ER 12.8 Two Ships

Previously on ER: Neela tells Abby that Gallant is coming home today and Pratt does his best Mae West saying, “well, hello soldier”; Neela gets a call from Gallant’s lieutenant saying his leave has been postponed; John Stamos, aka Uncle Jesse from Full House is a paramedic and introduces himself as Tony Gates to Neela; John Leguizamo, aka Victor Clemente, new Attending, aka Chi-Chi Rodriguez from To Wong Foo argues with Luka, who doesn’t like his style and thinks since he’s the new guy it’s his responsibility to fit in with them and not vice versa; Ray’s underage hook up, Zoe, who looks like a young Liv Tyler and her dad, who looks like Teller from Penn & Teller confront Neela about Teller’s having a right to know why antibiotics were prescribed to his daughter; Teller beats the crap out of Ray and tells him he’ll kill him if he ever comes near his daughter again.

Pratt and Inez are entering the ambulance bay, pulling on gloves. Inez tells him that it wasn’t as cold this morning. Pratt thought people from the Bronx were supposed to be tough, and Inez says they are. Pratt says “yeah, right. Talk to me in February” as the ambulance pulls in. Uncle Jesse and his partner are bringing in Martin Trudeau, 60, short of breath. Pratt says “uh oh, looks like trouble” as he spots Neela climbing out of the rig, apparently on her ride along that Morris told her she still had to complete back in Episode 4. Uncle Jesse quips “You’re telling me” as he looks at Neela disdainfully. Pratt asks how the rookie is doing. Uncle Jesse thinks she could smile more, and Neela dutifully smirks at him. Partner says she’s fine. Martin is being played by Alex Rocco, who played Moe Green, the casino owner who got shot through the eye in Godfather II. Of course, I remember him better for his role on my 80’s sitcom guilty pleasure, The Facts of Life, where he played Jo’s dad. Moe is bitching that all he wanted was a little oxygen and “these clowns keep poking me for ten minutes”. Shut up, Moe! I seriously doubt Uncle Jesse swings that way to be “poking” you, besides the fact that you are old and gross, and I’m sure whatever they were doing was because they were, oh, I don’t know, maybe trying to save your life or something? Ingrate. Neela says that Moe is post-cardiac transplant 2001. Moe wants to know if those bastards at the Mayo clinic give refunds on bad hearts. Again, shut up, Moe! You have been onscreen for less than two minutes and I already want to strangle you. Considering the fact that the transplant most likely saved your good-for-nothing carcass, I think you would show a little gratitude. I can so get Mrs. Garrett, Fatalie and Tootie to come kick your ass. Uncle Jesse tries to excuse the rudeness by saying that Moe is on a lot of meds, which Neela lists off. There are like a dozen of them, and since I know that you cannot possibly be any more interested in what they are than I am, I’m not going to bother regurgitating them, except that the last one was aspirin. When she’s finished, Moe snarks “wow, you’ve got freakin’ Rain Man here”, and Uncle Jesse says he’s taking her to Vegas, as I wonder what gambling den would require that kind of useless knowledge. Neela tells Pratt that the lungs are wet. Pratt barks a couple of orders and says he’ll be right in. He catches Neela in the hall, slaps her on the arm and asks how it’s going, for real. Neela bitches that they don’t have a coat that fits her, they woke her and all her neighbors up at 5:00 am with their “bloody siren”, and Uncle Jesse is like a “dog in heat”. Hee. I love Neela. She goes on that “other than that, well, there is no other than that.” Pratt chuckles and wants her to look on the bright side. She wants to know what that is as Sam walks by telling Pratt that his bloody diarrhea guy’s “butt is exploding again”. Nice. Thanks, Sam. I really needed to hear that, especially since I had chili for dinner. Pratt finishes “you could be stuck here” and walks away as Uncle Jesse comes up to Neela, calling her “Mayday”. She tells him that “Dr. Rasgotra will be fine”, and he says he’s going to go restock the rig, adding “Mayday” again. Hee.

Ray walks up, his face still cut up and bruised from the Teller smackdown, and just as annoyingly nicknames her saying “nice jacket, Roomie”. He wants to know if he can still call her that. She says that as long as he doesn’t call her “Mayday”, he can call her anything he likes. He asks how the ride-along is, as she pulls off the steri-strip from his face and tells him he needs a new one. He winces and she apologizes. He says it’s still a little tender. Neela thinks that all things considered, he got off easy. He sarcastically says “oh yeah, my ass-kicking was a breeze” and all he had to do was lay there. Neela thinks it beats jail time, and I would think you’d agree, Ray, especially since there would be more done to your ass there than just kicking. Neela wants him to sit in the curtain area. He asks if she’s heard from Gallant, but she hasn’t yet because he got stuck. Ray wants to know if he’s still coming home and she says not at the moment. Ray says “that’s cool” then corrects himself and says “I mean, too bad”. As Neela puts on the new steri-strip, Ray asks if this means that maybe he could come home now. Neela tells him no. He says “no?” and she replies that it’s been quite nice without him and “that smell” hasn’t been there since he’s been gone. Hee. Ray complains that it’s his place as Uncle Jesse calls “Got another run, Mayday”. Neela tells Ray that he can come back on the following conditions: no more dirty dishes in the sink, and no more using the couch as his clothes hamper, and I am so with her on those because my husband does the same thing. Ray bitches “didn’t I let you move in?” and Neela just gives him a pointed look and starts to walk away. He tells her okay, it’s a done deal. He says that he’s on graveyard and he’ll be back in the morning. He ducks behind a curtain saying “Oh, crap. Admit, 2:00.” Neela looks over and her eyes widen and she tells him that she thought he “got rid of her”. Ray asks for a little help. Neela says “Ray?” and he says “Neela?”, and she shakes her head and walks over to Admit, where we see Liv. They exchange hellos and Liv impatiently asks where Ray is. Neela tells her he’s off today. Liv doesn’t think that’s true because he pull doubles on Thursdays so that he can do gigs on Fridays and she totally knows his schedule. Neela deadpans that he had a doctor’s appointment. Eye specialist. Liv’s upset because Ray hasn’t returned her calls or anything. Considering that spending time with you equates to doing time, I’m really not surprised here, Liv. Uncle Jesse comes in and tells Neela to come on because they’ve got a man down. Neela says to Liv that she’ll tell Ray she was here. Liv hands Neela a CD and asks her to give it to Ray, it has all their songs on it. I’m sure the jailbait mix includes songs like “Girl, You’ll Be A Woman Soon”, “Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman”, and “Don’t Stand So Close To Me”. Neela takes the CD and starts walking around the desk, where Jerry, who is on the phone, stops her and says that the Residency Office is looking for Abby. Neela drops the CD in the trash and tells him that she’s on nights. Jerry picks the CD out of the trash and says “lucky her”. Considering where she is, I’d have to agree with that assessment, Jerry.

Abby is sleeping, lying on her side. As she starts to wake, she turns slightly towards behind her, then looks frontward as the camera pans back and we see that her head is laying on an outstretched arm, whose hand is holding hers. Awww. Her left hand is resting under her chin, holding the arm. When she moves, the fingers on the hand tighten a bit on her right hand. Again, awww. She stares at the clasped hands, then holding the bedsheet across her chest with her left hand, turns towards the owner of the other hand, as the camera shows us it is Luka, who is still asleep. And naked. I have to re-watch this scene over and over again, because at this point, I really am not able to concentrate on anything that Abby is doing, and honestly, who cares? Bare-chested Luka. Need I say more? I think I need a cigarette. And a voodoo doll of Maura Tierney. Bitch. After my cigarette break, and another glass of merlot, I think I am now ready to resume. Okay … nope, there’s that chest again … sigh … Anyway, where was I? Abby turns towards Luka, and stares at him. Then incredibly, she turns her head to stare at the ceiling, blows out her breath, and actually has the nerve to have a “what the hell did I do?” expression on her face. Honey, you did him. How can you possibly have a problem with that? I used to just think you were a bit dense, now I know that you really did inherit some of Maggie’s psycho genes because you are obviously deranged. And a bitch.

After Opening Credits, Pratt bursts into Trauma Yellow and wants to know why Moe has fluid in his lungs. Moe snottily says he takes long showers. How many times do I have to tell you to shut up, Moe? Pratt asks if there is anything Moe wants to tell him. Moe wants to know like what? Pratt tells him his cyclosporine level was zero. Moe says “yeah, so?” Pratt replies that he stopped taking his meds. He asks if he’s right and is Moe taking his pills? Moe won’t look at him and answers “nope”, because Moe’s a dope. Pratt bitches that he’s wasting a perfectly good heart, not to mention his time. Moe wants to know if Pratt knows how much the medicine costs a month. Pratt silently judges him as Moe goes on that he takes piles of that medicine at almost “four large a month”. Since I don’t speak casino, you really need to explain how much that is to me, Moe. Pratt asks about Medicare. Moe snidely replies that you have to declare poverty for that and give up your house, your savings and your car. Really??? Medicare sucks. Moe wants to know who’s going to take care of his wife. Pratt wonders how Moe supposes to take care of her if he’s dead. Moe’s getting really pissed now and goes on how she drives him back and forth to the hospital, she cleans up his puke (yuck), and he can’t make it up the stairs alone, and he passes out. Well, that’s why the vows specify in sickness and in health, Moe, so technically, she bought into this when she married you. Though with your attitude, I would have dumped you years before. Apparently, Mrs. Moe is a saint. Pratt asks him if he’s refusing to take his medication and explains that if he is, he’s going to go into heart failure and he’s going to die. Moe just looks at him condescendingly and says “aw”. What an ass. Pratt does this move that Mekhi Phifer is really good at, where he basically rolls his eyes without actually rolling his eyes. Pratt resignedly says, “alright then” and tells Inez to put him in Curtain Three. As he walks out he says “we’re done”.

Sally walks towards Admit wearing a long beige overcoat and pulling the red overnight bag on wheels that I had until it never made it back from Disneyworld last year and the airline never was able to track it down. Now I know what happened to it and Sally, I want the Mouse ears back. Bitch. Sally asks Sam how many nurses they’re short and Sam tells her two and that the registry’s empty. Sally thinks they’ll manage, gives Sam her hotel number and says her flight leaves at 4:20 and she’ll keep her cell on. I thought you weren’t allowed to use your cell phone on the plane and you had to use theirs so that they can charge you like fifteen bucks a minute. Or is that just what the flight bitch told me when I tried to use mine the last time I flew? That’s what I get for booking the Super Saver flight – no frills, no lunch, no peanuts, no cell phone, no working headphones. Plenty of turbulence though, and screaming babies. Jerry asks “what about Malik?” and Sam says he went to a funeral in Detroit. Oh, I’m sorry, Malik. Jerry says it’s the “arson capital of the world”. Shut up, Jerry! I’m pretty sure the arson capital is here in Pennsylvania, where sad but true, one town has firefighters who are in the habit of starting the fires themselves so that they’ll have something to do. Idiots. Sally asks if Sam tried Jarvik, and she says exasperatedly that she’s called everybody. And Sam’s hair is mighty flat tonight. So I guess my hair bitching had only a one episode reprieve. Thanks, ER. Sally asks, though not very sincerely, if Sam wants her to stay, as Jerry shakes his head vigorously behind her and mouths “no”. Hee. Sam lies and assures her to go ahead, they’ve got it. Sally says okay, checks her watch and says she’s got a flight to catch.

Ray walks up to the board and Inez says “yo, Rocky”. Hee. I love Inez. She asks him if he wants to pick up a drunk samurai, and I’ll advise you not to, Ray. I did that at a bar once and my apartment was never the same afterwards. Ray asks “a samurai?” as Inez tells Sam, who’s still on the phone, that GYN has a bed but can’t take the PID for two hours. Must be another off camera patient. Sam says she’ll call them as Chi-Chi walks up and asks why his UTI is still here. Well, if you aren’t going to take your medicine and drink cranberry juice, Chi-Chi, there’s not much Sam can do to help make your bladder infection go away. Sam, obviously harried, tells him they are out of ICONS, and Chi-Chi sarcastically says “yeah, well, could you please” and she says she’s got it. He pissily retorts “like before Christmas, maybe”. She makes a pained face and again says she’s got it. Jerry tells Chi-Chi there are four more and hands Chi-Chi a bunch or WYWO messages. Chi-Chi wants to know what she said. Jerry replies the same thing she said the last six times.

Ray walks up with a huge guy wearing a headband, an open robe showing his hairy chest and not small belly, and sporting a ZZ Top beard. Ray asks “Kobayashi? Is that your real name?” Since this guy looks like a redneck from the Blueridges, I highly doubt that Ray. Kobayashi says “hai”. And here’s more geek test proof for you, Kobayashi, which Spellchecker likes for some strange reason, is the name of the guy who is the five-time winner of Nathan's Famous hot dog eating contest held each 4th of July at Coney Island in New York. And this guy looks like he’s eaten a few frankfurters in his lifetime. Chi-Chi, who of course adds Japanese to the already annoying fact that he speaks Russian, says “irrasshaimase”, which my kids’ Little Linguist game thing tells me means “welcome”, and Kobayashi replies “konnichiwa”, which means “hello”. Chi-Chi replies “hai”. Kobayashi talks to Sam saying “you, with hair like ray of sun, you are beautiful” as Ray smirks. Kobayashi laughs, then grabs his head, he’s wearing purple rubber gloves for some strange reason, and falls onto the floor, knocking over a tray. No explanation as we cut to …

Close-up of an arm on a pillow. The hand starts moving back and forth, expecting something to be there. Camera pulls back as we see Luka waking up. He lifts up a little, and spots the top of Abby’s head. She’s kneeling next to the bed, obviously looking for something. Luka, still sleepy, grins and asks her what she’s doing. She looks up, a little surprised, then, a trifle embarrassed, says that she’s looking for her underwear. Still grinning at her, Luka sits up a bit and asks her if she’s on tonight. She stands up, clutching a towel around her, and says she’s not. Luka wants to know why she’s leaving. She shrugs slightly and says “I just thought … I should”. Luka raises his eyebrows flirtatiously and very suggestively says “You should stay”. And to prove exactly how insane she really is, Abby kind of smiles and replies, “I probably shouldn’t”. Luka tilts his head and grins at her, seductively. For the love of God, Abby, even if you are mentally unbalanced, how can you not hop back into that bed??? Step off then, bitch. There are about a gazillion women, and quite a few men, across the planet who’d gladly take over for you. Seeing how it is Luka in that bed, this is absolutely the most unrealistic scene I have ever seen on this show, and considering all the shenanigans they’ve pulled over the years, that’s saying a lot. Abby says, though not very convincingly as she’s uncomfortably adjusting the towel, that she has a lot of stuff that she needs to do. Luka starts looking under the bedcovers. As he lifts them up, Abby’s black bra goes flying off the bed and she catches it. Hee. Luka says “oh … your bra” as Abby sort of sheepishly says “thank you”. Luka pulls something out from under the covers … no, not that! Keep your minds out of the gutter. Well, with naked Luka there, I guess that’s impossible. He tosses it to Abby and says in what has to be the most sexy way imaginable, “panties”. I need another cigarette. And I don’t even smoke. Abby catches them, and looks away, smiling and blushing. She looks back at him, still smiling, and he gives her the most dazzling, wide smile back. I really should have bought that carton of Marlboros. He asks her if she still likes ketchup on her eggs. She nods, probably not trusting her voice in the presence of such beauty. He tosses the covers aside, and getting out of bed tells her that he’ll make them breakfast, as I curse the fact that this is broadcast and not cable TV and I am denied further shots of his nakedness. As he walks out, Abby, sort of playing with the panties, which is actually a white thong and that’s more info than I needed, says that she thinks they probably slept through breakfast … and calling after him she adds “and lunch”. Hee. Considering that she wasn’t wearing matching lingerie, Abby apparently did not show up at his apartment last night with the intention of being there all night … and morning … and into the afternoon. Bitch.

Pratt is talking to an older lady in the hall. She comments that she can’t believe he is doing this to himself. This must be Mrs. Moe. Pratt looks away towards … yup, there’s Moe, being examined by Inez. Mrs. Moe asks Pratt if he can stop it. Pratt wants to know what the point is if Moe’s not going to take the medication. Mrs. Moe tries to tell Pratt that Moe’s not such a pain in the ass, you know. What color is the sky in the world you live in, Mrs. Moe? Because Moe is a huge pain in the ass. She thinks he’s just angry because he’s been so sick. She wishes Pratt could help him. Looking at Moe, Pratt again does the almost eye roll thing and says that he’s not sure he can. Mrs. Moe says that Moe is her life, which is really sad because if that’s true then undoubtedly her life sucks. She’s not ready to let him go. Mrs. Moe is clearly ready to join Abby in the nuthouse. Pratt doesn’t know what to say in the face of such lunacy as Mrs. Moe walks away.

Uncle Jesse, Partner and Neela are with a homeless guy. Uncle Jesse gives him money and tells him to take a cab. Not the right thing to do Uncle Jesse. I work with a lot of homeless shelters and the directors always tell you not to give them money but encourage them to go to a shelter, because they will most of the time use it for drugs, cigarettes or anything other than what they should. Uncle Jesse tells him to fake a seizure next time. Nice. Neela is walking away as Uncle Jesse catches up with her and asks “how about some sushi?” She gives him a look as he asks whether she likes sushi because he knows a great place. Neela asks Partner if Uncle Jesse ever stops and Partner tells her to get a ring because Uncle Jesse is scared of husbands. Neela says she told him she has a boyfriend, which again, must have happened off camera because she so did not tell him that in the last episode, and she really should have. Uncle Jesse sneeringly wants to know if he’s a lawyer, commodities trader and then really snidely says “a dentist?” Back off, Uncle Jesse. My husband’s a dentist and I really don’t want to have to kick your ass this early in the episode. Neela smilingly replies that he’s a doctor. Uncle Jesse asks if he’s at County, and Neela answers that he’s in the Army. Uncle Jesse, dropping the flirting, stops and says “Stateside, I hope” and Neela responds “Iraq”. Uncle Jesse wants to know if he’s in a CASH unit. Because I’ve seen the sitcom, I know that MASH means Mobile Army Surgical Hospital, but what’s CASH? Ah, the ever accommodating Google tells me it stands for Combat Support Hospital, and I guess they threw the A in to make it sound better, as Neela helpfully answers “Combat Support”. Uncle Jesse tells her that he was a medic in Desert Storm, 101st Airborne. Neela, looking hopeful, like she has a little too much of a Top Gun fetish, especially considering she has a boyfriend, says “did you fly planes?” He says that he just jumped out of them, and she smirks, because that isn’t as impressive. And you don’t get cool code names like “Maverick” and “Ice Man” for paratrooping. Uncle Jesse asks when he’s coming home and Neela replies soon, she hopes. Uncle Jesse, in an attempt to sort of make up for all of the over the top flirting, says that to prove that he’s a good guy, he’s going to let her sit up front and play with the sirens and everything. Sweet. I’d so love to do that. And he tells her he’ll buy her a cup of coffee, as I like Uncle Jesse more and more. Neela mockingly replies “With an empty wallet?” How does Neela know that? Or does she just assume Uncle Jesse gave homeless guy all of his money, because again, not a smart move, Uncle Jesse. Uncle Jesse shoots her a look as Partner tells her that paramedics and cops drink for free. Is that true??? Man, my old paramedic boyfriend was definitely holding out on me. Bastard. And if it is true, I am so signing up for the paramedic certification classes at my local community college, because my Starbucks addiction is getting way out of hand, and uber-expensive. Neela bitches that technically, Uncle Jesse isn’t buying her anything. Uncle Jesse retorts that technically it’s the thought that counts, and he’s got you there, Neela. At least that’s what my parents always told me when I got socks for Christmas instead of the latest Barbie accessory. Neela smiles after him as she closes the rear doors of the rig. Uncle Jesse climbs in the driver’s side. He yells to Neela to come on. As she goes to open the passenger door, Uncle Jesse, grinning, pulls a bit away. He stops and apologizes and says he won’t do it again as she gives him a disapproving look through the window. Of course, he does it again and says his foot slipped. Hee. Then he tells her “scout’s honor” as he waves his fingers around, clearly not knowing how you actually do the scout’s honor gesture, so he surely was not a Boy Scout. And he does it one more time, laughing. He finally stops, leans over and opens the door for her. She gets in smiling, because she apparently found this as amusing as I did. I know it’s been done to death, but Uncle Jesse was actually really cute about it. As she climbs in, he asks her what took her so long, then tells her to buckle up. Hee. Uncle Jesse and Neela have some chemistry, so I hope we’ll see some more of him. Neela needs a little levity, which is lacking in her relationship with Gallant, or as I like to refer to him, Plank.

Pratt is hanging an IV for Moe. Moe asks what the hell it is. Pratt tells him it’s monoclonal antibodies to stop the rejection. Moe bitches that he doesn’t want it. Pratt retorts that he’s getting it anyway. He hands him a cup with pills and tells him he’s going to take them too. He tells Moe that he spoke to his doctors at the Mayo and they’ve agreed to take him in transfer by helicopter. Uh oh, Moe. Helicopter is the equivalent of a four-letter word here in the ER. Moe grumbles that he’s not going. Pratt explains that the pills are neoral and if he takes it now he’ll have a detectable blood level by the time he gets there. Moe tells him he is wasting his time. Pratt ignores him and says that this is how it’s going to go, he’s going to take the pills, he’s going to get on the chopper, and he’s going to stay on his meds for as long as the donated heart keeps beating. Moe wants to know who the hell Pratt thinks he is. Pratt does the none-eyeroll again and points towards Mrs. Moe over at Admit telling him that she loves him. Pratt has no idea why she does because he personally finds Moe extremely annoying and I am so with you on that, Pratt. Pratt continues that if Moe thinks he’s helping her by killing himself, he’s wrong. Pratt tells him he is a miserable guy, again I’m with you, but that Mrs. Moe seems like a great lady and she wants to keep him around. Pratt hands him the pills and tells him to open wide.

Cut to helicopter blades spinning, which is never a good sign on this show. Mrs. Moe, Moe and a no name flight nurse are on board, which makes me miss Chuck … and Susan … and Sherry Stringfield … and her hair. Mrs. Moe is shaking Pratt’s hand, who is smiling widely at her, and Mekhi Phifer is really cute, why don’t they let him smile like that more? He hands a chart to Flight Nurse and backs away from the copter. Way away please, Pratt, because I don’t need to see any more chopped off appendages. Helicopter lifts off as Pratt watches. We see over his shoulder two lights off in the distance, moving towards each other. They collide and we hear an explosion as Pratt turns around to see what’s happened. Pratt watches as two fiery objects fall from the sky, trailing smoke and we hear what sounds like airplane drag.

Luka is washing dishes. What? He has that awesome, yet virtually unlit apartment and doesn’t have a dishwasher? And he’s washing the dishes? And he cooked? See, I knew he was perfect. If he does the laundry too, he’s my soulmate. Abby is drying. So obviously, she stayed. Smart move, Abby. As she is putting glasses away, the apartment starts shaking. And engine and high pitched whistling noises can be heard. She looks up surprised, then looks over at Luka, who is also looking up. Considering that she’s been there all night … and morning … and into the afternoon, you would think they’d be used to the earth moving.

Uncle Jesse gets in the rig, handing Neela a coffee and warning her to be careful because it’s hot, as we hear an explosion and see a flash of light that causes both of them to cringe and look out the windows.

After commercial, TV newscast tells us that two planes collided in mid-air and why do I get the really sneaking suspicion that Abby’s brother Eric was the Air Traffic Controller on duty? Hopefully because he has the whole bi-polar thing going on, he’s not allowed in a control tower anymore. Chi-Chi asks Sam if the trauma rooms are clear. Sam informs him that Sutures and Curtain Two are, too. Jerry tells Chi-Chi that CCU can take Jenkins, and again, off camera patient thing, and Inez says she’ll get him up next. Chi-Chi says that if they walk, they go right to the lobby. A random patient comes up and yells that he’s not moving and that he’s been waiting there six hours with a dislocated finger. Chi-Chi tries to tell him that they have a lot of critical patients in dire need, but Random Patient complains that his finger is critical. Chi-Chi says “excuse me?” and Random Patient repeats. Chi-Chi walks over and wants to see it. He grabs the finger, yanks it back into place and tells him “not anymore” as Random Patient screams in pain. Hee. Jerry tells them to please shut up as he tries to listen to what’s being said on the news. Newscaster says that a single-engine craft struck a passenger jet at low altitude, just a few moments after take-off. Jerry wants to know if it’s terrorists. Sam asks what airline Sally was on. The newscaster continues that the pilot lost control and collided with the ascending jet, and Ray comments to Chi-Chi “So much for conspiracy theory, huh?” Chi-Chi turns off the TV and tells them all that’s it, they are about to get clobbered. He starts barking out orders as the Pulsating Percussion of Precarious Predicaments plays. He wants six monitored beds in Exam Three. Kobayashi starts crashing into stuff as Pratt yells “damn it!” He tells Ray that he has two words for him, “hard restraints” and Ray answers that they’re not allowed to use them anymore. Well, somebody was paying attention to Sally and Chi-Chi’s demonstration of the Freedom splint, water-wing things last week. Good for you, Ray. Evidently, Pratt wasn’t and I’ll bet that neither was Abby. Ray and Sam grab Kobayashi. Ray yells for him to settle down as Kobayashi Mr. Miyagi’s that a warrior’s path is never easy. Pratt thinks they should “snow him with haldol”. Pickman the paramedic wants to know where the Attending is because the Battalion Chief called that there is a possible field amputation. Ray wants to go, but Pratt tells him that it’s not a good idea. Ray thinks he could use the experience. Pratt doesn’t think it’s a teaching drill. He tells Chi-Chi that he is going out with Pickman. Chi-Chi congratulates him and tells him to have her home by 10:00, but in the meantime he asks him to set some equipment up in the ambulance bay. Ray tells Chi-Chi that City fire needs a physician. Pratt says someone with experience. Ray thinks that someone with experience would be better there. Chi-Chi thinks it’s a tough call, and would clearly not like to have to make this decision. Yeah, he is so ER Chief material. Ray reminds him that he’s done his ride-alongs. Pratt asserts that they are going to need crikes, central access, chest tubes. Ray says that he’s good at that as Pratt declares that only if he’s supervised. Pickman tells them they need to roll. Chi-Chi tells Pratt to go, but wants his ass back in an hour. He didn’t specify, but I’m sure he wants the rest of you back, too, Pratt.

Cut to a fireman blowing chunks against the side of a building. Yum. I so needed to see that. Uncle Jesse and Neela jump out of their rig. Uncle Jesse grabs the drug box and airway kit. He hands Partner and Neela triage tags and explains that “Green is nothing, yellow is urgent, red is critical, black is dead”, as they walk towards the crash site. Camera pans back to show us the jetliner, as well as fires and all of the bodies lying in the street. Wow. Uncle Jesse, Neela and Partner peruse the carnage, looking more than a little disturbed. Camera pulls back to show the chaos of rescue workers interspersed with victims. Horrifying images and very well done. Close up on Neela looking disbelievingly at what she is seeing. They walk up to the Battalion Chief who Uncle Jesse calls “Chief Bukata”, who tells them that triage is set up on the north side. Uncle Jesse tells Neela to stick with him as she looks on the ground and sees a blown-up red overnight bag, conveniently just like the one Sally had, and I guess this means I’m not getting the Mouse ears back. The Heavy-hearted Horns of Hellfire and Horrendous Hardships play in the background. He unnecessarily tells her “one patient at a time”. Uh, Uncle Jesse, I know Neela is of Indian background, but she is not a Hindu god with multiple arms, so I think she already knows this. Neela runs over to a crushed car and tries to rouse the driver. His eyes are open and he is burned and staring into space. I didn’t go through medical school and internship, but even I can tell he’s dead, Neela. She keeps trying to wake him. She yells to Uncle Jesse that he’s not breathing and there’s no pulse. Uh, call me crazy, but I think that means he’s dead, Neela. Uncle Jesse tells her to black tag him and move on as Neela hangs a tag around dead guy’s neck.

Neela runs over to a burnt woman that looks a lot like Crispy from the Man With No Name episode, who is lying on the ground. Again, eyes open and staring so that we know she is dead. Apparently, Neela still doesn’t get it and keeps trying to rouse her. Cuts are interspersed of rescue workers and disoriented victims. Neela and Uncle Jesse share a terror-stricken look over the bodies.

Chi-Chi is in the ambulance bay, chewing gum. Nice. And professional. Ambulance unloads a patient and the paramedic tells him “flail chest, respiratory arrest.” Ray comes over as Chi-Chi tells them to move quickly to Trauma One, then ICU. Ray wants to know if Chi-Chi wants him to go with the patient, but Chi-Chi wants him to clear exam rooms. Ray protests that shouldn’t the nurses be …but Chi-Chi cuts him off that he should decide who stays and who goes as Ray rushes back into the hospital. Chi-Chi looks off and says “thanks for coming” as we see Luka and Abby walk up. Luka in t-shirt and jeans. Me like. Abby is wearing the same outfit she was in the final scene of last week’s episode, so apparently this really is supposed to be the next day. Though it seems that only applies to Abby and Luka, because didn’t Ray say he was off for a few days but here he is working a scheduled shift, and we knew that Neela had to work because she was afraid of getting in trouble for skipping the debriefing, but why would she worry if she knew she was going to be on her ride-along? Again, this show makes my brain hurt. Abby asks Chi-Chi where he needs them. He tells her there’s a hypotensive pelvis, ETA two minutes as they walk past him towards the hospital. Luka says they can triage in the waiting room. Chi-Chi questions that, and Luka says that it’s warm and the light is good. How would you know, Luka? You obviously have night vision because of the lack of light in the bat cave, so I don’t think you are the best judge of illumination. They stop to look at Chi-Chi as he scoffs that Luka can’t be serious. Abby glances at Luka, then back at Chi-Chi and tells him that is how they usually do it. Chi-Chi thinks this incident is like Night of the Living Dead, and Chi-Chi evidently has never seen that movie because they are not holed up in a farmhouse, I don’t remember a plane crash and I have yet to see any cannibalism. He thinks if you let the walking wounded through the door, it’s over, then asks them “you got me?” I don’t get what Chi-Chi is worried about, but whatever. He thinks triage should stay right there. Ambulance pulls in and Chi-Chi tells Abby it’s her pelvis, and I really think Luka would be a better authority on that, Chi-Chi.

Sam is on the phone as Inez walks by telling her that the plane was going to Cleveland. Sam says she doesn’t care about that and turns her back, but I can’t tell whether she is saying that to Inez or the person on the phone. Inez tells Ray that Sally was going to St. Louis. So I guess that wasn’t Sally’s luggage and I’m happy because I may get my souvenirs back after all. Ray replies “she’s okay?” as Sam tells phone call that she’ll deal with it. Ray asks her who’s in Two and she answers an altered stroke patient. Ray thinks they should park them in the hallway. Sam nods, and says “please, yes”. Sam looks really frazzled. Ray walks into Exam Two, pulls back the curtain and tells Stroke Patient they are going to have to move him. He goes over to the next curtain pulls it back, and sitting on the bed is Liv. She apologizes about her dad. Ray pissily says she’s not supposed to be there. She thinks he’s so cool for not pressing charges, and I don’t think it’s that great of him, Liv, considering he’s technically a statutory rapist and all. Ray tells her it’s not a good time. She says okay and asks if he gets off at 8:00. Not with you he’s not, Liv. Ray meant what he said about not seeing each other anymore, and she knows, she thinks that just because Teller’s a jerk doesn’t mean they can’t keep it going. Liv is so joining Abby and Mrs. Moe at the funny farm. Ray bitches that he got his ass kicked once and he doesn’t want to go to jail. Liv thinks they could keep it a secret, like Romeo and Juliet as Ray starts moving Stroke Patient. Um, Romeo and Juliet ended up dead, Liv, so I’m sure Ray’s not to thrilled with that plan. Pushing the gurney through the doors, Ray tells her to leave. She thinks he can’t just walk away. He asks that doesn’t she have some homework to do. Hee. She protests that she’s not a child, which makes both Ray and me scoff that yes, she is. She argues that she’s his girlfriend, and he’s tells her she’s not. And to prove how mature she is, she screams “Yes, I am!” as Abby bursts in with her unstable pelvis patient and Ray goes over to help her. Pushing the gurney, she tells Ray it’s 90 palp after a liter in and asks if he can check the dorsalis pedis. Liv screeches down the hall “I love you, Ray!” Abby looks back at her, and Ray covers by gesturing back towards Liv and laughing tells Abby “Clogged earwax. I had to help clean her out”. Abby doesn’t care any more than I do. She rolls her eyes and facing forward again, still walking, says “whatever”, and without missing a beat she ducks as we see Kobayashi flailing out an arm. Abby keeps walking as the arm clotheslines Ray, and he goes down. Hee. Great comic timing by Maura Tierney in that bit. She asks what the foot pulses, and looks back as she realizes Ray isn’t answering. Hee.

Someone is pulling a tarp over a blackened body. Nice. Partner and Neela are wrapping bandages around an old woman’s head as we hear someone yell her name. She looks up and sees Pratt coming towards her and asks what he’s doing there and he says he heard they needed help. Chief Bukata is telling Pickman the Paramedic that the fire’s knocked down at the fuselage and she yells “let’s go” to Pratt. Uncle Jesse is pulling a stretcher with Woody Evans, 85, auto vs. pedestrian, blunt chest. And we see that it’s Jerry’s Uncle Leo from Seinfeld. Neela tells Partner that their patient is not critical and to move her to the yellow tarp. She asks Uncle Leo how his breathing is. He says that it’s been better and that something fell and hit the car, and the car came right after him. Is it Christine? Because I don’t think it purposely went after you, Uncle Leo. Neela tells him to take a deep breath. Uncle Leo wants to know if the driver is okay, as the camera shows us a pancaked car. Guess not, Uncle Leo. Uncle Jesse tells him they’ll have to check on that and says that the BP is 95/60, tachy 120. Uncle Leo asks if they’ve seen a dog around. Uncle Jesse tells him to hold on and that they are going to give him some oxygen. Uncle Leo tells them he was walking the dog, but they are a little preoccupied with trying to treat him to pay much attention. Neela tells him he’ll feel a big stick in his arm as he “ow”’s. Uncle Jesse wants Uncle Leo to look at him as he puts oxygen tubes in his nose. Uncle Leo says it’s a cocker spaniel and have they seen it. I think they have more things to worry about right now, Uncle Leo, so shut it. Neela tells him to hold still as Uncle Leo goes on that maybe the dog didn’t get hit, because they’d have seen it if it did. Well, if it’s a little cocker spaniel, it very easily could have been squished under any of the debris piled around, Uncle Leo. Neela and Uncle Jesse want him to stay still as he starts yelling “Riley! Hey, Riley!” Guess there’s one more for Abby’s Asylum. Neela gives Uncle Leo a “put a sock in it” look.

We see more stuff burning and more Kentucky Fried corpses. Pratt and Pickman the Paramedic walk up to the plane’s burning fuselage. Pratt says “oh, man” as we see fireman pulling out bodies. Pickman asks a fireguy if they have anything for them, but fireguy tells them “not in there”. Chief Bukata leads them away and says that a guy in the back got lucky. They come up to a chunk of the plane that is not on fire as Doris the Paramedic is putting a collar on the neck of a guy who looks to still be sitting in his seat. Guess they’re not kidding when they tell you to keep the seat belt on while seated. Since he’s the only one around, I’m guessing everyone else was in line for the bathroom or something at the time of the collision. Pratt climbs up to them as Lucky Passenger asks if someone can call his fiancée. Pratt comments that the airway is good as he examines him. Pratt, surprised, says “Strong pulse. Unbelievable”. Lucky Passenger is saying that her name is Lila Frankfurt, as Doris says the line is in and that they need to get him down. Lucky keeps saying that she’s waiting for him. Pickman yells for Pratt as Chief Bukata orders a saw and a backboard. Pratt tells Lucky that he’s lucky, hence why I’ve nicknamed Lucky, Pratt. Lucky’s still asking for someone to call Lila, and seeing as he’s just fallen a few thousand feet, I’ll cut him a bit of slack for being a broken record here.

Pratt runs over to Pickman, who has a guy whose arm is trapped under a huge piece of wreckage. The patient’s name is Adrian and he can’t feel his arm. And he’s played by Paolo Seganti, who used to be Damian Grimaldi on the afternoon soap As The World Turns, and I swear I only watched to avoid going to class in college. Pratt says that the blood pressure’s high, and Damian snarks, “so’s my cholesterol”. Oh, since Damian is so witty in the face of adversity, he’s the patient we are supposed to root for this episode, which undoubtedly means he bites it in the end. Pratt wants to know if he’s taking Viagra, and Damian asks if he looks like he needs Viagra. You can’t see on camera now, but I remember Damian shirtless, and can tell you that he so does not. Yum. Pratt asks him to lift up his tongue, and he spritzs in what looks like some breath spray, because you just don’t feel minty fresh after a plane crash. We hear a saw going and Pratt yells that they need help with the extrication. Chief Bukata tells him to stand by. Pratt tells Damian to calm down, which is weird considering that Damian is actually pretty sedate, and that they are going to get him out of there.

More bodies, more rescues, more chaos. Uncle Jesse and Neela are still with Uncle Leo. Uncle Leo says something I don’t catch and Uncle Jesse’s all “what?” Neela helps that he said “thank you” in Hindi. Uncle Leo tells Neela he had to learn a little in ’44, Army Air Force, and that he flew supplies over the hump to China. Uncle Jesse asks “C-46’s?” as Neela says that she’s never been to India. A woman covered in blood and carrying a little girl comes running over towards them. Oh, great, it’s the Meryl Streep of the tennis world, Serena Williams. I honestly cannot understand a word that she is saying, which is going to make the rest of this recap interminable as I have to keep rewinding and hope the Closed Captioning keeps up. Thanks, Serena. Bitch. Apparently the little girl, whose name is Olive, was asleep when the window blew out and she got cut. Serena’s Closed Captioning (CC) says that her son is on the second floor and that his legs are cut and he can’t walk. Uncle Jesse says they’ll evacuate the apartment. Serena’s CC says that her building is not on fire, but Uncle Jesse replies that it’s a precaution. Serena’s CC thinks she can get in and out real quick and she starts to go, but Uncle Jesse grabs her hand and pulls her back. He tells her to stay there and they’ll get him and runs towards the building. Olive is screaming.

Chi-Chi runs out to meet Lucky Passenger’s ambulance. Lucky’s name is Baxter. Chi-Chi can’t believe he’s still got vitals, as Doris says he’s got a blunt face, penetrating chest. Luka runs up and says they’ve got a trauma room open. And Luka looks like he got a haircut since last week … I mean, last night. Maybe Abby cut it, though she really should do that to her own, seeing as it keeps flopping in her eyes. Doris says that the systolic’s down to 80 as Chi-Chi tells Luka it’s all his. Doris panics that she’s losing the pulse and Chi-Chi wants to prep for a thoracotomy. Luka tells him to hold up, and pulls a bandage off of Baxter’s chest. Baxter takes a deep breath and Doris says that his pressure is coming back up. Luka explains that the dressing converted it to a tension pneumo, and Chi-Chi’s impressed and tells them to go to Trauma One. Luka says he can’t waste a trauma room. Chi-Chi’s all “dude, he fell like 2000 feet”, but Luka thinks Baxter will be just fine with the chest tube and tells them to go to Exam Three as Chi-Chi walks away. Chi-Chi asks Doris where Pratt is and she says he’s coming back on the next run. Luka turns back to Chi-Chi and says incredulously “Pratt’s out there?” Uh oh, I’m again smelling something distinctly equine. Chi-Chi tells him they needed a doc. Luka says “Well, you gave away our senior resident?” Chi-Chi tells him not now, because he’s got to triage. Luka yells that they need their doctors there, not off playing in the field. Shut up, Luka’s High Horse! How could you possibly forget your biggest episode ever “The Crossing” when not one, but three doctors, you, Carter and Corday, went out to the site of the train wreck. Don’t remember you bitching about doctors staying at the hospital then. And didn’t Abby just call you on your Moral Superiority bullshit last week … I mean, last night? Or since you got some, did you just forget about the whole reason she went to your apartment in the first place? I can’t believe I’m actually going to use this word in relation to you, but it really is an unattractive trait.

Pratt is running from victim to victim, making sure they are set to be transported. He asks Pickman how Damian’s chest pain is, and she says it’s down to two out of ten. Pratt yells to Chief Bukata telling him they need help. Bukata tells him as soon as they get two out where they are working. Damian wants to know how his arm is. Pratt thinks it’s hard to say. Damian quips that he’s lucky because it could have been his head over there. That’s it, Damian, keep up the brave face so that we will all be so sad when you croak. Pickman asks if he still lives on Dearborn and he says yeah and that he was just over here to visit his girlfriend. He made her bougatsa, which is custard in phyllo dough. He bakes too? Damian is perfect too. But sorry, Damian, Luka got there first and is still my soulmate. Though if he doesn’t put the High Horse out to pasture soon, and you can bake something with chocolate, I may reconsider. Damian thinks women love a man who can cook, and I am so with you on that because I have a huge thing for Emeril. Pickman says there are PVC’s on the monitor and Pratt calls for lidocaine. He asks Damian if he went to chef school, and he answers that when he was a kid, his mom wouldn’t let them watch TV, which Pratt thinks is rough, because with those love handles he’s been sporting lately, it’s obvious that he has spent a lot of time vegging in front of the boob tube. Damian replies that they could either cook, or read a book, and since Oprah’s Book Club hadn’t been invented yet, he chose cooking. I’m so glad my parents utilized the electronic babysitter, because if my only source of recreation had been cooking, and therefore eating, they’d need a forklift to remove me from the sofa now. Damian starts to say that he never did like … and stops, as Pickman yells “v-tach!” Pratt grabs the defibrillator and tells Pickman to charge to 200. He shocks Damian into sinus rhythm. Damian’s awake and asks “what the hell was that?” Pratt shouts to Bukata that they can’t wait anymore.

Neela and Partner are working on Uncle Leo as Serena screeches something that Closed Captioning (CC) tells me is “My son’s still in there!” Partner tells her that Uncle Jesse went to check on him. Serena’s CC thinks he should be out by now. Neela tries to calm her down that someone will find her son. Uncle Leo magnanimously tells Neela that it’s okay, she should go help Serena. Aw, Uncle Leo, I guess that means you’re going to be pushing up the daisies soon too. Neela thinks he may have injured his aorta. Another crazy lady is bitching because they won’t let her back in to get her stuff and she needs her checkbook and jewelry and what is this, a police state? Lockhart’s Loony Bin is getting pretty full tonight. Serena is pacing. She glances at Neela, then at the cops distracted by Crazy Lady, and makes a break for it into the apartment building. Neela yells for her to come back. Uncle Leo tells her to go, she needs her, and I’m guessing Uncle Leo buys the farm soon. Neela runs after Serena shouting that she can’t go in there. Neela yells “hey, guys!” to try to get someone to help her as she enters. As soon as she gets inside, the building explodes, and we see Uncle Leo, Pratt, Partner, and then Olive all react. The building is an inferno as Olive screams for Serena.

Bukata is talking on the radio telling someone to keep moving because they’ve got people inside. He starts asking into it if Neela can read him. Coughing, she responds that she can. She’s trying to climb through the debris as flames are everywhere and we hear Serena caterwauling. Serena’s CC is yelling if anyone can hear her. The whole world can hear you, Serena, but no one can understand what the hell you are saying. Neela finds where Serena is, and she’s with Uncle Jesse, who has a mid-shaft femur fracture, which sounds really painful but he’s not even wincing. Serena is impaled on something. He yells for Neela to get out of the building. Bukata is asking Neela to talk to him. She says to hold on. Serena’s CC screeches that her son is in 207. I don’t think with all the flames and smoke that Neela is going to be able to read the apartment numbers, Serena. Serena’s CC begs her to help him as Uncle Jesse angrily orders Neela to get out. He reaches over to Serena and wants her to hold his hand, which would be sweet if it weren’t so overly dramatic and if Lt. Gorman and Vasquez hadn’t already done the same thing before they blew themselves up in Aliens. Neela starts running up the stairs, telling Bukata that Uncle Jesse and Serena are trapped inside the basement.

As firemen are preparing to lift the wreckage off of Damian, Bukata implores Neela to give him her location so that his guys can get to her. Over the walkie-talkie we hear Neela say that there is a boy trapped on the second floor and she’s going to get him. Pratt grabs the radio and tells Neela to turn around. She says she’s almost there. Pratt tells her to get her ass out now. Neela ignores him and starts shouting for the little boy. He answers as Pratt keeps saying for her to get the hell out of there. Neela finds the little boy in a corner. She grabs a blanket, wraps him up, lifts him and starts running out. She tells him to cover his mouth. She’s carrying him down the steps as Bukata keeps calling her and asking her to acknowledge. A fiery beam drops on the staircase in front of her. Her radio is laying on a step as we hear Bukata call her again. Then Pratt yells “Neela, respond! Neela!” Damian asks him if someone is in trouble and he replies “a friend from work”. Pickman tells Pratt that there are guys all over the building and they’ll get her. Damian says that if this all works out, he’s baking them a cake. Awww. Too bad, ‘cause I’m pretty sure this won’t work out. Pratt says he more of a low-carb guy, which seems to really be working out for you, Pratt, what with the aforementioned love handles and all. Damian tells Pratt that he can’t just eat to live, and clearly you aren’t looking very closely at Pratt’s expanded middle, Damian, or you’d know that’s not true, but you have to live to eat. Firemen lift the debris, and they pull out Damian’s arm, which is bloody and hanging like limp spaghetti. Pickman says there’s no radial pulse, no ulna. Pratt presses on the arm and asks Damian if he can feel it, but Damian is out of it and goes into v-tach again. They shock him again, but it doesn’t work, as Pratt listens to the chatter on the radio, trying to find out about Neela. Pratt calls for an amp of epi, and shocks Damian again. Still not working. Pratt starts compressions as we hear a voice come over the radio saying that they’ve found a female body on the second floor with no vitals.

Cut to Neela running up the stairs with Little Boy. She trips and falls and lands on her back. She’s in pain as Little Boy yells at her to get up. Yeah, pretty clear he’s Serena’s son because he’s annoying, too.

Jerry runs past Sam in the hall asking who’s next for the OR. Sam says an avulsed ear in two, tib fib in four, then the patient she’s working on. Haleh walks in, pulling off her scarf. Sam thanks her for coming in. Haleh says she’s glad to help and asks if Sally’s there. Sam tells her no, but it’s okay, because she’s just going to tell Sally that’s the way it is. Good for you, Sam, take a stand. Which is easy to do with Sally out of town and not able to do anything about it. Inez walks by bitching that they are out of cefotetan and DT. Sam, harried again, says she’ll call the pharmacy and Haleh says she’ll get to work.

Baxter is having his mouth suctioned and asks if that’s blood, because he definitely can’t see the bloody pulp that his face is. Luka tells him he cracked a bone in there. Abby says he has minimal chest tube output. Baxter asks her who called his fiancée. Luka replies that in a minute Baxter can call her himself. Baxter, holding the suction himself, says that they were supposed to meet with the caterers and DJ tonight. Abby asks for Vaseline gauze, and Luka hands it to her as Baxter continues that tomorrow it’s the flowers and the pastor and that she’ll be worried. Haleh walks in and Luka looks up, smiles and says “Haleh?” She tells him that Sam called and it’s a good thing to because she’s been home for two weeks and her husband was driving her crazy. I’m with you on that, sister. Smiling, Abby tells her that she’s glad she’s back, and she really does look glad. Luka calls for a portable chest. Baxter starts gagging and Haleh says the sats are dropping. Baxter falls unconscious and Abby calls his name and rubs his breastbone, as they lay the bed flat. Luka listens over Baxter’s face and says he’s not breathing. They open his mouth and Abby says that he knocked out the alveolar ridge and fractured teeth nine, ten and eleven, as she puts the suction in his mouth. Luka thinks he must have aspirated the fragment. He tells Abby to do a finger sweep, which since it’s Luka saying it to her, it sounds kind of kinky, but he means on Baxter.

Pratt is doing compressions on Damian as they are wheeling him to the ambulance. Pratt wants to know if they’ve identified the body yet, and Pickman tells him it was a woman in her 80’s and they are still looking. Cut to Neela, still carrying Little Boy, who is asking for Serena. Cut back to Pratt asking if they’ve found anyone else inside. He’s still doing compressions but holds up when he realizes that Damian is awake. As soon as he stops, Damian starts to crash again. He starts compressions again as Damian wakes up. Pratt tells him that his heart has stopped beating and they are doing CPR. Can that really happen? Can you be awake and fully conscious while they are doing that? It’s freaky, and it’s also freaking out Pratt and Pickman. Pratt tells her that the compressions are getting oxygen to his brain. He tells Damian that they are going to get him to the hospital, as they load the gurney on the rig. Pratt, still doing compressions, keeps looking back towards the building that Neela is in.

Neela’s still making her way down a fiery hallway. She’s coughing and stops, as firemen find her. Cut to Neela walking holding an oxygen mask to her face as Bukata bitches at her that she had no business going in there. She apologizes and he continues that she put herself and his men in danger, which she did, but she also saved Little Boy, and probably Uncle Jesse and Serena, too. Neela wants to know if they can talk about it later, and Bukata assures her they will. Neela walks over to where Uncle Leo is. There’s a cocker spaniel sitting next to him. Neela says to him that he found his dog. He doesn’t respond, because of course, it’s dirt nap time. A random paramedic tells her that he probably blew out his aorta. Neela can’t believe it and says she was just talking to him. Well, technically, Neela, that was like twenty minutes ago, plenty of time for bucket kicking as Random Paramedic pulls the tarp over Uncle Leo.

Partner yells for Neela. He’s got Serena on a gurney and there’s something sticking out of her abdomen. I’m not sure what it is, but it certainly isn’t an Emmy award. Partner tells another random paramedic to take the mom and kids together. Serena’s CC thanks Neela. Partner calls for Neela again and says “pressure’s borderline”. Neela, breathing heavily, walks over to Partner and Uncle Jesse, who is lying on the ground with a neck brace on. Uncle Jesse says “distal neuro-circ is intact”. Neela tells him he can stop being the med student, and he replies as soon as she stops being the firefighter. She pulls off the collar.

Abby can’t get whatever it is down Baxter’s throat because his tongue is too edematous, which Google says means swollen with an excessive accumulation of fluid. Luka grabs the tongue with the forceps, which makes me cringe because I can just imagine what that feels like, and tells Haleh to bag Baxter a few times. Haleh says she can prep his neck, but Luka wants Abby to take another look, and says he’ll retract. Abby gives him an uncertain glance, then looks in Baxter’s mouth. Haleh says he’s throwing PVC’s and she’ll get the crash cart. Abby says “there it is” and Haleh stops. Luka pulls back on Baxter’s tongue so that he looks like Gene Simmons from KISS, as Abby sticks the clamp down his throat, says she’s got it, and pulls something out. She holds up what looks like a bone fragment and shows it to Luka, kind of proudly. Baxter gasps and sits up. Haleh, chuckling, says “see something new every day”, as they try to settle Baxter down. Luka calls for 15 liters by mask. Abby smiles at Luka and says “nice work”. He grins at her and tells her she did great, and she literally beams at him.

Luka goes into the hallway as Damian is being wheeled in, Pratt still doing compressions. Pratt tells Luka it’s a probably MI with refractory v fib. Chi-Chi is walking behind them and he and Luka simultaneously say “Trauma One”. Pratt says Damian has an ischemic right arm. Chi-Chi and Luka again say at the same time “Be right in”. They stare each other down. Luka walks over and tells Inez that her patient needs to get to the Suture Room. Chi-Chi doesn’t think so. Luka thinks the lac is complicated. Chi-Chi doesn’t think it’s that complicated. He places something over a gaping head wound as Luka watches. Chi-Chi says “What, you’ve never seen The Zipper before?” as he pulls the zipper closed, snaps off his gloves and walks away, shooting a look at Luka over his shoulder. Luka and Inez have “what just happened?” looks on their faces.

Neela is asking Uncle Jesse if he has any chest pain, and he’s says it’s his belly and thinks he broke a rib. Neela says it’s his liver and tells Partner they need to scoop and run. Partner says they have to wait for another rig. Neela can’t believe they don’t have an ambulance and Partner reminds her that they’ve just sent 30 patients in. Uncle Jesse’s heart rate goes up to 140. He thinks it’s because he’s in pain. Neela says maybe. Uncle Jesse wants them to put him in shock position and elevate his legs. Neela needs to stick his belly. That doesn’t sound like something Gallant would approve of, Neela. Uncle Jesse asks “Peritoneal aspiration?” He starts to tell her that maybe she should numb up his … as she sticks him and he yells. He’s groaning as she says it’s positive. He questions “splenic lac?” and she replies “most like hepatic”, and I am just so lost on this conversation. Uncle Jesse was hoping for the spleen. Neela wants to know if they have lap pads, but Partner says just burn dressing. Neela squirts betadine on Uncle Jesse’s belly and asks Partner for 10 of them and to push etomidate. Partner asks what she’s doing. Neela tells Uncle Jesse that she needs to sedate him, open up his belly, and pack off his liver. She can do that? I guess that was the point of the hand squishing surgery on Ponyboy with Dubenko last week because isn’t that what they had to do to him? Partner can’t believe she’s serious. Neela asks Uncle Jesse if she has his permission. He asks if she’ll go out with him. I can’t believe that Uncle Jesse can still flirt in the face of death, but I guess we’re supposed to find him that charming. Neela gives him a WTF look and says that she needs to do this. He presses that if she didn’t have a boyfriend, yes or no? She says yes, so I’m guessing Gallant ain’t long for this world because I’m pretty sure Uncle Jesse will be back. Uncle Jesse tells her he’s all hers. Neela wants Partner to bag Uncle Jesse while she does this. Neela is talking to herself through each step of the impromptu surgery.

Pratt is shocking Damian again, but still gets v-fib. Ray is worriedly asking him when was the last time he saw her. Pratt reminds him that he told him they were a block apart. Pratt resumes compressions on Damian. Ray thinks Pratt should have kept an eye on her. Pratt ignores this and asks Sam about a pronestyl drip, and she says it’s infusing. Pratt asks Ray if he thinks he could have done better. Ray wouldn’t have let her go into a burning building and sure as hell wouldn’t have left her there. He’s really bitching Pratt out. The way Ray is acting, seems pretty sure that he has a thing for his “roomie”. Damian opens his eyes as Pratt is still pounding on his chest. Sam says “guys”, and they look over at Damian. Ray looks shocked that he’s awake. Sam holds Damian’s head and tells him that he’s doing okay. Ray wants Pratt to take a break, but Pratt says he’s got it. Ray insists as the Sonorous Synthesizer of Sorrowful Situations plays. Pratt tells Damian that they are doing what they can. Sam holds up Patient Communication Board that Sally Vanna White’d last week, and I really hope they wiped off Abby’s “This Is Ass”, because I don’t think Damian would enjoy the joke right now. Sam tells Damian that all he has to do is point. He points to “unsure” and Pratt explains that they are using all the medication they can to fix his heart and sometimes it takes a while. He then points to “family”, and Sam asks if he wants them. She tells him that they’ve called him and they are on their way. It’s hard to watch this because he’s awake during all this CPR and is cognizant of the fact that it’s what’s keeping him alive, and it’s really unsettling.

Neela and Partner are wheeling in Uncle Jesse. Neela is still coughing and breathing heavily. She yells to Chi-Chi that it was a 15-foot fall and she packed off the liver. Chi-Chi’s incredulous that she did it in the field as Abby comes running up behind Neela. Chi-Chi remarks “damn, girl”, as Neela states that he was about to arrest. Abby asks if he was awake when she opened him up. Neela says she had etomidate. Chi-Chi says to Abby “It’s always the quiet ones, isn’t it? Always the quiet ones”. Chi-Chi says that he’ll take Uncle Jesse up to the OR and let Dubenko finished what she started. He looks admiringly at Neela and says she has “big huevos, Neela. Big brass ones. And they look good on you”. Hee. Neela calls after him that she had no idea what else to do, as Abby asks if she’s okay and that they need to put her on a pulse ox. Abby wants to examine her, but Neela, wheezing, says she’s fine. Abby says “yeah, you sound terrific” and holds Neela’s head so she can look up her nose. Neela insists she’s okay. Abby tells her she has singed nasal hair which indicates substantial smoke inhalation and steers her over to a pulse ox. Neela says she just needs to wash off a bit and Abby says that she’d hate for her to stop breathing. Neela snarks that she’d hate that too. Abby argues “Neela, come on” as she puts on the finger probe. Neela bitches “can’t I just pee first”, and Abby replies that she’ll get her a bedpan. Hee.

Abby’s listening to Neela’s lungs in the Curtain Area. She tells her “94 on room air. That’s not great. And there’s some expiratory wheezes.” Neela, still breathing hard, says they’ll pass, but Abby thinks they might get worse. She tells Neela she’s a little bit worried. Neela doesn’t respond, so Abby sort of chucks her under the chin and says “hello?” Neela apologizes. Breathless, she goes on that today was so terrifying and amazing, as Abby looks at her, concerned. Neela’s eyes are a little wild as she continues that there were no labs, x-rays, rapid infusers, cut-down trays, just her. Neela says “Maybe it’s the adrenaline, but …I feel high. I need to go back out.” And she looks high. Abby smirks at her that it sounds like she should call for a psych consult. Given the track record of the Psych Department, I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Abby. They might take you instead, especially considering the diminished capacity you yourself were showing by actually wanting to leave Luka’s bed earlier. Barmy bitch. Neela inhales deeply on the nebulizer and tells Abby there are still patients out there, and Abby says they are being handled. Inez interrupts to tell Abby that Dubenko called and Alice Watson died on the table. Abby nods sadly and thanks her. Neela asks if it was a patient of hers and Abby nods and says “impaled abdomen”. Neela asks “from the crash?” Abby nods and Neela asks where her kids are. Guess Alice was Serena. Too bad …but not really. Abby says they are in Exam Two. Neela gets up painfully and starts walking over there. Abby calls after her that she needs to be monitored, but Neela ignores her and goes in. Abby walks over and watches through the window and sees Neela sits down with Serena’s kids as the Turgid Tune of Terminated Tennis Toppers plays.

Luka is walking Baxter’s gurney towards the elevators. He calls to Abby and she rushes over, asking how Baxter is doing. Luka tells her his lung is up after two chest tubes and they are going up to ICU. Baxter mush-mouths, because he’s missing all those teeth, “I stopped breathing?” Abby tells him it was more like holding his breath. He wants to know if he could have died, and Luka says “theoretically, yes”. Abby ironically tells him that she thinks he was in more danger on the plane. Baxter’s all proud of himself because he cheated death twice today. You obviously haven’t looked in a mirror, Baxter, because once you see what you look like and realize you’re going to have some hefty dental bills, you won’t be so smug. Luka thinks Baxter’s lucky. Abby glances at Luka weirdly, because she’s apparently thinking about how he got lucky earlier. Baxter guesses that he should feel bad, or guilty or something, but the truth is, and then crying like a little girl says he feels happy. He has a second chance. He tells them he’s calling off the wedding. Luka looks at Abby, who, a little surprised, shoots a look back at Luka, then smiling, tells Baxter he might want to sleep on that, probably thinking about what she slept on last night. Baxter’s been sleeping his whole life and never does what he wants to do, or says how he really feels. He’s not in love with his fiancée. Luka thinks that maybe the two of them should talk about that, as Abby looks up at him. Baxter says “screw that! Screw it! No more messing with could’ve, should’ve, would’ve. Carpe diem!” Hee. Baxter’s cracking me up. Abby seems amused too and swinging her arms tells him as he’s getting loaded onto the elevator “alright, well, good luck with that”. As the door starts to close, Baxter says “besides, I’m pretty sure I’m gay”. Hee. Luka and Abby grin and share a look.

Ray is still doing compressions on Damian. Pratt asks if he’s getting tired, but he isn’t. Sam brings in Damian’s girlfriend, brother and uncle and says that she explained everything. Pratt says he’s sorry and that they gave Damian every kind of medication possible and nothing’s working right now. Ray tells them that Damian’s awake and they can talk to him. Uncle tells him to hang on because everyone is coming. Ray looks up and sees Neela in Exam Two and tells Pratt to check it out. Ray smiles and Pratt guesses that she’s okay and Ray agrees.

Sally walks over to Admit as Jerry says in his best schlock horror voice “Ah, it’s alive”. Hee. Sally says that they shut down the Dan Ryan and that it took her two hours to get there. She asks where Sam needs her. Jerry suggests Peoria. I’d be careful if I were you, Jerry. Since you abhor violence, and she has already told Morris that with her extensive knowledge of the human anatomy she could kill him with her middle finger, I’m thinking Sally could easily kick your ass. Sally asks how they did. Sam chirps, “still here”. Sally’s surprised there are no ICU boarders. She asks if they are re-open for trauma, and Sam says “yup”. She asks Jerry to call housekeeping for T-one, pharmacy is there to restock. Kobayashi, who I didn’t realize is just wearing tighty whities under the robe and I so did not need to see that and the only person whose underwear I am in the least interested in is Luka’s, and preferably when they are being taken off, asks if someone can remove the water-wing looking Freedom splints they restrained him with earlier. Sam tells Sally to go for it. Sally asks Kobayashi why he’s restrained and he says he has no idea. Sally spots Haleh pushing a gurney. She makes a “what have we here?” face as Sam notices Sally noticing Haleh. Jerry points to what looks like the family from My Big Fat Greek Wedding and tells Sam that the rest of Damian’s family is here. Sam says she’ll be right there. Sally asks what Haleh is doing there. Sam turns away and says that Exam Two is going up to Four-West and she is going to help Pratt with the trauma. Sally asks if Sam brought her back. Sam says yeah, Haleh is one the best nurses in town and they were getting their asses handed to them and she did whatever she thought she could. Sally looks pleased and says “good move” and walks away, leaving Sam and her flat hair to be like WTF?

Neela is walking out the doors with Abby right on her heels. Abby tells her she needs a chest x-ray. Neela bitches that she told her she’s fine. She wants Abby to tell the kids that she’ll check on them in the morning. Abby says “Oh, Neela! Come on”. Neela complains that she’s been on for 16 hours. Abby counters what if her lungs get worse. Neela says she’ll call 911. Abby pleads with her to just stay in the hospital and sleep in the call room, but Neela wants to be home tonight, in her own bed. Abby thinks that might not be safe. Neela pissily says that if she starts to die, Abby will be the first one she calls. Abby says fine, she’ll come and stay at Neela’s place. Neela doesn’t think that’s necessary. Neela’s being a bit of a pain in the ass here because Abby is genuinely concerned about her. Abby wants to know if there is anything she can say to get Neela to stay. Neela says no. Abby blurts out that she slept with Luka and stops walking, as Neela retorts “Yeah, nice try”. Ha!!! Neela goes up the steps towards the El, as Abby stares after her, with a look that says she realizes not only what she said, but what she had done.

Pratt is doing compressions on Damian as his family gathers around. Uncle wants to know how it’s going to go if they stop. Pratt replies that there will be a lack of oxygen to the brain and he’ll pass out, like he’s going to sleep. Girlfriend, who’s all weepy, asks if he’ll be in pain. Weepy is not a good crier and looks more constipated than caring. Sam assures her that he’s had a sedative and he’ll be comfortable. Damian is watching Pratt. Weepy asks Pratt if they’ve done everything. He already told you that, Weepy. I get that you are upset, but you are really annoying. Pratt tells her they have. Damian touches Pratt’s hand and Pratt asks if he wants him to stop as the Somber Strings of Subsequent Sadness play. Pratt asks if he’s ready and Damian blinks. Weepy starts weeping and Damian grabs her hand. Pratt stops compressions. Weepy starts wailing, unconvincingly, thus ruining any sadness I might have had about Damian’s passing. Thanks, Weepy. Pratt, Sam and Ray are more believably grief-stricken than Weepy. Pratt says he’s sorry as Weepy warbles. Pratt walks out, tossing his gloves away. He meets Sam in the hallway. Sam thinks Damian was a lucky guy. Pratt answers that he’s dead. Kind of negates the luck thing there, Sam. Sam clarifies that a lot of people loved him and he got a chance to say goodbye.

Chi-Chi is on the phone telling someone that they have to stop calling him. He says because they’re done and have been done. He’s telling whoever that they are not listening to him. He condescendingly says “let me say it to you really nice and slow for the last time. I … don’t … love …you. Go back to your husband”. Ooh, Chi-Chi. I’m disappointed … and intrigued. He hangs up. Turning around he spots Luka who is putting on a scarf and coat. Chi-Chi puts his arm around Luka’s shoulder and suggests that they have a little sit down. Luka says probably, but Chi-Chi thinks definitely and that they are both captains on this team and if they break down the whole machine breaks down. Luka’s not really listening to him. Chi-Chi says that they just can’t have that, especially on days like today. Luka says he agrees. Chi-Chi goes on that he thought he was the incident commander and thought he was clear and … Luka interrupts that they should talk tomorrow, and walks away. Chi-Chi thinks tomorrow is great. Luka walks out the door as Chi-Chi says after him that he’ll be there all day, 8:00 to 8:00.

Abby is walking back towards the hospital. Luka walks out into the ambulance bay. He’s all bundled up, and she’s just wearing her lab coat and the low cut top. She doesn’t seem cold, so this is weird. Seeing her he says “hey”, and she grins at him and replies “hi”. They stop and stand there, kind of awkward. Playing with her hair, she says “rough night”. He’s glad it’s over and she agrees. Another uncomfortable silence that she breaks by asking if Baxter got upstairs okay. Luka says that he’s fine, but he’s not so sure about his fiancée, and they chuckle. Simultaneously, they say “I was thinking …” Both smiling, he apologizes and she tells him to go ahead, he says no and she again tells him to go ahead. She nods at him and he says okay. They both keep looking at each other and looking away. He folds his arms across his chest as she stands with her hands in her pockets. He says “I was just thinking about …”, then looking at her and a little bit more surely says “I was thinking … about what happened … last night”, and then looks down. She nods and glances away, smiling. He looks up at her. Still looking off, she nods, raises her eyebrows, and looking more than a little pleased, says quietly “it was nice”. Luka looks at her quizzically, because that is apparently not the word he would have used, and says “nice?” Playing with her hair yet again, Abby looks at him apprehensively and self-consciously replies “yeah … wasn’t it?” He says “no … yeah … of course” and grins sheepishly. Abby pointedly questions “but?” Luka asks “what?” and she replies quickly “I don’t know”. He shakes his head a little and looks down. She gazes at him, shrugs, shakes her head and kind of smiling asks “I don’t know … what do we do now?” He shrugs and replies that he’s not sure. Another awkward moment as he looks like he is either trying to get his courage up or trying to find the right words to tell her something. He smiles and in a really husky and incredibly sexy low voice says that for a long time, even when they weren’t connecting a lot, she has been the one person that he could count on. Nodding, she agrees that she feels like that too. I am so glad they both said this because it just very succinctly sums up what their relationship has been. He says it means a lot to him … that friendship. Abby looks stunned, then really disappointed, you can actually see her thinking “Oh, God, no, not the ‘let’s just be friends speech’”, as she nods and sadly replies “me too”. He gazes at her. She steels herself and preemptively strikes, “So? Maybe we should just leave it at that then.” Luka looks a bit crestfallen, like this isn’t the way he meant this to turn out, and looks away. He stammers “I don’t know …I don’t want to lose that … if that’s what you …I mean, if that’s what … what’s the best”. Abby interrupts “so what we’re just saying is that we’ll just stay friends, then?”, looking at him closely and obviously wanting him to disagree. He nods, a little dejectedly, and asks if she needs a lift. Looking a little taken aback, then conspicuously covering, she says no, she has some stuff she needs to finish inside. He looks down, then says “good night” and she says “see ya”. They start to walk, almost bumping into each other, back up, then walk off in opposite directions, he towards Jumbo Mart, she towards the hospital. She turns around, clearly wanting to say something else to him, but stops as she sees him continue to walk away. She turns back and heads towards the doors. She’s rubbing at her chest, almost like she’s wearing a necklace, which she’s not, and playing with it. He stops, turns around and watches her keep walking. Even with all the miscommunication, this was a very cute scene.

Neela, coughing, opens the outside door to her apartment building, but something makes her stop and turn around. As she does, she sees Gallant getting out of a cab across the street as the Saturated Symphony of Sappy Romances play. He turns to see her. Her face lights up. She runs across the street and flings herself into his arms, and he hugs her tightly as tears stream down her face and they block traffic. After the day Neela has had, even my cynical heart is a little touched by this.

Once again, no Morris. Why bother to make Scott Grimes main cast? Not that I’m complaining, because it was another really good episode.

And now hissy fit time. The assholes at my local NBC affiliate here in Philly decided that it was more important to break in and tell me that it’s cold outside, like I didn’t already freaking know that, than it is to show me the promo for the next episode! Weatherman Glenn “Hurricane” Schwartz is now my nemesis and I wish I had a voodoo doll of him, too. As it is, I will be wishing all sorts of hateful things on him for the next two weeks, or until some kind soul takes pity on me and sends me a clip of the promo. And while I was having my conniption, I managed to wake up all three kids. Yay, me. Except, not.

ER 12. 7 The Human Shield

Previously on ER: Neela tells Ray they need to clean the apartment because Gallant is coming, Ray says he won’t be there for another three days, but Neela just wants it to look nice for him because he’s been in Iraq for a long time; Neela enters the bathroom to find Zoe the Groupie, who looks like a young Liv Tyler, brushing her teeth; Neela finds out that Liv is only 14 years old; Ray wants to know why Liv didn’t tell him how old she was and she says that he never asked, then Neela gives her a prescription for doxycycline for the Chlamydia; Sally from Third Rock from the Sun and Sam confront Haleh about her overtime and Sally fires her; Morris asks Weaver who Clemente is; John Leguizamo, aka Victor Clemente, aka Chi-Chi Rodriguez from To Wong Foo gets fed up arguing with “a television set”, the robotic contraption that allows Dubenko to do surgical consults while he convalesces at home from his prostate cancer treatment, and pushes it out of Trauma Green and into the drug lock-up; Pratt asks Weaver if Chi-Chi will be the new department chief, to which she responds that they are forming a committee, but Pratt thinks Chi-Chi wouldn’t be there if he weren’t interested in the job.

Close up of a child’s hand coloring a restaurant-type paper placemat with pictures of animals. Camera pans up to a blond-haired girl sporting pigtails. She’s cute. We hear a voice ask her if she is going to eat her eggs. She looks up and says they are cold. C. Thomas Howell, who played Ponyboy Curtis in the 80’s classic The Outsiders is sitting in a diner with the young girl who seems to be his daughter. On the table next to her is a stuffed dog. Seeing him gets me excited that maybe some of his castmates will show up, like Rob Lowe, Emilio Estevez, Matt Dillon, hell, even Ralph Macchio would be okay. But for God’s sake, no Tom Cruise. And I’ve already been waiting for Patrick Swayze to arrive, with Wesley Snipes, ever since Chi-Chi came to the ER last month. And wow, Ponyboy is looking old. Lots of gray. Too much hard living, Pony? Because you so did not “stay gold” like Johnny told you to. He asks the girl if she’s going to eat her waffles, but she says she’s not hungry, she has a stomach ache. Ponyboy asks if she wants to bring them home with her. He picks up her stuffed dog and starts playing with it in front of her and telling her in a funny voice that “Mr. Coogy might want to eat them later”. She smiles at him and says “he doesn’t like waffles”. Pony looks up and sees a guy behind the counter talking on the phone. The guy looks like he is probably the manager and he’s looking at Pony. Pony starts acting kind of nervous and looks around for their waitress. He spots her and asks if they can get their bill. The waitress apologizes and says their machine is still out. Pony visibly blanches and looks down as she asks him if he’d like more coffee. He tells her no and thanks her. She replies it should be just a couple of minutes. The manager is off the phone, but is staring at Pony. Pony pulls out his wallet and tells the little girl that they are leaving. He throws some money on the table, tells her to hurry up and grab her coat, then asks her if she wants her picture. She says no, but he grabs it anyway and leads her out of the dining room and through the kitchen. One of the cooks yells at him that he can’t come back there, but Ponyboy ignores him and keeps walking. They go out the door and are behind the building. Pony looks around, but doesn’t see anything and starts to relax. He grabs the little girl’s hand and holds it. He tells her he likes her picture and he thinks they should keep it. The little girl looks at him, and then off over his shoulder. He turns and gets a concerned look on his face as the camera cuts to two police cars screeching to a halt in the parking lot. Pony, still holding the girl’s hand, tries to open the restaurant door, but it is locked. He picks the girl up and holds her with his left hand. With his right, he pulls out a gun and aims it at the police and starts firing. They start firing back. Would they really do that??? Aren’t they afraid they are going to hit the little girl? I know he is shooting at them, but I can’t believe they would take the chance of the girl getting hurt. Pony starts to run with the girl, who is clinging to his neck. He keeps shooting at the police as he is crossing the parking lot. He hits one of the policemen, who goes down. An ambulance pulls in and Pony shoots out the driver’s side window, causing the paramedics to duck. Wounded cop yells out that he’s hit. The paramedics get out of the ambulance and run up behind one of the police cars. One of the paramedics is played by John Stamos, better known as Uncle Jesse from Full House, though not sporting the mullet he did when on that show. One of the cops shoots Pony, who goes down, dropping his gun. The cops approach carefully, kick the gun out of the way, and come around to the side where the little girl is sitting, leaning against Pony’s prostrate body. Ooh, looks like Pony got shot in the head, but he’s still moving and the cops tell him to stay down. One of the cops kneels next to the little girl, who looks up at him, blood splattered across her face. Camera pans down and we see that she has been shot in the lower right part of her chest. She is still clutching her toy dog. Paramedics come over and tell her to try to stay still. Uncle Jesse says he’ll call for another rig as we crash into Opening Credits.

After commercial, a huge patient in a neck brace who looks a lot like Marsellus Wallace from Pulp Fiction has his hands around Chi-Chi’s neck and is lifting him up off the floor and against a wall in an Exam Room. Sam is yelling for Marsellus to put him down. She runs out, shouting for security. Marsellus wants to know what the hell Chi-Chi is doing. Chi-Chi, choking, says that he was just checking for internal bleeding. Marsellus says “by sticking your finger in my butt?” Ooh, not a good move, Chi-Chi. If I remember Pulp Fiction correctly, Marsellus had a real problem with things entering through the back door. Chi-Chi holds up a gloved finger that is covered with what is, and can only be described as, shit. Yuck. He tells Marsellus that it’s called a guiac test. Marsellus sees the finger and tells Chi-Chi to get it away from him. Chi-Chi moves his finger forward and wipes the shit onto Marsellus’ nose. Nice. Another smart move, Chi-Chi. I suspect that now that you’ve extracted some from him, Marsellus is now going to beat the shit out of you. Marsellus is as grossed out as I am, drops Chi-Chi, and backs away. Sam and a security guard run in as Marsellus keeps bitching about the crap. Sam goes over to Chi-Chi, asks if he’s okay and helps him up. Marsellus is still ranting about how terrible it is and yells for someone to get him a towel. Chi-Chi, after composing himself, says the guiac’s negative. He tells Sam to give Marsellus two of Ativan, and then corrects himself and says four, and orders a c-spine and first-day labs. Marsellus keeps bitching in the background. As Chi-Chi walks out, Marsellus yells after him that he needs a tetanus shot.

Pratt is standing in front of the board. He looks up and sees Sally standing on the other side. He asks what she wants, and she questions if he’s seen his Volunteen, KJ, around. Pratt looks over his shoulder then says “nope”. Sally says she hasn’t either and she’s going to “broom him”. I know Sally’s a witch, but I didn’t think she actually had a broom. Pratt tells her she can’t fire him because he’s a volunteer. Sally thinks he’s a very involuntary volunteer and she needs kids they can count on. Pratt agrees to talk to him. Chi-Chi walks up, claps his hands and says “okay kids, gather round”. Are we going to sit around the campfire, sing songs, tell ghost stories and make s’mores? “Cause I swear the last time I heard someone say that was when I was in Brownies and we went to camp. He tells them it’s showtime. I get all excited because I think John Leguizamo is going to launch into a version of Freak, his one-man show. But no. He looks over at Abby and Ray who are standing over in the Curtain Area. He tries to whistle, but it doesn’t come off right and he really shouldn’t try that unless he knows how. He yells over to them “Yo, Lockhart, Barnett, come on, fall in”. Since when is Chi-Chi a drill sergeant in the army? He tells Pratt to come over too. Abby, wearing scrubs again for some strange reason and carrying a coffee, walks over and stands behind Chi-Chi. And her hair is looking pretty good today. Maybe since it’s not flopping in her face, she won’t be playing with it the whole show. It would be nice for me to just once not be all about the hair. Ray and Pratt are in front of him, leaning on the desk. Sally is there, too. Chi-Chi paces back and forth and starts expounding on how they are going to be bringing the ER into the 21st century by introducing new equipment and implementing new procedures on a regular basis. Abby, being the mature professional that she is, is looking at Ray and laughing and gesturing behind Chi-Chi’s back. Chi-Chi points to Sally and says that his lovely assistant will be demonstrating the Patient Communication Board, as Sally then Vanna White’s it back and forth. She tells everyone that there will be no more pens and paper and that this will make everyone’s life easier because intubated patients can just point, circle or mark any questions or requests they have. Um, Sally, don’t they need a pen to do the marking? Pratt and Ray look at it, and then hand it to Abby, who pulls out a pen and starts writing on it. Chi-Chi compliments Sally, and then says that next is the Freedom splint. Sally hands something to him, saying that federal regulations are discouraging the use of wrist restraints, which when used should be checked every ten minutes. The camera pans back to Chi-Chi who is watching Sally, as Abby holds up the board with what she’s written behind him. It says “This Is Ass”. I know it’s extremely immature, but that made me laugh. Ray sees it and starts snickering. Chi-Chi looks at him, and sees he’s looking behind him. As Chi-Chi starts to turn around, Abby drops the board down and looks at him, innocently. Hee. Chi-Chi turns around to face Ray and asks him what’s so funny. Ray replies that he just finds it hard to believe. Sally is going on that there are documented cases of patients left unattended for a couple of hours who have lost hands to ischemia, as Abby holds up the sign again behind Chi-Chi and starts waving it around. Hee. She then walks around Chi-Chi and over to Ray and hands him the chart, as Pratt and Ray are chuckling. Sally says they are therefore going to start using the Freedom splint, and holds up what looks like a rolled up blanket. Chi-Chi asks for volunteers. Pratt coughs and pushes Jerry’s chair with his foot, so that Jerry goes wheeling towards Chi-Chi. Jerry’s all “hey” because he’s been listening to his iPod and has no idea what’s been going on. Would he really be allowed to have that at work? Isn’t he working the desk and doesn’t he have to answer the phones? No wonder County sucks. Chi-Chi thanks him for volunteering. Sally is explaining that the Freedom splint is less restrictive and should be used before any hard or soft restraints, as the Three Stooges continue with Jackass Junior High, laughing and not paying attention. I’m surprised they weren’t shooting spitballs or rubber bands. I would hope that their inattention to new procedures would come back to collectively bite them in the ass, but since Abby is part of this threesome, I’m sure that won’t happen. Sally and Chi-Chi are putting on Jerry what basically look like giant versions of the water-wings that my two year old wore in the pool at the Y this summer. Sally continues that the splint is very helpful with keeping combative patients from pulling out tubes, or picking at wound sites, or disrupting life-saving medical equipment. No one is paying any attention to her because just then Neela walks up to the desk looking totally hot, wearing a low cut, form fitting little black dress. All of the guys turn to ogle her. Chi-Chi starts going “oh yay” and telling her she is “que sexy”, which I am so sure is not any sort of sexual harassment or anything. Neela shoots him a look and says thank you, “I think”. Frank asks her what the occasion is. He wants to know if Playboy is doing a “Girls of the ER” edition. Oh, Frank, you’re five episodes too late for Neela’s risqué photo shoot. Neela replies “bugger off, Frank”. Hee. I love Neela, though considering Chi-Chi’s earlier finger escapades, she probably should have said it to him. She walks over to Abby, who tells her that she does look very nice. Neela tells her that Gallant is coming home today. Pratt says “well, hello, soldier” in a total come hither voice that was actually kind of funny. And I can’t believe Neela would be wearing that ensemble on her shift. She will almost certainly be doused with some bodily fluid or another before this episode ends.

Sam bursts out of the Exam Room yelling for Chi-Chi, calling him “Vic”, and saying that Marsellus just put his head through the supply cabinet. Chi-Chi tells her to give him five of haldol. Then says to make it ten. Sam can’t believe it and tells him that Marsellus is like a “rogue elephant” and wants to know if she’s supposed to shoot it from a tranquilizer gun. Chi-Chi, getting a little too excited, asks if she has one of those. I’m sure she doesn’t, but knowing her son Alex, I’ll bet she wishes she did have one. Sam shoots him a look, and then rushes back into the Exam Room as the guard is being overpowered by Marsellus. Chi-Chi is hanging outside the door, because obviously Chi-Chi is chickenshit and thinks it’s okay to let a five-foot-nothing woman go back in by herself to help subdue an out of control patient. He yells for Ray, calling him X-Ray and says they’ll tag team Marsellus; Ray will distract him and Chi-Chi will shoot him. Ray wants to know how he’s supposed to distract him, and Chi-Chi tells him to pretend to be a rodeo clown. Hee. He tells Ray to go first, as Sam bursts out of the door and starts to run down the hall. No explanation as to why. As she runs, she almost collides with Luka, who just sort of looks after her, not too interested. This was a little weird. She was running like a bat out of hell and I know their relationship is over, but you would think he would be a little concerned as to what happened to her.

Luka walks up to the desk and says that multiple GSW’s are coming in and tells Abby that she’s with him and tosses her a pair of gloves as he orders Neela to call the OR and make sure a suite is open. Abby and Pratt do a really strange thing here; she walks by him at the desk, he lifts his arms up straight in the air as she passes him, she pats him under the arm and drags her hand along his back as she walks by. It’s weird because it wasn’t like she had to squeeze to get past him or turn sideways or anything. Whatever. Luka tells Pratt to prepare Traumas One and Two, and he hurries off. Sally says that she’ll clear out the rooms and yells to Frank to call the blood bank because they’ll need O neg. Everyone rushes from the desk, leaving Jerry and his water-wings standing there.

Abby meets Luka in the ambulance bay and asks if this is a gang shooting. He tells her that a father used his daughter as a human shield. She responds, “ah, lovely” and Luka agrees. She tells him that he missed show-and-tell. Shut up, Abby! You and your band of merry men basically did too, since none of you could be bothered to pay any attention. Luka’s all “huh?” and she explains that Chi-Chi is implementing changes and new equipment, to which Luka rolls his eyes. She asks Luka if they are going to make Chi-Chi head of the ER. Luka turns to look at her, and she shrugs and says that’s what everyone’s saying. With his hands on his hips, he scowls and scoffs, “Look, the guy who got you and Neela suspended for working on a monkey?” Abby corrects him that it was a chimp as they head towards the ambulance coming in. Luka thinks if Chi-Chi wants the chief position he can have it and maybe he can open a petting zoo in the doctor’s lounge. Hee. I so love it when you are snarky, Luka. Pickman the paramedic is bringing in the little girl. She says 10 year old, single GSW to the right chest, but the Closed Captioning says “eight year old”. Weird. Pickman says the BP is 85/60, the pulse is 120 and the pulse ox is 96 on two liters. Abby asks the girl what her name is. She says that Vincent calls her “Mezoti”. To prove that I can indeed pass a geek test, the name “Mezoti” is from Star Trek:Voyager. She was a little girl that was abducted and assimilated by the Borg, but had been inadvertently abandoned by the Collective when the other drones on her ship were destroyed, and ended up living on Voyager and eventually regaining some of her individuality. Luka asks who Vincent is and a sad looking cop walks up and says that Vincent is the guy she was with and that she’s a kidnapping victim. Then Sad Cop weirdly says, even though he knows it’s not true, that “her father” started shooting and they returned fire. Abby angrily asks if they shot her, and Sad Cop assures her no, he had a clean shot and that Pony’s gun must have discharged when he went down. Mezoti wants to know if Pony is dead. Pickman says that 73 is bringing him in and that he had gotten popped a bunch of times, at least once in the head. Sad Cop pleads that Pony shot one of their guys. Luka asks Abby if she has this, and she says yes. He goes off to wait for the next one.

Abby tells Mezoti they are going to get her fixed up. As they push the gurney past Admit, Mezoti says that it really hurts. Abby says she knows and that they are going to make it stop hurting really soon. Chuny walks over and Mezoti says that she lost Coogy. Chuny asks who Coogy is and Mezoti says its her stuffed puppy. Abby tells her that maybe the police found him and she’s sure he’s okay. Sam walks up and tells Abby that Trauma One is open and that the blood is on its way and asks if she needs a hand. Abby says she thinks they’ve got it and thanks Sam, kind of condescendingly. Does Abby have a problem with Sam? Weird.

Sam walks over to the Curtain Area to a sickly looking teenager who looks like Emo Philips and who has ink all over his face. Sam smilingly compliments his Adolph Hitler looking drawn on mustache. She asks if his buddies did that. Emo says he wouldn’t call them his buddies, but they live in the same dorm. She asks if he’s a freshman and he’s says he is and wants to know how she guessed. She chuckles and says she thought campus life was supposed to be fun. Emo says it is if you like being tortured. Sam asks if he’s been vomiting, and I hope to God he says no because my stomach is a little queasy from the greasy pizza I had for dinner and I don’t think I could take seeing it. Emo says he puked all night. Thanks, Emo. As she takes his temperature with an ear thermometer, Sam asks if it was a keg party and he nods. She says “passed out, wake up with a bad hangover and a magic marker facial”. My five year old twins gave each other Magic Marker facials once. Not a pretty sight. He says something like that. She tells him that he doesn’t have a fever so it’s probably not viral, but his BP is a little low, which means he’s dehydrated. He thanks her and asks what to do if he has to puke again. She hands him an emesis basin, and he asks if she has something bigger. Yuck, and please don’t show it.

Sam walks up to Admit and Frank says “well, if it isn’t the Hatchet Lady. Which beloved employee are you axing today?” Sam tells Frank to “stick a sock in it” before I can tell him to shut up. He tells her that he is sending Haleh her last check and wants to know if Sam wants to include a note. Sam resignedly, like she’s said it a million times, tells him that firing Haleh was Sally’s idea and she was just following orders. Frank replies “that’s what Himmler said”. Shut up, Frank! Can’t they hire back E-Ray, or Amira or Randi and get rid of this asshole? He then tells her that she got a letter from her “jailbird boyfriend”. He is really insufferable tonight. Then Frank says “he’s probably marrying his cellmate”, which I really didn’t want to laugh at, but I did. Sam shoots him a look and then glances at the envelope.

Luka runs to the ambulance as they are unloading Wounded Cop, whose name is Jimmy Howe and he’s 25. Paramedics say he has a grazing GSW with a lot of blood loss. Pratt comes running up paraphrasing Underdog and saying “Have no fear, Dr. Pratt is here”. Luka questions that this isn’t the shooter, and the paramedic says no, it’s the cop he shot. Uh, Luka, did you not notice the uniform? And didn’t Sad Cop tell you the shooter’s name is Vincent? I love you dearly, but you really do need to pay just a bit more attention. This is almost as bad as the time that Abby got beat up by her neighbor Brian in her apartment and you asked her “so he knows where you live?” Cute, but clueless. Wounded Cop is saying that this was his first week riding solo and he just got out of the Academy. Oh, that sucks. Guess you’re going to be rethinking your career choice, huh? Pratt says it looks like the bullet snuck up under the vest. Luka is shaking his head and says that he thought the shooter had more critical injuries. Uh oh, I think I smell Luka’s High Horse of Moral Superiority coming. Paramedic tells him they just do what they’re told. Like Sam. And Himmler. Paramedic gives the sat and Luka says the bullet must have bagged the brachial artery. Wounded Cop can’t feel his hand, and Luka says “median nerve, too”. Wounded Cop wants to know if he’s going to lose his arm. Pratt assures him that the bleeding will stop and they can repair the artery. Luka asks Pratt if he’s got this, and he does. Luka says good, and that he’s going to go check on Abby and walks away. Pratt passes Volunteen in the hall and asks where he’s been. Volunteen pulls his iPod headphones from his ears, because everyone has one nowadays and the workplace is the proper place for them, and says that he’s been “doing stuff”, which is so not an answer that has ever worked for me. Pratt tells him he’s going to “do some stuff on your head” and orders him to run to the blood bank and get some O neg. Volunteen takes off quickly and almost runs into Sally, who passes, shaking her head and claiming that she’s never seen him move so fast.

They roll Wounded Cop into Trauma Green and Pratt tells him the bullet may have bruised the nerve. Ray asks what they got and Pratt responds that it’s a penetrating axillary trauma with neurovascular deficit, as I once again thank the Closed Captioning people. Ray wants to know if Pratt wants to clamp the bleeder, and Pratt says only if they can visualize it. Wounded Cop tells Ray he’s getting dizzy and begs him not to let him die. Calm down, Wounded Cop. At least you didn’t get shot in the head, like Pony. And you’re in Trauma Green. Don’t the patients in Trauma Green usually pull through? Now if you were in Trauma Yellow and Abby were your doctor, then I’d be with you on the worrying. Sally asks Wounded Cop if he’s with the 23rd. He looks at her and then says he is. They transfer him to the table and Sally tells him that her father and brother are with the 17 and the 109. Wounded Cop looks at her smiling and says “really?” She says “uh huh” and asks if he knows Joe Buchitelli. He gets excited and says “yeah, he helped me through the Academy” and asks Sally if he’s her brother. Incredibly, because she previously has been shown to be the bastion of professionalism but the junior high hijinks must have rubbed off on her today, she responds “No, he gave me my first orgasm”, as Pratt, Paramedic and Ray just stare at her. For the love of God, first Neela and Abby and the fishnet photo shoot, then Dubenko’s indecent proposal and the “satisfaction facilitator”, then Ray’s Lolita story, Chi-Chi’s shit-smeared digit and now Sally’s orgasms? Please fire the 14 year old scriptwriter and stop this nonsense. Sally looks up to see them all staring and says “hey, it was a milestone”. I’m sure it was Sally, but I still don’t think it’s appropriate workplace conversation, but maybe that’s just me and I’m a little more politically correct than the writers.

Abby is listening to Mezoti’s chest as a voice asks what the pulse ox is. Luka says it’s holding at 92. The voice asks what the status is on the other patients as the camera pans over and shows that BubbleBenko is back and his fabulous hair has been shorn! I’m shocked. Was it because of the chemo? No explanation on the show, of course, though I know that Leland Orser had it cut for the movie he’s doing. Shame. Guess they won’t be calling him Dr. Hair anymore. Luka tells him that they have a grazing GSW to the upper arm and another victim in route. BubbleBenko replies “okay, I’m on my way down” and the robotic contraption wheels away. So now he uses it to replace actually going into the ER? I know Benton, Corday, and Romano used to bitch about having to come down there, but come on, this is just lazy. I still think a surgical consult should involve actually touching the patient, but hey, what do I know? We outsource reading X-rays to India, so maybe we should just outsource surgical consults across the world too. Sad Cop walks in and shoots a glance at BubbleBenko, which is kind of funny, then tells Abby that the station confirmed Mezoti’s ID and that her name is Sydney Carlyle and she was abducted in a campsite from upstate New York in August. Abby, checking Mezoti’s belly, asks her if her real name is Sydney. Mezoti looks frightened to answer. Abby says that it’s okay and she can tell her. Chuny is on the other side of the table, with her hand on Mezoti’s shoulder. She glances at Abby, and then back at Mezoti, concerned. Mezoti hestitates and then says “yes”. Abby smiles at her and says “yeah”. Sad Cop says to Abby quietly that she’s going to have to do a rape exam. Luka is looking at paperwork in the background and glances up when he hears this. Chuny looks at Abby and tells her she’ll open a kit. Abby tells Sydney that they are going to check between her legs and says “okay?” Sydney asks if Pony is dead. Sad Cop chimes in “Vincent Jansen … the creep who took her”. I think I could come up with some stronger words than that, Sad Cop. Abby tells Sydney she doesn’t know. Sydney says “they shot him”. Luka asks how big the pneumothorax is as Chuny, lifting up Sydney’s gown, says “Abby?” Abby comes over to examine. She looks horrified as Luka looks, and grits his teeth. The looks on their faces are so terrible that I can almost imagine what is it that they are seeing. Very well done. Abby glances at Luka and then back as he blows out a breath and says “multiple abrasions adjacent to the external genitalia” as the camera closes in on Abby’s face. She looks visibly shaken. Luka continues quietly “four lacerations to the labia in various stages of healing” as Abby looks up at Sydney, sadly. Cut to Sydney, who is looking away and breathing heavily. Then cut back to Abby, still watching her. Abby looks down, then back at Luka, then walks away. Luka is chewing on his lips as he stares at Sydney’s injuries. Abby comes back over next to Sydney and asks if Pony hurt her. Sydney stares at her, but doesn’t answer. Abby goes on “did he touch you in your private parts?” Sydney says “only when we played the married game” and that Pony loves her. Abby doesn’t know what to say. Chuny says sysolics down to 70. Jerry comes in to tell Luka that the shooter’s there. Luka puts down the chart, sighs, and starts to leave as Abby smiles at Sydney. Sydney tries to smile back, but doesn’t quite make it. As Luka is going out the door he calls back to Abby “Thinking about a chest tube?” which normally I would comment that coming from Luka, that sounds kind of kinky, but because this is such a disturbing scene, I’ll have to refrain. Abby is distracted and doesn’t answer him. He stops and says “Abby?” She looks up at him and says “Yeah? What?” He raises his eyebrows and says “Chest tube?” and she nods and says “yeah” and tells him that they are processing the film. He tells her not to wait and to do it now and she says “right”, and calls for betadine and steridrapes, but you can tell she’s still troubled.

Uncle Jesse and his partner are bringing in Pony, and Partner says “Vincent Jansen, 34, multiple GSW’s to the chest and abdomen. 34??? You have got to be kidding me. Pony looks at least 44. They really should have corrected that. Uncle Jesse contributes, pulling off one of Pony’s bandages “… and one to the melon”. Not the time to be making quips, Uncle Jesse. Luka can’t believe they didn’t intubate him, as his High Horse starts trotting alongside him. Partner continues giving the sat as Luka bitches that Pony needs two IV’s. Neela tells them that they are full up and to go to Exam 2. Uncle Jesse asks her how Sydney is and Neela thinks she’s stable. Uncle Jesse introduces himself as “Tony Gates” and Neela responds “Dr. Rasgotra”. Partner says the BP is 100 palp after a liter. Luka’s High Horse counters that they should have needled the chest, and Partner replies that they “scooped and ran”. Luka bitches that he’s bleeding out and Partner gives it back to him saying that Pony shot through their window and almost blew Uncle Jesse’s head off. Uncle Jesse says that it’s true and he saw his life flash before his eyes, and looking at Neela, tells her he thinks they were on a beach. Uncle Jesse is trying to be all cute and funny, but it’s really not the time for this. Neela agrees with me and yells at him to stop it and asks if they can focus here. She tells Luka she lost the radial pulse. She calls out that he needs two chest tubes, a central line, and four units of O neg. Chi-Chi comes in and says “Yowza, look at the head shot” and that Pony’s going to need a couple of chest tubes and a central … as Luka cuts him off, pointing at Marsellus in a wheelchair and says “Isn’t that your patient?” Chi-Chi dismisses that he could take care of him with his eyes closed. Since Chi-Chi is being so flippant, I’m guessing something is going to happen to Marsellus. Luka tells Chi-Chi that it’s probably best if he didn’t as a nurse closes the exam room doors on Chi-Chi. Luka says he’ll call him if they need help. Chi-Chi scoffs quietly, “yeah, you’ll call me. His head could roll off, you wouldn’t call me” and stares back in at Luka through the doors.

Sally is lifting Wounded Cop’s head and calling out that the BP is 110/70. Wounded Cop groans and asks if that’s good. Sally says it couldn’t be better as she holds him up and removes his bulletproof vest. They open his shirt and see a couple of contusions where bullets had hit the vest. Pratt says “damn!” and I couldn’t agree more. Pratt tells Wounded Cop they have to lift up his arm to take a look. As he lifts the arm, he and Ray get sprayed with blood. Nice. Ray says he’s got it as Wounded Cop thinks he’s bleeding out. Ray assures him he’s not. As Ray and Pratt work on the arm, Sally tells Wounded Cop to look at her. She asks if Marty Stats is still the desk sergeant at the 23. Please don’t let this be a precursor to more of Sally’s sexual adventures, because I’ve already heard more than I would ever need to know. But she is being very kind here, trying to distract him. Wounded Cop says “yeah” and Sally laughs that he used to baby-sit her, and God, I hope that’s all he did. She asks Wounded Cop if he knew Marty has a metal plate in his head. Wounded Cop is all “what? I’m bleeding here”. Pratt says he needs a procedural tray, and Sally responds “right away” and moves off to get it. Wounded Cop wants to know what’s happening. Ray calls for sterile gloves. Haven’t you been wearing them already in this trauma, Ray? Annoying. Pratt tells Wounded Cop that they need to clamp the artery he severed. I don’t think he actually severed his own artery, Pratt. Shouldn’t you be blaming Pony and oh, say, the bullet? Sam comes in asking if she can steal the hemocue. Sally tells her to help herself. Sally is looking at Wounded Cop distractedly. Sam asks if she wants her to take over. Sally nods, “sure” and staring at Wounded Cop says that would be good and that she has to check on the others. Sally tells Wounded Cop to hang in there and that she’ll be right back. Sam stays, so I’m guessing whoever needed the hemocue is shit out of luck.

Abby is suturing in Sydney’s chest tube. Sydney asks if they found Coogy. Sad Cop is on the phone and asks who that is. Abby tells him it’s Sydney’s stuffed animal. Sydney says he’s a puppy. Sad Cop starts talking to someone on the phone. Abby looks over, then back at Sydney, shrugs, and smiles saying “I don’t know”. Sad Cop tells someone on the phone to hang on, and tells Abby that he has Sydney’s mom. Abby asks Chuny to put a dressing on the incision, and walks over to the phone, pulling off her gloves. She takes the phone and introduces herself to Sydney’s mom and tells her that she’s treating her daughter. She tells the mom that Sydney was shot in the chest, and they are doing all they can for her. Looking back at Sydney, she tells the mom that she’s doing well and smiling at Sydney, says that she’s a very brave little girl. She says “sure, just a minute” into the phone, then brings the phone over to Sydney and tells her it’s her mom as she holds the phone up to Sydney’s ear. Sydney says “Mom?”, and then breaks down crying, saying “I miss you, too”. This young actress is really good and I’m getting choked up listening to this conversation. So is Abby. Sydney cries “I love you, too”. Abby tells her okay, and takes the phone as Sydney keeps crying. Abby tells the mom that she’s going to give her back to the police and that they’ll see her in a couple of hours. She hands the phone back to Sad Cop, who’s name apparently is Officer Yau. Abby starts stroking Sydney’s hair and smiling at her, tells her it’s okay and that she’s safe now. Dubenko walks in, pulling on gloves. Glad you deigned to provide us with your presence, oh Great and Powerful Oz. Jerk. Abby is telling Sydney that her parents are coming to get her and that nobody can hurt her here. Abby is being very sweet to her. Sydney asks about Pony. Abby tells her she doesn’t have to worry about him anymore. Dubenko asks how the chest tube output is. Abby says it’s less than 500 cc’s, small hemothorax. Dubenko thinks that’s good and that they should be able to manage it conservatively. Chi-Chi walks in and says to Dubenko, “Hey, nice lid. You get a free bowl of soup with that?” I’ve heard that joke a million times, but Chi-Chi’s delivery gave me a chuckle. And Dubenko’s hair makes him look like he did in Alien:Resurrection, which is not necessarily a good thing. Dubenko gives Chi-Chi a look as Chuny tells Abby that the pressure’s down, 80/60. Abby, still stroking Sydney’s hair, tells Chuny to call for type specific and run in 500 of saline. Chi-Chi says “no, let’s not do that”, as Abby looks at him, a little surprised. Chi-Chi introduces himself to Sydney. He tells her he’s going to put a little glop on her belly, which considering what she’s been through I think that may not the best word to use, and shows her the ultrasound and how he’s going to use this camera to take a look inside. He asks if she’s the little princess that he heard was coming this morning. He’s trying to be friendly and put her at ease, but it’s not ringing true and Abby’s kind of looking at him funny. Sydney sadly says she’s not a princess. Abby tells Chi-Chi that Sydney is hypotensive. He thinks that can be a good thing. Abby doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He wants to leave the systolic at 80. He asks Dubenko if that’s right, and Dubenko agrees. Abby doesn’t look convinced. Dubenko replies “permissive hypotension. Landmark papers by Bickell and Mattox. When you have a vascular injury, you need a low pressure to stabilize the clots”. Chi-Chi continues that you blast away the blood and fluids, then you raise the pressure and blow out the clot. Looking at the ultrasound, Chi-Chi comments that there’s lots of sub-q air in the chest wall, but the belly’s dry. Abby says that they never allow the pressure to drift that low so she’s going to check with Luka. Chi-Chi stops her and says that the Chief of Surgery agrees with their plan. Abby looks at Dubenko, who just raises his eyebrows at her and looks back down at the chart. Chi-Chi tells Sydney they are going to make her brand new, “alright sweetie pie?”

Ponyboy is unconscious, lying on the table, a halo of blood around his head. Luka is putting in a chest tube. Neela says it sounds like a tension pneumo here. Luka asks Malik for O-silk and Xeroform. Neela comments there are five centimeters in the thoraseal. Malik says the pressure’s up, 120/70. Luka thinks that’s excellent and Pony just needs a little blood to his brain. He compliments Neela saying “nice work” and smiles at her. She smiles back. Oh no, does Neela still have her crush on him? Get in line, bitch. I like Neela and don’t want to have to hurt her. Luka says that he heard Gallant is home on leave and that he didn’t get a chance to see him last time. Neela replies that he gets home today and that hopefully he’ll be here longer this time. She’s kind of glowing, and it’s cute. Luka says to tell him to stop by and he’ll buy Gallant a beer, and I would so like to be sitting on a stool next to that twosome. Yum. Pony opens his eyes and Malik says that the guy just looked at him. Luka and Neela glance, but Pony’s eyes must be closed again because they go back to what they were doing and Neela says he’s got spontaneous eye opening. Pony then sits up and shoves Malik, who falls backwards. Luka grabs Pony and pushes him back down on the table. Pony is yelling “Son of a bitch” as Luka and Neela try to subdue him. He’s handcuffed to the siderails but is still thrashing around. Luka shouts for him to stop because he has tubes in his chest. He orders Neela to push four of versed. Pony gets a death grip on one of Neela’s wrists and he’s hurting her. Luka pries his fingers loose as the cop who was nearby pulls out his gun and points it at Pony. Luka pleads with him not to shoot. Neela injects Pony, who calms down. Neela sighs, relieved.

After commercial, Neela is holding an ice pack to her wrist, which is bruised and bleeding. Luka asks her if she’s okay and she says she is. She guesses Pony’s head injury isn’t as bad as it looks. Luka walks back over to Pony saying that it’s a clean frontal lobe injury and that no vital functions are affected, but that he will have ongoing impulse control problems. Oh, just like Sam. And considering he kidnapped Sydney from a campsite, I think Pony’s impulse control problems were pre-existing, Luka. Luka is dressing Pony’s head wound. Pony is agitated and is asking for Sydney. I thought you called her Mezoti, Pony? Can we please keep the continuity within the same episode? Jeez. Neela, steely, tells him she’s safe from him. Pony whines that he never hurt her and that he took care of her. I think we have evidence to the contrary, Pony. Luka angrily says that Pony raped her. Pony cries that they don’t understand and that he needs to see her. Luka looks away from him in disgust. Pony keeps trying to get up and pleads that he didn’t do anything wrong. Neela tells him to shut up before I can. She listens to his chest and tells Luka that it sounds like the lungs are back up. Pony complains that they think they know him, but they don’t. Well, I thought I knew you, Pony. What happened to that sweet teenager who quoted poetry and ran into the burning building to rescue those kids? I think your brothers Darryl and Sodapop (yeah, that was the name), should have kicked your ass a bit more. Your dead best friend Johnny would be so disappointed in the way you turned out. Pony says Sydney loves him. Dubenko is doing an ultrasound on the abdomen and Luka tells him there is not much blood from the chest. Dubenko says it’s all in the belly. Pony is crying that Sydney needed him and that she wanted him and I am so surprised that Luka doesn’t want to deck him. Luka says it looks like hemoperiteneum, which is blood in the abdominal cavity. Isn’t that what Dubenko just said, Luka? Density does not become you, though everything else does. Dubenko says “yeah, and a grade 4 hepatic injury”, which I think means liver trauma. Neela questions “Grade 4” and Malik says “aka Chopped Liver”. Hee. Thanks, Malik. Pony starts bitching that he knows what they all think and that they want him to die. Neela tells him she wants him to shut up. Again, thanks, Neela. Malik says the hemocue is eight and Luka tells him to transfuse another two units. Neela wants to know how soon he can go up to the OR and Dubenko quickly says “no vacancy”, and that he can turn over a room in twenty minutes. Didn’t Neela call up and book an OR when Luka told her that the GSW’s were coming in? Is Dubenko lying? Luka tells him he has ten and wants the blood bank to stay ahead four units. Pony thinks that maybe they should just let him die. Most sensible thing you’ve said tonight, Pony. Luka looks at him, then away.

Pratt is working on Wounded Cop’s arm as Volunteen walks in with a cooler, telling him that he’s got the blood. Sam thanks him. Pratt tells him to give it to Sam and then get his butt over there. Sam asks Ray if he wants more 4x4’s, and I think now is not the time to be talking about Sport Utility Vehicle’s, Sam. But apparently she is talking about some gauze thingies, which I guess is okay. Ray asks Pratt if he can visualize the brachial. Pratt says he’s working on it. Sam goes over and takes the cooler from Volunteen. Pratt tells him that Sally was complaining about him today. Volunteen is confused because he doesn’t know who that is. Sam helpfully chimes in that she’s the nurse manager, tall blonde. Volunteen says “oh yeah, that amazon?” which is inappropriate, but accurate. He continues that Sally doesn’t like him as Pratt bitches at him to show some respect. Thanks, Pratt. I appreciate that you did that even if Volunteen doesn’t. Pratt goes on that it’s Sally’s turf and Volunteen is damn lucky to be there. Pratt asks him whether he wants to do the rest of his community service in some smelly-ass soup kitchen. I’ve got to correct you there Pratt, because I’ve been in some soup kitchens and they actually smelled pretty good. Volunteen says no and Pratt tells him that he better get his act together then. Ray says “there it is” and Pratt tells him to ease up on the gauze. As he does, blood starts shooting out again. Lovely. As they all get sprayed, Sam bitches “Ray!” and Ray apologizes. Pratt says proximal pressure. He starts telling Volunteen that if he hears one more complaint about him … as Volunteen faints to the floor. As they hear the thud, everyone, including Wounded Cop look over to where Volunteen had been standing. Sam snarks “that’s one hell of a pep talk”. Hee. I’m liking Sam so much better this season. Replacing the bitchiness with snarkiness has been a welcome change. Pratt calls for a gurney.

Luka comes into Trauma Yellow and asks Abby how much saline Sydney has had. Abby replies very little, it’s TKO. Chuny tells him the BP is 80 palp. Luka asks Abby why she isn’t giving Sydney fluids. Chi-Chi interjects that it’s permissive hypotension and they don’t want to disrupt the hemostasis. Luka wants to know when she’s going to the OR and Abby says they are waiting to hear from them. Luka is not pleased and says to Chi-Chi that you can’t do permissive hypotension without a definitive plan. He tells Abby to give her a liter wide open. Chuny hands it to Abby, as Chi-Chi grabs it out of her hand and gives it back. He says that he’s had experience with this, and it works. Luka says that he doesn’t want their residents put in the position of using unproven therapies on critical patients. Abby looks at Chi-Chi. Neela bursts in and tells Luka that they need him. Luka tells Abby to get her pressure up to 100 systolic. Jerry comes in asking for Chi-Chi who tells him to hold on a minute. Jerry says that CT is calling about Marsellus. Chi-Chi wants to know what the big guy did now. Jerry says that he stopped breathing. Chi-Chi wants to know why the hell he would do that. Probably because you were a little too smug about the way you were handling his case earlier, Chi-Chi. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. As he walks out, he tells Abby not to give Sydney a fluid bolus unless the MAP drops below 70. Abby rolls her eyes, looks at Chuny, and shakes her head, obviously conflicted because of the contradictory orders.

Malik tells Luka that Pony’s BP is down to 60 palp. Luka asks where they are on the packed cells. Neela says unit three and four. Dubenko says to hang another two. Luka calls Pony’s name. Pony’s eyes are wide open, unfocused and unblinking. Luka asks if he can hear him and starts rubbing his breastbone. Neela calls for sux and etomidate, 8-0 tube. Luka asks Dubenko how fast they can get him upstairs. Dubenko says they won’t have an OR for at least ten minutes and Neela suggests they move him to pre-op. Dubenko claims he’ll bleed out in the elevator. He seems to be stalling, probably hoping Pony won’t make it the ten minutes. Luka’s High Horse clarifies that their job is to save lives, not judge them. I happen to agree with him about that, you know, Hippocratic Oath and all that, but all Luka has done this episode is judge everyone else because they obviously have a problem treating this patient whose actions are abhorrent. Luka’s High Horse thinks death is the easy way out and that he deserves to rot in jail. Neela has intubated Pony and tells Malik to bag him. Dubenko puts down the chart, picks up what I think is betadine, and sprays it on Pony’s belly. Luka wants to know what he’s doing. Dubenko replies “exploratory laparotomy”. Neela can’t believe he’s wants to do it there, now. Luka stares at him. Dubenko calls for sterile drapes, a cut-down tray, masks and gowns. He tells Neela to scrub in. Dubenko asks Luka if he wants to save this guy, then this is the only way he knows how.

Sydney is staring ahead and then her eyes start to close. Abby calls her name, rubbing her breastbone and trying to get her to open her eyes. She starts yelling for Luka. She’s imploring Sydney to stay awake, and doesn’t she want to say “hi” to her mom and dad? Abby’s getting desperate and shouts for somebody to get Kovac in there now as she starts chest compressions. Chuny says the BP’s not registering as Abby says she can’t get a pulse. Luka comes running in and asks Abby what she needs. She says “help”. Again, Luka with the not catching on – don’t you see Abby doing CPR? This is really hard to say, and I hope to never have to do so again, but Luka is irritating me. Abby tells him Sydney is going down. He scowls at her and throws his gloves down on the floor. He orders Chuny to squeeze in the saline and to give him two units of packed cells. He snottily says to Abby “You did type and cross her, didn’t you?” Wow, that was harsh. I don’t blame Abby when she glares at him and pissily replies “of course I did”. He asks where Sydney is bleeding, but Abby doesn’t know. She says the chest tube slowed down at 300 cc’s and the belly was clean. Luka berates her that she needs to stay ahead of a patient like this. She angrily responds that her Attending felt otherwise and Luka bitches that he’s the Attending now and tells Chuny to prep the chest. He says that if Sydney doesn’t come back with the saline bolus, they’re going to crack her. Abby despondently tells him that she was just talking to her. Luka tells her to go ahead and intubate Sydney. Abby calls for 6-0, ET and suction as she stops CPR and starts to tube Sydney.

Ray says “well, here goes nothing” and pulls at something, then “looking good, dry as a bone”. Pratt wants more 4x4’s. Wounded Cop asks if they saved his arm. Pratt tells him yeah and asks Ray if he has it from here. Pratt walks into Sutures where Sally is with Volunteen. He asks what the damage is and Sally tells him it’s a 1 ½ centimeter scalp lac. Volunteen wants to know if he’ll have a scar. Pratt replies nothing that anybody would be able to see. Volunteen asks “what if I shave my head?” and Pratt answers that it wouldn’t be a good idea, not with that helmet. Hee. Sally thinks two to three staples ought to do it. Pratt says he has it, and Sally pats his shoulder as she walks out. Volunteen says he never fainted before. Pratt thinks it’s probably the best thing he could have done today. Volunteen doesn’t know what he means. Pratt says that Sally was going to give him the boot, but now she’ll probably let him stay, just out of pity. Pratt injects something into Volunteen’s scalp, who cries “owww!” and Pratt says “oh yeah, that’s gonna burn a little”. Hee.

Sally is updating a bunch of cops on Wounded Cop’s condition. She tells them he’s going to be just fine, then hugs one and says it’s good to see him. Walking away, she says she’ll come find them when she has more details. Sam joins her walking and says she has “a thing for the boys in blue, huh?” Sally chuckles and says no, she knows half of them. She explains that her dad is a retired cop, her brother’s a cop, and her fiancé was a cop. Sam’s surprised that Sally’s engaged. Sally corrects her that she was, a few years ago, but he was killed on the job. Sam says she’s sorry. Sally smiles and quietly thanks her, then continues that she still has a thing for that uniform. Sam wants to know if she can ask her a question. Sally says sure and Sam asks under what circumstances would a prisoner be transferred from one state to another. Sally asks if it’s her ex. Since when have Sam and Sally become so chummy that Sally would know about Steve? Another off camera, non-explanation thing. Sam explains that he wrote her a letter saying he was being moved from Canon City, Colorado to Cook County. Sally thinks there could be a lot of reasons, and she can check it out if Sam wants. I’ll answer for Sam and say yes, please, Sally, because I am curious, too. But only if it’s Cole Hauser and not Sleazy Steve from last season. Inez comes up to Sam and pointing to a guy at Admit, says that he is looking for Neela. Sam says that she’s with a patient. Inez replies that she told him that. They walk over to Admit.

Liv is there with a guy who looks like a taller version of Teller from Penn & Teller. She’s calling him “dad” so I guess it’s safe to assume that’s who he is, unless we have another Ponyboy situation, which would just be way over the top. Though this IS the show that stuck it to Romano with a helicopter, twice, so you really can’t put anything past them. Teller shows Liv’s bottle of pills to Sam and says that he wants to talk to that doctor right now. Sam tells him he’ll have to wait unless she can help him. Teller wants to know why the prescription was written for his daughter. Sam snarks “doesn’t your daughter know?”, but Teller says she won’t tell him. Liv says that he’s making a scene, and he shushes her like Dr. Evil did to Scott in Austin Powers. Sam explains that if his daughter won’t tell him, there’s nothing that they can do about it. Teller’s getting pissed and says “Excuse me, yes there is”. He wants her to get the damn doctor who wrote the prescription right now before he hits the whole place with a malpractice suit. Dude, you don’t know who you’re yelling at. Sam could care less if you sue the hospital. He tells her he has lawyers and she says “oh yeah? Well, I’ve got Jerry”, and points to him standing a few feet behind her. Jerry looks up, confused. Sam continues that unless Teller wants to be carried out of there “like a dirty diaper” she suggests he take a seat. The way she said this is amusing, but threatening people proves that she is so not the management material that Sally thinks she is. Although, she did sound a lot like my manager when she said that, so maybe she is. Teller looks back and forth between Jerry and Sam, huffs, and then tells Liv to “come on”. He walks away shaking his head. Jerry asks Sam if she knows that he abhors violence. Sam says she knows that, but Teller didn’t and for him to put on his best tough guy face as we see Teller still looking at them. Jerry scrunches up his face, which makes him look like he’s more blocked up than built up. Hee.

Dubenko cuts open Ponyboy. Neela asks what kind of retractor he needs. He replies “the human kind” grabbing her hands and sticking them in the incision. Nice. And the squishing sound as she pries it apart, yuck. He reaches in and asks Neela what something is, and she says the linea alba. Is that any relation to Jessica Alba? Dubenko is yanking on stuff and jargoning, but I am a little too squicked out by them using their hands that I really can’t pay attention to what he’s saying. Jerry walks in and tells Neela that she has a phone call and that it sounds urgent. Considering she’s got her hands stuck all the way in a patient’s abdomen, I’m going to guess that she won’t be taking it. She tells Jerry to take a message, then asks Dubenko if he needs scissors. Um, how are you going to give them to him if you are playing the part of the retractor, Neela? Dumb. He says no and says to poke a finger through the peritoneum and tear it open. Is doing all this with his hands instead of surgical instruments Dubenko’s passive-aggressive way of performing a surgery on a patient he doesn’t really want to treat and hopes won’t make it? Jerry stresses to Neela that the call is from a Lieutenant Strickland calling from Camp Claiborne in Iraq. We can only see Neela’s eyes because she is wearing a surgical mask and the goggles, but it is apparent how much this news is distressing her. Dubenko tells her to stand back as tons of blood comes pouring out of Pony. This must be the bodily fluid that’s going to ruin Neela’s outfit. And ewww, that’s a lot of blood. Neela says “oh God” as she tries to back away as much as possible without letting go. She tells Jerry she can’t take the call and wants him to get a number. Dubenko asks for suction, which makes such a lovely noise that I really hope they’ll play it again. Except, not.

Abby says that Sydney is not responding to fluids and is in PEA. She’s bagging Sydney and Luka is doing compressions. Chuny tells them Brady to 60, and I wonder whether it is Greg, Marcia, Peter, Jan, Bobby or Cindy she is referring to. Luka says “10 blade to Abby, rib spreader to me”. Abby’s unsure and tells him that she’s not really used to doing this on kids. Luka tells her it’s pretty much the same, except everything’s smaller, which is really unhelpful, Luka, because I think Abby already understands that. Abby takes a deep breath and then cuts Sydney’s chest open. Luka puts in the retractor and twists it open and again we see into the cavity. I think as a director, Laura Innes is liking the gore factor just a little too much this week. Abby says the pleura is dry and Luka wants her to check the pericardium. Why is Luka wearing goggles but Abby isn’t? Weird. Abby, upset, says “Oh my God, it’s full of blood. Really full.” And she probably should have pulled her hair back before starting this trauma because it looks like it’s threatening to go into the incision. But then we’d be subjected to her playing with it, so I guess since I already complained about not wanting to do hair this week, this is what I’m stuck with. Luka says “Damn it. She’s in tamponade”, which I’m kind of glad means compression of the heart caused by blood or fluid accumulation in the pericardium and doesn’t have anything to do with Tampax. Oh, but this is a shame because Sydney’s in really bad shape and I’m not having a good feeling about this. Neither is Chuny, who looks a bit worried. Abby says there’s too much pressure on the heart. Luka gravely says that she collapsed her ventricles. Abby calls for pick up and metz. She’s shaking her head. Luka’s High Horse asks under his breath where Chi-Chi is, and shakes his head too. Abby, not looking at him, makes a face that says “that’s not helping”.

Dubenko and Neela are still squishing around Ponyboy’s stomach. They start packing in some gauze. Dubenko says the liver is packed off. Neela says there are eight units in and the pressures up to 90 systolic, which Dubenko thinks will do. Malik comes in wearing a really funky Hawaiian shirt looking scrub top that I’m liking and wish they would all wear and tells them that the OR is ready. Dubenko tells Neela that it helps to compress the liver up against the diaphragm. Neela compliments him that it was brilliant. Dubenko thinks in another five minutes they would have been taking him to the morgue and says “let’s go”. As they are wheeling Pony away, Dubenko apologizes about the floor, as we see that it looks almost as if it has been painted red. Thanks, Laura Innes. I so needed that image. And I guess this is the last we’ll see Pony. Stay gold, Ponyboy, stay gold.

Luka is shocking Sydney’s heart and Abby, bagging her, asks if he’s ready for another unit. Chi-Chi bursts in wondering what the hell happened. Luka’s High Horse contemptuously spits out “cardiac tamponade”. Chi-Chi thinks that’s impossible because it was a peripheral wound. Luka snidely says that Chi-Chi knows that a bullet’s trajectory can go anywhere. Not able to believe what is happening, Chi-Chi explains that she had a hemothorax and she was only bleeding in the chest. Abby looks at him. Luka bitches that Sydney was bleeding into the pericardium and the pressure kept her heart from filling. Abby is staring at Chi-Chi as he complains that’s impossible because there was no indication of tamponade. Luka, in the same snotty tone that he harshly used with Abby earlier asks “didn’t you check for effusion on the ultrasound?” Chi-Chi gets as pissed as Abby did and insists “of course, but there was sub-q air” and he couldn’t get a clear view. Abby is purposely not looking at either of them, but is unmistakably bothered by their sniping at each other. The camera stays on Abby as Luka High Horse’s that Sydney needed volume to fill her ventricle and Chi-Chi withheld fluids. Chi-Chi justifies that based on what they knew permissive hypotension was reasonable. Luka attacks “you killed her”. Abby is clearly fed up with this and asserts that Sydney’s parents are coming to take her home. Luka is done, and pulls off his gloves. Abby finally looks at him and argues that they think she was rescued and pleads “can we keep her alive until they get here?” Chi-Chi comes over and wants to cross clamp the aorta. Luka disdainfully says that Sydney’s not bleeding in her belly and that she’s gone. Chuny glances at Abby who steps back from the table, looking sad. I’m sad too because I am so not liking Luka right now, though it will be fun to ruminate on the ways he can make it up to me. Chi-Chi thinks what he is doing will help perfuse her heart and brain until they can pump more blood into her. Chi-Chi is acting a bit desperate. He calls for a vascular clamp. Chuny just looks at him and then at Abby and Chi-Chi asks for it again and she hands it to him. Abby stands behind him, looking unsettled.

Uncle Jesse is walking down the hall and spots Neela. He asks her what the word is on Sydney. Neela tells him that they are still working on her, but Pony is going to pull through. Uncle Jesse wishes it were the other way around. He wisecracks that at least child molesters don’t last long in prison. Neela gives him a “you did not just say that” look, shakes her head and walks away. He asks her if she’s a Hawks fan. Neela is wearing some seriously high stilettos which look soooo comfortable and I’m sure have not bothered her feet at all this shift. Neela says “excuse me?” and Uncle Jesse explains that he means the Chicago Blackhawks hockey team and that he has two tickets to Friday’s game. He then says “you, me, hot wings, cold beer”, because Neela seems like a hot wings and beer type of gal, doesn’t she? She says “sorry” and keeps walking. He follows asking if she’s more of a “theater gal”. He doesn’t give her a chance to answer and says that he figures as much and that he also has tickets to the opera and Philharmonic. She wants to know if he moonlights as a scalper. He says no, but his cousin does. Neela appreciates the offer but she doesn’t get much time off. Uncle Jesse says that he knows that story, so they’ll just stay home, order a deep dish and she can quiz him on renal pathophysiology. Neela wants to know what he knows about that and he says “not enough” and that’s why he needs her help and it’s one of his fourth year electives. Neela wants to know the fourth year of what? Uncle Jesse says medical school and that he just does the paramedic thing for the free coffee. Neela looks at him kind of amused, then says maybe some other time and apologizes because she has to deal with something urgent. He tells her no problem and that he’ll see her around. Uncle Jesse was trying a little too hard to be cute and flirty. Didn’t really work for me. I think his acting style may be a bit too fluffy for this kind of drama, but unlike Luka, I’ll hold off judgment until I see how he does next week. And since they’ve told us he’s a med student, I guess the door is open for him to join the cast after ABC most assuredly cancels Jake In Progress this spring. I’m a little surprised that Neela didn’t just tell him she has a boyfriend. A little strange considering she got herself all tarted up for Gallant. Though I liked the banter between Neela and Uncle Jesse and think they had more chemistry than she does with Gallant. Gallant may be pretty, but his acting is very wooden. Whenever he and Neela are together I am always reminded of a video I saw on Cartoon Network about a piece of wood with a face on it called “My Best Friend Plank”.

Neela walks up to Jerry at Admit and asks for that lieutenant’s phone number. He gives it to her and she asks if he said what it was about. Jerry says “no, sorry”. Neela stares at the slip and walks over to the phone. She looks a bit upset and asks Frank if he has anything sarcastic to say, but he wisely doesn’t. Is she really going to call Iraq from one of the hospital phones? I’m not sure Weaver will like that, Neela. Why doesn’t she use her cell? As the phone is ringing, Teller comes over and asks if she is the doctor who prescribed the pills. Neela hangs up the phone and says yes. He asks her what the pills are for. Neela sarcastically asks him if he sees the patient’s name below hers on the bottle. That’s who the prescription is for and unless he is Zoe Butler, she can’t tell him anything. Teller states that if she treated his daughter he needs to know why. Neela apologizes and says there are confidentiality rules. Teller scoffs “Confidentiality? She’s a little kid!” He tells Neela she didn’t have his permission to treat Liv. Liv tries to stop her dad, then spots Ray, who is watching this whole exchange. Neela tells Teller he is not going to get the information from her. Ray interrupts and introduces himself. Neela tells Ray she has it. Teller asks if Ray is Neela’s boss, which makes me laugh out loud. Ray starts to talk to Teller, when Neela stops him and says that she needs to speak to him in private. He wants her to let him deal with it. She insists “no”. She walks away and he follows saying he can handle this. She tells him he can’t and asks how by talking to Teller and telling him his daughter has a sexually transmitted disease, because if he does, it’s a breach of confidentiality. Ray just wants to do the right thing and Neela asks if he wants to violate her privacy, too. Ouch. Neela reminds him that what he did was a crime and if he tells the truth he’ll go to jail. Hey, maybe he and Pony can share a cell. Or Steve, since he’s getting transferred. Neela explains that the only thing he can do is let it go and allow her to deal with it.

Chi-Chi is shocking Sydney’s heart. Abby says “asystole” and Chi-Chi tells her to resume compressions. He wants her to see if she can find a hole in the right ventricle. Chi-Chi asks if she had a high-dose epi, and Luka replies five minutes ago. This made me laugh because Ellen Degeneres was on the set of ER last week and she was asking Goran Visnjic and Maura Tierney what a high dose epi was used for, and neither of them could tell her, although Goran said he thought it was medicine and you gave it when someone was sick. Hee. Chi-Chi tells Abby that if there’s a cardiac injury to occlude, they’ll get better ventricular filling. Luka tells him that Sydney’s been in pulseless v-fib and asystole for twenty-five minutes and she’s still not perfusing with open compressions. Chi-Chi bitches that he’s giving her another chance. Luka’s High Horse trots in to tell him that all he’s giving her is more abuse. Abby tells Chi-Chi to stop it, although from the way she said it, she could have been saying it to Luka as well. Chi-Chi keeps up the compressions and Abby, more quietly, tells him to just stop it. She’s watching him as he doesn’t look up and keeps squeezing. Abby looks away, desolately as Chi-Chi finally stops. Luka glowers at him as he calls the time of death as 3:49. Luka looks over at Abby, who glares at him, then looks away, removing her gloves. She says that she’ll sew up the chest before the family gets there. He walks over towards her with the chart, but instead of handing it to her, he drops it on the table and turns and walks out. Abby, dejectedly wipes off Sydney’s face.

After commercial, Neela walks into the ambulance bay, dialing her cell phone. Guess she thought better of tempting the wrath of Weaver. She gets through to Camp Claiborne and asks for Lt. Strickland. The man on the phone asks who she is and she tells him, stating that she’s returning the lieutenant’s call. It only takes about two seconds before the lieutenant picks up because apparently there is nothing happening in the war zone and he can hang near the phone all day. Lt. Strickland says that he understands she’s a friend of Michael Gallant’s. Neela says that she is, and looks more and more worried, especially when the Lt. tells her he has some bad news. Are they going to kill off Gallant? Maybe Uncle Jesse is still in the hospital and you can go to the hockey game after all, Neela. The Lt. tells her there has been an incident outside of Mosul. Then the previously crystal clear connection conveniently starts zotzing out, heightening the drama over whether Gallant is toast or not. The voice keeps breaking up and Neela asks if she can hear him. The voice comes back clearly and says that there were several casualties. Neela is looking kind of nervous, but really not as anxious as you would think given this phone call, so I’m not worried. The Lt. goes on that Gallant’s unit had a heavy patient flow of casualties so he’ll be unable to make it home on leave as anticipated and he asked the Lt. to pass the info on to Neela. Neela wants him to confirm that Gallant’s okay and not injured, and the Lt. says that he’s “a little homesick and sand-weary”, but fine. Neela thanks him for the phone call, looking relieved.

Luka is walking down the hall, writing on a chart. He passes Chi-Chi who is looking at an x-ray. Chi-Chi calls him over and asks if it looks like a subdural to him. Luka looks at him skeptically, then comes over and glances at the x-ray and says “no”. Luka walks away and Chi-Chi follows. Chi-Chi is still trying to justify his treatment by saying that 95% of the time controlled hypotension would have worked in this situation. Luka’s High Horse declares that he should make sure to tell that to Sydney’s family. Chi-Chi tells him to come on, there was no way that she should have had a tamponade and Luka knows it. Uh, yeah Chi-Chi, but she did. All Luka’s High Horse knows is that she did and that if she had been given fluids, she wouldn’t have died. Chi-Chi doesn’t think that’s a certainty. Luka’s High Horse believes they would have seen the signs and they could have drained the pericardium. Chi-Chi exposits that he did what he thought was in her best interest. Luka retorts that he did even when two other doctors disagreed with him. I guess Luka means himself and Abby. Chi-Chi comes back that Dubenko agreed with him. Luka thinks Chi-Chi would have done the same even if he hadn’t, because that’s Chi-Chi’s style, Luka continues as he walks away, that Chi-Chi does whatever the hell he wants regardless of what anyone else thinks. Chi-Chi follows after him bitching “You don’t like my style? What is that?” Luka pronounces that they were all there a long time before Chi-Chi and they work together and that Chi-Chi is the new guy and that he needs to fit in with them and not the other way around. Chi-Chi wants to know if this is a damned social club. Not any one that I’d want to belong to, Chi-Chi. Unless it were only a membership of two, and the other one besides me is Luka. Although the way he is acting today, I don’t know that I would want him in my club … at least not fully clothed. Luka tells him that if he can’t do that, then they have a problem. Chi-Chi says he takes risks to save his patients and that he’s sorry if that scares Luka. Well, considering you just killed a patient, Chi-Chi, I’d be a little scared. Luka yells at him “especially if you start sucking in the residents.” So is this argument about Abby? Please don’t tell me they are going to have a duel over her like Luka did with Carter in “Secrets and Lies”, because that was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen on this show. As Luka goes on “They need to be taught the fundamentals not some unproven and esoteric studies”, Chi-Chi talks over him about how he is about cutting-edge medicine and if he sees a problem, he fixes it and then he gets in Luka’s face and says “bam!” Luka looks at him as Chi-Chi stops and says "what?", blood coming out of his nose. Luka tells him that maybe he should fix that and walks away. Sally, who has been watching this whole exchange, comes over to Chi-Chi and hands him some gauze. She asks him if it happens often. He says only after five or six beers and a bar fight. Sally thinks people just seem really wired after what happened. Chi-Chi says “you picked up on that too, huh?” Sally wonders if they should have a critical incident debriefing after shift, and Chi-Chi thinks it’s a great idea. He walks away. Sally spots Ray and tells him that they are going to have a critical incident debriefing in Exam 3 after shift. Ray wants to know why and Sally asks him “why do you think?” She says it was a tough shift for people and it helps if they can get a chance to decompress before they go home. Ray thinks that’s why God created beer. Well, Ben Franklin did say that “beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy”, so I’d have to agree with you there, Ray. Ray asks if it’s mandatory, and Sally says it is and tells him to pass it on before walking away. Sam comes up and grabs a chart and Ray asks her what she thinks – who would win a street fight between Luka and Chi-Chi? Ray thinks Luka has size, but he has a feeling that Chi-Chi is “kind of squirrely”. Obviously, you weren’t around to see what Luka did to that mugger on his first date with Abby, Ray. Or to her neighbor that beat her up. Come to think of it, if this fight with Chi-Chi is about Abby, then my money is on Luka. Sam thinks Ray needs help, and I’d have to agree.

Chi-Chi is in an Exam room looking at his face in a bedpan and sucking the blood back up his nose. Nice. Abby walks in and asks what he’s doing. He says nothing as he puts the bedpan behind him on the bed, and covers his nose with his hand. Abby asks him what happened to his nose. Chi-Chi replies “Kovac”. Abby, surprised, walks quickly over to him and asks only semi-disbelievingly “he hit you?” Chi-Chi says “no, but I bet he would like to have”. Holding a thumb over the bleeding nostril, he tells her that the last time he got one of these, Tina Marino had caught him with her cousin. Are the nosebleeds significant? Does Chi-Chi have hypertension or something? Or could he be doing coke? Maybe that’s what the trouble was that made him leave his last job, though I doubt it since Weaver seems to know about it and there’s no way after what they went through with Carter that she would knowingly hire a drug addict. Maybe Chi-Chi has one of those inexplicable fatal nosebleed diseases like the one that killed Albert Ingalls on Little House on the Prairie. Abby wants to take a look at it. She thinks he’s going to need to be packed, but he tells her it’s tapering off, as he sucks more bloody snot up. Lovely. She tells him that’s not working. He says he’s fine. She puts on gloves as he tells her that he’s sorry about Sydney. Not looking at him, she says that she is too. He says that he was trying to save her despite what Luka might think. Abby says she knows. Chi-Chi looks really sad. Abby pulls out what looks like a tampon and tilts his chin so that she can stick it up his nose. He looks at her again, this time she is looking back, and his eyes are shiny as he tells her that he is really, really sorry. And he looks it. She seems touched and says “okay, put your head back” and nods at him.

Luka is walking down that hall. He isn’t wearing a labcoat and is carrying a jacket, so he must be ending his shift. And I don’t think I’ve mentioned before that he is wearing a blue shirt. Yum. See, I’ve already forgiven him for being such an ass for most of this episode. He’s carrying a file. He stops Weaver who is walking by. This is the first time I remember Laura Innes actually appearing in an episode that she’s directed. Luka asks her if she’s found someone to replace Susan as Chief of the ER. Susan! They actually mentioned her again! I miss Sherry Stringfield. And her hair. Weaver tells him they are still looking at candidates. Luka wants to know if Chi Chi is the favorite. Weaver says that he’s certainly up there and asks why. Luka’s not sure that he’s the right person for the job. Weaver tells him that if he thinks of someone better, to feel free to give her a call. He asks “what about me?”, and raises his eyebrows at her, adorably. How could she not give him the job? Well, I guess she’s immune to his charms, ‘cause honey, if he can’t make you switch teams, no one can. She’s surprised because she didn’t think he would want to be Chief. And speaking of Chiefs, I just realized there’s been no Morris this episode. No wonder I’ve been enjoying it so much. Luka just stares at her, drumming his fingers on the desk. She says she really doesn’t think it’s his style. He thinks that maybe it’s time for him to change his style. Weaver looks at him, curiously. Maybe she’s rethinking the team thing? He’s been there a long time and he knows the people and the department and he just wants to put his name into the mixture. Weaver corrects “mix”. Hee. But Luka doesn’t get it, because Abby is the only one who’s allowed to correct his English and she’s not in this scene. Weaver tells him that she’ll let the committee know that he’s interested. He thanks her as she walks away. Frank walks up and tells everyone that Sally is waiting for them in Exam 3. Ray tells Pratt that she said it was mandatory, and he said Chi-Chi did too. Neela thinks they want them to express their feelings about what happened today. Luka says “well, today sucked. Good night” and walks away. Way to set a good example, Luka. That is so the way to prove that you are Chief material. Ray says “Great. Was it mandatory for everyone except the Attendings?” Sam is accompanying a gurney a saying “Edna Casselman, 56, found in the park, altered, no sign of trauma”. Pratt looks at Neela and Ray and smiles saying “thank you, Edna” and to tell Sally that he is with a patient. Ray scoffs, then looks at Neela, who is distracted. He asks her “it can’t be that bad, can it?” She tells him that Gallant’s leave has been postponed. He says he’s sorry. He wants to know if he can come by and pick up his amp. I thought for a second that maybe he moved out, but remembered that he told her he would make himself scarce when Gallant visited. She says “whatever” and that she really doesn’t feel like sticking around “for this dumb thing”. Nice attitude, people. She tells Ray that she has dinner reservations at Gibson’s if he wants to grab a drink or five. He says “Wow. I like the way you think, Roomie”. And asks if it’s her treat. She says as long as he stops calling her “Roomie”. Hee.

Abby is sitting in Exam 3 with Chi-Chi and Sally. She asks him how his nose is. He says it seems to be working and thanks her. Sally, realizing that no one else is going to show up, says “The hell with this. Go home.” Abby gets up, says “see you later” and leaves. Chi-Chi tells Sally that he thought it was a great idea. He thinks the department needs a lot of work. She thinks it needs a kick in the ass.

Sad Cop is standing in the hall outside Trauma Yellow, looking through the window. He has a bag in his hand. Abby walks up and he asks her if the parents have shown up. She says they should be there soon. The camera stays on Abby as Sad Cop says “after all she’s been through … maybe she’s better off.” Abby's not sure anybody is better off dead. Sad Cop hands Abby the bag and tells her that he recovered this in the parking lot. It’s Coogy. As he’s walking away, Sad Cop says he has to check in with Wounded Cop and he hears that he is driving the nurses upstairs crazy. Abby hasn’t taken her eyes off of Sydney in the Trauma Room. She goes in and walks over to the body as the Unhappy Piano Music of Traumas Gone Wrong plays. Abby puts the stuffed animal in Sydney’s arms and tucks the blanket around her. This is really sad.

Neela asks Ray how much trouble he thinks they’ll get in for not showing up. He doesn’t care, because he’s not working for a few days, so he figures it will blow over by then. Neela’s pissed because she is working tomorrow and thinks she’ll get punished for both of them. Wait a minute. Wasn’t Gallant supposed to be home? She didn’t request off for tomorrow after he will have flown half-way around the world to be with her? Nice, Neela. A fist comes out of nowhere and slams into Ray’s face. Teller starts beating the crap out of Ray, as Neela yells for him to stop. Neela shouts for security as Teller throws Ray into the windshield of a car. Liv is sitting inside, horrified. Neela keeps yelling for security as Teller knocks Ray to the ground and starts kicking him. Damn, I didn’t know Teller was so strong. Teller tells him that if he ever comes near his daughter again, he’ll kill him. Teller puts back on his glasses, which I think is really funny, glowers at Ray, then gets in his car. Ray’s face has blood all over it. Neela kneels over him asking if he’s okay. He tells her he’s fine. I just noticed that his t-shirt, the same one he was wearing under his labcoat on shift, has little holes all over it. Again, real appropriate work attire, Ray. Hopefully, now that it has blood stains all over it, you’ll take this one out of the rotation.

Luka is in the bat cave distractedly flipping through the channels – first some movie with Ernest Borgnine, then Nascar, then we hear the theme to Get Smart, and finally the news. As we hear the weathergirl giving the forecast, the doorbell rings faintly, Luka looks up like he hears something. He turns down the volume and we hear the doorbell ringing more clearly. Turning off the TV, he gets up to answer it. He opens the door to see Abby walking away down the hall. She turns when the door opens, and they both exchange “hey’s”. Looking at her a little chagrined, he asks if she wants to come in – she nods that she does. Well, duh, Luka. I don’t think she came all the way over to your apartment to stand in the hallway. He’s pretty, but sometimes a little dim. Like his apartment. I already suggested the 100 watt bulbs, Luka. And you can get some nice track lighting at IKEA. I’ll send you the catalog. As they go back into the apartment and down the stairs into his living room, Abby comments that he didn’t go to the debriefing. He asks if she did. She says pointedly that it was just her, Sally and Chi-Chi. He asks if she’s hungry, because he could heat up some pizza for her. She’s not. The camera shows them standing far away from each other, almost on opposite ends of the couch. Abby is standing with one hand on her hip, looking almost as if she can’t keep still and would rather be pacing. Luka has both hands on his hips and is watching her. He asks her if she’s mad about something. She doesn’t answer right away, then quietly asks him what he thinks. He thinks yes, then tells her that he didn’t need to go to the debriefing, but she cuts him off angrily and says she doesn’t care about that as she tosses her purse on the nearby table. Luka wants to know what she’s talking about. Heatedly, she tells him she’s talking about him and Chi-Chi and whatever it is that is going on between the two of them. She says “if you want to get into a pissing match with him, that’s fine, just leave me out of it”. She’s totally calling him on jumping down her throat in the trauma for listening to Chi-Chi and Dubenko, because she knows that Luka has a thing about having his authority challenged. And she’s right, she was stuck in the middle and then left alone by both Attendings, and then when things went wrong, he blamed her for not listening to him. Luka replies that Chi-Chi was wrong. Abby is getting visibly upset. She looks away and says “Yeah … and that’s the most important thing isn’t it … that he was wrong and you were right.” Luka is looking at her like he doesn’t know what to say and also that he knows she’s right. She keeps going, still not looking at him, “and while you were arguing about it, the little girl died”. Luka swallows, looks a bit ashamed and looks down as we hear Abby say “as if she hadn’t suffered enough”. Exasperated, she continues, “God, she was ten years old, Luka”. She keeps gesturing with her hands, like she’s wound very tightly, but needs to be moving something. She goes on “and he had her for months and I just … I just can’t stop thinking about ...”, stops, then with her voice breaking, “what she must have gone through”. She’s getting more and more distraught, and her voice is wavering and she places her hand to her heart, almost like she’s in pain, “and I can’t stop thinking about how afraid she must have been … and I can’t stop thinking about why we couldn’t save her”. Damn, Maura Tierney is amazing in this scene. You can really feel Abby’s anguish. Luka can too. He’s been watching her, genuinely concerned. He steps closer to her as she again says “I just” but stops because she is choked up and really can’t continue. He closes the gap between them, his eyes focused on her face and she turns in towards him and sighs as he reaches up and cradles her head in his hands. She closes her eyes and you can see the grief on her face. She reaches up her right hand to touch his left one. She opens her eyes and looks at him as he leans in to kiss her, and she responds. Wow. His lips linger on hers. Then he pulls back as the camera is in a close-up on her, his hands still on her face, as she is looking at him, kind of wide-eyed. Camera switches to a close-up of him, intently gazing at her. His mouth twitches slightly like he is going to smile, but doesn’t quite do it as he stares at her. Switch back to her and her eyes, still kind of shining from unshed tears, are searching his, and she too, very, very subtly, almost smiles. As we fade to black, I alternate between hating Maura Tierney, wanting to be her, and wondering how many times she “accidentally” messed up this scene so he’d have to kiss her again. Bitch.

Well done, Laura Innes.

Okay, my two cents. This final scene was very intense. Abby is not someone who is given to expressing her emotions, other than anger, and it was disconcerting for Luka and the audience to see her so vulnerable. The fact that she let him see her like that speaks volumes to how their relationship has changed since they were dating in Season 7, when she locked herself in the bathroom in “The Dance We Do” and turned on the water so that he wouldn’t hear her crying about her mother. I think the fact that anger is the only emotion that she can consistently show to other people is why she started out so pissed at him. I think part of it is because she channeled all of her frustration and grief over Sydney into her anger because it is easier for her to express that. She went to Luka partly because she was angry with him, felt let down by him, and wanted him to know it, but also because he was there, he saw what had been done to Sydney and she needed to vent all of what she was feeling and she knew he would get it. Since he didn’t show up for the debriefing and there basically wasn’t one, she didn’t get to have the outlet for all the emotions that Sally had rightfully thought they all needed. I also think that he got caught up by her outpouring of emotion and his kissing her took them both by surprise, though not in a bad way. Anyway, just my opinion.


Neela-centric episode next week. Plane crash. Lots of action. Uncle Jesse’s back, and that paragon of great acting … Serena Williams guest stars. Oh goody.