting for Luka. Though considering the mustard-y yellow moulding he was doing in MoJo’s room, the domestic goddess repertoire he picked up from Martha must be limited to napkin-folding and table-setting. Weaver bitches that she’s the Chief of Staff and she has better things to do and walks off. Ray wants to know what’s with her and Frank guess that she has to pay for the repairs out of her Christmas bonus. Ray thinks that’s a gyp because he got screwed out of Luka’s Christmas bonus offer to the residents of time off with pay because he couldn’t see Neela’s paper covering his rock coming a mile away. And I should amend that offer was to all the residents except Abby, though the “screwed” and the “Luka’s Christmas bonus” is probably applicable to her anyway.

Pratt comes over to Ray complaining about some problem with what he wrote on one of his charts. They’re standing in the hall bitching and wake up Neela, who’s asleep in an Exam Room. After Ray walks away, Pratt sees Neela and opens the door. She asks him what time it is and he tells her that it’s time to go home and she’s been there all night. She wants to go check on Abby but Pratt thinks she should go get some rest. He thinks Deadwood’s parents will probably want to see her today, but she groans that she’s not going over there. Pratt tells her again to go home and leaves as she rubs her eyes, trying to wake up.

Generic NICU Resident is updating Rabb about MoJo, as Abby, still in her wheelchair, eyes them up, and Luka and Meds Maggie hover over MoJo’s incubator. Generic tells Rabb that the dope is at 17, dobutamine is hanging around 25, and “two out of six systolic injection murmur on exam”. Meds asks him to translate that into English, but Abby tells her to wait and hold on, then questions Generic worriedly that there’s a murmur. Meds seems to be holding a small writing pad in her left hand. Rabb calls for an echo and wants to take a look. Meds Maggie is confused and tells Abby that she doesn’t understand any of this. Abby reassures her that she’ll explain it to her later and Luka watches and chews on his right thumbnail. And I can think of something tastier for you to chew on, Luka. Just saying. Listening to MoJo’s heart, Rabb tells Meds Maggie that her daughter was a star student when she was there. Meds Maggie looks at Abby and says that she never gives herself any credit. That’s okay, Meds, because everyone else does it for her. Case in point, Rabb expounds “Well, the good ones never do” as she places the ultrasound wand over MoJo’s chest. And we get a good look at the top of MoJo’s head, which is surprisingly hairless, considering the shock of dark hair he had in the video Luka showed Abby last week. I’m starting to get a sinking feeling … and a sickening vision … of a rapidly receding hairline located just inches above a permanently secured smirk … Ugh … Please don’t tell me we’re going to be seeing headlines like “Super Smirky Sperm Spans Subcontinents to Supplant Slavic Sex Surrogate and Smugly Sire Superior Spawn” … because just … Ewww … We hear the whoosh whoosh whooshing of the heartbeat and Meds comes over to the machine and asks if that’s the heart, and is captivated by the image of the beating. Luka takes this opportunity to lean over Abby and preemptively explain in case Abby goes bat shit, “I didn’t tell her to come”. But Abby assures him it’s okay. He asks if she’s sure and she is, shrugging “It seems like she’s on her meds” … hence, the nickname I gave her, Abby. Do try to keep up. Neela comes in with a carrier of take-out coffees and a bag full of food. She says hi and they greet her, then Luka moves off, letting Neela come up next to Abby. Neela tells Abby that she knows they can’t eat in there, but maybe she can take a break in the hall. Abby shakes her head. Hey, I’ll take one if you’re offering, my caffeine addiction needs a little feeding … and I won’t be so ungrateful, Neela. Neela wants to know how MoJo is doing, but Abby shrugs and says they don’t know. Neela asks her how she is, and Abby quickly says that she’s okay as we hear Meds Maggie pestering Rabb about all the ventricles and every little thing on the ultrasound, as Rabb nods tolerantly. Neela spots her and asks Abby who she is. Abby smiles and acknowledges purposely “my mother”. Neela grins knowingly and Abby calls over to Meds to come meet her friend. Neela extends her hand and Meds shakes it, introducing herself. Neela reciprocates and tells Meds that she’s heard a lot about her. Oh, I just bet you have, Neela. Rabb tells Generic “Mostly right to left TR jets 3.4”. Meds asks what TR jets are, and Abby translates that it’s blood flowing the wrong way through the heart. Neela murmurs to Luka “Couldn’t it just be the pulmonary pressures haven’t dropped yet?”, as Luka chews on his fist … again, tastier things, Luka … keep it mind … He replies that it’s probably elevated from the RDS. Meds wants clarification “Wait a minute … you’re saying there’s something wrong with the baby’s heart?” Abby tells her that they don’t know. That doesn’t pacify Meds, who’s a little upset and wants to know if they’re going to fix it. Abby responds that they can’t “just fix it” and explains to her that MoJo is premature and he’s going to be in the NICU for weeks. Getting it, Meds is a little placated and says “Oh … Alright then … we’ll just wait”. Abby shakes her head a little and exchanges a look with Luka, who’s pursing his lips as we hear Meds keep repeating “We’ll just wait”.

Uncle Jesse and a rather large bald paramedic are bringing in some yelling guy wrapped in tinfoil who fell twenty feet while scaling Tribune Tower as Weaver and Pratt come over. Uncle Jesse quips that Tinfoil apparently gets better reception up there. Tinfoil’s bitching that cell phones are just a cover. Before I can, Pratt asks what’s up with the tinfoil. Thanks, Pratt. Uncle Jess explains that it amplifies the frequency bands allocated to the US government. Tinfoil is even wearing foil Christmas tree garland around his head, like a crown. He’s conspiracy theory-ing all over Uncle Jesse and Pratt, but I’m bored with the nonsensical ravings of this particular lunatic mind, so I’m not really paying attention. Weaver’s asking for the vitals and Bald Paramedic fills her in. Neela passes them in the Ambulance Bay and Uncle Jesse says “Hey, MayDay. Heard about yesterday … Glad to see you’re okay”. Neela turns around and acknowledges him with a sort of sarcastic “Yeah”, before turning back and heading away. They keep walking Tinfoil into the ER and Uncle Jesse wants to know what’s up with Neela. Pratt and Weaver shoot him dirty looks. Uncle Jesse doesn’t understand and questions “What?” Pratt fills him in on the wood chipping in Iraq. Uncle Jesse asks if they’re kidding him, and Weaver asks pointedly “Do you think we’d joke about that?” Duh, Uncle Jesse. Starting off as a moron in your first scene as a regular is not a good sign. Mercy. Tinfoil is blathering about seizing control of search engines and thrashes around screaming that he has to go, as Pratt, Uncle Jesse and Weaver try to subdue him and tell him to let them check him out. Pratt looks over and spots Sam moping in. Weaver asks him if he’s got this, and rushes over to Sam.

Weaver hugs Sam and asks if she’s alright. Sam half-heartedly returns it and says she is, as we hear Tinfoil bitching all the way down the hall. Shut the hell up, Tinfoil. You can easily be replaced by Plastic Wrap, you know. Weaver pulls back and asks Sam how she got there. Sam explains that “a friend” dropped her off. Hesitating a moment, she sadly tells Weaver that she needs a rape exam. Weaver looks stricken, then hugs her, sympathetically, as Sam channels her son and looks off, expressionless.

Meds Maggie is pacing around MoJo’s incubator, asking questions and taking notes as Generic Pedes Resident is performing a procedure on MoJo. Rabb tells her that it’s a PIC line and it allows them to give nutrition and medicines without sticking the baby. Generic bitches that the line is “kinking or something”. Luka is standing by watching, with his hands on his hips and looking like he’s trying to resist the urge to pace himself. Abby is still in her wheelchair. Meds butts in that maybe Generic should let Dr. Rabb do that. Not taking her eyes off of MoJo, Abby, holds up her hand gently towards her mom in a sort of “hold on, let them do their job” gesture. Rabb asks Meds to step back because she’s just making it harder for Generic. Abby reassures Generic that he’s doing fine as Luka chews on his knuckles again. Really, come on now, Luka … the offer still stands … Just saying … Meds complains condescendingly to Abby in what should be sotto voce, but is loud enough for Rabb and Generic to hear “You don’t want med students working on your son”. Luka explains that Generic is a Resident, not a student, but Meds waves her hand like that’s just semantics, totally forgetting that her daughter is just a Resident, too … Though she is “Abby” after all … An alarm starts beepin’, Meds starts freakin’, “What’s that?” Rabb and the Resident look back at the monitor and Rabb says it’s PVC’s and that the tip of the catheter is “tickling” the heart. Yikes. Don’t know that I’d be referring to any instrument touching my or especially my child’s heart as “tickling”, Rabb, ‘cause it sure ain’t funny. Abby grimaces like she really doesn’t want to say what she’s about to, then apologizes like she doesn’t want to be a nervous mother questioning every little thing “I’m sorry … I’m really sorry … But you pulled back the line, right?” Rabb stares at her and patronizingly responds “Of course he did, Abby”. Abby looks a little chastened. Meds starts writing and muttering “pulled back the line”. She looks at the clock and writes and comments “Alright, 2:37 … PVC’s”. Abby wants to know what’s the deal with the notes. Meds says that she’s writing everything down so she can look it up later on. Luka rolls his eyes at this and turns away. Hee. Meds continues that last night she was reading about smoking and prematurity. Uh oh. This gets Abby’s attention and she looks at Meds and declares “I quit two years ago”. Really, Abby? I agree that it’s been a while since we’ve seen you light up, but I remember that you were still smoking when you basically kicked Neela out of your apartment after your abduction. And that wasn’t quite two years ago. Though I’ll let it slide because I’m guessing “two years ago” is a lot easier to say than “one and three-quarters years ago”. Meds says that she’s knows Abby did, but then goes on that Abby works so hard and that stress can definitely be a factor, as Abby looks at her incredulously and stung, asks “Are you blaming this … on … me?” Meds backpedals and says that of course she’s not, but she so is. Real nice, Meds. Meds tries to explain that she’s not blaming anyone but “my grandson is on a … a …” and Abby, still looking hurt, supplies “ventilator”. Meds continues, trying to get a grasp on it “ … Ventilator. And I need to understand why …” Luka, who’s had enough, jumps in and states definitively, “Maggie, she fell. People were shooting and she fell. Okay?” This shuts Meds up as she looks at him, then over at Abby, who, still pained, is eyeing her speculatively, almost as if she thinks Meds might not really believe what Luka said. Rabb breaks up this dysfunctional family moment to act like the voice of reason and expound that they can ask themselves why all day long, but in the end, the answer doesn’t matter. That’s actually not very helpful, Rabb. A perky person in baby footprint-ed scrubs interrupts and tells Abby that they are about to start the lactation seminar in the Pump Room. Abby looks so thrilled and just stares at her. Perky Pump Person gets flustered and stutters “If … it’s not a good time?” Abby looks away and seeing an opportunity to escape, shakes her head slightly and says “No … it sounds great” as she glances up and sort of grins at Luka. Meds pounces and says that she’ll go with her, and moves behind her to push the wheelchair as Abby nods a little, chews on her lips and shares a sarcastic “Great!” look with Luka, who raises his eyebrows at her in sympathy. Hee. Maggie pushes Abby out of the room as Luka watches them go. He stands with his hands on his hips for a second, lost in thought, before moving closer to MoJo’s incubator. He sticks his right pinky in MoJo’s left hand and starts talking quietly to him, “Hey, Joe” … before continuing comfortingly in Croatian. Awww. So sweet.

Abby and Meds Maggie are obviously in the “Pump Room” as Abby is sitting there with the medieval milking machine torture device that stimulates breast milk production while simultaneously performing unnatural acts of nipple contortion. Abby pushes the button and we hear the witchy whirring noise that painfully permeated my previously promised pleasant postnatal period. Abby and Meds look skeptical and share an “um, okay” look before Abby turns the machine back off. Abby looks up and sighs, as Perky Pump Person comes over and unnecessarily explains what she’s supposed to do with the funnel-looking milk collectors by picking one up and saying “These go between the boob … and the tube”. Ugh. You already needed to be smacked just for being perky, Perky. Adding annoying is not doing you any favors. She asks Abby if she knows what she means. Not looking at her, Abby nods “Mm hmm” before adding in a wry tone “It’s pretty self-explanatory”, and Meds stifles a grin. Perky thinks Abby seems hesitant and Meds admits “She is”, nodding encouragingly at Abby. Perky unnecessarily adds that breast milk is best “for baby”. Meds condescends that Abby knows that, she’s a doctor. Trying to be nice, but unmistakably dismissing Perky, Abby says that she thinks she just needs a little privacy and takes back the funnel-thing Perky had picked up. Perky hands it back and fake-smiles, telling Abby she’ll get her a screen. Meds comments that Perky seems nice and looking down, Abby half-heartedly says “yeah”. Abby looks up, cocks her head grinning a little and narrowing her eyes at Meds, adding “You, too”. Meds doesn’t get it, so Abby says “I need you to …” and inclines her head towards the door. Meds “Oh, Abby” ‘s her and says that she’s been through all of this before. Abby shakes her head at her and says she doesn’t think so. Meds insists she has. Trying to keep her tone light, Abby asks “Have you had a c-section, hysterectomy and a premature baby?” Meds admits “no” and stammers that she hasn’t and Abby smartasses “I didn’t think so”. Meds tries to protest and Abby cuts her off grinning but clearly wanting to be left alone, “Look … I just … I’ll meet you outside”. Meds again tries to interject, but Abby, still grinning but making it clear that resistance is futile, purposely tells her “I’d like to meet you outside”. Meds relents “Alright”, to which Abby replies “Fine”, and Meds retorts “Fine … I’ll meet you outside”. Abby decisively thanks her, and Meds nods, dismissed. She gets up and goes, leaving Abby to wince about possibly hurting Meds feelings, then roll her eyes. I think Abby’s been showing some remarkable restraint with Meds Maggie since she’s arrived. Meds is being a bit overbearing and a lot annoying, and Abby seems to really be trying to not let her mom get to her. Kicking her out of the pump room was probably her way of ensuring that it wouldn’t escalate into them fighting. Besides, beginning breastfeeders baring boobs before bunches of bustling baby-mamma’s breeds bashfulness.

Sam’s got her feet in the stirrups and Weaver is performing a pelvic while Haleh assists. Sam wants to know if Abby and Luka had a boy or a girl. Weaver tells her “a boy” and that he’s in the NICU. Sam then asks about Jerry, but she really doesn’t sound interested. Sam’s acting a bit detached. Weaver explains that Jerry was shot through the chest, but he’s pulling through. Now if Sam knows that Abby went into labor and that Jerry was hurt, wouldn’t she already know that he’d been shot, Weaver? Annoying. Weaver tells Haleh to send off the samples for HIV and hepatitis, as Sam stares at the ceiling. Haleh asks Sam if she can get her some water, but Sam says she’s okay and thanks her. Sounding kind of drugged, Sam concedes that she knew Sleaze stole stuff but never thought he’d be capable of anything like this. But last week you said that you realized that it was “always in the cards” that Sleaze would turn out exactly like he did, so which is it, Sam? Weaver gently assures her that it’s not her fault but Sam says it feel like it. Yeah, and if you had left when I first wanted you to Sam, which was pretty much your first episode, none of this would have happened, Luka might not have been emasculated for the year or so you were together, and the kid who plays Splinter would be branching out, practicing his single line “Would you like fries with that?” on a daily basis, rather than cluttering up my TV screen. Weaver insists it’s not, but Sam’s not convinced. Weaver asks if she knows where Sleaze and the others are, and did they catch them. Sam sits up and tonelessly admits “they’re dead”. Weaver and Haleh are surprised and Weaver clarifies “All of them?”, to which Sam nods and replies “All of them”.

After break, caption tells us it’s “One Week Later” and Uncle Jesse and Zadro the paramedic are running in the rain to some guy lying on his side on the ground. Uncle Jesse doesn’t think it’s a good place to take a nap and tells the guy that he could drown out there, but the guy is unresponsive and muttering. Zadro’s rubbing Rain Man’s arm and tells Uncle Jesse there’s no way they’re getting a line in. Uncle Jesse going to do something that Zadro’s skeptical about, but Uncle Jesse thinks he knows all because he just spent a month in the ICU, and I’m guessing he means on his med school rotation, since we know from his appearances last year that he’s a fourth year med student, and not that as a patient. I didn’t catch what it is they’re talking about because of all the rain and background noise, and frankly, I don’t really care. Uncle Jesse’s already annoying me. He says to Rain Man that it looks like he got himself a bad batch of heroin and how he hates when that happens. Oh, Uncle Jesse, you’re so humorous and with-it. Except, not. I get that we’re supposed to think he’s all funny and charming, but it just ain’t working for me. It ain’t working for Zadro either, who tells him it’s not funny. Uncle Jesse opens Rain Man’s mouth telling him to “Say Ah”, which is just so hilarious to say to an unconscious patient, then injects something into the guy’s cheek. Zadro wants to know what the hell that was and Uncle Jesse tells him “Narcan”. Zadro doesn’t think they’re authorized for that and Uncle Jesse pretends not to hear him. So they’re not allowed to use it, so they’re not supposed to have it, so where did Uncle Jesse get it? And does he just carry syringes of the stuff around with him? Ridiculous. And again, annoying. Zadro bitches that it’s not in their scope and Uncle Jesse calls in to County.

Pratt answers the com. Luka is standing by an upright melamine board that I guess they’re using as a temporary replacement for the transparent wipe board that got wiped out in the OK Corral gunfight. Luka’s running through the patients “Electrocuted juggler … self-inflicted toe amputation … kerosene injestion … What? What is this?” Hee. I never realized how cute bitching could be … Frank says that people will do anything to stay out of the rain. Luka keeps complaining that they’ve got three near drownings at a homeless shelter and the board hasn’t changed in over an hour. Now Pratt is bitching, but somehow it’s just doesn’t have the same cuteness effect without the Croatian accent … Pratt is telling Uncle Jesse that he can’t put in an “EJ” and Uncle Jesse wants to know why not. Pratt tells him that it’s out of his scope of practice, as Luka turns to listen to this. Uncle Jesse says that he’s ten minutes out and Pratt pissily tells him he’ll see him then. Luka wants to know what that was about and Pratt tell him they have an unresponsive ten minutes out with “one cocky-ass paramedic”.

Uncle Jesse lies to Zadro and says that the ER okay’ed the EJ. Nice, Uncle Jesse. But since this is your first full-time ep and we’re supposed to be all impressed with you, I’m guessing this won’t come back to bite you in the ass. Wait until you’ve been around a little while. Since you’re not Abby, your actions will eventually have consequences. Zadro doesn’t exactly believe him, but Uncle Jesse insists that they know him there and they trust him. Then Uncle Jesse adds “unlike my partner”. Zadro tells him that if he’s lying “I promise you, I’ll sell you out”. Hee. Good for you, Zadro. But you don’t understand that Uncle Jesse’s main cast now, we’re apparently supposed to be bowled over by him, so your stand taking isn’t going to do jack, Zadro.

As we hear thunder claps from the storm outside, Luka struts into the NICU and smiles at Abby asking “How’s my boy?” Awww. Abby smiles back at him as Meds fills him in that MoJo is “hanging in there”. Meds tells Luka that she’s been reading to him all morning and she swears that he recognizes her voice. Abby and Luka give her “yeah, that’s nice” smiles, then go back to ignoring her. Looking concerned, Abby tells Luka that the vent wean isn’t working out and they cranked the O2 up to 78. Rabb comes in and bitches at Luka to take his labcoat off because they don’t need the nasty ER bugs in the NICU. Luka apologizes and complies, a little shamefaced, as Abby watches him, a bit amused. Rabb asks them if they’ve made a decision about the fludrosalone trial yet. Abby says “yeah” at the same time Luka says “no”. Luka looks at Abby as Meds tries to pronounce the drug name, fucks it up, and Luka says it, and very sexily, too, because he’s Luka and there’s no other way he can say it, explains that it’s a new drug they’re studying for use in persistent hypotension. He looks at Abby questioningly, because apparently she still hasn’t given him his balls back from last season, so he wasn’t in on the decision-making. Rabb states that MoJo is over 1500 grams as Abby and Luka stare at each other. Rabb starts to continue that “he’s a …” and Abby says over her “perfect fit for your trial”, then tells her that they know. Rabb looks back and forth between them, and Luka tells her that they are still making the decision, as Abby interrupts spouting off the potential complications to him “Spontaneous intestinal perf, bleeding, neuro-developmental delays ...” Rabb chimes in to remind her that those are theoretical risks. Abby’s getting pissed and turns to Luka insisting “I don’t want to subject our child to an experimental protocol when we haven’t exhausted all of the standard …” as a frustrated Luka jumps in “Because he still doesn’t have an adequate blood pressure”. Abby retorts “Yes, but why just dopamine? Why not dobutamine and … and … epi infusion?”, as Meds admonishes her “Don’t micro-manage”. Abby gets her finger all in Meds’ face warning her “Don’t you …” as Meds backs off “I … I won’t”, and Abby stares her down, pointing at her threateningly again, “Don’t”, then holding up her hand to stifle anything else Meds might try to say. Rabb’s hightailing it out of there before the bloodbath starts, saying “Why don’t I just leave the consent form just in case you change your mind” and excuses herself, as Abby looks off with her arms crossed in front of her and Luka again gnaws on his knuckles. This is becoming quite the bad habit, Luka. We need to break you of that, you naughty, naughty boy … As Rabb walks out, Luka tells Abby that she’s just trying to give MoJo the best possible chance. Abby bitches that from the second they walked in there Rabb’s been pushing this trial. Luka thinks that’s ridiculous. Abby asks even more pissily “Is it?” Luka responds “Why do you always have to assume the worst about people?” Ooh, Luka … I’m guessing that wasn’t such a good thing to say as Abby comes back at him “It’s not about me being negative”, then stutters “It’s … you need to pay attention and wake up. This is our baby”. Uh oh. So not nice, Abby. Luka can’t believe she said that any more than I can. Stung, he looks disbelievingly from her to Meds, then turns without saying a word. He angrily smacks the door-opening button and storms out. Abby says “Hey”, but not turning back, he just raises his hand dismissively to her and keeps walking. She calls out “Luka” and starts to follow him, but Meds stops her, saying her name. Should have known when you wore that shirt today instead of one of your yummy Luka Blues that this day would turn out as shitty as its muddy brown color, Luka. And your hair’s looking a little unkempt. I’m guessing Abby’s probably still medically restricted from the Hair Salon, so the supplies must be in need of some serious restocking, which isn’t going to do much to improve either of your moods … not to mention your hair ... because Abby’s is looking a bit straggly at the ‘mo, too. Abby whips around griping “Can you believe him?” Meds apprehensively, because she knows she’s on the verge of a smackdown, tells Abby, “I … I think he’s right”. Abby can’t believe her now, looking a bit stunned that her mom doesn’t agree with her, opens her mouth to say something, but then just shakes her head and turns away before bitching “You don’t really know the first thing about it”. Meds plunges in and tries to tell her that maybe this new drug will turn everything around, and she knows it’s tough, but she thinks they have to consider it and that sometimes you just have to use your instincts and … Abby cannot take it anymore and holds her hands up in front of her demanding “Shut up! Shut up! Please just shut up!” She continues to hold her hands up in the “just stop it” gesture, as Meds stares at her. Abby then nastily says that she didn’t ask Meds to come here, and she didn’t ask her to be involved, and maybe she should just leave. Meds gapes at her, then obliges, “Okay”. They just look at each other for a moment, before Abby gives an “okay then” type nod, then turns and exits through the same doors Luka did. Thunder claps again as Meds watches her walk away, looking hurt and a little sad.

Pratt comes up to Admit and asks Nurse Dorie to check on when the lab runs some type of tests as Morris, flounces over, outfitted in peacock purple under his black suit and positing “Every day but Tuesday and Sunday”. Is that a declaration of idiocy, declaring how often you prance about on my last nerve, Morris? Because really, you’re selling yourself a bit short there … And what’s he doing there anyway? I thought I called “no more Morris materializing” after his last ER rotation … What a gyp … Frank wants to know if he mugged a pimp and Morris retorts “Yeah, your dad says ‘hi’ “ … Hee … Pratt chuckles and Sam, who is standing at a computer behind Morris, looks as thrilled to see him as I him. Morris wants to know how they are all surviving without him and I’m thinking you should leave, because I’d really like to get back to discovering the answer to that question on my own, Morris. I believe I may have an inkling as to what the answer might be … Sam replies sarcastically “Just fine … hard as it is to believe”. Morris brags how he got six hospitals to add Maxanox to their formulary and now they are sending him to Vegas. “Permanently?”, I ask hopefully, perking up considerably at the possibility …But, no, I probably don’t have that kind of luck … Pratt nods appreciatively saying that “Vegas is sweet”. Dorie tells Morris he can put a bet down for her … and I’m betting that you should probably take advantage of your appearance in this scene, Dorie, because I’m sure there will be a multitude of eps between now and the next time you are on this show. Sam gives Pratt a chart asking for consent, and Dorie gives him another one for something or other that has to be done before Sam’s thingy. Morris asks Pratt if he needs any help, but Pratt thinks it’s nothing he can’t handle. Morris levels with him that he doesn’t just mean today, then says he wants his job back. Noooooooooooooooo! I finally got rid of your sorry ass, Morris and now you want to subject me to you all over again?!?! Sam looks as thrilled as I am and asks “What happened to Vegas?” Yeah, Morris, that was an awfully short imaginary trip. Morris scoffs “Vegas? Do I look like Vegas?” Well, in the lavender and violet you got on … yeah, you kind of do, Morris. Sam agrees with me. Morris says that he hates Vegas, then asks for Weaver, bitching that she’s ignoring his calls. Hee. You go, Kerry. Pratt says that Weaver is busy with some Admin stuff as Uncle Jesse and Zadro bring in Rain Man.

Zadro gives the bullet that Rain Man is a 19 year old male found in an alley, probable overdose. As Sam and Pratt come over, Uncle Jesse gives the vitals, adding “after a liter in and the EJ”. Pratt can’t believe Uncle Jesse did the EJ anyway after he told him not to. Zadro’s pissed and looks at Uncle Jesse and says “You’re dead”. Uncle Jesse thinks that it’s flowing great and they ought to thank him, but Pratt thinks he ought to report him.

Anspaugh, some suits and Weaver are meeting discussing Luka … and that’s one of my favorite topics, too, Anspaugh. Except Anspaugh’s bitching about Luka. Don’t make me hurt you, Donald. He clarifies with Weaver that Luka was running the floor when Victor Clemente, Attending, aka John Leguizamo, aka Chi-Chi Rodriguez from Too Wong Foo had his meltdown. Weaver concedes that he was. Anspaugh asks rhetorically if Luka was there the day Chi-Chi and his white trash girlfriend Jodie, who reminded me of Cha-Cha DiGregorio, the best dancer with the worst reputation at St. Bernadette’s from Grease, were brought in with multiple gunshot wounds. Weaver covers saying that she believes so but has to check the schedule, as a raspy-voiced suit woman says that he was. Anspaugh states that Luka was also there the day he signed off on the diabetic whose family is now bringing a multi-million dollar lawsuit against the hospital. Weaver wants to know where Anspaugh is going with this. Anspaugh’s drawn up a Press Release announcing Luka’s dismissal. Yikes! Now? After everything he’s just gone through, and is still going through, you’re going to take away his job, too? That’s it … your ass is so mine now, Anspaugh. Asshole. Weaver asks incredulously “You’re firing, him?” Uh, duh, Kerry. That’s usually what “dismissal” means in a workplace environment. Maybe you need a brain replacement to go along with the hip you had done. Raspy thinks there was negligent management. Okay, you just made the list, too, Raspy. Bitch. Weaver protests “Shouldn’t we give him a chance to defend himself?” Anspaugh think it’s too late for that. Really? Why? Because this ep is just about half over and you need to shit on Luka since there’s not much time left? Ridiculous. Anspaugh wants everyone to look over the release before he sends it out. It sounds right to everyone and “works” for Raspy. Bitch. Weaver protests that she is the one who hired Chi-Chi. Anspaugh pointedly tells her that she didn’t keep him there, and reminds her that she said that she warned Luka to get rid of Chi-Chi and he ignored her. Weaver looks down, considering, then looks back up at Anspaugh and admits “That’s not how it happened”, as she and Anspaugh eye each other, then understanding passes between them. What??? Weaver is actually going to take responsibility for one of her fuck-ups? Since when? Does this mean you’ll own up to all your past wrongs, Weaver and hire Malucci back? Really, if we’re going to have a cocky asshole on the show, I’d rather it be decorative and dreamy Doctor Dave than untalented and uninteresting Uncle Jesse … Wow … I’m shocked … actual character growth … Too bad Carter’s not around to learn from this … And as a point of clarification, that was so not an invitation to revisit Puff Smirky, ER writers … Ugh …

Weaver bursts out of the Conference Room, hurriedly. Morris, who was lurking outside, rushes to catch up with her, and she tells him “Not now”. Morris blathers about getting her to rehire him, lying unbelievably that he’s “efficient” and “personable” but Weaver obviously isn’t paying attention, so completely lost in the thoughts racing through her head to scoff at his delusions. She keeps hastening down the hallway, again telling him “I said ‘not now’ “ … But he doesn’t shut up and keeps up with her, spouting off nonsense about how Jerry would be “rappin’ with Tupac” right now if either Ray or Abby had treated him … Nice, Morris. Besides the fact that Ray was in on treating Jerry, please, oh please say that again to Abby’s face so I can watch her go bitchcakes on you … Good times. Weaver tells him that she can’t help him and keeps going. He keeps going too, getting more and more outrageous with his claims saying that he knows he looks good in a suit and that he’s “not an ass-kissing company man”, and Weaver really needs to call for a Psych consult right about now. But then Morris finally decides that maybe he should tell the truth and declares “I’m an ass-kissing ER man” and he wants his scrubs back. Frustrated, Weaver shouts that she can’t help him. He stops her by getting down on his knees in front of her, grabbing her arms and begging pathetically. She pulls away from him, yelling at him to listen to her and telling him to “get off the floor, you idiot … you’re embarrassing me”. Hee. Morris grovels that he’s desperate. Weaver screeches at him to stop. Then starting out strong but faltering at the end, she states “I can’t rehire you because I am no longer Chief of Staff”. Wow … Morris is as stunned as I am. The elevator dings and Weaver turns to get on, looking visibly upset.

Luka and Pratt are working on Rain Man. Luka says there’s still no response and that it isn’t an overdose, as Uncle Jesse takes off his jacket and comes over to help and Sam stands there, pretty much doing nothing. Pratt asks for chrichoid and Uncle Jesse kind of pushes Sam out of the way and says he’s got it. Nice, Uncle Jesse. Pratt admonishes that he wasn’t talking to him. Uncle Jesse presses on Rain Man’s throat anyway and Pratt is able to get the tube in. Sam starts bagging and tells them that the systolic is only 78. Lightning crashes, thunder roars, and Luka calls out for some meds, last one being Manitol, which Pratt questions because they don’t know if there’s a head bleed. Luka tells him that they don’t know what it is so Pratt needs to keep an open mind. Luka calls for ceftriaxone and Pratt raises his eyebrows and says “You’re throwing the kitchen sink at the guy”. Rain Man goes into v-tach and Luka starts compressions. Meanwhile, Uncle Jesse is reading printouts from the monitor and scowling. Botox works for men, too, Uncle Jesse. Uncle Jesse shows the printout to Luka and says that it doesn’t look right. Luka looks at it and says that Rain Man is hypocalemic and orders Sam to push some drug that I don’t care enough about to go back and see what it was, so “some drug” will just have to suffice. Pratt charges the paddles, Luka steps back, and Pratt shocks Rain Man. He’s still in v-tach, as Uncle Jesse continues to scowl, like he’s either trying to figure something out or else he’s constipated. Not sure which. Uncle Jesse asks “What about periodic paralysis?” Pratt’s all “huh?” Uncle Jesse says that he got it wrong on his Boards and had to go back and look it up as Sam says that the potassium is in. Uncle Jesse starts looking through the supply cart as Pratt just eyes him skeptically and shocks Rain Man again. Uncle Jesse expounds that you treat it will beta blockers, not KCL or some such, as Luka continues compressions and Rain Man ain’t doing any better. Uncle Jesse gets a syringe, shows it to Luka and asks “May I?” Luka replies that they have nothing to lose, so Uncle Jesse injects it into Rain Man’s IV. He says that the condition could have stopped Rain Man’s breathing. Luka’s stops doing CPR and they all watch the monitors as Rain Man goes back into sinus rhythm and Uncle Jesse annoyingly snaps his fingers, all proud of himself. Pratt’s all impressed that Uncle Jesse pulled that one out of his ass, and yuck to that image, Pratt. Uncle Jesse grins cockily and says that “Sometimes you have to try everything … even the kitchen sink”. Luka tells Pratt to call the ICU and to stay with Rain Man until he gets upstairs. Luka snaps off his gloves and hurries out, looking preoccupied.

Luka rushes out into the hall and passes Morris, who’s been waiting for him. Morris goes after saying that he has to talk to him, but Luka keeps going and tells him much like Weaver did, “Not now, Morris”. Morris keeps rambling that it’s an emergency, but not an “emergency, emergency” but that it’s important, as Luka pushes the button for the elevator, watching to see what floor it’s on and not paying any attention to Morris. The elevator is not coming fast enough for Luka, who heads to the stairs, distractedly telling Morris to find him later. Morris follows him, still trying to get his attention and yelling that he needs his job back, as Luka is already upstairs, calling down to him “Later!” and Morris groans in frustration and presses his forehead into the railing.

Abby is standing off to the side in the NICU by the water cooler, arms crossed, drinking from a cup. Meds Maggie enters carrying a cup of coffee and approaches her slowly, a little apprehensive. Abby throws her cup away, her back to Meds, not having seen her come in. With arms still folded, she turns around and spots Meds, who holds up a blue packet and tells her that they didn’t have sugar, so she brought the fake stuff. Do you really put that stuff in your coffee, Abby? Equal … ewww. Abby looks down at the coffee, then up at Maggie and tells her quietly “They don’t allow coffee in here”. Meds looks around and then glancing at Abby sort of pleadingly, tells her that no one is looking. Abby takes the coffee from her, but not the fake crystals. Good for you, Abby. That stuff causes cancer in rodents … paying attention, Morris? Abby walks a little away and leans against the windowed wall, crossing her arms again and sighing. She looks over at Meds a little sadly. Meds watches her a minute, then walks over to stand next to her. Abby’s not looking at her as Meds hesitates for a minute, then starts to tell her a story about when her brother Eric was three months old he got a terrible strain of pneumonia and ended up in the ICU. Abby’s still not looking at her, but is listening. Meds asks if she remembers that at all and that she was so little, but Abby shakes her head that she doesn’t. Meds continues that Eric’s kidneys were shutting down and the doctors said that he wasn’t going to make it. She says that she and Abby’s father fought because he wanted them all to say goodbye to Eric, and that he even dressed Abby up and brought her down to the hospital. She asks Abby again “Don’t you remember any of that?”, but Abby shakes her head, then finally glances quickly over at her. Meds says definitively that she wouldn’t stand for it and that she didn’t care what the doctors said and that it didn’t matter what the doctors said – she wouldn’t give up … she couldn’t. Abby admits sadly, “Well, I’m not like you. I think we’ve proven that”. Med assures her that she is. She is? Since when? Abby may be a more than a bit moody and a lot bitchy sometimes, but haven’t seen her going a-cuckoo or trying to off herself like you, Meds. Meds tries to tell her that she is like her. Abby looks up at her, disbelievingly because she’s hoping to God she hasn’t inherited the crazy. Actually, Abby is looking at her like such a frightened little kid who just wants Mom to make everything better. Meds tells her that she has to find the strength to get MoJo through this so that she can take him home with her. Quietly and despondently, Abby tells her “I don’t know if I can”. Heartfelt, Meds says convincingly “Oh, Abby, you have spent your whole life getting strong enough to do this”. Abby sighs and looks away, wiping at her left eye as we hear Luka call “Hey, Abby”. She responds “Yeah”, so he knows where they are as he walks in and spots them standing against the wall. He clasps his hands together like he’s gearing up for something, and comes over to them. He starts in that he knows the drug trial scares her and to trust him, it scares him, too. He glances over at Meds, who makes like she’s going to leave them alone, but he stops her and tells her to stay. Wringing his hands and trying to articulate what he’s thinking, he tells Abby that “Sometimes a longshot …”, then screwing up his face like he’s trying to get it right but not knowing if he’s making sense and using his hands to show how much he wants to explain this, continues “… That weird ‘kitchen sink’ thing … sometimes it really works”. Abby looks at him, knowing exactly what he’s saying, then quietly asks “What if something goes wrong?” Meds jumps in optimistically, “What if it goes right?” Abby, not taking her eyes away from Luka, tells him “We can’t take it back”. Looking resigned, but like he knows this is MoJo’s best chance, he says “I know that”. Abby considers this for a minute, then sighing, looks down, then back up at him, nodding slightly and agreeing “Okay, let’s do it”. Luka nods at her. She starts to walk away, adding ominously “I hope you’re right”. Uh oh. Meds looks up at Luka worriedly, before following Abby. Camera moves to Luka’s profile, which although mighty, mighty pretty, is troubled, because he hopes he’s right, too.

MoJo, resembling ET quite a bit, though wearing one of those light blue baby knit caps that all newborns seem to come with these days, is in his incubator as we hear Generic Pedes Resident giving the lowdown to Rabb. He tells us that MoJo is 15 days old and that this is Day 7 of the fludrosalone protocol, as caption says “One Week Later”. Generic encouragingly says that the baby is off pressors and that his weight is up to 37 grams as the camera pans over to show Abby and Luka standing beside Rabb. Rabb thinks that’s excellent as Abby watches MoJo and Luka stands behind her, with his right hand on her right shoulder and looking at Rabb as she tells Generic to DC the antibiotics, decrease the labs to QOD. Rabb turns to Abby and Luka saying “baby Joe is now officially a feeder and grower”. Abby smiles at her and says they’ll take that as a compliment, as Luka rubs her shoulder soothingly. Luka’s wearing a Luka Blue, the Original shirt in some sort of checked pattern. He’s obviously not working because he usually doesn’t do “checks” at work … though he has been known to do a stripe once in a while. Rabb and Generic leave and Abby and Luka move closer to MoJo. Luka says proudly “He’s so alert. He has his eyes wide open”, as Abby smiles at MoJo and says “Yeah”. Meds Maggie comes in as Abby wonders what MoJo is thinking. Meds leans over Abby’s shoulder and responds “ Get a life, Mom“. Hee. Abby says sarcastically “Oh, gee, thanks”, and glances over at her, grinning. Meds tells her that she hasn’t been out of there for more than a few hours over the past two weeks. She shoos Abby and Luka away, telling them to get out for a while. Abby’s reluctant, but Meds assures her that she’s there and then holds up a sign that says “Quiet, please. I’m trying to sleep!” Hee. Abby chuckles, and says “That’s obnoxious”. Meds says that the nurses keep yakking and still smiling, Abby says “Well, you could just ask them to stop”. Meds tells them to just go, and Luka waves at Abby with a “come here” gesture and says “Let’s take a walk. It’ll do us good”. He puts his right arm around her, rubbing her back and they start to walk out. An arbitrary NICU nurse asks them uncertainly “You’re leaving her here?” They keep walking and Luka says over his shoulder “She’ll be okay”, as Abby puts her arm around his waist and they walk out. Awww … Bitch. Arbitrary NICU nurse looks doubtful as Meds, holding up her sign asks hopefully, “Has anyone got any tape?” Hee. Cute scene.

Sam is sitting at a table with two guys in suits and the Mambo Mumbler. There’s a metal lateral filing cabinet with what look like law books on it behind her. She, Mambo and Suit One are more on one side of a table as Suit Two is on the other asking questions. He asks “About how far was the gun from him?” Sam, seeming a little nervous, says that it was “about ten inches, or so”. Suit One says that it’s in the detective’s report, but Suit Two thinks that’s funny because there was no gunshot residue on “Mr. Curtis’ “, aka Sleaze’s, body. Really? That’s interesting, considering the fact that he had fired the gun, killing his partners in crime, not too long before then. Should I be calling “shenanigans” here? Suit Two says that according to the autopsy, Sam would have had to have been at least five feet away. Uh oh, Sam. Sam backpedals and says that maybe she was further, and adds unconvincingly that it’s hard to say. Suit Two thinks there’s a big difference between ten inches and five feet. Mambo interrupts and mutters what may be “Mr. Evers … Can I call you Byron?”, though it sounds more like “Whatever … Am I all through cryin’?” Mambo, looking all smug, tells Suit Two that he’s a very sharp guy … I think … maybe he was complimenting his tie. Who knows? I wish he would just SPEAK THE HELL UP! Mambo thinks Suit Two either has a bright future ahead of him or a white suture on the head of him. Damn this is annoying. And me without my beloved Closed Captioning. Okay, this next line is tough … Mambo wants to know if Suit Two thinks his boss is going to want him chasing his tail over a guy who just shot up a hospital, or else he’s cross because he’s racing snails with a guy who bought up the hospital. Hmmm … Probably the first one. Both Suit Two and Sam are staring incredulously at Mambo, probably because they can’t understand a freakin’ word he says either. Mambo inclines his head towards Sam adding, “And raped this woman here.” Suit Two thinks maybe they should call his boss and ask him. Mambo says either “You think?” or “Za stink?”, continuing that he talked to him just this morning. Then checking his watch superciliously, Mambo goes on that they confirmed their dinner for 7:15. He explains that they go to Gibson’s every second Thursday and bugging his eyes out says “For the ribeye”. Suit Two’s not impressed. He tells Mambo that “this guy”, aka Sleaze, was murdered and his job is to prosecute the law. Mambo cuts him off saying that they’re not talking about the law here. No kidding, Mambo. You’re actually just nonsensically rambling, not “talking”, at least coherently, about anything. Mambo says that they’re talking about time and money and how Suit Two is wasting both. Getting more annoyed he adds on a “creep who deserves what he got”, or a “sheep who preserves goody snot”. Ugh … my brain … and ears, hurt. Mambo’s going to give him the opportunity to drop this now on his own. He and Suit Two eye each other up. Mambo asks if Suit Two wants him to either handle it over a “steak and a martini” or a “flake and Houdini”. Sam, like the rest of us, can’t wrap her mind around this …

Luka and Abby are sitting next to each other outside, drinking what look like they could be frappuccinos … yum … I think I feel a Starbucks run coming on … It’s night and there are lots of people walking up and down the sidewalk. Abby asks Luka if he’s looked at the mail. He says there’s nothing too urgent. Playing with her straw, she thinks maybe he should check the electric bill because the water was cold this morning. Hee. They are so married … Cute … What a domestic conversation … Neela, looking pretty dressed up, comes walking up to them and asks how it’s going. Luka says “hey” and Abby tells her that MoJo’s a little bit better today. Luka asks if she just got off … and I think that’s quite a personal question there, Luka. She says that she’s exhausted, which she really does look, and that she’s going to go grab some dinner at Ike’s then go home and crash. Luka and Abby nod at her. She tells them to hang in there, and Abby says “you, too”. Neela walks off. Abby watches her, then asks Luka how she’s doing at work. He shrugs and says that she seems to be fine. Abby nods and looks down. Luka hesitates a second, then asks if Neela’s still in Abby’s place, and puts his left hand up to his mouth, like he’s chewing on his thumbnail. Abby’s not looking at him and says “yeah” and that she hasn’t found anything. Abby adds that she’s never there and that she should just give it up. Luka doesn’t think she has to make any decisions right now. Abby shrugs and says “I know, but we’re a family …” and grinning says “We can’t just keep having slumber parties”. Hee. She glances over at him before looking back down. Luka keeps looking her, clearly wanting to say something to her, but wavering on whether to bring it up. He finally plunges in, bringing his thumbnail up to his mouth again, asking her “Have you thought about … what I asked you?”, then sort of grins, looking at her expectantly as he waits for her answer. She nods and says pointedly “I have …” then stammers adding “uh ... and I haven’t”. He nods and looks ahead, saying “That’s okay”, then nodding a bit in her direction adds assuredly “I’ll convince you later”. Hee. Love how absolutely sure he is. Abby considers for a minute before turning to him and earnestly asserting, “You know, we have a great life together. I don’t need a ring or a white dress to prove that I love you”. What … what … WHAT??? Did Abby really actually just say what I think she just said??? … Wait … Since I don’t have CC, I going to have to rewind this to make sure the earwax wasn’t blocking my hearing … Oh, yes … she so did …She actually said the “ILU” to Luka … First time we’ve ever heard her say those particular three words to a non-bipolar person … Wow … And not just the “ILU”, but also that she’s so certain of it, that she doesn’t need anything to prove it … She’s loves him and they are a family … Wow, wow, wow … Luka looks at her intently, grinning slightly. He shifts so that he can look at her full on and leans in closer to her. Looking at her adoringly, and adorably, he says quietly, confidently and ardently, “I’ll take love … We can save marriage for later”. Awww … Bitch … Abby grins at him lovingly, then blushing and looking down she shakes her head slightly, playing with her straw, saying, “Luka …”, then looks up at him. He sits back in his chair and says “I hope she’s okay”. Abby’s confused and looking off in the direction Neela went asks “Who? Neela?” Crossing his arms and settling in to his chair, Luka goes on “The NICU nurse … Your mother was driving her crazy”. He inclines his head and tilts his chin a couple of times in the other direction, then shrugs and starts smiling. They both start chuckling. What a sweet scene … They really are adorable. And … bitch.

Wearing granny glasses, Meds Maggie is sitting in a rocking chair next to MoJo’s incubator, knitting. Her makeshift “Shut the fuck up” sign is taped on the outside. Hee. One of MoJo’s monitors starts beeping like crazy. Meds gets up and looks at MoJo, then calls “Excuse me? Something’s beeping”. Woman at the desk just looks over and grins dismissively at her as Arbitrary NICU nurse comes over and pushes a button and tells her condescendingly “Not any more”. Ooooh … should she be doing that? She didn’t even look at it, just shut it off. She starts to walk away and Meds calls her on it, saying that she didn’t even look at MoJo. Arbitrary tells her that the sat wasn’t picking up and it happens all the time, then leaves. Meds looks after her dubiously, then looks down at MoJo. She sits down again, putting on her glasses, but still troubled. She reluctantly goes back to her knitting, then monitor crazily beeps again. Meds looks at MoJo, stands up and looks around for a nurse, unsure what to do. She looks back at MoJo and doesn’t like what she sees. She drops her knitting on the chair and moves over towards Arbitrary, trying to get her attention. Meds thinks something is wrong and that Dr. Rabb needs to take a look. Dismissing her, Arbitrary tells her that “the team” is in Radiology and they’ll come by when they’re done. There’s no doc or even med student in the NICU right now? That doesn’t seem right. There always seemed to be someone there when Abby and Neela were on their NICU rotation. Following after Arbitrary, Meds thinks that could take hours. Yikes. Arbitrary brushes her off that if she overreacts to every beep in this place, she’ll make herself crazy. You don’t know who you’re talking to, Arbitrary. She’s already crazy. Now you’re up against crazy AND a grandmother. Lethal combination and I’m thinking you’d best start paying attention. Meds goes up to Desk Woman and tells her to page Dr. Rabb. Desk Woman is all “what?” Meds is getting a little frantic and wants to know why no one is listening to her. She starts insisting over and over that they page Dr. Rabb. Desk Woman protests that she’s not supposed to. What? This is ridiculous. No doc and they’re not allowed to page one. WTF? Meds says that MoJo’s belly is too big and his breathing is too fast. Arbitrary starts to tell her to calm down but Meds cuts her off angrily “Don’t you dare tell me to calm down! I don’t care what Dr. Rabb is doing. She needs to get down here and take care of my grandson now”. Oh, yeah. She’s Abby’s mom alright. Desk Woman looks like she’s been bitchslapped … and she has …

Abby and Luka rush through the doors into the NICU. Meds rushes over to them, saying “Thank God you’re here … they’re putting the tube back in”. They get to MoJo’s incubator to see Rabb and Generic working on MoJo. Generic says that he’s bradying down to 70 and Rabb calls for a Miller 1.3-0. Rabb looks at x-rays as Abby asks her what happened. Meds insists that she knew something was wrong but no one would listen, as Abby nods in her direction, but keeps looking at Rabb. Rabb calls for bolus 20 cc’s and .2 of epi as Abby again asks, a little more insistently, “Okay, what happened?” Rabb hands Luka the x-ray. Meds is telling Abby “He was blue, Abby … he was blue”. Abby looks over and says questioningly “Luka?” Luka says there’s free air in the abdomen. Looking at him, Abby asks demandingly “He perfed?!?” Uh oh, MoJo. I’m thinking this isn’t good. Damn you, ER! My stomach has just now recovered from the last ep … Ugh! … Luka glances over at Abby. Rabb tells her that it was a good thing her mom was watching him like a hawk. Upset, Abby wants to know if this is because of the fludrosalone. Meds is telling Abby that she made them pull Dr. Rabb out of Radiology, and Abby nods at her as Rabb answers that there is no way of knowing that. Luka thinks it can be fixed in surgery. Ignoring him, Abby tells Rabb that spontaneous intestinal perf is one of the risks. Rabb says that it’s one of the things that happens to preemies. Luka tells Generic to check MoJo’s breath sounds, then tries to calm Abby down by telling her that it could be many possible explanations and that it doesn’t matter. Abby’s not placated, and looking at him she angrily retorts “It matters to me!” He looks back at her like he’s thinking that maybe she thinks this is his fault. Jessica Albright, Surgical Chief Resident, better known as Snotty Surgeon, struts in and says that Anspaugh is waiting for them in the OR. Rabb says that MoJo’s all hers. Meds wants to know what’s happening. Snotty says that they’ll remove any damaged tissue and attempt a primary anastomosis, which is a surgical connection between two structures. Thanks, Medline Plus. Meds follows behind admonishing “No Residents. We don’t want any Residents cutting on this baby”. I know it’s inappropriate considering the gravity of the situation, but … Hee … Abby is walking behind, with her hand on her head like she can’t believe all this is happening. She tells Another NICU Nurse to call the Chaplain and have him meet them at the OR. Luka tries to tell her that she doesn’t have to do that, but she says softly but definitively, not really looking at him, “You said that you wanted the baby baptized … And you said it was important to your family”. Luka tries to reach out to her saying “Abby …”, but she walks away calling insistently over to Another NICU Nurse to get the Chaplain. Luka follows her out. Oh, no. Does Abby think MoJo’s not going to make it? Uh oh … I better do a serious inventory of my supplies … Industrial strength Maalox? Check … Oversized box of Kleenex? Check … At least a magnum of Shiraz left? Check. … Ummm … Barring any other unforeseen tragedies, I should just about make it to the end of this ep … or pass out trying …

Neela is doing tequila shots with some ex-Frat Boy types at Ike’s. Ex-Frat Boy One thinks Neela’s a pro at this while Ex-Frat Boy Two wants her to do one more. Neela’s pretty wasted. She gets up and stumbling a bit, tells them she’s gotta go. The Ex’s are all “No!” and “We’ll walk you out” – ing to her. She grabs her bag off the bar and tells them it’s okay, but she can barely stand up. Ex-Frat Boy Two grabs her arms and supports her while Ex-Frat Boy One tells her that they need to get her a cab. She blows them off, telling them to go play pool or something. They protest and start leaving with her as we cut to:

Uncle Jesse getting out of the rig, asking Zadro if he wants fries or onion rings. Why do I have the feeling Uncle Jesse’s said that before? Either he has previously or aspires to have a career in the fast food industry … Zadro tells him “Vegetables … I’m doing South Beach”. Hee. That’s right, Zadro. The carbs’ll kill you … But what a way to go … sigh … Uncle Jesse teases him that he had a milkshake an hour ago. As he starts walking, he comes across Neela and her Posse of Two. They’re asking her “You’re not driving, are you?” and telling her that they’re taking care of her as she drunkenly protests, giggling. Uncle Jesse comes over and shoos them away back to the frat house and says he’s got this. Ex-Frat Boy Two wants to know if “dude” ‘s got a problem. Uncle Jesse says that she’s a friend of his and he’s going to take her home, adding “Right, Doc?” She thanks him and starts to walk off with him as he puts his arm around her to steady her. The Ex’s aren’t too happy, muttering stuff after her including “little bitch”, which doesn’t sit well with Uncle Jesse. He turns around and walks back towards them asking “What’d you say?” Ex-Frat Boy One doesn’t say anything but just smirks at him, and Uncle Jesse grabs him by the shirt and then head-butts him, knocking EFBO to the ground. EFBT tries to take a swing at Uncle Jesse, who bends the guy’s arm behind his back, shoves him into a wall and starts kicking the shit out of him. I guess I’m supposed to be all “Oooh … that Uncle Jesse – what a man!” and swoon over how macho he is, but honestly, I’m just kind of bored by it. And I think he’s way over-reacting. So the guys called Neela a “bitch”. Hell, if you got the crap kicked out of you for saying that, I’d have been permanently in traction for “bitching” Abby a long time ago. Bitch. And if I’m going to get all hot and bothered over anyone flaring their nostrils and beatin’ up the baddies, it’s going to be Luka, who’s totally scrumptious when he goes all caveman – like when he beat the hell out of Abby’s neighbor Brian for attacking her. Good times. Neela’s watching this with a WTF expression as Zadro gets out of the rig and tries to get Uncle Jesse to calm down and pulls him off before he can do too much damage. Zadro tells Uncle Jesse that the Ex’s got the message. Uncle Jesse, all calm and like he didn’t just lose it, tells the Ex’s that they’re leaving and the Ex’s should go home and “sleep it off”. He turns to help Neela into the rig as she just stares at the Ex’s, her drunken mind trying to process what just happened.

Anspaugh is operating on MoJo, as the Desolate Depressing Diva of Poor Pitiable Preemie Predicaments croons her mournful tune of woe. Anspaugh says that he’s dissecting through the vessels to the diseased ilium. Anesthesiologist Guy with his black and white Yin/Yang surgical cap says that the systolic’s only 22 and he’s going to bolus again as we see the Chaplain, with his Bible up to his face, praying over MoJo. Anspaugh and Snotty keep working on MoJo as the camera pans over to Luka, in surgical garb and mask, standing close by the table, watching this all intently, and sadly. He closes his eyes and prays along with the Chaplain, except in Croatian as we see Abby pacing the Observation Deck behind him, with her arms crossed in front of her, looking like she’s about to jump out of her skin. Luka turns to look at her, and she holds his gaze, looking terrified, before turning back to what’s happening to their son. And her hair is noticeably a lot lighter than it was two seconds ago. When did she and Luka have time for a dye job in the Hair Salon? Even a quickie, non-permanent one? I know you two haven’t had much time to spend rinsing and repeating lately, but … you know … could you not forgo finishing the frosting till the fledgling’s feeling fine? Jeez …

Neela’s telling Uncle Jesse that he really didn’t have to do this as they are entering the door to Abby’s apartment. There are quite a few empty beer cans lying about so methinks this isn’t the first time Neela’s been feeling no pain lately. Neela asks Uncle Jesse if he’s a boxer. Oh, please don’t tell me that since Deadwood’s mulch, she’s all pining for the pugilists and has a Mike Tyson fetish or something. Uncle Jesse tells her that she should go to bed. Neela says that she can sleep like the dead, then chuckles because “that rhymes”. She starts giggling as she walks into the kitchen, and Uncle Jesse just looks after her, a little concerned. She tosses her bag on the table, opens up the refrigerator, and still laughing, asks him if he wants a beer. He thinks the last thing she needs right now is another drink. She opens one, takes a sip, then tells him that he has a mean left hook, then adds that she likes that in a man. Oh no … Please don’t come on to Uncle Jesse, Neela … I was just getting used to the idea of you and Ray possibly hooking up in the future, now I’ve got to deal with you and Uncle Jesse? What would their shipper name be? Uncle Neela? Uncla? Ugh … And forgetting pretty quickly about your recently dearly departed houseplant … I mean “husband” … aren’t you, Neela? Neela asks him if he likes Sergio Mendes as she walks over to the little boom box on the table. Sergio Mendes??? I’m thinking either Luka must have left part of his CD collection at Abby’s, or else Neela’s got the same piss poor taste in music, ‘cause I’d bet some serious money Abby’d not even own something like that on a dare. Uncle Jesse deadpans “I don’t really know”. Hee. She says that she used to think he was really corny. No … ya think? But then she incredibly adds that his album’s really cool. Oh, Neela. Now I’m really worried because I’m thinking you’ve been drinking way more than I originally thought, because obviously some major brain cells have been destroyed. She turns on the CD, and starts dancing, even though there’s no music coming out yet and just some a cappella crap. Uncle Jesse tries to tell her that she’s going to have such a headache in the morning, as she stumbles into the table and hurts herself. He comes over to help her. He takes the beer out of her hand and tells her that he has to go because Zadro’s still in the rig. Neela says that he can come up, too, but Uncle Jesse tells her that she’s going to lay down and he’s going to leave. He turns to go and she grabs his arm. As he turns around, she grabs his face and plants one on him, passionately. He’s surprised, then starts kissing her back. Then he realizes what they are doing, grabs her hands from his face, then lowers them. She stops and opens her eyes. He looks at her and apologizes. Looking pitiful, she tells him, “I don’t want to be alone”. He asks if there’s anyone she can call. She closes her eyes, shakes her head and says softly “I don’t have anyone”. Aw, poor you. And really, not true, Neela. You have your ex-roommate, Ray. And even if you don’t want anything more from him, he’s still your friend and you know he’s still there for you. Uncle Jesse pulls her close and holds her.

MoJo’s still in surgery. Meds Maggie comes into the Obs Deck and sits next to Abby, who’s just watching the operation, as we hear everything that is going on in operating theatre. And Abby’s hair is back to the darker shade. Guess she realized the inappropriateness of having had the lightening done during the surgery. Not looking at Meds, Abby quietly and resignedly tells her “I can’t do this … I can’t pretend everything’s going to be okay … Preemies don’t make it out of the OR”. Meds shakes her head, and putting her hand on Abby’s leg comfortingly, tells her that all the bad things that she’s seen, “Let … it … go”. Abby berates herself “I can’t believe I let myself get talked into this” as Meds tells her “Stop it!” Abby’s got her hands crossed in her lap, and hangs her head for a minute. Looking back up at the scene before her, her face wet from tears, she tells Meds “I spent a month in the NICU. I know how this ends”. Oh, no … that’s right. She had a patient, baby Jacob that she nicknamed Jake, who the same thing happened to, and she watched his surgery, too, with Corday telling her that there was nothing more they could do. Then Abby had to go out and tell the parents. Then she unhooked the baby from all the machines and stuff, wrapped him up, and brought him to his parents so that they could at least hold him and be with until he died. No wonder she’s thinking the same thing is going to happen. That’s so sad. And I know that now’s not really the time to comment on it, but I’m really not liking Abby’s horizontally striped technicolor dream coat … or sweater, as it were. Just surprised it’s actually something she’d have in her wardrobe. Either it’s maternity wear that she got from some thrift store, or else she’s embracing the bag lady within. Both still glued to the scene before them, Meds admonishes her “Abby! You have a lot of great qualities but optimism is not one of them”. Hee. So true. And she’s totally been reacting in typical Abby fashion to all of this … just like she told us in Season 10 in Abby Normal, when things get tough she shuts down because it’s easier to do that then to risk being hurt or disappointed … again. Abby chuckles, then says a little meanly, “Who’s fault is that?” Meds concedes “Yeah … alright … I did not create a good environment for a child to grow up believing things would work out”. Meds then looks at her and gives it to her absolutely straight as Abby wipes the tears from her eyes “But you’re not a child any longer. You’re the mother now. And that baby down there needs you to believe he’s going to be okay”. Cut to the operation as we hear monitors beeping and Yin/Yang saying that MoJo is bradying down to the 60’s and the camera focuses on Luka, watching. Snotty calls for another round of epi as Yin/Yang says “Guys, he’s gray!”, and Luka closes his eyes, bringing his right hand up to cover them and trying to keep from breaking down. It’s absolutely heartbreaking because he is so apparently blaming himself for what is happening to his son. Cut back to Meds and Abby as we hear the voices through the monitor getting more concerned and ordering more meds. Abby can’t take it anymore and jumps up to turn off the speaker. She turns to Meds and visibly on the verge of losing it, crying and telling her brokenly, “I’m trying. I’m really, really trying … I’m trying” as Meds reaches out and grabs her arm, pulling her close as Abby breaks down and let’s her mother hold her. And once again, Maura Tierney’s gotten to me and I’m blubbering like a baby. Thanks, Maura. And she and Sally Field are just wonderful together and totally believable as mother and daughter. I’ve loved watching the two of them every single time Sally’s been on, and this ep’s no exception.

Neela is sitting on a bench outside of the Ambulance Bay, wearing her sunglasses and looking like she’s recovering from a long night. Captioning tells us it’s “Two Weeks Later”, and from the way she’s sitting there, I’m guessing Neela hasn’t given up indulging and imbibing. Ray walks over holding a cup of coffee and telling her that the cath lab is waiting on her roller blader and she needs to finish the chart. Neela asks him where he’s going and he says that he’s going to get beer for the party and it looks like Weaver only ordered lemonade. Weaver? But she’s not Chief of Staff anymore. I guess maybe she did that before she lost the job. Neela asks “For graduation?” and Ray says that Weaver’s been no fun since she’s been demoted. Oh .. .demotion. Sucks for you, Weaver. But demoted to what, I wonder. And was she able to keep Luka from losing his job??? Neela thought that Luka was going to take the flack for everything that happened, but Ray guesses that it all came down on Weaver. Neela says sarcastically “Lucky us”. Ray asks if Neela’s talked to Abby. Looking uncomfortable, Neela says that she thinks they want privacy for a while. Oh, no. So what happened to MoJo? Ray nods sympathetically and says for Neela to tell Abby that they miss her. I’m so not feeling good about MoJo’s chances right now … thank God for super strength antacid … and jug wine …

Frank is telling some plaid-shirted guy that the paint has streaks. Plaid Guy doesn’t see any streaks. Frank brings him around to the front of Admit and tells him that if they stand over there in the light, they can see it has streaks. Frank grabs Neela, who is walking by, and asks what it looks like to her. As she keeps walking she says, not even looking, “I see streaks”. Hee. We hear Uncle Jesse say “Hey MayDay” as Neela walks over to him, looking surprised, and more than a little shamefaced. She asks how he is, and he says great. She then starts to tell him how embarrassed she is, but he cuts her off and tells her “don’t” and that he’s glad it was him that took her home. Pratt comes walking in with a bunch of people. He’s handing out labcoats. Neela sees this and remarks to Uncle Jesse “Intern Orientation. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone”. She then asks him what he’s doing there and before he can answer, Pratt comes over and says “Yo, Gates” and gesturing to the labcoat, “Want me to take this or put this in the Lost and Found for you?” Uncle Jesse says that he doesn’t “do the whites” and that he’s into natural fibers. Pratt scoffs and tells him that he’s always bugged him but he’s in Pratt’s ER now, so “put on the damn coat”. Uncle Jesse grins a little as he takes it. Neela looks at him and asks, “So, you’re a new Intern?” Uncle Jesse says he is and he did his last paramedic shift yesterday. Pratt is telling the Interns to get their photo ID’s taken as Uncle Jesse cheekily tells Neela that he looks “forward to working under you, Doctor Rasgotra”. So not an image I need, Uncle Jesse. Ewww … She gives him a look before walking away as Sam comes up and asks if anyone’s heard from Jerry, who’s supposed to be discharged today. Frank says that he just spoke to him and that Jerry is getting a massage from a home care nurse. Oh, that is waaaay too much information … Frank hands Sam a message and says that her “Big Daddy” called and wants her to meet him outside. Sam Botox’s “Really?” and walks away. Morris walks up and dejectedly tosses pens on the counter saying “Courtesy of Maxanox”. Pratt tells him to “buck up” and that he should be glad that he doesn’t have to spend the summer teaching pelvics to the new Interns. Morris thinks Pratt is lucky. Pratt jibes that he’s cleaning vomit from his shirt as Morris is flying First Class. Morris corrects “Corporate jet, actually”. He tells Pratt that it sounds corny, but he never appreciated what it meant to have a job that matters. He says that the day with Jerry was so terrible but also kind of the best moment of his life, because watching a “friend” almost die is always such a Kodak moment. Morris thinks what he does now is silly. Pratt thinks he’s doing a service and that he’s educating the medical community but Morris thinks that’s a load of crap and they all know it because he’s “sold out to The Man”. Samuel L. Jackson??? Pratt guesses that Morris never talked to Luka. Morris tells him that Luka didn’t return his calls. Hee. That’s my boy … Shampoo Boy, that is … Pratt thinks Luka’s pretty preoccupied these days. I’m really not taking the fact that no one is smiling as they talk about either Abby or Luka as a good sign. Nor is being able to actually see the bottom of my Maalox bottle a good sign either considering there’s still some time left in this show and I still don’t know what’s happened to MoJo. Morris guesses that he could always try doing this somewhere else. Oh, please, please, please, please, please!!! Morris thinks that he’s at least figured out what’s important and that he wants to practice medicine again. He complains that he has to go “do his thing” for the Critical Care department. Again … waaaaaay too much information … Ewww … Pratt watches him walk away as Frank walks up with something for him to sign. Pratt asks him if he knows where Luka is. Oh, no. Please, Pratt. Don’t do it. Seriously. My stomach, my brain, and pretty much the rest of me can’t take any more Morris. Ugh does not even begin to cover it …

Sam walks out into the Ambulance Bay and meets up with The Mambo Mumbler. She worriedly asks him what he’s doing there. Doing the annoying thing where he pontificates while not looking at who he’s pontificating too, Mambo mumbles that “the DA determined it’s justifiable homicide” unless it was “the decay of vermin is just deniable palm a bride”. He tells Sam that it’s over, and she can’t believe it. Wait a minute … if what you’re saying is true … I still don’t care. Though I don’t believe it either, Sam. You just got away with murder … literally. And even though it was Sleaze after all, I’m not sure how I should feel about that. I’ll have to ponder this for a second … hmm … yup … still don’t care. Sam hugs Mambo, and crying and smiling at the same time, tells him that every day she keeps thinking “they” are going to come and arrest her. Who? The Atrocious Hair Police? Yeah, you should be afraid then, Sam – you’re a repeat offender. Looking around again arrogantly, or else he’s been told to do repetitious neck stretching, Mambo tells her to stop worrying about it, and to focus on “all sex”. What? That’s a bit inappropriate to say to your employee, Mambo. Oh … maybe he said “focus on Alex”, which makes a little more sense, but is not nearly as fun, Sam. Mambo wants to know if she’s talked to him about it. She says that he knows his dad is gone, but she admits she needs to talk to him more about. She’s probably waiting a while since this is a busy time of year for him, what with the leaves changing and all. Mambo says to her that she’s “da bomb”, cause there’s no way he actually told her she’s a “good mom”. He says he wanted to tell her that in person. Then he says either “plenty things pulse with greed” or “anything else you need …” before getting in his car. Sam watches and waves, looking a bit sad. Probably because she realizes she’s going to actually have to try to hold a conversation with Splinter, which is akin to talking to a log … literally.

Morris is giving his schpiel to the Critical Care people in a classroom-type setting. A grumpy doctor is questioning him on why they should invest in a course of Maxanox when they have cheaper drugs for pulmonary edema which are entirely effective. Morris, with his little slide presentation starts to go into some study, which Grumpy Doc disputes … yada yada yada … WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MOJO??? And why am I being forced to wade through this shit to get my answer??? Aaaarrrrggghhhh. Pratt enters in the middle of this rather lame exchange and asks to see Morris outside. Morris tries to tell him that it’s not a good time and turns back to his audience. Pratt pointedly tells him “It’s an emergency”, which gets Morris’ attention. He excuses himself and follows Pratt out. Morris is all “What is it? Can’t you see I’m working?” A smug Pratt tells him that Luka is going to offer him the job. Oh no. No, no, no. Something really dire must have happened to MoJo, because there’s no way a clear-thinking Luka would have done this. Morris hugs Pratt, then opens the door to tell the other docs “You know, stick with Lasix, Maxanox is a scam”. Hee. Thanks, Morris, for giving me that momentary respite from my grief over the impending fate of MoJo …

Neela and Ray are at the party drinking beer and leaning against a tablecloth-ed banquet table. She tells him that it’s great that Luka offered Morris that Attending spot. Neela must have been at the booze all afternoon to be offering up that kind of delusion. Ray thinks Morris is like a stray dog who just keeps coming back. Hee. And unfortunately for the audience, so true. Uncle Jesse comes over to Neela and tells her that he stuck a needle in the heart of the blunt chest trauma patient today and got a half liter out of the pericardium. Neela thinks that’s not bad for an Intern. Uncle Jesse flirtingly thinks it’s because he had a good teacher, as Ray rolls his eyes and looks away. Neela looks over at him and sees him doing it, and asks whether the two of them have met. Uncle Jesse, not impressed, says that he’s seen Ray around and introduces himself saying that he’s an Intern. Ray reciprocates and thinking about it first, because since this is the end of the year party when the med students graduate and the Residents advance a year he realizes it’s only now true, he adds “R3”. Uncle Jesse thinks that maybe tomorrow Neela can show him how to do an open-pericardial window, and Ray jumps in saying that he can show him how to do that. Neela smiles looking back and forth between the two competitors for her affections, and excuses herself before walking away chuckling. Uncle Jesse slides closer to Ray and says that he hears she had a roommate who never tried to sleep with her. Ray replies “What a dillweed”, and walks away. Hee.

Neela, Pratt, Morris and Weaver are all standing around a table, drinking beer. What Weaver? You order only lemonade for the party and now that someone else has sprung for the beer, you're all over it? Cheap ass. Morris wants to know if he can call her “Kerry” now, but Weaver doesn’t think so. Morris doesn’t see why not, and putting his arm around her says that they are colleagues, contemporaries. She shrugs his arm off telling him “Don’t touch … no touch” as Neela and Pratt laugh. So Weaver’s a lowly Attending in the ER now? This should be really interesting. This will be the first time since she’s been on this show that she’s not been either in an authority position or angling to be in an authority position. Weaver looks through the crowd, and calls out “Luka!” Luka comes walking over to them and … good Lord … what the hell is he wearing?!? Jeez, Luka. Your non-work clothes that aren’t t-shirts or sweaters are just plain awful. You’ve got a bit too much of a fondness for short-sleeved checked button downs that are quite beachcombing-old-man-with-a-metal-detector- esque ... Yikes. It’s more “wimpy and wrinkled” than “ravishing and rumpled”. You’d better marry him soon, Abby, to save him from himself and his tendency to buy his clothes from the Sears Catalog. Unless that’s your doing – the not sending him out to the mall thing, for which I so wouldn’t blame you. I wouldn’t send him out without a paper bag over his head myself. But reducing him to catalog-shopping or buying his clothes off the Home Shopping Network just doesn’t seem to be working, Abby. Though considering your own present penchant for hobo hand-me-downs, I’m guessing the two of you are trying to get in the early-bird-specials-at-IHOP mode … Luka apologizes for being late and Pratt says that he didn’t think he was going to make it. Smiling, Luka says that he had to see it for himself, “Archie Morris and Greg Pratt … Attendings, huh?” Neela asks him if Abby’s coming and he stops smiling. Uh oh. Looking down and stammering a bit, he says “Uh … she wanted to … but not, not tonight …” Weaver asks “How’s she holding up?” Luka nods a little, still not smiling “She’s okay … she’s doing okay …”. Oh no, MoJo … and oh no, my stomach as we cut to:

An empty crib. Oh, I just can’t take any more of this angst … ugh … Wait a minute … That crib is finished … and has bedding in it. That wasn’t how it was on the day MoJo was born … Oh, please don’t tell me that they finished the room when he was starting to do better … because that is just way too heartbreaking … We hear a clock ticking as the camera pans through the rails of the empty crib and we see Abby, sitting alone in a rocking chair in the dimly lit room … this is Luka’s bat cave after all so they can’t have too much illumination … but this is so sad. Abby’s just looking away. Camera angle changes as we see her face, staring off. She closes her eyes, almost resignedly, as we see Meds Maggie come into view in the open doorway. Camera pans back to show … HA! FAKE OUT! There’s MoJo wrapped in a blanket in Abby’s arms!!! Yay!!! … I should really be pissed for being so manipulated … Who the hell directed this ep? Oh yeah, Maggie Seaver, the mom from Growing Pains, also known by her real name of Joanna Kerns. I should be cursing you and your domain right now, Joanna, but I’m just so happy to see that Mongo Joe pulled through and made it home … Meds knocks on the door and Abby turns around to look at her. Meds grins and says “It’s almost time”, as Abby smiles back at her and stands up, asking if she’s called a cab. MoJo starts to stir a little, and Abby shhh’s him soothingly and lifts him up onto her shoulder as Meds says that it will be there any minute. Abby smiles at her and asks hopefully “When are you coming back?” A little surprised, Meds smiles and answers “Oh my God, is that an invitation?” Abby laughs and says she guesses it is as she pats MoJo’s back comfortingly. Abby says that the signs and the notes were a little crazy, as she shifts MoJo back down so that he’s laying in her arms and she gazes at him before admitting to Meds that she doesn’t think she could have gotten through this without her. Awww. I’m loving that Abby actually let her mother be a mother to her. Meds thinks Abby would have found a way and that she’s a fighter. Then she adds “My God, you’ve been fighting with me since the day you were born”, as Abby grins at her while she rocks MoJo back and forth. Meds says that she would say to her to wear the “cute little pink dress” and Abby would wear the jeans or she’d tell her what a nice little drawing she’d done and Abby’d throw it in the trash. Hee. No wonder the mother-daughter dynamic scared the hell out of Abby. Good thing you had a boy then, huh, Abby? Meds says she told Abby to become a lawyer and she became a doctor. Then walking over to Abby and MoJo, Meds says “My greatest hope” as she puts her hands on MoJo’s head and looks at Abby, “… would be this little guy causes you as much agony and pain as you caused me”. Hee. I think every mother has cursed her daughter in the same way … Mine wished three of them like me on me … and damn if the witch’s spell didn’t come true … Abby chuckles and Meds kisses MoJo’s head then tells her that it would serve her right. We hear a horn beep and Meds says that she has to go. As she walks to the door, Abby stops her saying “Uh … hey … hey …” Meds turns around, and a little emotionally, Abby pleads “You don’t have to go today … you know” and shrugs nervously. Hee. I was so the same way when my mom left me alone with the spawn for the first time. Meds looks at her motherly and assures her “You’ll be fine”. As Meds turns to leave, Abby calls out “Mom”, as Beth Orton’s great version of “Ooh Child” starts playing …Ooh ooh child …Meds looks back and says genuinely “I love you” … things are gonna be easier … They smile at each other as Abby continues to rock MoJo and Meds goes to get her coat … Ooh ooh child … things’ll be brighter … She turns and watches Abby rocking back and forth and sort of dancing with a wide-eyed and extremely cute MoJo and gazing at him adoringly Ooh ooh child … things are gonna get easier … Meds looks affectionately at the two of them and blows them a kiss before leaving … Ooh ooh child … things’ll get brighter … Luka and the gang are looking at some adorable pictures of MoJo, a close-up shot in black and white on top of a color one of Abby standing up holding him that looks remarkably like the scene that was just shown … hmm … Someday …yeah … we’ll put it together and we’ll get it all done … They’re all like a happy family, smiling and fussing over the pictures as a proud and beaming Luka is handing out cigars …So sweet … Someday … when you’re head is much lighter … As we cut back to Abby, dancing with MoJo and watching him lovingly … Someday … yeah … we’ll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun … the two of them in their own little world … Someday when the world is much brighter … Just lovely.

18 Comments:

At 2:20 PM, October 12, 2006, Blogger Reina Borg said...

I missed you Cranky. I´m gonna read it rigth now.
Thank you

 
At 4:00 PM, October 12, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You've done it again! Hilarious!

 
At 9:15 PM, October 12, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, I also thought that Luka's shirt in that last scene was quite horrible.

 
At 9:39 PM, October 12, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mumble Mumbler seriously cracks me up. It's like Armant Assante is drunk all the time, because that's what I sound like when I'm wasted. But hey, at least it's funny!

Great as usual, Cranky. Keep up the wonderful job!

 
At 12:12 AM, October 13, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As much as I love GV (and I really do) today I saw him on the Megan Mullahy show and he had
another awful Sears Catalog/IHOP shirt on, I don't know maybe it is a European thing those short sleeved button down collared shirts. I could think of so many better things to dress him in... or not...Anyway loved the recap especially the Sam, Alex, Mambo Mumbler material they certainly provide comic relief, really laughed at the Atrocious Hair Police line... Good stuff as always, and since I just watched episode 4 believe me you have plenty of fodder for next week.

 
At 1:14 PM, October 13, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yay! Another recap, thank you.

 
At 4:16 PM, October 13, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cranky! I am so glad to see you back bitching. :-) You make my day!

 
At 5:08 PM, October 13, 2006, Anonymous kittythegolfer said...

Okay - I had to stop reading the recap to look up Linda Cardellini (Sam)on imdb.com. Can anyone else claim Scooby Doo 2 and Brokeback Mountain on his/her resume? I think not. And how do you KNOW this stuff? Back to the recap......

 
At 10:00 PM, October 13, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahh...WELL worth the wait!! You are a master at this Cranky...and am glad to know that we've all gotten the very same curse from our Moms upon being presented with progeny. Mine were adopted so I can always blame it on hereditary! The good stuff comes from 'environment'. LOL I am so glad you are back safe and sound. Did you hear the news that NBC is no longer planning to interrupt our ER fixations for a mid season replacement? Halleujah! No Cranky Recap interruption either!

Larue

 
At 3:17 AM, October 14, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoa, Cranky, do you really do these recaps without using the closed caption device?! That's insane! Half the time I dont get what anybody is saying on this show . . . dont even get me started on the Mambo Mumbler!
You are so good. Really, just so much fun reading your recaps. Thanks for doing them!

 
At 6:22 AM, October 14, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was awesome! You balanced so well the funny and the sweet of this episode. I had to use TWO boxes of industrial size Kleenex: one to watch it on TV and another to read your recap.

I can barely wait to see what you will do with Parenthood (13x4).

 
At 10:09 PM, October 14, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for so wonderful recap!!
What are you going to do with 13.03? Will you be able to make that recap at least less detailed? At least just Luka's and Abby's scenes ...

 
At 4:34 PM, October 15, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

feeling much better after my cranky' fix!
it was worth the wait!!
may your previous memorystick rest in peace and long life to the new one!!!

 
At 2:44 AM, October 16, 2006, Anonymous Jenna said...

Well done again!!!

Thanks a lot!!! :) You're simply the best, Cranky!!!!

 
At 7:27 PM, October 16, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Cranky,

You made my day, you really did, because today is my first day back at work, I've been on vacation for 1 month enjoying my bed, my TV and my computer a lot, since my daughter was going to school I couldn't get out of town. Anyway, I was torturing myself last night thinking about how my day will start tomorrow and today when I got to my computer I did the same thing as everyday, I looked for your recaps and for my surprise you were BACK!!!!

I'm so with you with your indignation about Armand Asante, it is quite hard for me to understand the episode cause my mother tongue is Spanish and I have English as my second language, but with this guy I feel like I have to learn his dialect too, I REALLY CAN'T.

I have to agree with someone who posted a comment about Luka's clothes on Graduation Party, he better start dressing better cause that color was HORRIBLE!!! He shouldn't be changing his Luka Blue I and II.

Abby's scenes with Luka, Maggie and Joe were amazing, I'm so with you on the feeling of anguish because TPTB almost kill us with a heart attack about Joe's condition.

For 13.03 "Somebody to Love", I don't mind if you only recap Luka's scenes and Abby's scenes, cause the rest was pretty slow in my opinion. I would like you to be more focus in 13.04 "Parenthood", believe me Cranky you'll have a lot to recap in that eppy.

You are the best Cranky, your ROCK!!!!!!!!

Welcome back my friend!!!!

Viviana
Lima, Peru-Southamerica

 
At 5:16 PM, October 17, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

awesome as usual! The Mumbo Mumbler/Sam/Splinter scenes are particularly hilarious to me, I can't stop laughing every time I think about the "he may just be photosynthesizing" bit, you are genius!!!

paola

 
At 9:28 AM, October 25, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

poisoned rodents...look out morris. You are a genious! too funny

 
At 8:58 PM, October 27, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks, Cranky, for keeping the flame for all of us incurable ER addicts. Maura doesn't really get to me like she gets to you, but thanks for explaining that business with Abby turning off the speaker to the OR before saying "I'm really trying." Because, I thought she was turning the speaker on and yelling into the OR, which seemed like a new high--or low--of self-absorption even for Abby. BTW the only part of Luka's prayer that I could hear, "Gospodi!", can mean "Lord!" in either the sacred or the expletive sense in Croatian, just as in English. I think Abby's guy must say that a lot, but I'm glad he wasn't reacting to her interrupting the surgeons to review her chronic trust issues.

 

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