Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Previously on CR ...

“Previously on CR” … Cranky actually and unbelievably got her recap for the Season Premiere, Bloodline, posted before the next ep aired; Well on her way to doing the same again this week, Cranky’s efforts were thwarted by the short people who live in her house and keep insisting on calling her “Mommy”; Cranky’s cruelly cursed creature children couldn’t counteract compulsions to clout Cranky’s computer with completely calamitous conclusion; While Cranky unreasonably took a few minutes for herself in a futile effort to make herself presentable to the outside world, the demon spawn played ball in the house despite explicit instructions to the dangers of said actions; Cranky’s lovely loquacious laptop, lucidly lonely, inadvertently joined the game, sacrificing itself in a valiant effort to save Cranky’s much beloved flat-screen television from becoming another victim of soccer violence; As the heroic hard drive hurled headfirst onto the floor, the jump drive that had been visiting its USB port used itself as a human shield, cushioning the blow and thus saving Cranky a mega-buck expensive repair or replacement, but sadly could not be salvaged itself; Cranky held a teary and emotional funeral for the memory stick that held the bulk of her current recap, as well as the last three episodes of yummy Jason Isaacs’ show Brotherhood and some irretrievable but not nearly as lamented items needed for that place where Cranky spends her weekdays and manages to eek out a meager living; In memory of the lost recap, Cranky vowed not only to deflate every soccer ball within the Tri-State area, but also to work what tiny amount of brain cells she may actually have retained after the conniption she suffered this morning to reconstructing the missing parts of what was surely a monumental masterpiece in as timely a manner as leaving on an overseas jaunt in the p.m. will allow …

“Next on CR” … Cranky’s pernicious progeny are put up for adoption and Cranky moves permanently into the Hair Salon to receive restorative deep cleansing and intensive moisturizing treatments from the Shampoo Boy.

17 Comments:

At 10:36 AM, October 04, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cranky,

Say no more! Even in distress, you're brilliant. Love your alliterations. No one does it like you! At least you still have the HDTV to console you by longingly looking at lovely Luka later.

Take your time. We'll still be here.

 
At 11:38 AM, October 04, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I completely agree with the first comment and cannot think of anything better to say.

 
At 12:29 PM, October 04, 2006, Anonymous Andie said...

I'm so sorry...for you and your computer and for us, the Cranky's compulsive readers!!!!
Hope you and your computer can recover from this devastating loss!!!
At least we got our well deserved weakly amout of crankiness, and may I add, you sounded preatty cranky!!!
Andie

 
At 12:36 PM, October 04, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

can't stop laughing ... sorry it's mean but can't help it!!
you've found the perfect excuse to get some attention from the pretty ... if you ever decide to grace us with your food for thought we'll for sure be here!!

 
At 3:16 PM, October 04, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL!! I'm sorry for your computer and all of your hard work. Boy, I have soooo been there!! We'll wait as long as it takes. -- Do we have a choice? ;)

 
At 4:58 PM, October 04, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My dear Cranky,

I'm so sorry for what's happening to you, your computer and everything, we'll wait as long as it takes for your recovery even if it means long hours of boredom, hope I won't die in the process of waiting, I don't want to prove Abby's theory: "A human being could die from boredom..."

Viviana Soto
Your Peruvian Fan

 
At 7:07 PM, October 04, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude, DUDE.

you're too much!

take care!

 
At 9:32 PM, October 04, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay....so send the wee ones HERE for a few. Everyone needs a break now and then. Besides, the hubby and his royal highness, the Prince, shall be alone as the Princess and I are headed for a soccer tourney in Indianapolis for the weekend. They need some especially exciting entertainment in our absence! And then YOU can really enjoy the Lucious Luka lollygagging. : )
Larue

 
At 5:20 AM, October 05, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

may your laptop rest in peace!
where should we send dried flowers ?
we too need some attention from shampoo boy ...
we'll survive until you're ready, hopefully!

 
At 9:13 AM, October 05, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have only recently discovered your hilarious Cranky Recaps and am already heavily addicted (I already was heavily addicted to The Pretty anyway)! Anyway just wanted to say hi and that I really look forward to your next Recap or whatever you are going to post, cos everytime I come here it does make my day better!!

Paola (Italy)

 
At 7:54 PM, October 05, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As if you needed another reason to be cranky! RIP dear memory stick. We'll all just be crankily awaiting your next installment!

 
At 11:41 AM, October 09, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

so, how's life with shampoo boy in the hair salon ?
what about the adoption, any luck ?
guess if you keep the little people they'll be grounded for life at the very least ...

not much to do but,
"j'attendrai le jour et la nuit ... j'attendrai toujours ton retour ..."
(I'll wait day and night ... I'll always wait your return ...)

 
At 8:18 AM, October 11, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I miss the cranky. OK, I will wait because I must but I was all ready to cut and paste so I could print it out at work and read it on the sly so my boss would think I am actually doing some work. Please hurry...

 
At 7:44 PM, October 11, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Even on your crankiest day, you are still a riot.

MEG

 
At 7:17 AM, October 12, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

am dying of boredom here !!!
any chance you may come out of the Hair Salon and leave for a while Shampoo Boy ??
pretty please ?????

 
At 4:43 PM, October 13, 2006, Anonymous kittythegolfer said...

Okay - I had to stop reading the recap to look up Linda Cardellini (Sam)on imdb.com. Can anyone else claim Scooby Doo 2 and Brokeback Mountain on his/her resume? I think not. And how do you KNOW this stuff? Back to the recap......

 
At 9:25 PM, August 18, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG - You're hilarious. I'm in Oz, no warning that ER started up again (and I study the tv guide every week)so I was looking for recaps for the first 2 episodes, season 13 - yes, that's how far behind it is here! You're so funny, I don't even care if I find the recaps now!!!!

 

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