ER 12.22 21 Guns

Previously on ER: Sam’s ex, Steve, not cute Cole Hauser-Steve but Sleazy Garret Dilahunt-Steve with the Carter-esque crewcut, is in one of the beds in an Exam Room, as Sam asks him “What’s with the cross?” and he says that the Chaplain gave it to him, so she asks if he’s keeping up on his Bible studies; Sleaze, looking mighty poorly, tells Sam “I wasn’t faking it”, as she kind of grins and nods, acknowledging this by saying that she knows; a shirtless John Leguizamo, aka Victor Clemente, Attending, aka Chi-Chi Rodriguez from Too Wong Foo is going nuts, trying to get out of an Exam bed as Zadro the Paramedic and Abby try to calm him; Luka and Abby are in the drug lock-up and he tells her that Weaver knew that Chi-Chi had problems when she hired him and now they are paying for it and Abby, tugging on his labcoat very wifely-like, reminds him that it’s his ER; Sheryl Lee Ralph, who I can only ever refer to as “Dee” because she’s played more than one character with that name on TV, but here is playing the mother of Michael Gallant, aka Neela’s husband, formerly known as Plank and now officially known as Deadwood, asks Neela if she has any idea why “Michael” went back to Iraq then explains that he’s his father’s acorn … I mean, “son”; Ernie Hudson, aka Winston Zeddemore from Ghostbusters, aka Deadwood’s tree merchant … um, “father” … tells Neela that a seed has to be planted where they tell him to … uh, a soldier has to go where they tell him to; Dee asks Winston to explain to Neela why Deadwood is not there with his wife; an Army guy, who reminds me of Greg Germann, aka Richard Fish from Ally McBeal, tells Neela that the Secretary of the Army would like to express his deepest regret, and goes into voiceover as we see Deadwood in an Army vehicle that explodes as Fish continues “that your husband, Captain Michael Gallant, was killed in action” ... and we see Neela crying and putting her head in her hands as Fish’s v.o. goes on “… in Iraq on April 29th”.

A nicely dressed Pratt walks through the ER doors and walks up to Admit. Jerry asks him if they can send anything, and Chuny asks “Flowers? Donation?” Pratt says that there is going to be a memorial next week as Morris, Ray and Weaver look at him. He says that today Neela and the Deadwoods want to have a private graveside ceremony, family only. Ray adds “And you”. Putting on his overcoat, Pratt says that’s right and that Neela needs somebody to lean on right now and he and “Mike” were tight. Ray absorbs this as Morris tells Pratt to let Neela know that they are all with her. Weaver, wearing a suit with a Luka Blue II shirt and looking very nice, with her hair pulled back and up, tells Pratt to relay to Neela not to even think about coming back to work until she’s ready. Pratt says that he should get out of there and that there’s a car picking him up and he needs to be up there by 9:00. Jerry tells Weaver that Dr. Anspaugh’s office called and he’s waiting for her upstairs.

Weaver starts to walk down the hallway as Haleh and Natasha Gregson Wagner, Natalie Wood’s and Robert Wagner’s daughter, dressed in a dark blue scrub jacket, walk up. Do you feel pretty, oh so pretty, pretty and witty and gay, and pity anyone who isn’t you today, Natasha? Haleh introduces Natasha as “Mary Warner” and says that she’s an EMT trainee from Mitchelson. Natasha says “hiya” and that her program sent her over to spend the day taking vitals or whatever for credit. Weaver’s beeper goes off and she looks at it, then nods at Natasha and responds “Of course”. Natasha holds a paper up and says that someone needs to sign it at the end of the shift to say that she was there and “did stuff”. She seems really ditzy and is already annoying me. Great. I hate being annoyed before Opening Credits. Does not bode well for the rest of the episode. And since Abby is most likely in third trimester sexual stagnation, I’m betting Luka’s not been getting many deep conditioning treatments in the Hair Salon, so I won’t be seeing me any naked Luka again this episode to amend my aggravation, which only serves to make me more surly. Thanks, ER. Haleh asks Weaver what she’d like to do with Natasha, and if you can’t think of anything, I have ideas, Weaver, all of which revolve around wiping that smartass smirk she’s sporting off her face. Ugh. Weaver tells Haleh to let Natasha shadow and see how different nurses do the primary. Weaver walks away as Natasha tells Haleh that’s what her instructor suggested. And props to Laura Innes for the way she’s turning her right leg in and not having Weaver walking with a completely straight gait.

Haleh, who’s sporting a big ‘fro, shows Natasha that patients come through the Triage Desk, and points to show her where the Waiting area and ambulance runs are. She asks Natasha how long she wanted to be an EMT and Natasha answers that it hasn’t been long and that she got tired of retail, adding that “Christmas sucked”, and I’m so with you on that, Natasha, seeing as the jolly fat guy didn’t see fit to bring me what I wanted this year … Luka in the Santa hat … and only the Santa hat … and no, the gift certificate to The Gap just doesn’t compare, no matter how you try to justify it. Haleh and Natasha walk over to the Curtain Area where Sam is squirting water into some bearded nerd’s mouth. Haleh introduces Natasha and says that she’s got to irrigate a full-body “road rash” on an unfortunate Vespa driver. Ouch. Sucks for you, Maltreated Moped Motorist, since that means you either crashed or fell off your vehicle, and scraped the shit out of yourself. Idiot. Sam complains that she’s got the “mother of all meth mouths” here. Really? I didn’t know tooth decay had folks. What are they called? Cavity Creators? Gingivitis Guardians? Plaque Parents? Haleh asks if Sam can let Natasha observe her for a while. Sam shakes her head saying pointedly “Haleh …”, and Haleh says that she’ll come get Natasha as soon as she’s free. She walks away as Sam is still protesting.

Natasha looks at Meth Mouth, who’s got some serious stuff dripping over his lips. Natasha and I both say “Yuck”. Sam agrees and says “That’s the magic of meth”. She keeps squirting water in his mouth as he bears what’s left of his rotted away teeth. Lovely. Sam explains to Natasha that corrosive substances in the drug eat away at the tooth enamel. She lightly adds that she has a feeling that “Mike” here hasn’t been flossing. She asks “Have you, Mike?” and as the blood bubbles out of his mouth, he replies “Not really a priority”. Again, yuck. And after seeing that, I have both a new appreciation and revulsion for my dentist husband right now for having to deal with this kind of hideousness on a regular basis. Ewww. Natasha scrunches up her face and says “Dude, you gotta floss every day”, as Sam and Meth Mouth just look at her.

Pratt is waiting under the El trestle, checking his watch, as Ray walks over. Ray asks how Neela is doing. He says that he’s left her some messages but he hasn’t heard back. Pratt replies “Amazingly well, actually”. Ray thinks she’s tougher than she looks and Pratt agrees. Ray says he’ll try calling her again, but Pratt thinks she needs some space. Ray tries to explain that he just thought that … but Pratt interrupts him and says that he doesn’t think Ray should ... and trails off. Ray asks “What?” and Pratt replies “Complicate it”. Ray just looks at him as a limo pulls up and Fish, wearing a beret, gets out. He asks “Are you Dr. Pratt?” And Pratt says he is, and looking in the car asks “Where’s Neela?” Fish explains that Neela asked that they go on to the cemetery without her and that she’s not feeling up to it today, as Pratt takes this in.

We hear clattering sounds and a voice muttering as the camera pans up a burgundy blanketed bed to reveal Abby, asleep. We hear Luka in the background, sounding like he’s doing some major bitching in Croatian. Abby wakes up as we hear paper rustling. She listens to the continued cursing and grins, as the camera switches to her point of view, looking at Luka in the room across the hall, working on a crib. Abby sits up in bed, sporting some bedhead and wearing white long sleeved pajamas, and watches him for a minute as we still hear him grumbling. She gets up and walks towards the other room, scratching her head. As she gets to the doorway, Luka is pushing the crib’s siderail up and down, annoyed. There is a ladder behind him, in front of the window. Abby says “Hey. Bob Vila look out”. Hee. Luka sighs and tells her that it’s not finished, not looking the least bit confused by the hotshot handyman reference, so I’m guessing that his TV watching repertoire has expanded from interior decorating with Martha Stewart to home improvement with reruns of This Old House. Abby grins and says that it looks pretty finished to her. She chuckles as Luka looks at the instructions, groans, and puts his face in his right hand. Abby looks around the room, which is like a dull yellow color and has blue painter’s tape all around the moulding, and tells him “Well, either I’ve been sleeping for days or you’re working really fast” as she rests her hands on her protruding baby belly and smiles at him. So have they actually moved in together or what? Or are they going to outfit and decorate Abby’s second bedroom, too … oh, wait … Abby doesn’t have a second bedroom, though I suppose one may miraculously appear, the way this one conveniently did when Alex needed it, even though it was nowhere in sight in Season 8 when Abby stayed with Luka and had to sleep on the sofa. And it looks like Luka also painted over the exposed wall that was there when it was Alex’ room. Luka is shielding his eyes with his left hand as Abby asks him “How’s the insomnia?” He says that he kept thinking about Deadwood and Chi-Chi. I’m surprised that what happened with Chi-Chi would bother Luka so much, unless he’s wondering if maybe he should have handled it differently. And Luka’s looking mighty fine in his black t-shirt and jeans. Yum. The pregnancy thing must really be getting to you, Abby, if you can actually sleep while he’s awake and looking that good. I’m sure I could think of much better things than painting to occupy his waking hours. Crazy bitch. And you obviously haven’t paid much attention to Martha, Luka, because that mustard-y moulding is just hideous and not complimentary to the wall color at all. Luka moves back to sit on the olive-green loveseat that’s under the window, hitting his thigh. He looks at the instructions and quietly adds “It’s a lot”. He leans back against the cushions as Abby comes over, lifts up a stuffed panda that is next to him, and sits down. He reaches over and rubs her thigh as she puts her hand on his. Bitch. He tells her that he went with yellow because they don’t know if it’s going to be blue or pink, as she looks around the room, nodding. He shifts his body and bends down to talk to the baby belly as she leans back and puts her left hand on his shoulder, then looks over at the panda in her other hand. He asks the baby “What’s it going to be, huh? Blue or pink? Hello?” as he gently knocks on her belly. Hee. Very cute. And all their interactions since they sat down have been very subtle, settled, comfortable, and natural, like it’s something they do all the time. Still looking at the panda, Abby asks “Is it just me, or are pandas kind of creepy?”, as Luka places his palm on her belly and looks over saying lightly “Wow, they’re terrifying”. Hee. He lays his head next to his hand on her stomach telling the baby “Hey … steady”, as she drops the panda and leans on her right hand, her left hand unconsciously stroking his back. Bitch. He starts speaking in Croatian to the baby, asking again whether it’s going to be blue or pink, and rubbing says “Hello”. Very sweet. As the camera stays on him with his head resting on her belly, Abby tells him “Listen, I know we don’t say it, because I guess it’s just how we are …” as the shot switches to her as she earnestly continues “… but I hope you know how much I love …” and she hesitates before adding “… this”, then looking away shyly, “… all of this”. Yeah, that is so not how you were going to end that sentence, Abby. For God’s sake, don’t you two think it’s about time that you just Spit … It … Out?!? Jeez. Camera switches back to Luka, listening to her, narrowing his eyes a little but not saying anything, like he’s waiting her out. She sort of clears her throat, then continues self-consciously and kind of attempting to be casual about it, “But since we are on the cusp of this hugely life-altering event, and we haven’t been as specific as we could be about us … um … about our relationship …”, looking deep in thought, Luka hastily jumps in and says “You’re right. Let’s get married”. Abby stops to try to process this, because it seems that is so not what she was thinking. Uh oh, Luka. She furrows her brow and looks down at him. He still hasn’t moved his head from her belly, so he’s not looking at her, kind of like he’s hiding out a bit. We hear an ambulance in the distance as he waits for her to say something, flinching with a sort of “Oops” face, before finally deciding to break the silence and look up to see what she’s thinking. He looks at her expectantly, and she raises her eyebrows and grins quickly at him with a sort of “hmm” face, then looks down, no longer smiling.

After Opening Credits, Weaver enters what looks like a Board Room. Anspaugh is sitting on the right side of the table, and a woman with a laptop looking like she’s taking notes is sitting on the near left. Weaver apologizes for being late. As he stands, she tells him that she didn’t realize they were having the “pre-meeting”, so she went to his office, as he interrupts and tells her to have a seat. He explains that he wanted them to talk prior to the session with the Medical Executive Committee. Weaver looks a little surprised and starts to say something, then stops and sits down, across the table from Anspaugh. She grins, then glances over at the Notetaker, a little confused, then looks back at Anspaugh as he tells her that the fallout from Chi-Chi may be more significant than he thought. So is Chi-Chi gone for good? Weaver doesn’t say anything and just continues to look at him as he goes on that he’s been hearing things. She asks “What kind of things?” He puts on his glasses and picks up a piece of paper, telling her that it’s a letter from an attorney representing Mr. Fred Fong, a patient that Chi-Chi saw a few weeks back. Weaver remembers and says that he was a diabetic with a gangrenous toe and she reviewed the case. Anspaugh says that it ended up needing an amputation. Guess it’s so long, no more foot thong, eh, Fong? Weaver thinks it was a reasonable outcome for which Chi-Chi was completely blameless, as she glances over at Notetaker, who’s typing all this. Anspaugh takes off his glasses and explains that “the family sees an opportunity”. Weaver keeps looking over at Notetaker, then asks if they can talk in private. Anspaugh apologizes and says that it’s hospital policy and he needs this conversation documented. Weaver puts forth that Chi-Chi was cleared by the Impaired Physicians Committee and he never once tested positive for drugs, and she doesn’t believe he ever compromised patient care. Anspaugh’s not sure that matters. Weaver stares at him as he tells her that the State Board posts a “bad doctor” list on their website and that Chi-Chi is on it. Weaver puts her head in her hands as Anspaugh goes on that any idiot with a computer can access that. So what’s the website, Anspaugh? I got access … Weaver doesn’t think it gives them legal cause. Anspaugh wants to let the lawyers determine that but in the meantime the Board feels let down because they expect their Chief of Staff to exercise the utmost discretion in hiring. Weaver rationalizes that she needed an Attending, and she hired the best doctor she could find. Anspaugh comes back at her “Even when you knew his past history? What happened in Newark last year?” A little pissed, Weaver’s tired of hearing about Newark and that it was a very complicated situation, very unclear. Yeah, especially to the audience who still has no idea what the hell happened there, Weaver. Care to elaborate? … I guess not, as she continues that there were a lot of unsubstantiated allegations. Anspaugh thinks she should have kept her eye on him. Weaver passes the buck and says that she’s not down there, and she doesn’t run the ER anymore. This leads Anspaugh to a second issue. Uh oh, I have a bad feeling about this … He tells her that the Board has concerns about Luka’s ability to manage the department. Oh no, Luka … I knew there was a reason they had Abby remind you about it being “your department” last episode … here’s where you become the scapegoat … Weaver shakes her head at Anspaugh and protests “You’re not serious”. Anspaugh wants to know if she’s satisfied with the job he’s done. Well, Donald, her hair is looking pretty good right now, so I’m guessing she’s at least got to be satisfied with the good hair tips. Weaver hesitates, then says “He’s doing the best he can with what he has”. Nice, Weaver. Not exactly a ringing endorsement … Don’t put yourself out at all. I mean …gee … it’s not like you asked Luka’s girlfriend, and therefore, in de facto, him, to be your son’s guardian if something should happen to you, or anything … Asshat. Why am I getting the feeling you’ll hang Luka out to dry just like you did with Chen and Malucci over the Marfan’s patient in Season 8, Weaver? And if Luka’s being hung out for anything, it’s for me … Just saying … And real confidence you’re showing in the staff, too. Most, if not all, of whom, need I remind you, you hired, Kerry. Way to be supportive, bitch.

Luka, Abby, Haleh and Chuny are working on a patient in Trauma Yellow. Luka is writing on the chart, ordering to keep him on 100%, six of Pavulon. Abby, who’s listening to the patient’s chest, tells him that she gave him Norcuron. Not looking at her, Luka makes an “oh, okay” face and nods, still writing, and says “Fine … Dopamine to a systolic of 100”, as Abby wraps up her stethoscope and watches him, recognizing his aloofness and trying to get him to look at her. Luka asks if she called the ICU. In an “of course” tone, Abby replies “Ten minutes ago”. Luka purposely keeps avoiding looking at her and is acting distant towards her here like she acted towards him when she was presenting the patient with Epididymitis in Strange Bedfellows, before he let her know that he wasn’t going to Darfur. He finishes writing and says “Okay … fine”, then handing the chart to Chuny, talking and looking at her instead of Abby, says to find the patient a monitored bed until they get a room. Not sure what’s going on, Chuny responds that she’ll put him in Two as Abby tries to catch his eye as Luka turns and walks out. Abby puts up the siderail, then shares a “yeah, I know he’s avoiding me” look with Chuny and Haleh, then sighs and follows Luka out into the hallway. Her right hand is resting against the side of her baby belly. She walks up to where he’s standing looking at some x-rays and says knowingly “Cold shoulder, huh?” Starting to walk away he says “Well, not exactly the answer I was hoping to hear”. Abby says after him, kind of playfully, “Well, not exactly the best proposal I’ve ever heard”. He turns towards her, throws his hands up slightly and says “How many have you heard?” Ouch … that’s a bit nasty, Luka. Abby rightfully rolls her eyes, throwing up her right hand in a “I’m not even going to bother” gesture, turns and starts to walk away from him. Duh, Luka … you have to know that she’s at least heard one and it must have been better than yours since she obviously said “yes” and ended up getting married. Jeez. And what is it about you, Abby, that makes guys blurt out proposals to you in such half-assed ways? At least Luka didn’t scream that he wanted to marry you on the hospital rooftop, over the noise of the wind and helicopters. I mean, it was a bit more intimate than that, what with his head resting on the Lukaby bump, but still. Luka stops her and leaning on the counter so that he’s eye level with her asks “So you don’t know what you want this to be …” and they start talking over each other as she starts to interrupt “No …”, and he continues “… how committed … how not committed”, and she continues “… I just don’t want to get married for the sake of getting married … I tried that once”. Oooh, that’s a very telling statement, Abby. So you’re thinking this proposal is coming strictly because of the baby situation? Hmmm … Since I speak jive … I mean “Luka/Abby-ese” … I’ll translate this next exchange for you … Luka leans a little closer to her and pointedly asks, “Don’t we love each other?” (Translation: “I know that I love you, and I thought you loved me, I mean … you do … don’t you?”). She replies “It’s not about that” (“It’s not that I don’t love you)”, then in response to the change in his expression, she quickly adds “Of course we do”, (“Of course I love you”). Wow. Even though she said “of course we do” in such an offhand, throwaway type way, Abby just admitted that she loves him, and that’s the closest Abby’s ever come to actually uttering the words “I love you” to anyone but her mother on this show that we’ve seen. And he’s just admitted he loves her, so this is kind of a pretty big deal. He holds up his hand, cutting off whatever else she was going to say and asks “Don’t you think we should stay together forever” (“Don’t you think our hair has never looked better and you want it to stay that way?”). She looks down and answers “Well, I don’t know if anybody should … or can …” (“Hairstyle fashions change all the time, and I’ve been through so many on this show and what with the crazy genes and my insecurities having insecurities, I can’t be confident that this wave is permanent”). Though I would rather have heard them actually say the words, I like that this “love” stuff seems to be like a settled thing between them … and how he thinks they’ll be together forever, but Abby being Abby, doesn’t know if anyone can say that. Morris appears down the hall and yells “Paging Dr. Lockhart”, and Abby looks over at him as Luka keeps eyeing her. She looks back at Luka and pleads with him sincerely “I just … let me get through one humongous life change at a time. Okay?” (“Just let me deal with the inevitable post-pregnancy hair fallout and slowdown of appointments in the Salon before we talk about more intensive treatments and expansion of services”). Chewing on his lips and leaning his mouth against his right hand, Luka looks at her and shakes his head slightly, not happy. Weaver appears behind him and calls over, asking if he’s got a minute. He turns to her and says “Yeah” before turning back to Abby, who is watching him expectantly. He tells her “Sometimes it’s easier if you lump them all together”, as Abby gives him a “surely you can’t be serious” face and head tilt. Yeah, every girl’s dream to have marriage thought of that way. Cute but clueless, that’s our loveable Luka. What were you thinking, Luka? Thought you knew by now, at least you seemed to get it in Strange Bedfellows when she thought you were going to Darfur, that all you have to do is let Abby babble for a bit, which she was doing in that first scene, and not interrupt and she will eventually get to the point. And it so seems that Luka’s been thinking about this for a while, or why else would he be so pissy about her answer to such a lameass-ly proposed proposal? It was almost like he was waiting for her to give him an opening, and then he jumped right on in there, sort of like he did in I Do when he pounced on her before she even finished asking him “Would you like to …?” Where there he was rewarded by, you know, getting some himself, here he’s penalized for getting somewhat ahead of himself. Your own fault, you schmuck. Typical Abby, she was gently pushing him to define their relationship again, and then when he moved a little ahead of where she was going, she backpedaled a bit to the taking-one-thing-at-a-time stance. That proposal, the casual “don’t we love each other” and then “sometimes it’s easier when you lump it all together” probably didn’t do much to instill the girl with confidence that it’s about her and not simply about the baby, Luka. I honestly don’t blame her for holding out for a better proposal. Abby’s self-doubt always makes her back off a little and put up the pessimistic defense – that she’s not sure anyone “can” be together forever – of course she’s not, she’s never been able to trust that she won’t be left, because everyone always ends up leaving her, even if she does sometimes push them away, too, which is sort of just a self-fulfilling prophecy thing. And even though he didn’t go to Darfur and chose instead to stay with her, he considered it, which can’t exactly fill her with the warm oatmeal feeling either. They again are doing the dance they do where they don’t fully just spit … it … out, so it leaves them to hear the words the other is saying, but not really take in the full meaning. I don’t think it’s because they don’t understand each other, but because even though they’ve come a really long way in communicating, they still hold back a little. And they use words in almost all of their conversations that each can interpret in their own way. Since Abby hasn’t completely shut the door on the whole marriage thing, methinks this conversation is so going to be revisited. Luka looks at Abby a last time before turning and walking over to Weaver.

Luka and Weaver start walking down the hall. He asks her how her hip is and she says that it’s good and thanks him, adding that it’s better all the time. She tells him that it looks like he’ll be short an Attending after all because she has to attend an emergency Med Exec Committee meeting. She stops him outside the Exam Rooms and in a lowered voice says that Risk Management is coming to advise them on the Chi-Chi situation. Luka wants to know what situation, he’s gone. Weaver tells him that there’s some potential litigation that they are getting some heat about. Luka’s a little surprised, then moving his hand back and forth referring to both of them asks “We’re getting some heat?” She reminds him that it’s his department. Luka tells her that Chi-Chi was her hire and was on-staff even before he moved up to this job. Weaver replies that she knows that because she’s the one who moved him up. Luka’s not getting it and asks “So what? I should have fired him sooner?” Weaver again lowers her voice and steps back as an orderly moves a cart of supplies past them. She tells Luka that the warning signs were there and he had the authority. Luka wants to know if he’s going to lose his job over this. Weaver explains that all she’s saying is that if she weren’t Chief of Staff, she’s not so sure he’d be Department Head, “So let’s just get through this, okay?” Yeah, she will so throw him to the wolves if needs be … She walks away, leaving Luka to look after her pursing his lips prettily … and a little worriedly. Poor Luka … no sleep, no acceptance of his crappy marriage proposal, no job security … yeah, his day basically sucks … Probably should have known that when you decided to dress in the scrubs today with the long sleeved dark blue t-shirt underneath, Luka. Nothing good ever comes of you in scrubs. Now out of scrubs is a different story … Most likely would have had a better day if you were in one of the Luka Blues. I know I would have. Yum.

Pratt knocks on Abby’s apartment door and calls Neela. She’s opens it and he tells her that he’s not used to getting stood up. I honestly have to wonder why since you’re just used to stepping out on your girlfriend, then try to make up by giving her back earrings that you found in your apartment, that happen not to be hers. Asshole. Neela tells him that she’s not going. He promises that it’s going to be fine. She thinks that going means saying goodbye and saying goodbye means … forgetting. Pratt feels that it doesn’t have to. Neela can’t help it and she says it started already because she can’t remember his branches … I mean “hands” … the sound the wind makes when rustling through him … um, I mean “his voice” … Pratt sighs and asks if he can come in.

Sitting now, Pratt plays with his tie as Neela, with her hands folded and up against her lips says that she keeps asking herself why he went back and says it’s like a hammer in her head. Pratt thinks he did what he wanted to do, what he needed to do. Pratt thinks it’s not a bad way to go. Oh, yeah, Pratt … being blown to splinters is so much more preferable than possibly living a long full life with your wife before finally succumbing to rotting from Dutch Elm’s Disease. Neela says that he was 29 years old and he was blown up by a bomb. Pratt agrees that it’s a tragedy, and to believe him, he’s not saying that it isn’t. Yeah, mighty big of you there, Pratt. Dumbass. But Pratt thinks Deadwood wanted to be a part of something bigger than himself … What, like a forest? A log cabin? A box of kindling? Pratt thinks that two months ago he would have laughed at that, because wood shavings are always hilarious. But now … Pratt thinks Deadwood put himself out there and sometimes that means taking risks and doing things that you could never imagine yourself doing because you have this crazy idea that you just might make a difference. Pratt believes that nobody wants to forget “Michael”. Who? Oh, yeah … forgot for a second … Pratt thinks “we all want to remember him” and the shade he provided in the summer, the fruit he bore in the fall, the fires he kept burning in the winter, and the leaves he sprouted in the spring … Pratt thinks that’s exactly what today is all about. Neela sighs.

Close-up of Abby through a video camera. Scratching her lip, she says “Smart … uh, efficient …” and really fumbling says “um … loyal friend” and shakes her head a bit, as we see Morris recording her and prompting her to say “sexier”. Yeah, okay, Morris. You’re forgetting who her Shampoo Boy is. Really don’t think that word and you are even in the same universe … Abby sneers and mocks “Sexier?” and I’m so with you on the incredulity, Abby. Morris tells her to say something about his charm and Abby looks at him like he’s nuts. Hee. He tells her to say something like “A man whose charm with women is matched only by his sensitivity to his patients”. She smirks and looks at the camera saying “This is stupid” and gets up to walk away saying “Forget it”. He follows her saying “Abs, this is it!” She scoffs “Abs? Don’t call me Abs.” Hee. She’s holding the side of the baby belly again so either the harness is slipping and Maura Tierney is trying to keep it from falling off, or she’s playing like Abby is getting a stitch in her right side, which I can so totally relate to. Morris says that he is out of there today and she won’t have Archie Morris to kick around anymore. Why am I suddenly feeling euphoric … and the sun is all of a sudden shining brightly at 10:00 p.m. … and a choir of angels is singing “Alleluia”? … Could it possibly be true?... Dare I even write the words? … Can Morris really be … leaving??? Praise the Lord and pass the biscuits. But it can’t possibly be July, can it? I thought his new job wasn’t starting until then? Fish told us in the “Previously’s” that Plank’s wood chipping was April 29th, so wouldn’t this still be May? Ow, I think I’m getting a stitch in my brain … Abby again asks, annoyed, “Abs???” Hee. Morris thinks you can’t blame a guy for wanting to carry around some fond memories. Abby tells him sarcastically that he’s not going to Kilimanjaro and that he’s going to Ladokern Pharmaceuticals, seven city blocks from County, as Jerry walks by and corrects “Six and a half”. Abby doesn’t think people make memory videos unless they’re getting married. Oh, so did you and Richard make one Abby? Considering you two can barely stand each other, I’d so like to see that. And is that why you don’t want to marry Luka? Afraid of what people might say when being filmed for posterity? Abby snidely says “And besides which, they don’t film them themselves, so the person is held hostage to say nice things”. Hee. Morris thinks she didn’t seem held hostage, and he had expected far better material out of her. Really? Since when has she ever had a nice thing to say about you, Morris? Abby retorts “Well you were feeding me the lines, Fassbinder”. That would be funny if I really could believe that Abby would actually be up on New German Cinema directors. Morris asks “Oh, what was that, some kind of nasty Croatian words?” Hee. And if I were Abby, I would so get Luka to teach me some of those … as well as some other kinds of nasty Croatian stuff … Just saying … Morris adds “Something about me and a goat?” Hee. Why does that remind me of Luka and his friend Gordana talking in Season 9 about how Luka and his buddies had to do artificial respiration on a goat in med school?

Jerry walks up to Morris with a giant strawberry and introduces it to Morris as “Timmy Jankowski”, who overindulged at the buffet of his school’s spring pageant. Morris quips “Let me guess … fruit salad”. Yummy, yummy. Strawberry Kid scowls at him and says “You must be the funny guy”. Your strawberry must really be bruised, kid, if you actually think that. Jerry says that the school nurse brought him in and his parents are on the way. Morris thinks that since it’s his last day and that he is Chief Resident, he designates Lockhart. Abby turns around at the Desk and says “Excuse me?” Morris says that he’s out of there in about ten hours and he calls no kids for the duration. He hands her the chart and says that he’s sick of getting bit, kicked, and pissed on, and Abby cracks “Guess you stopped dating, too, huh?” Hee.

Zadro the Paramedic is bringing in an old guy on a gurney, with two elderly women walking next to it. Zadro says that he’s a 71-year-old male found slumped over in a parked car, GCS-224, and hands Abby the chart. Abby tells Jerry to put Strawberry Kid in Curtain One and she’ll try to be right back, and tells Strawberry Kid to take it easy. He says “Easy? I’m a freakin’ strawberry”, as Jerry chuckles and leads him to a bed. He asks him if his stomach’s hurting pretty bad, and Strawberry Kid says “Kinda”. Jerry lifts him up onto the bed and tells him to try pinching himself, as the kid tries but he’s all caught up in the costume. Jerry says to let him do it, and he pinches Strawberry Kid’s arm, who yelps “Owww!”, and then muffled because of the costume “That hurt!” Jerry grins at him and says “But you’re not thinking about your stomach, now, are you?” as Strawberry Kid tries to move, but flails around and falls over. Hee. And why am I getting an image of Jerry saying “Timmy, do you like movies about … gladiators?”

Elderly Lady 1 is telling Abby that when Old Guy didn’t show up for the bus trip to Bloomington, they knew something was wrong. Zadro fills in that they are all part of the same church group. Abby rubs Old Guy’s sternum and asks if he can wake up for her, but he just groans a little. Elderly Lady 2 says that they prayed and prayed, and then they started seeing things. Elderly 1 chimes in that everybody thought Old Guy was dead and Elderly 2 smiles and says “But we found him”. She tells Abby that their visions led them to right to him and Elderly 1 adds “half a mile from the church”, as Abby just kind of stares back and forth between them. Elderly 2 wants to know if Abby can save him. Abby smiles and says that they are going to do their best and starts to head into the Exam Room as Elderly 2 thanks her.

Morris Cam again … this time with a bored looking Sam who mutters “And … uh …” then blows out her lips and sighs, at a loss for what to say. Sam’s hair is awfully blonde, and pretty awful, and her eyebrows are quite dark, and the whole thing makes her look kind of washed out. Sam thinks of something and looks in the camera saying “You should be very proud, Mr. and Mrs. Morris” as Morris cuts her off, closing the camera and exposits “Mama Morris is dead”. Nice respect for your dead mother there, Morris. Jerk. He wants Sam to take it one more time, as she looks disgustedly at him and Natasha comes over and says that “Holly” says they need them in Exam Three. Sam questions “Holly?” as Morris keeps filming them and Natasha answers “You know, that other nurse”. Sam says “Haleh?” then nods and tells Morris that she has to go. Morris films them walking away and Sam yells over her shoulder that the old lady in Three’s still waiting on a rectal. Morris follows after them saying “No, no, no … not on my last day. No rectals, no geezers”. Sam does the Botox-inducing scowl back at him and asks if there are any patients that he’s actually willing to examine and he says “Yeah. Hot chicks”. Does he mean Rob Schneider? And for what I hope to God will be the last time … Shut up, Morris!

Natasha hands Sam the chart and says that she got the vitals like she asked on the medium-timer. Sam corrects “Mediastinum”, which is the partition separating the right and left thoracic cavities. Thanks, InfoPlease. She adds “mediastinal mass” and Natasha “whatever” ‘s her. Somehow … someday … somewhere, I really just want to smack Natasha. She tells Sam that she had to pry the patient’s cell phone off her ear to check her temp and continues that the patient thinks she’s a bitch for taking the phone away “But you know what? This is a hospital. We’ve got a job to do”, as Sam points something out and asks if she wrote it, and reads “BP 28/17?” Natasha wants to know if she did it wrong. Sam says that 28/17 is practically dead, not eating Jell-O or chatting on your cell phone. Natasha apologizes and says that she’s new to this. Sam looks over at a young female patient, who looks like a model, sitting on an exam chair in the hall, eating green Jell-O and talking on the phone. I thought Natasha said she took it away? Nice continuity in the same scene, ER. Sam asks “Does she look dead to you?” and Natasha admits “Not right now”. As they walk down the hall, Sam tells her that before she takes any more vitals, she needs to know what’s normal and what’s not and if she’s not sure, then she should get some help.

Sam and Natasha enter Exam Three where Abby is examining Old Guy. Sam asks her what she has and Abby says “obtunded with bradycardia” and says she need .5 of atropine, CBC, chem.. 7, ABG, tox screen, and set up for transcutaneous pacing, which eMedicine tells me is an external pacemaker. Abby says that Old Guy has no gag and she has to tube him. Sam asks the Elderly Ladies what happened to their friend as Abby asks for 8-0 and a mac tube. Elderly 1 thinks Old Guy must have passed out at the wheel, and Elderly 2 puts forth “Not from drinking” and says Old Guy is not like that. Sam tells Abby that the atropine is in and Abby tells her to have another dose ready to go and that she needs some suction. I know Luka’s a little mad at you Abby, but I’m sure he’d still be more than willing to fulfill your suction needs, so I really don’t think you have to resort to asking Sam. Sam asks the Elderlies if Old Guy is taking any medications as Natasha watches what she and Abby are doing. Elderly 2 thinks he may be taking something for his pressure. Abby gets the tube in as a random really tall nurse bags Old Guy. Sam calls out that the heart rate is down to 38, then bitches that Old Guy’s IV blew and says that they lost the pulse. Abby says to start compressions and he needs to be paced. Sam asks Natasha if she knows CPR and she says she does, a little. Is this like her first day at EMT school? ‘Cause she really doesn’t know shit. Sam says “good” and tells her to go.

Strawberry Kid is out of his costume and lying on bed, with Ray examining his right ear. Jerry asks Strawberry if he’s ever been in a Turkish prison … then how he auditioned for the role but Strawberry says that he didn’t and that he wanted to be the “bad bunny”. What, does he want to work at the Playboy Mansion for Hef or something? Jerry says that he wanted to play the Cowardly Lion once, but he had to play a munchkin, which Ray doesn’t quite believe and Jerry says it was before his growth spurt. Hee. Ray is checking Strawberry’s belly and says there’s no tenderness, guarding or rebound. He asks Strawberry if he thinks he could eat a popsicle and maybe it would help settle things down and Jerry says he’ll get him one and says “Let me guess … strawberry?” as Strawberry channels Abby and rolls his eyes at him.

Morris is still filming, this time pointing the camera at himself and narrating that here comes their trusty paramedic, Brian Dumar, who is bringing in yet another needy patient, as Ray walks by and gives peace signs at the camera. Dumar wheels in a guy with a bandage wrapped around his head and says that he’s a 28-year-old with blunt head trauma, altered LOC, and stable vitals. Bandage guy starts yelling back through the doors “Bitch-sucker! Rabid dog, I’ll send you to hell!” Dumar says there was a nasty fight in detention and the sparring partner is right behind him. Morris says to take him to Trauma Two and Ray will be right there. Ray questions “What?” and Morris adds “no prisoners” to his ever-increasing list of patients he won’t see. Bandage Guy yells back “I’ll send you all to hell!”, and obviously you don’t watch this show, Bandage Guy, because I think they’re already there. Morris yells after him “Kiss your cellmate with that mouth”. Hee.

Morris walks over to the next gurney, where we see an agitated Sleaze shouting after Bandage Guy “I’m right here, you dumb bastard!” And this tame cursing really doesn’t pack the same punch, so to speak, of a few choice four letter words dropped here and there. Doris the Paramedic is trying to give Morris the bullet, but Sleaze’s shrieking is drowning her out. Prison Guard tells him to “Shut it!” and I am so with you on that, Prison Guard. Doris says that he opened up his recent surgical scar and Morris asks Sleaze if his belly hurts. Sleaze wants Morris to put him in with Bandage Guy and he’ll save them the trouble. Morris recognizes him and tells him it’s nice to see him. Uh, yeah, okay Morris. Doris says that he’s recovering from an appendectomy and must have ripped open his stitches as Morris lifts up Sleaze’s shirt to show a gaping belly wound. Yuck. Morris says that it’s not good and tells them that Ray will be right with them.

Natasha is doing compressions on Old Guy and asks how long she has to keep it up. Sam shoots her a look as Abby calls for an epi infusion, 10 mikes per minute, and takes over bagging from Random Tall Nurse. Elderly 2 tells them that Old Guy is very healthy, very virile, as Sam hears shouting in the hall and looks out the window to see Sleaze being wheeled by. Luka walks in and asks for an update as Sam stares and Botox-scowls after Sleaze. Abby tells Luka that it’s bradycardic arrest and there’s no response to atro, and no capture with pacing. Luka looks at Natasha and asks her what she’s doing and she answers “CPR”. Pulling gloves on, Luka bitches that she can’t possibly hope to perfuse the brain that way. Sam glances up at him as Natasha asks “fuse the what?” Luka orders her to step back. When she doesn’t right away, he says it more forcefully. He asks Abby “Who is she?” and Natasha asks snottily “Who are you?” Sam explains that she’s “Mary” and she’s an EMT trainee and looks over at Abby before glancing back at Luka, then says that Natasha’s shadowing the nurses today. Luka is doing the fast compressions on Old Guy that Chi-Chi was showing them about last episode. Luka complains that Sam should be showing Natasha the right way to do things, as Abby purses her lips, but doesn’t say anything and keeps bagging. Luka introduces himself to Natasha and says that he’s the Attending physician and the ER Chief and tells her to let him train her a bit. She smirks at him as he condescendingly continues “100 times a minute and you should really compress the chest”. Quick cut to:

Pratt in the back of the limo, looking out the window before turning his attention to Neela, who is staring out the other window, expressionless. Fish is also in the car and hesitates a little before informing Neela that there’ll be a military honor, as requested. Neela looks at him and says that she didn’t request that. Fish tells her that Colonel and Mrs. Deadwood did. Pratt thinks it sounds like something he might want. Fish says that after the ceremony, they’ll head out to the reception in Lincoln Park. Neela says tonelessly “Canapes will be served”. Since Neela apparently knows what they are, maybe she can fill Abby in, since Abby didn’t seem to know and made Carter act all ashamed of her when she dared to ask Gamma to explain back in Season 9. Neela again stares out the window, not really seeing anything.

Sam hangs up the phone in the Exam Room and says “It’ll be ready in a half an hour” and walks back over to Old Guy’s bed. Abby tells Luka that the sedation is wearing off and he’s trying to self extubate, as she pushes Old Guy’s hand back down to his side. Filling out the chart, Luka tells her to give him a few minutes then she can pull it and send him up. Luka seems to still not be looking at Abby, so I guess he’s not through sulking yet. He signs off on the chart and lays it down on Old Guy. Sam asks him if she can get a minute and he tells her sure and Natasha watches them walk out. Abby tells the Elderlies that Old Guy’s heart is beating well now and he looks good, as she hands the bagging back over to Random Tall Nurse. Smiling, the Elderlies ask him if he can hear and tell him that he’s okay. Abby tosses her gloves and tells them that Old Guy probably took too many pills by accident. Elderly 1 admits that he gets confused sometimes and Elderly 2 asks if they can go now, and take him home. Abby says no, probably not for a couple of days. Fidgeting, the Elderlies stare at her, and Abby asks if something is the matter. Elderly 2 tells her that there is something bad there, and she can feel it. Abby chuckles and says that she feels that every day and goes back to writing on the chart. Elderly 2 asks her “Is everything all right with your baby?” Ooh, that was creepy. Abby pauses, then looks up at her, a little surprised, and tries to grin like she’s reassuring them and maybe herself and says “It’s fine”. She looks back down at the chart and Elderly 1 asks her if she’s a believer. This is getting really weird and Abby seems to be getting that vibe, too. Not looking up, she sort of shakes her head slightly and blows out a breath like she really doesn’t want to be hearing this, as Elderly 2 tells her “You must be very brave, then … I could never have brought a child into this world if I didn’t have faith”. Abby looks up at her as Elderly 1 adds “In a higher power” and Elderly 2 echoes it and they both say “Amen”, as Abby looks back and forth between them.

Sam apologizes to Luka about what happened in the Exam Room. He berates her that she’s a senior nurse and he expects her to know what’s going on around her and he wants her to be exact about the meds. She says she knows it’s just that Natasha is kind of dragging her down. Luka’s sure that Sam will whip her into shape and they both head off. Sam walks with Natasha who says “My bad, I guess” then adds “He sure is a Gloomy Gus”, and she thinks he needs to lighten up a bit. Normally I would jump all over her ass for daring to disparage my Luka at all, but I kind of have to agree with her. He is a bit grumpy today, though I suppose he has some reason, and I’m always appreciative of his attractiveness with the sexy broods. I’m thinking a good lathering then rinsing in the Hair Salon with his Hairdresser would do him wonders, though I’m guessing with the troublesomely trying third trimester, she might not be up for it, so I’d like to at this time volunteer my services, Luka. And there would definitely be some repeating. Just saying. Sam watches Prison Guard enter Sutures, carrying a cup of coffee, as she tells Natasha that it’s Luka’s department. Ray walks out of Trauma Green and calls over to her. He tells her he needs to tube his patient and he needs her to draw induction meds. She asks him “Steve’s here?” Ray says that he got into a little jail yard altercation but he’s okay, the belly’s benign and it looks like superficial dehiscence. Sam asks if Sleaze needs anything but Ray says that he’ll get somebody else to redress the wounds. He goes back into the Trauma Room and Sam tells Natasha that she’ll get her a CPR dummy after this and she can practice compressions in the lounge. Natasha thinks she’s had enough CPR for one day. Ray is listening to Bandage Guy’s chest and says that the GCS is 11 and the resps are shallow. Sam explains to Natasha that sometimes if you hit your head bad enough, you can stop breathing, as she fills a syringe and Natasha puts a stethoscope in her ears. Natasha asks if then you do mouth to mouth. Ray says no and explains that you put a tube in his trachea and breathe for him with a vent. Sam explains that what she’s filling the syringe with is Veck and it knocks him out so they can do the intubation, as Natasha weirdly watches her intently. Natasha takes the BP and says that it’s 132/84. Sam smiles and tells her “Good”. She tells Ray that the pulse ox is up to 99, which Ray thinks is excellent and thinks that they’ll lay off the tube for now because he’s doing okay, as Bandage Guy, no longer sporting the bandage, starts to wake up. Another Prison Guard wants to know how long he has to wait on “Miss Congeniality here?” Ray thinks Former Bandage Guy needs to be admitted for observation. Former Bandage Guy removes his oxygen mask and calls Another Prison Guard a “jerk off”. Another Prison Guard rattles the siderail Former Bandage Guy is handcuffed to and taunts him “Come on, Hendrix, we’re missing lunch. Gumbo Thursday”. Sam Botox-scowls and says “Hey! You know as long as they’re here they’re our patients, not your prisoners”, as she raises the head of Former Bandage Guy’s bed. Another Prison Guard thinks they’re always their prisoners. Former Bandage Guy looks at Sam and tells her that it’s been a while since he’s seen that. She asks what and he tells her “compassion”. Sam looks over to see Sleaze watching from his bed in Sutures, with Prison Guard standing next to him.

Lone horn blows “Taps” as Pratt and Neela sit stone-faced at the gravesite. Camera pans to Dee, looking like she’s about to break down at any moment, then over to Winston, impassive. And it looks like it might be Val, Deadwood’s sister who hooked up with Pratt in Season 10, sitting between them. Gun salute causes everyone to flinch. Honor Guard folds the American flag over the casket as Neela watches. As they go through the ceremonial folding, Neela flashes back to the argument she had with Plank in the empty apartment they were seeing and him telling her that it is too dangerous over there and she protests that it’s too dangerous for her, but it’s okay for him, and what a load of crap that is. He comes back at her that he’s a soldier and asks her if she remembers that, and she retorts that he’s also a husband and does he remember that? Back to Neela at the cemetery and the Guard folding the flag into a triangle. Another flash, this time to Season 10 and a sad Plank is sitting next to a patient that died telling her that it seems kind of silly now but out in the Ambulance Bay that morning he was thinking about asking her out, and she tells him that she was thinking of saying yes. Return to the present and Guardsmen exchanging the flag as Neela remembers spotting Plank getting out of a taxi across the street from her apartment after she had a totally shitty day almost dying in a burning building in Two Ships and how she ran to him and threw herself into his arms. Guardsmen back away from the casket and one comes over to present the flag to Neela, who takes it, dispassionately. Another soldier approaches her with a box with Plank’s medal as she looks at him, looking like she might start to get emotional, and flashes to Plank’s leaving and her telling him that he’d better come back and him saying he will before getting in the cab, leaving Neela on the sidewalk, tears falling. Neela stares at the medals, but makes no move to take them. Dee looks over at her, then takes the box from the soldier. Cut to Neela again staring out the window of the limo.

Former Bandage Guy asks Sam how he’s doing. She tells him that his CT’s normal, but it looks like he’ll be spending the night. He deadpans “Lucky me”. Sam jokes that he’s got a standard issue jumpsuit, and armed guard and a major head injury, and “What, you’re not the luckiest guy in the world?” She puts some gauze against a wound on his neck and he says that it could be worse, he could be dead, and Sam can’t argue with that because dead would be bad. Oh, ya think? Former Bandage Guy tells her that Sleaze started it. Sam asks “Is that so?” and glances over at Natasha. Former Bandage Guy says that he’s made some mistakes in his day, but “that guy’s a wrong number”, and advises her to stay away from him. Oh, if only you were there 13 years ago, Former Bandage Guy, to tell her this so that we might not have had to be subjected to their psycho spawn. Sam thanks him and says that she’s going to go check on the guy in Sutures. Natasha asks if Former Bandage Guy should get a bandage on his neck. That would be great, Natasha, because then I wouldn’t have to keep typing “Former”, but Sam has to ruin it by shaking her head and saying “Just a little Neosporin”. She hands Former Bandage Guy a container and tells her that they are going to need some urine. Natasha says that she’ll check his vitals because Sam said every 30 minutes and it’s been 35. He says that he’s not going to pee in front of everyone and Sam tells Natasha to use the screen and she nods.

Sam goes into Sutures and Sleaze says “Hey” and she asks him what’s going on. He says he’s getting to be a regular as Prison Guard tells him to leave the nurse alone. Sam says it’s all right, they know each other. Sam puts on gloves and starts fiddling with some stuff and Sleaze asks her what it is. She says that it’s a moist-to-dry dressing, and that they soak gauze in saline and pack it, as she places it on his wound. Sleaze makes a face and gasps, like it really stings. Sleaze glances over at Trauma Green and through the door window, we see Natasha come up behind Another Prison Guard and puts something over his mouth. Another Prison Guard starts to struggle as Sleaze watches all this. Sam asks him how he did this and he says that the jerk tried to “shiv” him as the Hammy Harbinger of Fishy Felons starts pounding. Sam cracks “Bible group got outta hand, huh?” as Prison Guard chuckles and Sleaze jokes that he tried to snag his smokes. Prison Guard thinks these dudes will beef it up over anything. Sam thought Sleaze was trying to turn things around. Sleaze says that he is as we see Natasha unhooking Former Bandage Guy’s handcuffs and he jumps up off the gurney. Sleaze promises Sam that he is, and keeps watching what is going on in the other room. Sam tells him that he’s got to stay out of trouble as Natasha enters. She starts to say what Former Bandage Guy’s BP is, then pulls out a gun, cocks it, and holds it up against Prison Guard’s temple, telling him “Nice and easy, dumbass” as Sleaze takes his gun. Camera zooms in on Sam, who, a little slow on the uptake, isn’t understanding what she is seeing, but realizes it as soon as Natasha points the gun at her and orders her to pull the blinds. Former Bandage Guy drags in unconscious Another Prison Guard as Sam just stares at Natasha. Former Bandage Guy locks the door to Trauma Green and Sam challenges Natasha “Are you out of your mind?” Natasha yells at her “Pull the blinds, bitch!”

A heavy-set older lady with a sling on her arm and a thick accent is saying into the Morris Cam slowly and deliberately “Handsome … sensitive”, as the camera shows Morris flipping over pages with words written on them, the latest being “Generous”, which Accent Lady pronounces. Morris turns to “debonair”, which she says, then to the next page and Accent Lady says questioningly “Macho?”, then asks “What is this ‘macho’?” Instead of trying to explain since he knows she wouldn’t buy it anyway, Morris closes up the camera and says “Thank you, Sveta, … that’s good” and walks away past Jerry and Strawberry playing some video game, and arguing about who’s winning, on an Admit computer. Timmy, did you ever hang around a gymnasium? Luka and Ray walk by and Luka says “Don’t cheat, Jerry” and they keep walking. Nice. Don’t they have this kind of stuff up in the Children’s Ward? Why do they have to use an ER work computer? Way to keep track of the productivity of your staff there, Luka. No wonder Weaver’s got a problem with you. Ray tells Luka that they have to move Old Guy to another room because the cops are coming in. Luka wants to know what for and Ray tells him that there was a Missing Person’s report and he’s got to follow it up. Luka is looking at a chart and asks Ray who did the initial workup on “Migraine Guy”. Ray says that it was Sam and Natasha. Luka says that the vitals are completely wrong, and asks where Sam is. Ray says “In with Prisoner #1”, and Luka stops saying “What?” Ray explains that Sleaze and another guy came in and he guesses they had some sort of jail fight. Luka clarifies “Sleaze is here, again?” and Ray nods. Totally displeased, Luka slams down the chart and storms away.

Prison Guard and Another Prison Guard are knocked out, tied up, and leaning against the cabinets in Sutures. Former Bandage Guy is getting dressed into Another Prison Guard’s uniform. He explains to Sam how it’s going to go and that she’s going to walk them out of there like Sleaze is going back to lock-up. Sam tells Sleaze that this is it, if he crosses this line, there is no stepping back from it. He tells her that they’ve got him, on all kinds of stuff. Sam stares at him and disgustedly says “You are such an idiot”. Oh, I can think of much worse words than that to call him, Sam. Come on …use your imagination. At least throw a “jerk off” or “dick” or “asswipe” at him … Sleaze protests that he’s not getting out any time soon, and Sam screams at him vehemently, “And that is what you deserve!” Former Bandage Guy wants to move things along and asks Sam if there is anything they haven’t anticipated, this is the time to mention it, as Natasha peeks through the blinds into the hallway.

Luka stomps down the hall as the Dramatic Drone of “Oh, Shit!” Moments starts up, and like the Elderlies, I am so getting the feeling something bad is going to happen. As he walks by Trauma Green, he looks in and notices that the patient who’s supposed to be in there, isn’t. He strides purposefully towards Sutures and tries to open the door. Realizing it’s locked, he calls out “Hey open up”. Natasha looks out the blinds and tells him “Just a second”, before closing them again. Everyone in the room exchanges glances as we see Luka getting more aggravated and starts pounding on the door “Come on”. Sam worriedly shakes her head as Former Bandage Guy cocks his gun and nods for Natasha to open it, as Sleaze slides behind the door. Natasha opens the door, and says “hi” as Luka pushes past her and asks what’s going on. He walks in only to have Former Bandage Guy stick the gun in his face and tell him to sit down. Luka stops and Sleaze starts to push him further in the room so they can close the door. Luka looks over at Sam, who’s got a really pained expression on her face and her arms folded across her chest. Former Bandage Guy again tells Luka to sit down, and Luka waits for Sleaze to start to move in front of him, then he quickly grabs Sleaze from behind in a choke hold. Sam rushes Former Bandage Guy, telling him not to shoot. Luka is on Sleaze’s back and Sleaze is trying to pull him off. Natasha reaches up and sticks a needle in Luka’s shoulder. Luka grunts, but doesn’t let go of Sleaze. Sam yells “Luka!” They’re making an awful lot of noise, but apparently no one can hear them. Sam is struggling with Former Bandage Guy, who is telling her to shut up. Luka is still holding on to Sleaze, who elbows him in the stomach and Luka lets go, falling onto the bed. Former Bandage Guy has his arm tight around Sam, who can’t get loose, and is pointing the gun at Luka. Sleaze grabs his gun and pistol whips Luka, who falls to the floor. Noooooo!!! Don’t hurt the pretty!!! Sam wants to know what Natasha gave Luka. Natasha says that it was the stuff Sam was going to give “Rafe”, aka Former Bandage Guy. Sam is horrified, “Veck?! You gave him Veck?!” Oh no, I am guessing that is so not a good thing and now I’m feeling as alarmed as Sam obviously is … Sleaze slams his foot down on Luka’s face … No!!! Not the face!!! Anything but the face!!! Aaaaaaaarrrrrggghhhh!!! You are soooo lucky you are a fictional character, Sleaze, because I would so go bitchcakes on you right now!!! And believe me, my vocabulary is much better than Sam’s … Cocksucker … Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop smoking.

After commercial, the Discordant Dirge of Pulverized Pretty’s dins as Sam is on the floor, struggling to turn an unconscious Luka over onto his back as Rafe and Natasha stand there looking bored, and Sleaze leans against the bed, holding his side, like he’s in pain. Hurts, huh, Sleaze? Good! Friggin’ asshole. Sam is feeling Luka’s neck for a pulse, then worriedly leans her face down and puts her hand on his chest to feel if he’s breathing, as I just keep feeling sicker and sicker. I know how to spell relief and could really use a Rolaids about now … Why oh why did it have to be Luka who walked into the room? Why not Morris? Then I could take a break, make some popcorn, pay some bills, catch up on my correspondence, balance my checkbook, read the newspaper … Ooh, there’s a sale at Penney’s! … while she tried to save him. Anyone but my Luka … Instead, I’ve already chewed off half my fingernails and am cursing my lack of willpower for not sticking with yoga long enough to get limber and flexible enough to be able to gnawl on my toenails. Oh, Luka … Distressed, Sam points and tells Natasha to get her the ambu-mask. Natasha grabs it and nonchalantly asks “This thing?” and Sam says yes, grabbing it. She tells Natasha “That was vecuronium … you gave him vecuronium” as she puts the mask on Luka’s face and starts squeezing the bag. Natasha doesn’t see what the big deal is because Sam was going to give it to Rafe and she said it would knock him out. Sam tells her that it paralyzes his muscles and he’s not breathing. Oh God … Sleaze tells her, “Let’s go, Sam”. Sam panics and says “No, he’ll be paralyzed for the next half hour”. Rafe thinks that’s good. Shut up before I mess you up, too, Rafe! Dickhead. Getting more upset and still squeezing the bag, Sam tells them that Luka’s diaphragm isn’t working and he’s going to asphyxiate, which Rafe doesn’t think is their problem. Ooh, I’ve already warned you, Rafe! Shitbag. Dismayed, Sam tells them that if they leave him there, in the next five minutes, he’ll be dead. Oh … please … no … I can’t lose the luciousness! She says that Luka needs to be intubated and pleads with Sleaze, who looks unsure what to do. Then he turns to Rafe and says “You want a murder rap? We’re not killers, man!” Sam, her voice breaking, implores Sleaze to let her fix Luka up, she swears and promises that she will help them walk right out of there. Sleaze orders Natasha to go and get the van. Rafe protests and Sleaze tells him to shut up and that it’s his call and tells Natasha that they’ll be right out. Rafe and Natasha use this time to take the opportunity to play a little tonsil hockey while my beloved is lying there suffocating and I scream and throw anything I can get my hands on at the TV. Bastards. Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop drinking.

Natasha goes out into the hallway and walks into Abby, who is heading towards Sutures. Oh no … now I’m going to have to worry about her and the Lukaby, too? My ulcer can’t take this … Abby asks Natasha if the Sonosite is in there, but Natasha stares at her like “huh?” Abby explains that it’s the ultrasound machine. Natasha smiles, shakes her head and says that she doesn’t think so. Abby nods and tries to walk around her to the room, but Natasha blocks her way. Abby sort of smiles and a little apprehensively asks “Is something going on?” I wonder if the Elderlies spooked her more than she let on. Natasha says that they are about to do an intubation. Abby asks “Who is? Kovac?” Is this the compass thing where they “always find each other” going on? Because Abby just immediately assumed it was Luka. Natasha says no and says that Luka went over to the place where they “do that head thingy”. A little amused, Abby asks “The head thingy? CT?” and keeps walking towards Sutures and starts to open the door, as Natasha, out of stalling tactics just asks “The what” and Abby turns to look at her saying “The CT?” as we see Rafe through the partially opened door pointing his gun. Where the hell is my Maalox? Oh … it’s my stomach … I haven’t felt this awful since we saw that Ronald Reagan film. Natasha says “CT, yeah”, and Abby suddenly remembers that she saw the sonosite in Exam Three, and starts to walk away without going into Sutures, so I’m guessing there must be some kind of magnetic field in there that is throwing off the compass settings. Abby says “thanks” over her shoulder as she actually waddles down the hall and Natasha watches after her before glancing back at Sutures and then hurrying out.

Neela is sitting with Dee at a table with a white tablecloth, her hand on a glass of red wine. Dee is watching her, but Neela is looking down at the table as we hear Winston talking. Neela glances up as he starts going on about how "Sometime when the crew is up against it, the breaks are beating the boys, tell them to get out there and give it all they got and win just one for the Zipper. I don't know where I'll be then, Doc," he said, "but I won't smell too good, that's for sure." … Actually, we hear Winston say that when Sitting Bull was facing terrible odds against Custer and Dee turns to look at him, with a “wha?” face. Winston is talking to Pratt and Fish, saying that Sitting Bull turned to his warriors and said “This is a good day to die”, and believes that’s how a soldier has to think, as Dee looks at him, not believing he just said that and Neela looks angry. Winston says that’s the kind of sapling … I mean, “boy” … that he raised. Neela stands up and walks over to him and hands him the box with Deadwood’s medals, and turns to leave. Winston thinks “Michael” would want her to have them. Without turning around, Neela stops, sighs and says that to her, all they mean is that he’s dead. Winston thinks it’s a hard time for all of them. Neela turns around and quietly lets him have it. “How dare you? How … dare … you stand there and say that?”, as everyone stares at her. Winston says that he was explaining the mindset of a warrior. Neela thinks Winston could have kept him there and could have saved him, as Pratt tries to get her to sit down. Neela shakes him off, and more forcefully says “But instead, you made him want to go back”. And like she really doesn’t understand asks “For what?!? Because there was something ‘noble’ in it?” Neela rails at him, asking why he did that when it would have been just as easy to convince him to stay for a much better reason. With tears in her eyes, she declares “Because we loved him”. Then repeats it even stronger. Pratt takes her by the arm and wants to take her for a walk, as Neela, chin up, stares defiantly at Winston. Then gives him a dismissive glance before walking away. Parminder Nagra is just amazing. I loved her going through the range of emotions, her rage, her despair, her uncertainty … she hasn’t hit a false note in this ep, just like she really hasn’t all season.

Hands shaking, Sam is desperately trying to intubate Luka, who is lying on the gurney, wrists restrained and taped to the siderails. Linda Cardellini is doing a great job, you can see the terror on her face and really feel Sam’s panic. Not only is she attempting to do a procedure she’s probably only ever watched be done before, she’s also doing it to not only a co-worker, but her ex-boyfriend that she lived with and I’m sure still cares about. Overwhelming. She shakes her head, alarmed because she can’t see anything. Rafe tells her to “Stick the damn thing in and let’s go”. Sam wails that it doesn’t work like that. She keeps trying unsuccessfully to get the tube in. She pulls it back out, distressed. She puts her hand on Luka’s chin she tells him how sorry she is, as the camera gives us a close-up of Luka lying there, with only a slight red mark marring his left cheek. Oh, thank you Jesus … he’s still pretty. You are so lucky that boot didn’t do any serious damage, Sleaze. Sleaze asks incredulously “He can hear you?” as Sam puts the ambu-mask back on Luka’s face and squeezes it, saying “He’s paralyzed, but he can hear and feel everything”. He’s aware of everything??? Oh … my … God … that must be absolutely horrifying. Just like Nate in Body & Soul, alert mind trapped in a useless body and not being able to breathe on your own … I can’t breathe just thinking about it. Utterly terrifying. Yikes. And not in a good stuffed panda way either. Rafe is getting impatient and tells them that Natasha is waiting for them out there. Sleaze comes over to Sam and says that they have to go and tries to draw her away. Still bagging Luka and watching him, Sam shakes her head and cries “Steve, why did you do this to me?” Um, Sam … not sure you’re paying attention here … but did you happen to notice that it’s Luka there not breathing? Really don’t think this is all about you. Just quit your freakin’ bitching and save my TV boyfriend, bitch! Sleaze swears that it was Rafe’s idea. Rafe’s had enough and asks Sleaze if they are going together or is he leaving him there. Sleaze tells Sam to come on, and she begs for one more try. She grabs another tube, puts the retractor in Luka’s mouth again, and trembling, tries to insert the tube again … Just thinking about him being able to feel all this is making me down the whole bottle of Pepto Bismol. Yuck. That’s nasty … Sam’s still having trouble, and Rafe yells over that’s enough and tells Sleaze to grab her. Trying not to get hysterical, Sam tells Sleaze to put his hand on Luka’s Adam’s Apple. And this better be the last time you touch him, Sleaze, because if anyone is going to be laying hands on Luka, it’s going to be me. Sam tells Sleaze to push on it and talks herself through it saying “Through the chords …” and finally gets the tube in. She pulls the wire out, attaches the bag, and starts squeezing it. She gives it to Sleaze and tells him how to squeeze it as Rafe comes over and puts the gun in her face and yells “Right now!” Not stopping from taping the tube to Luka’s chin, Sam shouts “No”, then puts her hands on either side of his face as Luka’s eyes start to flutter open, and he sees Sam, out of focus, looking down on him. Sam and I both thank God. Sam again says “thank God” and starts to put her head down against Luka’s, saying how sorry she is, as Rafe grabs her and yanks her away. The bag comes off Luka’s face, but the tube is still there, sticking out. Sam shrieks that he still needs help breathing, but Rafe thinks that’s too bad for him. Sam holds her arm where Rafe manhandled her, as he goes to the door and looks out in the hall. Sleaze gets into a wheelchair. Rafe turns out the lights and we see Luka start to move his hands. Again, thank God. If he can move his voluntary muscles like his eyelids and hands, then I would imagine that the involuntary ones like breathing have come back, too. Rafe walks out into the hallway, with Sam pushing Sleaze behind him. She looks back at Luka, who we can hear breathing. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.

Out in the hall, Sam keeps glancing back towards Sutures. They move slowly towards Admit, Sam sneaking glances at Rafe, who is walking slightly ahead. Morris spots her and calls over. She tells him that she’ll be with him in a second, and to just let her get Sleaze “off”. Now, Sam??? Right there in the hallway? Even after what he did to the Pretty? Ewww …the very thought of that is nauseating and I have no more Alka Seltzer. Thanks a lot, Sam. You must really be hard up. Two cops are with Morris and stop them. Rafe puts his head down so that they can’t see his face beneath his hat brim. Cop 1 says that they have a missing person, Old Guy, and they need to talk to him. Morris says that he was moved out of Exam 3 and asks if Sam knows where he is. I know this is just a contrivance to heighten the drama of whether they’re going to get caught or not, but wouldn’t they just look on the Board and see that he was Abby’s patient and maybe they should ask her? Annoying. Sam says that she’s not sure, then adds that they might want to check in Sutures. Morris is surprised and asks “Didn’t you just come from there?” How do you know that, Morris? You weren’t in the hallway when they first came out and they walked a little ways before encountering you. Again, annoying. Sam stares at him for a second, then playacts the dumb blonde “duh” face, shaking her head and saying “Yeah”. She glances over at Rafe, then back at Morris, who must never have watched cheesy TV cop shows before or else would know that she’s totally giving him signals. And these two cheesy TV cops standing there don’t seem to get it either. Morons. Morris tells the cops to ask at the Desk. Cops thank him and walk away. Morris addresses Sleaze and says “Back to the joint, huh?” Looking a bit scared, Sleaze smiles nervously and answers that he’s a quick healer. Morris asks where his “Fight Club” buddy is. First rule of Fight Club, Morris, is you do not talk about Fight Club. Anyway, Fight Club was the beginning, now it's moved out of the basement, it's called Project Mayhem. Still keeping his face partially hidden, Rafe says that they took him up to the ward for observation. Sam vainly keeps trying to signal Morris, and you might as well give it up, Sam, because you’d have better luck convincing Sleaze to turn himself in than you would having Morris actually find a clue. Morris tells Sleaze it was nice to see him again and walks away. Jive ass dude don’ got no brains anyhow.

Sleaze tells Rafe they should go another way, but Rafe thinks the way they are going is the fastest. Sleaze is afraid because there are cops around, but Rafe thinks if they had left right away they’d be on the Dan Ryan by now. Sam tells Sleaze that they can just turn around right now, but Rafe says that they are 30 seconds from freedom and they are not “pussin’ out now”. He warns her “And no more smoke signals from you. Got it?” Sam nods, bites her lip, and stares ahead towards Admit. They continue walking, with Sam shooting scared glances at Rafe. Jerry calls over to her and tells her that she has to fill out the discharge because Admin says they’ve got to be really tight about prisoner paperwork, as we see Jerry, Abby and the two cops at Admit, all looking over at Sam’s entourage, which keeps moving. Sam tells him to check in Sutures because she thinks she might have left it in there. Abby watches after them looking a little concerned, then looks back to the cops, as Sam turns around, looks at her and calls “Okay, Abigail?” Abby looks over, confused, as Sam holds her look before turning away. But since Abby’s evidently watched more craptastic cop dramas than Morris, she looks after Sam, shakes her head and getting it, says “Something’s wrong”. The cops turn around to look. They are in Chairs, heading towards the door outside. Abby repeats more pointedly, “Something’s wrong”. Cop 2 calls out “Hey, Sheriff, hold up” and Cop 1 tells them to bring it back there a minute. Rafe and Sam stop, and Sleaze drops his head, resigned. Guess the foot’s on the other hand now, isn’t it, Sleaze? We see a young girl at the vending machine, putting money in. Through the Vending Machine Cam, we see Rafe and Sam stopped in the middle of the room. As the money drops into the slot, Rafe and Sleaze look at each other, make a decision, and Sleaze stands up. Vending Machine Girl turns to look at them as they pull out their guns and start firing. So much for the “we’re not killers” thing, huh, Sleaze? Sleaze grabs Sam as the scene becomes a Scarface-type shootout, with bullets flying everywhere and everyone ducking for cover. Abby covers her head and starts running, but takes a nasty fall into a file cart. Jerry grabs Strawberry and they both dive to the ground. Abby falls hard onto the floor. It’s mass chaos as the endless stream of bullets keep coming, equipment is exploding, people are running. I haven’t seen anyone reload, so these must be TV cop standard issue unlimited bullet guns they are using. Abby is laying on the floor, her head is bleeding and her left arm is up kind of shielding her face from the flying debris and her right arm is holding her belly. She looks like she’s in pain. Breaking glass falls down on the crouched down cops, and Jerry and Strawberry. As they keep shooting, Sleaze still has a hold on Sam, who looks terrified. Behind the desk, the cops return fire. The Board is shot out, and Abby covers her face as the glass rains down on her. In a Matrix-esque total ripoff slow-mo move, Rafe dispenses with the empty cartridges and reloads his guns. Then the scene switches to look like it’s in slightly fast mode as the elevator dings and opens to reveal two cops who see what’s happening, quickly pull their guns, and start firing, taking out a glass window in Chairs. Rafe points one of his guns over and fires, hitting one of the cops, whose head recoils in slow-motion and blood spurts out against the back of the elevator. Lovely. I’m thinking this director is maybe a little too fond of Tarantino-like movies, because this whole scene is being shot in sort of washed-out color, jerky camera movement, quick cuts, and different film speed rates. This all gives it a real frenetic feel, which is actually very effective. Still firing, Sleaze and Rafe back out into the Ambulance Bay. Natasha pulls a grey van over and yells “What the hell happened?” as Sleaze tries to get Sam to get in the van. She fights him and yells hysterically for him to just go as he keeps pulling her by the arm. She pleads with him to think about Alex and sliding the door on the van, he tells her he already did, as Sam looks in to see New Alex, or Newlex, in his school uniform and bushy 80’s hair tied up, with duct tape across his mouth. Has he been in there all day? Natasha must have gotten him before she showed up in the ER, or else when would she have had time? Sam looks at him in terror then quickly jumps into the van. Sleaze stands in the open van door and starts shooting at passersby, yelling for them to get back. He gets in and tells Natasha to go and he shuts the door. As they pull away, the two cops who were behind Admit finally run out into the Ambulance Bay and start shooting at the van, breaking a back window. Sleaze returns their fire as the van gets away.

After commercial, camera closes in on a dazed Abby, lying on the floor. A sound like feedback from an amplifier and some low ominous sounding music are playing. She takes her hand away from her head, which is bleeding over her left eye, and her right hand is still on her belly. Glass and papers are all around. She slowly gets to her knees as we hear muffled voices, sounding a lot like Charlie Brown’s teachers. Abby stands up completely, and winces, putting her hand up to her forehead. Voices are still distorted as we see Cop 1 walking with Zadro the Paramedic through the Chair area. Cop 1 is talking into a walkie-talkie. As the voices start to become clearer, we hear him say that he has officers down at County General. Zadro shouts “If you got someone hurt by you or if you’re hurt, gives us a sign” as another cop says that outside is clear and they can move people out. Haleh rushes over to Abby and asks her if she’s okay, as Abby looks at the blood on her hands and says that she thinks so. She points to her forehead and asks Haleh if it’s okay.

Cop 2 comes out of the elevator, yelling for a doctor as Ray comes around the corner and quickly hurries in, followed by Chuny. Ray asks the Elevator Cop if he knows what day it is as we see his bloody neck and blood under his head. Ray yells for a gurney and Chuny tells him that the pulse is thready, and we see the lovely blood-splattered door behind her. Ray tells her to page Surgery, and she hurries out.

Morris is running by Admit as Abby calls to him from behind the desk “Hey, find Kovac. Jerry’s hurt”. Morris hurries around and helps Haleh and Abby turn Jerry over. Jerry weakly says that it’s hard to breathe. Strawberry says that Jerry saved him and that he almost got shot. And you’re a far better person than I, Jerry, ‘cause there’s no way I’d take a bullet for this annoying kid. Jerry’s head is on Abby’s knee and she is opening his shirt, yelling for Zadro to get a gurney. Jerry thinks getting shot sucks. Hee. Way to be brave in the face of adversity and make quips, Jer. Which actually doesn’t bode well for you, since whenever anyone does that on this show, they most assuredly kick it. Strawberry pinches Jerry’s right leg, causing him to yell out in pain. Strawberry asks, “Is that better?” and Jerry tries to smile at him and says “Thanks, kid” … then asks “Timmy, have you ever seen a grown man naked?” Except, not. Morris calls to set up for a chest tube. Taking off her stethoscope Abby orders “O2, 100% non-rebreather”. Haleh tells Jerry that his radial pulse is strong and assures him that he’s good. Zadro comes over and says to him “Jerry, man, what’d you do?” and bends down next to him. Abby is looking around, with a concerned expression on her face. Jerry says that he’s a big target and to tell Frank that he won’t be able to cover for him on Friday, as Zadro, Morris and Haleh start to try to lift him. Yeah, good luck with that. Jerry groans as they are lifting him and he looks like he’s getting bent into a 45 degree angle as the camera follows Abby, who has stood up, and with her right hand on the baby belly again, she starts walking around to the front of Admit as the Somber Sounds of Sinister Shoot-outs gets louder. Abby seems really worried and is looking around, obviously searching for someone or something, probably Luka. She’s got to be wondering where he is through all this.

Natasha is Mario Andretti-ing it down the highway, swerving in and out of traffic. Yeah, that won’t draw attention to you or anything. Alright now everybody, get in crash positions. Sleaze tells her to keep driving and she asks where to. Sleaze wants her to put some distance between them and the hospital and they’ll figure it out later. Rafe scoffs at that and Sleaze tells him to shut the hell up. Sam is untying Newlex. She looks over at Sleaze hatefully and tells him that they probably killed someone back there, one of her friends. Sam has friends? Huh. How ‘bout that? Sam thought Sleaze said he was turning himself around. Sleaze says that he’s been praying and asked God to make him a better man and it took a while, but He finally started talking back. With tears in her eyes, Sam shakes her head and tells Newlex, “That’s not God”. Newlex just stares absently, which is probably the best he’s ever been in a scene. Sleaze says that He said that losing her is where he went wrong and everything will be right in his Garden if he can only get his family back. Sam looks at him disbelievingly and asks if God told him to do it with guns.

Jerry is in Trauma Yellow, with Morris and Abby working on him. Abby, with a butterfly bandage on her forehead, is telling Cop 1 Sleaze’s name. Haleh says that Jerry’s down to 80 systolic. Abby says she doesn’t know who the other one is, but there is probably a chart. I’m thinking Abby’s head wound may be muddling her thinking because this should probably trigger in her that Sam said to look for the chart in Sutures. Haleh asks Cop 1 where Sam is and whether they’ve talked to her. Cop 1 says that they haven’t located “your nurse” yet, but they’re still looking. Another cop knocks on the window and Cop 1 says that he’ll be right back. Morris tells Jerry that he’s going to feel a lot of pressure, and Jerry groans and says he’s not liking that, as Abby keeps wiggling a needle around in his clavicle area. Morris kids Jerry that he had to go and get shot because Morris was three hours away from a clean getaway. Awfully inconvenient of you, Jerry … especially because now we are subjected to more Morris. Thanks. Ray comes in from Trauma Green as Abby complains “I can’t find it” and Morris tells her to keep looking. Abby’s still having problems and keeps poking around with the needle. She seems like she’s having more than a little bit of trouble. Haleh asks Ray if they’re taking Elevator Cop up to Surgery and Ray says that he arrested twice after the thoracotomy and they’re not optimistic. Oh, that sucks, Elevator Cop. Abby tosses the needle she’s holding into a red receptacle that a random blonde nurse is holding and says “Uh, I can’t do this”. Morris tells her that Jerry’s a big man and she needs to go supraclavicular. Abby repeats it questioningly. Morris hands Ray the chest tube and tells him to sew it in for him. He explains that the junction of the subclavian in the IJ is a bigger target. Oh, and here we go with Morris the Magnificent Medico again, because his sudden emergence as competent is just so believable. Abby’s looking a bit out of it and closes her eyes, which Haleh spots and asks her if she’s okay. Abby opens up her eyes and blinks a few times, saying “Yeah … I’m just … um …”, then shaking her head a bit continues “I’m a little dizzy … I hit my head”, she keeps blinking then she says that she’ll prime the rapid infuser and holds her hand out for Haleh to give it to her. Haleh hands it to her and she moves behind Morris as he completes her procedure and says “Enter the clavisternomastoid angle and bingo, we’re in!” Jerry gratefully tells him that Ladokern Pharmaceuticals is going to be lucky to have him. Okay, I’ve got to call shenanigans here … Abby, who never gives up at anything without a fight, especially not doing a procedure and having to have someone basically force her out of the way, is here handing it over saying that she can’t do it. And telling them that she hit her head and is dizzy and no one reacts? I know they are preoccupied with Jerry, but we’re talking about a mega-pregnant woman who had a bad fall and is acting out of it and no one except Haleh is going to take notice? And even though some people never want to give her the benefit of the doubt, I’m going to have to give Abby a pass here, because she does have a head injury and is acting so completely out of character, that it’s obvious that there’s something wrong. Abby asks Ray if Luka took Elevator Cop up to Surgery. Ray says no, and that he hasn’t seen Luka and thought he was with her. Abby stares at him for a second, frowning, like that is not the answer she was hoping to hear. Maybe she’s wondering if he’s still pouting about the preposterous proposal putdown and that’s why he hasn’t come looking for her. Though if she were thinking clearly, she’d know there’s no way in hell that after hearing World War Three going on, regardless of how pissed he might be with her, that he wouldn’t use his Abby-finding compass and make sure she and the Lukaby were okay.

Luka is still on the gurney, wide awake and we hear his regular breathing through the tube. He lifts his head to look down to his feet, then lays back and starts rocking from side to side, trying to move the gurney. His motion makes it roll a little and he stretches his feet out to try to reach the metal rack about a foot away. He puts his head back down and closes his eyes from the effort, then opens them. His eyes roll back in his head a little before he’s able to focus and he starts rocking again. I’m thinking that he may not be able to move his whole legs yet, just the feet, because the legs aren’t restrained, but he’s not moving them and they are still stretched out stiffly. He rocks harder and touches the rack with his foot. He tries moving it, probably to knock it over, make some noise and alert someone to his being in there. I wonder why he didn’t do it when Ray was next door in Trauma Green working on Elevator Cop? Maybe he wasn’t able to move that much yet. Luka’s foot glances off the rack and propels the gurney … right back to where it started. That sucks. All that effort for nothing. Luka glances over at the Trauma window then the camera angle switches to where we can see his profile and through the window into the room over his shoulder, as the opening bars of Snow Patrol’s “Open Your Eyes” starts playing.

In an overhead shot, we see Neela sitting in a lone chair by the gravesite, the others piled up well behind her, and Pratt standing some distance away, staring off. Pratt’s cell phone goes off. He flips it open, but it still keeps ringing. Nice editing, ER. He glances down at the message, scowls, then looks over at Neela. As he starts to walk towards her, we hear Gary Lightbody singing All this feels strange and untrue, and I won’t waste a minute without you. Neela asks Pratt “Is this something I never get over?” The lyric My bones ache, my skin feels cold continue as Pratt says over them “No … This is something that you find a place to put and let him make you stronger”. And I’m getting so tired and so old. “And you go on living your life because that’s all you can do …That’s the way he would have wanted it”. They share a look as the chorus starts Tell me that you’ll open your eyes and Pratt’s phone goes off again. Tell me that you’ll open your eyes. He looks at it and looking a little surprised, shakes his head says “Neela, there’s something going on at the hospital”…. … Neela asks “Hospital? What is it?” Pratt answers “It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now” …

Haleh says that Jerry’s pressure dropped again, as Abby, examining an x-ray, glances down at Jerry, who can’t seem to keep his eyes open, and asks him how he’s doing. Morris, standing behind the table looking at x-rays, implores him “Come on, big guy, it’s time for you to say something intended to be funny”. Ray thinks he’s got to be bleeding into the belly, but Morris said he looked and the belly is clear as Abby hangs her x-ray up and they both keep looking at them. Ray feels they’re missing something. Haleh says that units 3 and 4 are going up. Morris looks like he gets an idea, then rushes over and says that Jerry needs a second chest tube. Abby thinks the first one is in a good position. Doing an ultrasound on the belly, Ray tells Morris that there’s less than 500cc’s out, but Morris thinks there’s more in there. Abby doesn’t see a hemothorax as Weaver bursts in, visibly shaken, and says that she was upstairs and they wouldn’t let them come down and wants to know what the hell happened. Ray tells her “The OK Corral”, as Weaver looks and sees who’s on the table and whispers “Oh my God … Jerry”.

Abby looks like she’s having a hard time concentrating and even shakes her head a little like she’s trying to clear out the cobwebs. She’s staring at the x-ray almost like it’s a completely foreign object. Weaver asks if there’s any free fluid, and Ray says they need a CT but Morris insists it’s not the belly. Morris tells Weaver to look at the film and that the right hemithorax is still slightly opaque and that’s blood. Weaver moves over next to Abby at the x-rays. Morris says that they don’t see an air-fluid level because he’s lying flat. Abby tells Weaver that the first chest tube should have drained it, but Morris thinks not if it’s kinked or clotted. He gets the second tube in and blood starts pouring out onto the floor. Morris says there’s over a liter in the chest. Abby asks where there’s another thora-seal and Haleh tells her she thinks there’s one next door. Abby goes into Trauma Green and says she’ll be right back. As the Snow Patrol lyrics get louder and we hear I want so much to open your eyes …

Same shot of Luka as before where we can see into Trauma Green through the window on the door over his shoulder, only this time, we see Abby come into view. Luka glances over that way just in time to hear Abby cry out and double over in pain, then disappear from his sight. Cause I need you to look into mine. He lifts his head, trying to see her. Switch to Abby bent over, obviously hurting. She reaches down, between her legs, and eases the seat back … No, actually she stays doubled over for a minute, then stands up and staggers a little, woozy, almost like she got a head rush from standing up too fast. Tell me that you’ll open your eyes. Change to Luka lifting his head to watch her and seeing her falter a bit, something obviously wrong. Back to Abby, wincing, then lifting up her right hand and looking at it. Tell me that you’ll open your eyes. It takes a second for her to process that it is covered in blood, then her eyes open wide and she stares at it in horror … Oh, no … Then to Luka who starts trying to move the gurney to see her better, and watches her stare at her hand, then close her eyes, and place it against the window, trying to steady herself. Oh shit, that blood is dark and I’m thinking there’s something wrong with the Lukaby and it looks like Abby realizes it. Damn … Tell me that you’ll open your eyes. Luka sees the blood on her hand and starts rocking harder, not taking his eyes off her. Oh, God. I’m in my happy place … I’m in my happy place … Luka is there, still restrained … but it a good way .... Man, how horrific to be only a few feet away and not able to do anything. It’s Vukovar all over again – being helpless and forced to watch something happen to his family, but powerless to do anything about it. Abby holds her hand against the glass, blinking and looking disoriented and like she’s trying to figure out what’s happening. Camera keeps switching from her to Luka’s point of view, as she starts to pass out, slowly crumpling against the door, dragging her bloodied hand across the window, before collapsing and sliding down the door onto the floor. Luka frantically tries to move. God, this is hard to watch. Shot switches to seeing him through the blood-stained window, thrashing around, desperately trying to get out of the bindings. Then we see an unconscious Abby, head against the door, as the camera pulls back to reveal her lying in a pool of blood. Yikes … Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue …

Wow … Just … wow …


Well, Season 12 has finally come to a close, and what an ending. I can’t believe we have to wait all summer to find out what happened to … Jerry … Or Sam … Or Newlex .... And, oh yeah, those other two people … Who are they again? … You know, the ones always hawking their styling products and showing off their new coifs? It’ll come to me eventually …

Thank you all for a great season. I appreciate everyone taking the time to read this dreck, and for the comments and emails I’ve received. And, okay, because I still keep getting this question, for the record, once and for all, let me explain – I . do . not . hate . Abby . … Mm ‘kay? In fact, truth be told, honestly, she’s my favorite one on the show. I think she’s such a totally wonderfully fucked-up character, who’s shown tremendous growth over the seasons but still has a way to go. Now, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to strangle her sometimes, because I do, but at least she is always interesting to watch. And I happen to be a huge fan of Maura Tierney’s and have been since NewsRadio. So there. It’s not my fault that I have this tourette’s like compulsion to “bitch” her whenever she’s on the verge of getting any from he who by all rights should be mine … hell, even if he just talks to her … or looks at her … or God forbid, touches her … Bitch. See? Just can’t help it … And I do believe myself to be an equal opportunity snarker. The only one who seemed to have been somewhat exempt from my crankiness this season was Neela, and that’s only because she really didn’t do anything to annoy the hell out of me like everyone else did. Oh, and by the way, in case you were wondering, you really weren’t reading incorrectly, I do actually totally dislike Carter. Again, not my fault they ruined the previously completely adorable loveable character at around the same time the mangy beard first made an appearance and he became Grizzly Adams. It was all downhill to Smirkyville from there.

If you are so inclined, drop by the blog every once in a while this summer. You are likely to stumble upon some “deleted scenes” that never made it on air, or some “alternate scenes” to the ones we were already shown … or you may find one of my homages to craptastically cheesy TV like Little House Full of Fairies, or an ASS (After School Special) or two … who knows, maybe I may even get to the Laverne & Shirley eps I’ve been promising someone for ages, though I did just read that the Facts of Life is coming out on DVD, and come on, seriously, who can resist the snarkage opportunity that resides there? And I’ve always wanted to do the granddaddy of all disaster films, in all its epic cheesiness grandeur, the original Poseidon Adventure. Good times.

And I still miss Susan … and Sherry Stringfield … and her hair … Sigh …