Thursday, March 01, 2007

ER 13.12 Breach of Trust

A HUGE thank-you to last ep’s guest recappers, Josie and CA Girl, whom I can never repay for really helping me out by filling in so that I could concentrate on my … er … recovery … uh, yeah … that’s it … I was “recovering” … From a nasty bout of bad hair … I mean, bad air … So lucky for me that the Shamp -- … I mean, my personal physician … makes house calls, because those chest massages did wonders … Purely for medicinal purposes, I assure you … Just to get the breathing flowing and improve lung capacity, I swear … They weren’t the least bit pleasurable … Really … um … anyway …

Previously on ER: Intern Tony Gates, aka John Stamos, aka Uncle Jesse from Full House, aka Uncle Ego, or just McEgo for obvious reasons, starts to tell Neela, “About the other night …” but she angrily tells him to stop and he says, “It’s over” and that he told that to Meg, aka Paula Malcomson, aka Trixie from Deadwood; Neela thinks it may be for him but that “any idiot” could see from the look on Trixie’s face that it’s not over for her as the scene shifts to show a repulsed Trixie, and the viewing public, seeing McEgo in bed with Neela; Ben, the murse, aka Kip Pardue, aka Sunshine from Return of the Titans, tells Sam that he called the Nursing Director and has signed up for another month and she seems pleased; Pratt and Intern Hope Bobek, aka Busy Phillipps who played Kelly opposite Linda Cardellini in Freaks and Geeks bring meds they pilfered from the sample closet to Pastor Watkins’ church and tell him that they have enough for 90% of his “people”; Pratt writes a prescription for a woman and the makeshift clinic at the church; Weaver and her new girlfriend, TV producer Courtney with the Tina Turner hair are watching one of Weaver’s television reports and Weaver can’t believe it’s actually her on the screen but Tina thinks she’d better get used to and Weaver looks at her lovingly as she tells her “I couldn’t have done it without my producer”.

Tina, Weaver and Weaver’s son Henry, who has gotten ginormous since the last time we saw him, are eating breakfast and watching Condoleeza Rice give a briefing on some attack. Tina’s all disgusted and uses the remote to turn the TV off, saying that she “can’t even stand to look at her”. Totally with you on that, Tina … Her hair is atrocious. And I’m guessing Tina’s all into donkeys and not elephants … Weaver can’t believe Tina doesn’t think Condi’s a role model. Tina’s all appalled as Weaver points out “Not for me, but you’ve got to admit she’s important”. Tina sarcastically agrees, but says that if “Shaquita” needs a role model, she can turn on Oprah. Oh, I am so with you on the Oprah love, Tina. And I like me all Oprahs – fat Oprah, skinny Oprah, ghetto Oprah, I-ain’t-eatin’-no-hamburger Oprah … But who’s “Shaquita”? The love child of Shaquille O’Neal and the Chiquita Banana? Weaver wants to know what if Shaquita wants to be Secretary of State, and Tina thinks that then she can “look up Madeline Albright” and they chuckle, probably because Madeline Albright’s pretty short so it’s more likely Shaquita would be have to “look down” her. Weaver picks Henry up, telling him that they have to get him dressed, as the phone rings. She asks Tina if she’d mind getting that, and Tina answers the phone. Tina gets all smiles as she tells Weaver that it’s a News Director calling for her … from Miami. Weaver frowns a little, then takes the phone, saying “Hello?” as the scene shifts to:

Morris, also on the phone, bitching “What are you crazy? What would I do with two iPods and three xBoxes? Um, give me one? Then I can hunt zombies with Luka while listening to Barry Manilow … and Celine … and Jewel … He tells them to have their Fraud Department call him and hangs up. Busy, who’s standing next to him, wants to know what happened as Malik walks up and tells him that it’s time to “dial back on that escort service”. Sam, who’s doing paperwork nearby, laughs and tells Morris that’s what he gets for being such a big spender. He protests that ever since he bought the Beemer he’s been living on a tight budget. Timmy, the Desk Clerk who reminds me of Usher, snarks “that explains the pants”. Hee. Pratt comes up and asks Sam if she can check a sat on one of his patients. Sam says “no problem” and walks off as Sunshine comes up next to her and asks if she needs any help. Well, her hair, with the washed out dishrag color and the she-bangs hanging on her forehead, sure does, Sunshine. I would suggest a visit to the Hair Salon, but since she’s proven her imbecility by washing off the Shampoo Boy, she and her hair deserve what they get. Besides, judging from how well his own hair’s been looking lately and his penchant for playing hide-the-antlers reindeer games with “I’m-an-elf-dammit-I’m-not-a-freakin’-dwarf, I’m pretty sure Shampoo Boy is much happier with his current Stylist … Bitch … Sam tells him that she needs some help moving stuff to her new place. Not only does she-bangs she-bangs, but she-moves she-moves, too. And you’re moving out of the mansion that belongs to your boss Richard, aka Armand Assante, aka The Mambo Mumbler, Sam? What are you, crazy? Don’t answer that … see aforementioned Shampoo Boy tossing … But there’s a movie theater there, Sam!!! I’d never leave … Maybe Mambo’s got a little bit of Monica in his life, a little bit of Erica by his side, and maybe a little bit of Rita’s all he needs, so it seems too crowded in there for a little bit of Samantha in the sun … Guess that’s why she’s lettin’ the Sunshine in. That, and she hears he has a truck. Oh, another guy to use, abuse and emasculate, huh, Sam? If you can succeed in making even Luka seem unattractive, Sunshine better just put a paper bag over his head now and be done with it. Sunshine tells her that he only helps people move if they promise to feed him. Obviously you weren’t around at Thanksgiving, Sunshine, or you’d know that her idea of gourmet is Turkey Ala Hefty Bag. Since microwaving a bean burrito is Chapter One in the White Trash Cookbook, Sam thinks that they can work that out. Sunshine smiles because he has yet to realize that he’s in for a gastrointestinal misadventure.

McEgo, with a wool cap on his head, is fooling around and dragging an equally bedecked Sarah, Trixie’s daughter, who reminds me of one of the Tanner girls on Full House so I’ve dubbed her Deej, on an IV stand. He calls over to the Samshine and introduces Deej. Pratt is standing at the desk and he says “hi” to her. Because she is one, Sam speaks “teenager” and compliments Deej’s hat, and Deej reciprocates by commenting on Sam’s necklace. She thanks her and says that her “kid” gave it to her. How did New Alex, or Newlex, aka Splinter for his acting resemblance to Neela’s dead wooden husband, Gallant, aka Plank, pay for that? Does he have a job? Maybe he’s making money selling his blood, or since it’s him, his sap, because maple syrup is pretty pricey. Sam tells Deej that Splinter is about her age. Oh no … she’s not trying to hook them up, is she? Deej may be a little annoying, but she at least deserves a real boy, Sam. Would their shipper name be Spleej? Sam takes the IV stand and heads off as McEgo tells Pratt that Deej is “shadowing” him today. This is the first Pratt’s heard of it. McEgo says that he talked to Luka and Weaver about it, but Pratt points out that he didn’t talk to him, and Pratt is running the floor. Deej thinks Pratt must be the guy who’s always “riding Uncle Tony … You know … Like a bull in heat”. Thanks so much for that image, Deej. Ewww. And I highly doubt it – Pratt’s got more sense than Neela and wouldn’t expose himself to an infectious disease, because everyone knows John Stamos Has Rabies. McEgo tries to shush her. Pratt wants to know what else Uncle Ego told her. Deej says that the rest she’s not allowed to say. McEgo has moved behind her, with one hand on her neck and the other on top of her head, kind of like he’d like to strangle her right now. Pratt sort of chuckles and tells McEgo to make sure that Deej signs a confidentiality form and if she gets hurt, it’s his responsibility. Pratt hands him a chart and McEgo salutes and “Aye, aye, Captain” ‘s him sarcastically. Guess all that talk about being ridden makes him think he’s in the Navy …

TV Tina and Weaver are coming down the El steps, still talking about the Miami thing. Tina’s trying to convince her that it’s a huge thing and asks if she knows how hard it is to get your own morning show. Weaver laughs it off that it wouldn’t be her own show, she’d just do the health reporting. Tina tells her that it’s full-time, and she’d have her own daily segment. Weaver thinks it’s flattering but insists that she’s a doctor. Tina reminds her that she’s just been demoted from a hospital where she’s worked for over ten years. Weaver states that she loves medicine and she’s never pictured herself doing anything else. Um, hate to call you on circumventing the a bit here, Weaver, but you were Chief of Staff for a few years, only took sporadic shifts and until last year when Morris showed you up in a trauma, didn’t really devote yourself to working a whole hell of a lot doing the doctoring thing. Tina thinks she’ll still be able to do that, on her own show. Weaver wants her to stop saying that. As they walk into the Ambulance Bay and Weaver holds Tina’s arm, she claims that she’s not leaving Chicago, she’s not leaving her friends, and she’s not pulling Henry out of his preschool. Tina thinks Weaver can find another preschool. They stop and watch as Morris is helping the paramedics unload a gurney from the rig. The patient strapped to it is Yvonne Devilliere, aka Michael Hyatt who played Angela Blake on The West Wing, and Brianna Barksdale on The Wire. Random paramedic tells Morris that Barksdale, or Barks for short, had tripped and fell on the sidewalk, but Barks says that her leg just gave out. Morris asks if there was any loss of consciousness, but Random says there wasn’t. Barks looks worried as she says that she doesn’t know what happened. Weaver tells Tina that she needs to take this and Morris hands her the chart and says that Barks has a forehead contusion and knee abrasion. Weaver says that they have to clear her neck and Random hands her an art portfolio and says that it’s Barks’. As they head towards the ER, Weaver asks her if she knows where she is and Barks says that she knows she’s not home. Tina walks with them and keeps pushing Weaver that she’s got to consider Miami, which peaks Morris’ curiosity. Tina asks when the station wants an answer and Weaver says “by tomorrow afternoon”. Tina tells her that she better start thinking about it, but Weaver says that she already has and she’s not doing, as Morris looks at all this with interest. Weaver calls out some orders as Tina just stops and watches her walk away. Weaver looks back at Tina then ahead to where they’re moving Barks as we move to funky opening graphic montage.

After commercial, Weaver, Morris, Busy and Dawn the nurse are working on Barks in Trauma Green. Morris can’t believe Weaver isn’t all into going to Miami … buenvenidos a Miami … Miami, uh, uh South Beach, bringin the heat, uh Ha ha, can y'all feel that … He keeps going on about what’s in Miami, like “getting naked at the Delano, Miami”. Busy gives him an amused look, because the thought of Morris naked anywhere is just hilarious, and Weaver simply ignores him as she says that Barks’ c-spine is clear and they start to remove the backboard. Barks is all worried about whether they have her sketch book. Weaver assures her that it’s there as they roll her and move the board out. Morris bitches that Weaver can’t steal his “15 minutes then punt them away”. Weaver doesn’t want to hear it and “not now” ‘s him. Weaver asks Barks if she’s an artist and she says that she’s a painter … so basically, that’s a “yes” then, Barks. Busy, sporting the purple latex gloves, is checking Barks’ mouth and says that there is no intra-oral trauma or dental fractures. Dawn tells them that Barks’ glucose is 295 and Morris asks if she has diabetes. Barks says that her sugar’s always been a little high and she’s supposed to watch her diet. Weaver asks if she’s on any medications and Barks says that she’s on some such “micin” med for her foot that I didn’t catch because I’m too busy ick-ing out over the huge open sore that Morris is examining. Yuck. He says that it’s a chronic infection at the base of the second toe with some surrounding cellulitis, and it is just nasty. Weaver goes to press on it to ask if it hurts, but Barks stops her, saying that she’s been limping around for a while now, then insists that she’s fine. Weaver orders a foot series and wants to “culture the wound”. She exits into the hall with Morris hot at her heels.

Morris tries to convince Weaver about Miami. He thinks she could be the next Judge Judy. Hee. Maybe since she doesn’t need the cane for walking, she could use it as a gavel. Morris says “… or Dr. Phil”. Oh, forget that Weaver, you could be the next Sally Jessie Raphael or Jerry Springer …Then he adds, as if it’s a clincher to persuade her “… Ellen”. Hee. Weaver keeps walking and tells him to go clear some patients. He calls after her protesting that it’s the “big leagues … the majors”. Really? Isn’t Chicago like the third largest city in the U.S.? How can Miami possibly be a bigger market? Weird. Morris wants her to “take her swing”. Really is too bad that you don’t have the cane anymore, Weaver, ‘cause I have ideas of what you could swing at …

In the Curtain Area, Pratt, McEgo and Deej are with a young girl who hurt her foot in dance class. Pratt thinks it looks pretty bad and McEgo says that they’re waiting on a surgical consult. As Pratt starts to question that, a smirking Deej chimes in that Foot Girl’s “fiancé fell on her”. What was this “slam dance” class? A big guy who looks like Randy from My Name is Earl stands behind Pratt and all concerned, asks Foot Girl if she’s okay. Pratt grins and says “good luck” as he pats Randy on the arm and walks away. Randy steps closer to Foot Girl and Neela comes up, saying “hey” to McEgo. McEgo tells her “You remember Sarah”. Neela says “hi” rather uncomfortably, probably because the last time they met she was exposing herself to toxins while not practicing safe animal control by being under McRoadkill. Ewww. McEgo tells her that Deej is shadowing him today and Neela thinks she’ll have fun. Deej shrugs noncommittally. Neela starts to examine Foot Girl and asking where her belly hurts, and Foot Girl says “all over”. Yikes. Jeez, Randy. You fell on her good. Squishing the spleen and fracturing the foot. I think Foot Girl needs to go on Earl’s list. Neela thinks there are good bowel sounds as Deej stares at her, then comments “she doesn’t look like a whore”. Damn, Deej. Did you not just see what Randy did to Foot Girl by accident? I’m thinking he could do you some serious damage for purposely insulting his fiancée in front of him. Oh, wait. I think she means Neela’s the whore. Oh, well that’s okay then. Neela’s all “excuse me?” as McEgo admonishes Sarah. Neela asks “Did she just call me a …?” as Foot Girl, looking all shocked that a teenager would actually use a word like that, finishes “… whore … She called you a whore”. McEgo tries to take control of the situation, and excusing that Deej did not just say that but Deej claims “my mom did”. Nice, Trixie. Considering what your job was on Deadwood and that you used to even sign your name as “Trixie the Whore”, you’ve really got no room to talk. Neela thinks Trixie’s mistaken because she’s not a whore … she just plays one on TV. Deej wants to know if Neela’s calling Trixie a liar. McEgo gets pissy with Deej and tells her “You want to go home?” Neela takes Foot Girl’s chart and tells McEgo to get a C-T scan, hands the chart back to him and storms away.

Abby walks up beside Neela and asks if she saw her infected G-tube patient in Exam Three yet. A pissed off Neela says that she’s just about to and bitches “That little tosser just called me a whore”. Abby thinks Deej seems so sweet. Hee. Neela’s all appalled because she’s never been called a whore. Abby asks if Deej said “dirty whore” or “filthy whore”. Hee. Abby’s so amused by this. Neela wants to know if there’s a difference as Abby smirks and says “depends on the whore”. Hee. And, hey! Abby’s wearing my necklace! Wait a minute … that’s a “circle of love” necklace, Abby. Considering you don’t often wear jewelry, except maybe the occasional earrings, but very rarely necklaces … and the last ep was the holiday episode … Did Luka give that to you for Christmas? Awww, that’s sweet … Bitch … And now I am just so going to have to pretend that Luka gave me mine, too … Sorry, Mr. Cranky … and … Bitch … Neela grins as we hear Ray call out “Edgar Dixon …”

Neela turns to see Ray, Sunshine and another Random Paramedic bringing in a patient on a gurney. Ray says that Edgar vomited blood and passed out in a hardware store. Oh, I totally understand that, Edgar. I get a little woozy in the power tool aisle at Home Depot myself. As Abby comes up to help them, Sunshine tells her that the pressure’s 80 palp. Abby says to type and cross four and call for O Neg.

In Trauma Yellow, Sunshine says that the pulse is 105. Edgar asks if they called his wife and Ray tells him he needs to be still. Edgar says that it’s Thursday so she’s at the hairdresser. Since Abby and Luka are both on duty, he must not mean their Bat Cave Day Spa, but maybe they’ve got their Mobile Hair Salon up and running again. Sam says that his wife is on her way. Sam says that the hemocue’s 12.4 so Abby tells her to forget the O Neg and asks for twenty of IV fomotidine and 10 of Reglan. Ray wants another liter of saline wide open and asks Edgar if he’s had any belly pain. Edgar says that he felt nauseous today and Abby asks if he’s ever had an ulcer, but he says he hasn’t. Ray wants to know if he drinks much alcohol, but Edgar responds “not a drop”. Abby says that the belly’s benign and as she checks Edgar’s eyes, Sam asks him who his doctor is. He says that he doesn’t really have one and Sunshine asks if he’s on any medication. He says that he gets something from the drugstore for arthritis. Ray wants to know if its Ibuprofen or Naproxen, but Edgar doesn’t know. Abby tells him that some arthritis medications can cause an ulcer. Edgar wants to know if it’s serious and Abby tells him that if it keeps bleeding it could be. Haleh comes in and tells Sam that she has a “guest”. Abby tells her to go ahead and Sam leaves with Haleh.

Out in the hall, Haleh tells Sam that her “guest” says she’s family and drove all the way from Dallas. Sam wears an “oh, shit” face but says instead “oh, no”. She thanks Haleh as she heads towards Admit, looking none too thrilled. Standing by the Nurses Station is a trashily dressed older lady who looks like the geriatric version of Sam. A surprised Sam perks up a bit and says “Grandma?” Oh, of course she is …

Weaver’s in drug lockup as Luka looks in from the hallway. Not seeing him, Weaver bitches to herself that they’re out of Compazine again and Luka tells her that Pharmacy is coming to restock and suggests a different drug. Weaver thinks that’s a good idea and starts searching the shelves. Leaning on the counter, Luka says conversationally, “Listen, I just heard about your job offer …” Weaver tells him not to worry, she’s not moving to Miami. Luka looks strangely discomfited by this news. He glances quickly at her, then down as he asks almost hopefully, “You’re not considering it?” She says cheerfully that she’s not and that she likes it there, as Luka chews on his lips, looking very ill at ease. What’s up with that, Luka? You’re wearing a shirt that could still be part of the Luka Blue family, although it’s a lot paler than Luka Blue the Original, or even Luka Blue II, so according to your Mood Ring/Shirt Color, you should probably be having an okay day. Why look so stressed? At least you’re not wearing a scrub shirt … Nothing good ever comes of you wearing a scrub shirt … Weaver says good-naturedly that they may have their occasional gunplay, but at least they’re helping people, and asks him “Right?” Shooting quick glances at her, Luka looks like he’s hesitating about saying something before he finally starts “I don’t need to tell you that January is budget month …” Uh oh … I’m getting a baaaaad feeling about this … Weaver’s not really paying attention as she’s writing something and just sort of “uh huh” ‘s him. He tells her that they’re asking him to make some cuts and that they want him to lose an Attending. … Oh no … Weaver’s quips maybe he can send Morris to Miami. Playing with his fingernails uncomfortably, Luka looks a little pained as he tells her that Morris’ salary won’t do it and that he needs to cut at least $200,000. Yikes. He looks up at Weaver, pointedly. Oh, say it ain’t so, Luka … He stares at her as, still writing, Weaver comments that “the only people that make that much are you and …” Now Weaver finally catches on and she looks over at him. … No, no, no … They share a look for a moment before she says “You’re kidding, right?” Luka looks a little distressed as he begins “Kerry …” and she turns away from him, disbelievingly. He comes around into the lockup, telling her that he has to cut costs somewhere. An incredulous Weaver asks “You’re firing me???” … What … What …WHAT??? … Then getting angry she questions “And this is how you tell me???” Luka thinks there is no good way. Weaver stares at him like she can’t believe this is happening. And I am so with you on the incredulity, Weaver, because I can’t believe it either. Is Laura Innes leaving??? NO!!! But I love her! … She’s been on this show for a gazillion years, and she took what could have been one-note, pain-in-the-ass role and made her into a complex, often irritating but always interesting character. Weaver shakes her head, saying quietly, “This is unbelievable”. Luka tells Weaver that she’s been doing this for a long time, and though it’s not for him to say, lately it seems like she’s “had enough”. Weaver’s all “What?!?!” He rationalizes that most of the time she’s out doing news stories. Weaver comes back at him that she does those stories on her days off. Haleh comes in behind Luka, saying “Excuse me, I need some unicin”. Luka apologizes and tries to explain to Weaver that his hands are tied … and not in a good way … and that he’s just trying to … but an upset Weaver cuts him off, scowls and asks sarcastically “To do what? To do the right thing? Or do the easy thing?” Luka tells her that he’s not happy about this. With tears in her eyes, Weaver steels herself and lashes out at him “You know what? When they were going to fire you, I stepped up. I took the fall. That’s the only reason I ended up back in the ER”. Then nastily she adds, pointing at him, “And that’s the only reason that you’re still here”. Luka doesn’t know how to respond to this and doesn’t say anything as Weaver pushes past him to exit the lockup. Hate to rain on your supposedly triumphant parting shot and exit, Weaver, but what you just said? Well, that isn’t exactly true, now is it? You stepped up? You took the fall? All you did was to finally, for once, come clean about something that was your fault -- the fact that you were the one that made the really stupid decision to hire, and keep around, Attending Victor Clemente, aka John Leguizamo, aka Chi-Chi Rodriguez from To Wong Foo, knowing that he had some serious problems. And we never did find out exactly “what happened in Newark”, that they kept referring to last season, did we? So quit the posturing. Though I’m with you on the sentiment to savor … I mean, “save” … Luka’s ass, that’s not the way it really happened, so shut it with the righteous indignation, Weaver. A shocked Haleh just stares open-mouthed at Luka, and not in the good way that I normally do, but in the “what the hell did you do?” way that means the hospital grapevine’s so gonna have some new seeds sprouting.

Ray’s pornstache facial hair, that has not made much of an improvement from last ep, tells Edgar that his blood count’s holding at 30, which means that he doesn’t have any on-going blood loss. A woman who must be Mrs. Edgar, obviously pulled away from her hair appointment while she was in the chair because it just looks ghastly, says that they were in Atlantic City last weekend and Edgar had started getting ill then. She I-told-you-so’s him that she knew he should have gone to the doctor, and Edgar tucks his tail between his legs as he tells her that she was right. Ray tells him that he could have an ulcer or a small tear in the esophagus as Abby says that they’ll have to admit him and have a specialist take a look at his stomach just to make sure. Abby asks Mrs. Edgar to go with her to fill out some paperwork. Mrs. Edgar “I love you” ‘s Edgar and says that she’ll be right back as she heads out with Abby.

Abby walks up to Admit and overhears Haleh asking Weaver, disbelievingly, “This is the first you’ve heard of it???” Weaver sadly replies “He just told me”. Haleh is all indignant and “can’t believe this”. Weaver, spotting Abby, tells Haleh under her breath to just let it go. But Abby’s spidey-sense is tingling and as she’s already caught wind that something’s wrong and since she is Abby after all, she just butts in asking “Let what go?” Haleh can’t wait to tell her and bitches “Your guy is firing Dr. Weaver”. Abby looks totally floored. What, did she not realize that Luka is her guy? … Bitch … But, uh oh … I’m guessing Luka didn’t say anything to her about canning Weaver … and I’m guessing she’s not going to be happy about that. Nice, Luka. Guess you won’t be hiding those antlers again any time soon ... Gaping in surprise, Abby looks over at Weaver, who purposely won’t look back at her, staring at the chart in front of her instead. Realizing that Mrs. Edgar is still standing there, Abby points her over towards Triage and says that she’ll meet her over there. When Mrs. Edgar walks away, Abby moves closer to Haleh and asks “He’s what?” Weaver glances up quickly and states matter-of-factly, “Budget cuts”, then goes back to writing on her chart. Hand on hip, Abby looks at her all shocked as Haleh tells Weaver that she doesn’t care if she has another job offer, she’s “the best damned Attending in this place”. Confused now, Abby asks what she means by another job offer. Haleh explains that it’s in Miami Weaver concentrates on the x-ray, not happy with what she sees. Abby’s still trying to get a handle on the situation and asks, “Kerry? … What’s going on?” Shooting quick glances at Abby and obviously not wanting to talk to her right now, Weaver says that the x-ray is bad and that she has to deal with it. She and Dawn walk away towards Trauma Green as Abby watches her go. Abby turns back to find Haleh staring at her with a “So, what are you going to do about it?” look. A still incredulous Abby shrugs and whines “I know … I’ll talk to him” and heads off, leaving Haleh to shake her head all like “You’d better”. as Dawn hands Barks’ x-ray to Weaver.

Weaver is telling Barks that the x-ray shows that she has an infection in the bones of her second and third toes. With a knowing tone, Barks replies “osteomyelitis” and adds resignedly “What else is new?” Dawn can’t believe that she knew about it and Barks waves it off that she cut her foot and clindamycin was supposed to clear it up. Weaver tells her that it’s not working and based on the increase in pain she’s feeling, it’s getting worse. Guess Barks’ toes are barking. Barks thinks she needs to give the antibiotics a few more weeks. Weaver explains that the diabetes has decreased the blood supply to her toes, so the antibiotics aren’t working. Barks wants to know what Weaver is saying. Weaver states that surgery is her only chance for a cure. Barks’ taken aback, “Surgery?” A not-happy-to-be-having-to-say-this Weaver responds “Partial amputation”. Yikes. Oh, that totally sucks, Barks. Barks can’t believe Weaver wants permission to cut off her foot. Weaver nods, saying that it’s not the whole foot, but two toes. Barks refuses. Weaver explains that if she doesn’t do this, the infection could spread and she could die. Barks gets up, claiming that she’ll take her chances. Weaver tries to stop her but Barks stares her down, insisting that she is walking out of there … on both feet. She tells Dawn to get out of her way and starts to leave.

Sam and Gracie the Gaudy Grandma walk back into the ER, coats on and carrying take-out coffee cups. Sam thinks it’s wrong that Gaudy was just kicked out of the retirement home. Gaudy thinks that nobody cares about the elderly. Sam’s not buying it and asks if Gaudy got into a fight with her boyfriend. Gaudy wants clarification, “Which one?” as the Crappy Clinking Clunks of Crazy Coarse Chintzy Coots cackles. Gaudy admits that she got tossed out because of a “horticultural infraction”. Hee. If that’s the case, then you so need to park your trailer near me, Gaudy, because I could sure use some herbal remedies to help keep this dreck I’m writing from becoming even dreckier … Either that, or it will make me not care so much … Because Sam’s dishwater hair dye has deleted what little brain cells she had, she doesn’t get it so Gaudy explains that they didn’t like her garden. Sam asks why and Gaudy shrugs, pretending not to understand it herself. Sam asks what she was planting. Gaudy claims “the usual”, like lavender and basil, but her theme song of Gratingly Garish Geriatrics tells us otherwise. Sam presses her to level with her and Gaudy closes her eyes so she doesn’t have to see Sam disapproval as she comes clean “Maybe a little cannabis”. Hee. Sam can’t believe Gaudy was “growing weed”, but Gaudy insists it’s medicinal … for glaucoma. Sam calls her on it, saying that she doesn’t have glaucoma, but Gaudy thinks that’s why she doesn’t have it. Hee. And yeah, that excuse never worked for me either, Gaudy. Of course, I’m like a gazillion years younger than you, so that might have had something to do with it … Sam’s all affronted that she did this because Gaudy is 75 years old and she’s lucky she wasn’t thrown in jail. Gaudy thinks “Then I can visit your mother” … HA!!! … Sam’s not too pleased with Gaudy bringing that up, but I sure am. Poor Splinter … Gets the ex-con chromosome from both sides … Hee … Sam just stares at her, and Gaudy, looking a little shamefaced, says that Mama Con gets out next week. Gaudy makes excuses that identity theft is a “victimless crime”. Oh, yeah, Gaudy? Tell that to that guy who got stuck with the bill for the $600 leather bustier … though it does lift and separate … Sam doesn’t agree. They go into the lounge, where Gaudy agrees that Sam is right. She explains that Mama Con married a nice electrician, a sweet Mexican guy named Pablo. Sam’s not too thrilled about having a new Step-papa because she snidely remarks “Well, maybe the fifth time’s the charm”. Gaudy knows that they “have drama”, but reminds her that they are family … that have obviously been skinny-dipping in the shallow end of the gene pool. Sam ignores this and asks Gaudy how long she’s staying. Gaudy replies “Just till you throw me out, not a bit longer”. Hee. Sam sort of smiles at this, though the wistful look could just be because she’s wondering if her new place has room for a garden …

Weaver is helping paramedics load an old guy with a bandaged head into the rig. She tells Old Guy that she’ll see him next week for his suture removal. Um … Kerry? Did you just conveniently forget that you don’t work there anymore? Remember? You know, that whole thing where you were alone in the drug lockup with the Boundlessly Beautiful Balkan, and not in a good way … not that you would anyway … loony lesbian … though I think a few crème rinses from the Shampoo Boy might just help convince you to swing the other way … So does it not ring a bell that the ER Chief just fired you? Or are you expecting that now that Abby knows, she’ll lay the smack down … or maybe that’s rub down … on him … Bitch … and he’ll change his mind? Guess you’re counting on threat of bad hair days and loss of salon privileges to help him see the error of his ways … Bitch … Weaver spots Barks sitting on a bench outside of Jumbo Mart. Weaver, shivering a bit in her labcoat with no overcoat on, asks her why she’s still there and Barks says that the bus is slow. Weaver thought maybe she was having second thoughts. Weaver sits down next to her and says that she knows that it’s a difficult decision, then starts to say that the surgery doesn’t … when Barks interrupts and despondently says that she’s tired of losing things. She says that she’s lost her husband, her house, the city she grew up in, saying that the “damn storm took it all”. Weaver states rather than ask “You’re from New Orleans”. Barks asks her sarcastically if she couldn’t tell from her bright smile and stunning glow. Weaver questions if that’s how she got injured. In a broken voice, Barks explains that everybody begged them to leave, but they thought it would pass over like all the others. When it finally hit, she and her husband went up to the attic and broke through the roof. Barks says that a boat finally got them and took them to the 610 overpass, which is when she realized that her foot was cut and that something in the flood waters must have hit it. Weaver sadly takes all this in, both sympathetic to and appalled by Barks’ plight. She tells Barks that the surgery is scary, but that she doesn’t have to die from this. Not looking at her, an overwhelmed and teary Barks says quietly “Too many tough choices … I’m afraid to make the wrong decision”. Weaver takes her hand and tells her “then let me help you make the right one”. The bus pulls up and Barks starts to stand to get on it. As she does, she falters and Weaver catches her. In serious pain and realizing that she just can’t make it, Barks waves the bus driver off and lets Weaver help her sit back down. Weaver asks her if she’ll trust her, but a resigned Barks guesses she doesn’t have a choice.

Luka and Abby are walking down the hall. She’s apparently been bitching at him, because he’s gritting his teeth and looking away from her as they walk, not wanting to be having this conversation. She complains to him that he never said it was Weaver, adding “You have to fight for her”. He snippily comes back at her that he did, but sometimes he has to make tough decisions. Abby’s having none of it and wants to know why he didn’t tell her. Luka says curtly “It’s not your concern”. Ooh. That was a little harsh, Luka. And a bit of revisionist history, considering you were the one who was talking to her about having to cut an Attending in Tell Me No Secrets. So, it may not be any of Abby’s business, but you brought it up the budget discussion with her in the first place, you just neglected to tell her it was Weaver. Probably because you knew how she would react. She’s friends with Weaver – who even asked Abby to be guardian to her kid if anything happened during her hip surgery in Out on a Limb – so you knew she wouldn’t be happy about it. I do understand that as a manager, you have to make unpopular choices and by all rights, Weaver should be told before anyone else … but … you did have the conversation with Abby about the cuts you had to make, so obviously you wanted her input. I kind of can’t blame her for being a little pissed, but I also can’t really fault Luka for not wanting to talk about it until he had talked to Weaver. I do think he was a bit severe with what he just said to Abby, though. Evidently, so does she, as she mutters bitterly, “That is like your mantra lately”. He wants to know what that’s supposed to mean, but she blows it off with a “never mind”. Abby protests in a tone that says “duh, Luka” that Weaver is one of the best doctors on the floor. Luka stops walking when they get to the Curtain Area, turns to face her and insists that he knows that, but counters that Weaver’s also one of the most expensive. Luka kind of condescendingly but firmly tells her “Look, this is the job and I don’t like it any more than you do”, and Abby looks away, frustrated. Then Luka lets her know that the discussion is over by starting to hand her a chart for an elderly patient with shingles. Abby snatches it out of his hand and storms off before he can finish, leaving him to stand there, with his hand still in the air, knowing that bad hair days are inevitable, and that Christmas is really over and the antlers are going back in storage …

Luka pulls back the curtain he’s standing by to reveal Mummenschanz, or a really bad mime facsimile thereof … He’s moving his arm around in some sort of weird wave motion and touches Deej, who get’s all up with the attitude and throws his hand off yelling “Stop it, you freak!” I’m with you on that one, Deej. Why couldn’t they get the Blue Man Group, at least they’re freaky and funny … Does anyone actually like mimes? Besides my seven-year-olds, that is, who just took a class in clowning at a local theatre last week and have been pretending to be in boxes ever since. Ugh … “No, no, you’re not doing it right, Mommy … You’ve really got to 'be' the wall …” Oh, yeah? Well, mimes are supposed to be silent … little freaks … McEgo tells Luka that Mummenschanz got punched by a passerby and fell on his tailbone. I know I shouldn’t, but … Hee … When McEgo doesn’t continue, Luka looks at him expectantly and questions “Okay …?” in a “Yeah, so …?” tone. McEgo fills in that the plan is analgesics, donut pillow and discharge him. Mummenschanz, like my twins, breaks the mime code and asks “What about x-rays?” and bitches that he has to file for a disability claim. Deej channels me and calls him on the speaking, admonishing him because he’s not supposed to talk. Luka tells McEgo to go ahead and order the films. Haleh walks by and McEgo asks if he can get a Percoset, and she says flippantly “Yeah, but you may need to be patient”, and keeps walking.

Sunshine hangs up the phone and tells Ray that the GI lab can take Edgar at 4. Ray asks for a repeat CBC. Haleh comes in and asks Sunshine if he’s got the keys to the drug lockup. Sunshine hands them to her, saying that it’s his bad and he meant to leave them on the Admit Desk. What’s up with that? Is Sunshine a druggie or something? With her family’s penchant for the illegal hallucinogens, no wonder Sam’s all over him … Sunshine jumps back as Edgar spits up blood. Yuck. Monitors start beeping as Edgar starts to crash. They lay him down and Ray starts barking orders, then asks someone to go get Pratt. Sunshine tells him that Edgar’s going to need a second line and Ray calls for an intubation tray.

In an Exam Room with Barks, Weaver tells her that Dawn’s from New Orleans, too. Barks asks her where and Dawn says by the Florida Canal and that she used to work at Charity and Barks says she’s from over near Jackson Barracks, adding that she was born at Charity. Dubenko, who’s standing at the foot of the bed, points to the papers Barks has and tells her that she needs to sign on another line, too. Weaver wants to know if Barks has been back to New Orleans, but Barks says that she’s not ready as she hands the clipboard to Dubenko. She asks him if he’s sure she needs this and he assures her that she does because the infection is deep into the bone of the second and third toe and removing them is the only way to prevent spread. Weaver has her hand on Barks’ shoulder, comfortingly. Barks asks Dubenko how long he’s been a surgeon and he says almost 15 years. Weaver tells her that Dubenko is one of their best. A nervous Barks wants to know how many surgeries he’s done. Dubenko smirks at this questioning and answers “10,000”. Barks keeps grilling him and asks how many toes he’s done. He smiles and tells her that he’s done a lot of toes as Weaver chimes in that “He’s good”. Barks keeps going and asks if he’s been working all night. Dubenko replies “I beg your pardon?” She thinks he seems a little tired. Hee. He reassures her that he’s fine, he slept in his own bed last night. As opposed to where, Lucien? We know that Abby apparently doesn’t like to give to charity since she pretty much turned you down flat with your prostate-cancer-inspired-indecent-proposal for one last hurrah, or for post-op checking of equipment function, for purely “scientific purposes” of course, last year. And your geeky glasses gift to Neela for Christmas apparently didn’t have any effect since her brain has been overtaken by mutation of the Egola virus because she’s still getting on the habitral with McEgo’s McRoadkill. So, unless you’re still paying the Satisfaction Facilitator, I’m not at all surprised that you’re sleeping in your own bed. I guess you were just trying to let Barks know that you weren’t working last night, but that was really a weird way of putting it. Dubenko reassures her that she has nothing to worry about. Barks wants to know if she can have one of those mirrors so she can watch her operation. Yuck. Really don’t think I’d be wanting to watch them removing some of my body parts, especially ones that would mark the end of my Birkenstock-wearing days. Shudders. Dubenko tells her that she’ll be asleep. Barks is confused because Weaver told her she didn’t have to be put under. Dubenko’s all “Oh, really?” as Weaver tells Barks to give them a second and leads Dubenko away.

Out in the hallway, Dubenko questions why Weaver would tell Barks that she could be awake. Weaver informs him that Barks barely agreed to the surgery and asks him to just give her an epidural. Dubenko protests that it’s better with general anesthesia. Weaver explains that Barks is afraid of the dark and that she’s a Katrina victim. Dubenko says that he sympathizes, but that an epidural can drop her blood pressure. Weaver doesn’t think that general anesthesia is risk-free either, but Dubenko claims that it’s more efficient. Weaver goes all Weaver on him saying “Cut the crap, Lucien. You don’t want her awake because you don’t want to answer a bunch of questions. Dubenko doesn’t say anything because it’s obvious that’s exactly why. Weaver makes a deal with him that she’ll go up with Barks and handle her, assuring him that Barks won’t get in his way, and Dubenko agrees. Weaver heads back in to tell Barks the news.

Ray is bagging Edgar as Busy hangs another unit. Ray tells her to hang a third and tells Sunshine to call for a vent, but he already has. Pratt comes in and asks Ray what’s going on as Sunshine says that someone needs to get Mrs. Edgar in there. Ray tells Pratt that it’s an upper GI bleed with a systolic of 60. Pratt wants to know if Edgar’s had ulcers before but Busy tells him that they couldn’t get a good history. Pratt looks at Edgar and says that he thinks he knows him and asks if Edgar was in there last week. Ray says that it’s his first time at County. Pratt wants to know how long he’s been there as the drums of Doom and Gloom bang. Sunshine says about an hour and a half and Pratt bitches “And he’s just getting a second IV?” Busy protests that Edgar was stable but Pratt tells her that no GI bleed is stable and thinks Edgar needed aggressive therapy and wants to know why there wasn’t an Attending involved. Ray says that he and Abby both agreed … but Pratt cuts him off, reminding him that they are both Residents. Pratt orders Busy to get Abby in there right now and tells Sunshine to call the blood bank to stay ahead four units and get FFP. Sunshine says that he’ll fire up the rapid infuser as Pratt shakes his head at Ray, saying that they should have anticipated this.

Dubenko is wheeling Barksdale to the elevator and she asks him how long the surgery will take. He says about two hours. Haleh asks Weaver to come sign out Marshmallow Girl, so she can get out of there. I guess she’s gotta stay puft for her Marshmallow Man and mini marshmallows. Weaver tells Dubenko that she’ll be up in a minute and he says in a warning tone “I know you will, Kerry”. As they walk down the hall, Dawn asks Weaver what Dubenko’s problem is and Weaver dismisses it that he’s a “control freak”. Weaver asks Dawn if she’s okay and Dawn admits that it’s kind of hard seeing people from back home. Weaver asks if her whole family came up and Dawn says that her aunt let eight of them move in. Wow. Weaver thinks that must be hard and Dawn tells her that some of them moved back to make sure their houses weren’t seized, and the rest never want to go back, giving Weaver a knowing look. They look over at Morris when they hear him bitching at someone on the phone about not having ordered two iBooks and wanting to know where they were shipped. Dawn rolls her eyes, then looks at Weaver and touches her hand, like she’s thanking her for having asked. Weaver squeezes her hand back before Dawn walks away as Morris complains that “I don’t even live there!” Weaver asks Sam if he’s still trying to work out his credit problem as Usher interjects that his “took years”. Standing with Gaudy, he tells her to “go ahead” and she continues “reading” his palm, telling him that he’s going to live a long time. Usher says that his family lives well into their nineties and wants her to look again and tell him something he doesn’t know. Gaudy tells him that he’s going to be very wealthy, and Usher “That’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout” ‘s her. Sam is watching all this, not pleased. Luka comes up and tells her that Curtain Three needs bilateral ultrasounds to rule out DVT as he touches her shoulder before walking off. Ooh, best not be touching your ex when Abby can see you, Luka. Even though after your earlier disagreement she’s probably not going to be giving you deep conditioning treatments for a while, I still don’t think she’d be taking too kindly to you booking appointments at another Salon … Bitch … And have you taken a good look at Sam’s hair? I’m thinking you’re really much better waiting for an opening with your current Stylist … Bitch … Sam tells Gaudy to come with her and Gaudy winks flirtingly at Usher before following her. Usher calls after her and asks if he’s going to have good luck. Gaudy winks at him again and says facetiously “We’ll see”. She blows him a kiss and winks again. That’s an awful lot of winking. Maybe she has astigmatism … Or it could just be an uncontrollable urge, like my Tourettes-like compulsion to “Bitch” Abby whenever she’s even mentioned around The Pretty, let alone, God forbid, in physical proximity to him … Bitch … As Sam practically drags her away, Gaudy tells Usher to call her at eight. He chuckles to himself saying “I love that woman”. You know, this season is starting to piss me off. First I’m ickily subjected to more than one scene of shirtless McEgo mutating the Egola virus with Neela, now we may be treated to Usher’s freaky fossilized floozy fornication, yet I haven’t seen me naked Luka in over a year??? That shit is so not right, ER …

Sam and Gaudy enter the breakroom, with Sam complaining that Usher isn’t even Gaudy’s type. Gaudy tells her “Well, you know what they say … ‘Once you go black’ …” Oh no she di’int! Nice, Gaudy. Unless Usher’s all into homegrown hemp harvesting, flaunting flashy fashions, and thinks you’re some kind of glaringly glitzy grey-haired gilf, I’m thinking you should take something for your Jungle Fever, Gaudy. Sam’s all mock shocked. Yeah right, Sam. Like you weren’t just all warm for Pratt’s form during the Shag, Shoot or Marry game a few episodes back. Hussy hypocrite. Gaudy wants to know if Sam’s still living in the same place and Sam says that they were living at this house where she was working part-time, but that it “wasn’t the best environment” for Splinter. Say what, Sam? I know you couldn’t possibly understand a damn word that came out of Mambo Mumbler’s mouth, but that’s a small price to pay for a built-in movie theatre. Gaudy wants to know if Splinter is still making sap … I mean, “playing soccer”. Sam says he is and that he’s the best left branch … I mean, “wing” … on the team. Gaudy wants to know what grade of syrup he makes … I mean, what his grades are … and Sam says that he attracts bird and bees … I mean, gets “A’s & B’s”. Sam thinks that Splinter is doing shading … I mean, “amazing”. Gaudy thinks that’s great and is all proud of both of them. Sam looks really happy to hear that and tells Gaudy that it means a lot to her. Morris enters and asks Sam pointedly, “How’s my x-Box 360?” Uh oh. Sam wants to know what he’s talking about and Morris explains that her little “klepto” of a son is now a fungus … I mean, “felon”. Morris tells her that Splinter stole his credit card number and has been having stuff sent to her house. Sam asks if he’s kidding and Morris asks if he looks like the “Last Comic Standing”. He bets the necklace she has on is probably his, too. Sam fingers it sadly, realizing that Splinter’s newly sprouted wealth was too good to be true because apparently money actually doesn’t grow on trees …

Sunshine tells Pratt that an amp of epi is in, but Pratt thinks Edgar need volume, not epi. Mrs. Edgar comes in and rushes over, asking what’s wrong with Edgar. Ray says there’ve been six units in so far and Busy notices it’s getting harder to bag. Mrs. Edgar says that she just went to the cafeteria because she was told that Edgar was fine. Pratt says that he has pulmonary edema from the transfusions as Abby comes in, asking what’s going on and says that Edgar was stable when she saw him. Busy asks if Edgar has a doctor but Mrs. Edgar says he doesn’t have a regular one. Pratt’s pissed and asks Ray and Abby if there’s any past history or if he’s on any meds. Abby, who’s doing compressions, says that Edgar is on renuvium and that Mrs. Edgar had called home and her son read the name off the bottle. Pratt wants to know where the hell would he get renuvium and Abby says from some church clinic on the South Side. Uh oh. Busy asks “What church?” and Mrs. Edgar tells her First Mission Baptist as Busy and Pratt exchange “Oh shit” looks. Ray wants to know if they have a doctor there and Mrs. Edgar cries that she doesn’t know, she wasn’t with him, as Pratt looks stricken, realizing what all this means.

Pratt’s doing compressions now as Sunshine says that units 11 & 12 are running and Ray orders 3 of FFP. Abby tells them to “run the platelets through here” as Busy asks if they should try more volume. Pratt thinks maybe GI can scope Edgar, but Ray says not without a pulse or BP. Pratt stops compressions and asks what the rhythm is as the monitor beeps and Sunshine says “asystole”. Mrs. Edgar’s crying and praying for Edgar to be okay. Yeah, I’ll bet Pratt is, too, Mrs. Edgar. Pratt calls for another four units and to push another epi. Abby just looks at him and says that Edgar’s already had five rounds of meds. Busy asks Pratt if they should try an intra-aortic balloon, but Abby tells her that it’s too late for that, then looks at Pratt like “what are you doing?” A frantic Pratt calls for a second hemocue, PT PTP and then see where they are as Abby walks around the table to stand next to him. She tells him that it’s time to stop, but he says “no” and keeps compressing the chest. Mrs. Edgar cries for them not to stop. Pratt tells Abby that this is a reversible condition but Abby thinks “Not anymore”. Pratt still won’t stop. Abby looks over at Ray then back at Pratt and tells him that it’s been 42 minutes and they’re not going to get him back. Ray’s pornstache and Don Quixote-esque soul patch tell Pratt that he knows Abby’s right. Pratt keeps doing CPR and Busy keeps bagging saying that nobody’s called it yet. Abby looks back and forth between them with a “C’mon now” look. Mrs. Edgar pleads with them to keep going. Busy looks to Pratt, who turns to look at Abby. Her expression says “You know it’s time to give it up”. A dejected Pratt finally stops. Abby turns and looks at the clock as she calls, “Time of death, 16:48”. Mrs. Edgar starts wailing, as Pratt rubs his hand over his face like “What the hell did I do?”

In the Operating Theatre, an anxious Barks asks a surgically garbed and masked Weaver if she’ll feel anything, but Weaver assures her that she won’t with the spinal. Obnoxious anesthesiologist with the yin/yang cap is back and chimes in “Especially since it’s me who placed it” and winks at Weaver. Ugh. OR Shirley asks if they want pulse levage and Dubenko says he wants three liters and tells her to mix it all in one bag. Neela, who’s assisting, tells Barks that she was in New Orleans once and became addicted to what at first I thought was “Ben-Gay” in which case I have to wonder just what Neela was doing when she was in New Orleans … but then I realized she that she probably said “beignets”, which are those totally awesome donut things that I am so with her on the addiction for … Barks says that the Café DuMonde is her favorite spot. Barks wants to know where Neela’s from and she answers “London”, and Barks says that she spent a year in college there. Dubenko tells OR Shirley to set up the saw, and Weaver tells Barks that they’re prepping to get rid of the diseased bone. OR Shirley asks Dubenko if he’s still planning on scrubbing in on the robotic prostatectomy next door. Dubenko says he certainly is as soon as they finish here. Dubenko tells Weaver she needs to check out this new machine that’s unbelievable and ensures perfect nerve-sparing technology, adding “All for the low, low price of $1.5 million”. Uh oh. Weaver’s head comes up at this and she stares at him a second before asking “The Budget Committee approved that?” Dubenko says they did and that “they finally cut us a break this year”. Damn. Weaver takes this in that she really was replaced by a machine. Dubenko talks Neela through the procedure. Weaver’s lost in thought a moment and a scared Barks looks over at her and asks her what they’re talking about. Weaver explains that right now they’re protecting the nerves and arteries. OR Shirley calls out that the BP is 80 systolic as monitors start beeping. As tears roll down her face, Barks asks what’s happening. Dubenko calls for one liter saline bolus and for them to lower Barks’ head. Weaver asks Yin/Yang if this is a result of the spinal but he doesn’t think so and says that the BP dropped after the antibiotic was administered. Weaver asks Dubenko “Anaphylaxis?” and he thinks it could be an allergy to penicillin. Weaver looks at the monitors and says that the sats are dropping, 88%.

Pratt and Busy stand in the Trauma Hallway, looking like they’re in shock. She asks him what they do. Pratt says that he must have seen 300-400 patients that day in church, and beats himself up that he didn’t remember Edgar. Busy asks if this is their fault. Well, duh, Busy. Have you never watched this show? The only one who ever seems to get away with stuff is Abby, and since she’s not involved, you’re pretty much screwed. Busy asks if this couldn’t have happened if Edgar had gotten the drug through a regular prescription, but Pratt doesn’t know. He paces a little bit and rubs his hand over his face again, trying to figure out what to do. He makes a decision as he looks in the Trauma Room window at Mrs. Edgar and tells Busy that he has to go talk to her. Busy asks if he’s going to tell her that they’re the ones from the church, but Pratt’s determined now and tells her that he’s not going to bring her into it. He says that he’s going to let Mrs. Edgar know that he was the one running the clinic, then heads inside. Busy watches as Pratt approaches Mrs. Edgar, who’s still at Edgar’s side.

OR Shirley removes Barks nose cannula and Weaver tells her that they’re going to sedate her and place a tube to help her breathe. Barks doesn’t want to go under but Weaver tells her that she’s not getting enough oxygen. Barks starts crying “Before they left me under the bridge … I woke up in the dark …”, as Weaver places the ambu-bag over her face and starts pumping it. OR Shirley says that the sats only 81. Weaver hands her the bag, and turns to the equipment cart next to her. Dubenko wants to know what she’s doing and Weaver says that she’s giving IV epinephrine because Barks is analphylaxic. Neela says that she can hear Barks’ wheezing from where she is. Dubenko says “Ari can manage an airway” but Weaver says that Barks’ hypoxia is worsening and she needs this. OR Shirley says that Barks is getting hard to bag. Dubenko says that they only give IV epi for a full arrest. Weaver tells him “Well, then, you’re about to learn something new”. Hee. You go, Weaver. Dubenko’s annoyed and asks “Are you kidding me???” Yin/Yang tells Weaver to stop, but she injects the epi into the IV saying that she’s pushing 2 cc’s and that it will buy some time to do a controlled intubation. Dubenko bitches that “With all due respect, this is my OR”. Weaver’s had it and comes back at him “I don’t care about your OR … I lost my job to pay for your robot”. A stunned Dubenko doesn’t know what to say to that. Weaver, her focus on Barks, adds “I care about this patient”. OR Shirley says that Barks’ heart rate is coming down and she’s getting easier to bag. Weaver says that sats are up to 95 and tells Yin/Yang to “go for it”. Neela says that it worked, but Dubenko thinks Weaver just got lucky. Neela tells him that none of what they’re seeing in Barks’ foot looks like healthy tissue. Dubenko tells her she’s right and says that Barks needs a below knee amputation. Yikes. Oh, I am so sorry, Barks. So is Weaver, who’s getting visibly upset and tells him that she promised Barks that she wouldn’t lose the foot and that the MRI was fine. Neela tells her that the MRI was three weeks old and Dubenko says that it’s apparently progressed. Dubenko starts preparing to amputate and Weaver protests for him to just take the toes and give Barks six weeks of antibiotics. Dubenko comes back that Barks is diabetic with vascular disease and would never heal. Weaver looks sad, realizing that he’s right as he calls for the Zimmer saw.

Sitting at Admit eating pizza, Usher is telling Gaudy how much he loves Italian food and about some place he went to when he was in Venice that had the best fettuccine. Gaudy, still all with the winking, flirtingly tells him “There’s no gnocchi like my gnocchi”. Maybe the uncontrollable winking is blepharospasm, in which case you should be all over the preferred treatment, Gaudy, because it’s Botox injections. Maybe Sam’s inherited the condition, too, and can use it as an excuse to get rid of the perma-scowl line that’s tattooed on her forehead. McEgo is looking at charts and Deej asks him if they can go to the movies on Saturday, and that there’s a really cool space movie that’s supposed to be good for adults, too. Well, that rules McInfantile out then, Deej. McEgo says he’ll have to see if he’s working and Morris comes up behind him and says that he just made the schedule and he’s not. Why is Morris making the schedule? He’s not Chief Resident anymore. Luka’s the ER Chief so wouldn’t it be his responsibility? I’d think he’d have plenty of time for administrative responsibilities now that it looks like the Salon’s going to be shut down for a while. Deej is all smiles and tells McEgo “Cool … then it’s a date”.

Door buzzes and Splinter enters the ER. He’s got on the uniform-y looking shirt and tie combo, so is he still going to the fancy schmancy school on the Mumbler’s dime even if they don’t live in Mambo Mansion anymore? Splinter is still sporting that horrible ’80’s hairdo that looks straight out of the Michael Landon Pathetic Prairie Pageboy pamphlet. . You know, maybe he and Deej should get together, considering she’s wearing the Laura Ingalls Meets Pippi Longstocking pigtails. Splinter spots Gaudy at Admit and actually becomes a little animated. Maybe he wished upon a star … Gaudy’s happy to see him and commences with the tree hugging. Morris spots Splinter and rushes over to him angrily saying “C’mere you little Artful Dodger”. Oh, Morris, you’re a bit late on that one -- Frodo and his fellow hobbits already did that musical in Reason to Believe and its sequel City of Mercy. But I don’t think the part of Jiminy Cricket for this week has been filled yet, though considering you’re a little pissed about money right now, maybe you should be Stromboli Sam asks Splinter what the hell is going on. Splinter acts like he doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Sam puts her hand up to Morris’ chest, holding him back with a “let me take care of this” gesture. Sam wants to know if Splinter stole from Morris. Splinter’s nose starts growing as he says “no” and asks “Why?” Morris confronts him and wants to know where he got his x-Box. Splinter’s nose sprouts leaves as he stammers a bit before saying that the Mambo Mumbler bought it for him. Sam asks if Mambo bought her necklace, too. A bird’s nest appears on Splinter’s nose as he claims that he bought Sam her necklace. Not wanting to wait around for the woodpecker to appear, Gaudy takes up logging and treehandles Splinter over to triage, or “tree-age” as the case may be ... She sits in front of him and tells him not to give her any attitude. Gaudy thinks that if this were twenty years ago, she could “knock him back to China” and not have the Forest Service … I mean, “Social Services” … on her, But since it’s not, she’s going to ask him only once “Did you steal Dr. Morris’ credit card? Yes or No?” Sam tries to stop her with “Gracie, just …” as Splinter starts hemmin’ and hawin’. Gaudy tells him not to stutter, grabs his face forcefully and makes him look her in the eye. Already throwing the “one time only” out the window, she asks him again if he stole Morris’ credit card. They all stare him down before Splinter finally admits it, saying “I’m sorry … okay?” Sam just closes her eyes all disappointed like “damn, guess he is going into the family business”. Gaudy makes Splinter apologize to Morris. Morris, all vindicated and magnanimous, tells him “Well, alright … we’ll figure it out” and that Splinter can start paying him back in installments. Sam wants to know why Splinter would do that, but he just stares back her and shakes his head like “don’t you be talking to me about breaking the law, bitch”, and walks away. Sam moves to go after him, but Gaudy stops her and reminds her that she’s working, then says that she’ll go get him.

Abby and more random male paramedics are bringing in a guy on a gurney, with a chick walking beside it like some kind of groupie. She calls over to Luka, who joins the entourage. Luka walks along with them, writing on a chart and not looking at Abby. Abby says the gurney guy is Nelson Wilcox, and he’s got vomiting and abdominal pain, and that he’s hypotensive after a liter. Abby calls back to Sam and says that they need her. As Sam follows, she tells Morris in an apologetic tone that she doesn’t even know what to say. Morris calls back to her “Wait … what about my necklace?” Luka asks Abby for the vitals and she says that it’s 92/58, pulse is 97. Luka, who’s stopped writing on the chart, introduces himself and asks Nelson where it hurts. In pain and barely getting the words out, Nelson moans “my stomach”. Gurney Groupie says that they were getting fitted for snowboard boots and Nelson started getting queasy. Luka calls for them to get him on a monitor and start a second line. Gurney Groupie says that Nelson has chronic pancreatitis from gallstones and that he’s supposed to have surgery next month.

In Trauma Green, Abby calls for a CBC, chem. 7, LFT’s, lipase and calcium. Gurney Groupie says that Nelson’s been feeling good so they planned a trip to the Rockies. To go snowboarding? A month before gallstone surgery? Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Morons. Nelson asks Gurney Groupie to call his dad. Gurney Groupie keeps blathering like they’re actually paying attention to her that Nelson turns 40 in February and that they have 15 people coming. Abby signs the orders chart and hands it to a no-name nurse. Not looking at her, Luka reminds her to not forget a BG to test for hypoglycemia. Abby winces, shaking her head at herself for not remembering that, then shoots a look at Luka before adding the order to the chart. Oh, yeah, you are so screwed, Luka. Or I guess not screwed, as the case may be … Bitch … Gurney Groupie asks if Nelson is going to be alright. Sam says that the sat’s down to 78. Abby calls for another liter wide open. Listening to Nelson’s chest, Luka tells her to hold on because all lines are wet, and Nelson is either in failure or he’s third spacing. Abby says snippily that either way Nelson is hypotensive and needs volume. As she checks Nelson’s eyes she asks Luka if he wants to try albulin, 25%. Luka curtly tells her that won’t work. Leaning in to get a good look at Nelson’s eyes, Abby mutters caustically “I’ve seen Weaver do it”. Ooh. Snap. As she stands up, Luka looks over at her and she holds his look pointedly while Sam tells them that Nelson’s IV is blown and his veins “are crap”. Still looking challengingly at Luka, Abby calls “Alright, sterile sixes and cordis to me” as she finally looks away, saying that she’s going to throw in a subclavian. Gritting his teeth, Luka keeps glancing at Abby as she starts putting on sterile gloves and Gurney Groupie complains that Nelson ate a huge plate of waffles yesterday and that she had told him not to. Oh, quit the tattlin’, Gurney Groupie. Can’t you tell that nobody really cares what Nelson had for breakfast or if he likes his Rutti Tutti Fresh & Fruity every once in a while … Luka says that the abdomen’s tense. Considering the looks you and Abby have been shooting each other, Luka, I think Nelson’s gut ain’t the only thing that’s “tense” in this room. Sam says that she’ll get the ultrasound and call for Surgery. Abby tells her to wait and says that they don’t even know what they’re dealing with yet. Luka says cuttingly that he thinks they have a pretty good idea and Abby comes back at him that even if it is acute pancreatitis, first line care is supportive management, not surgery. Luka tells her in a tone that says he expects no argument “They need to be involved”. Abby purses her lips disagreeably, but doesn’t say anything as she puts in the subclavian. She says that she’s got a flash and Sam calls out that the sat’s dropping, 82. Luka rubs Nelson’s sternum “Mr. Wilcox?”, trying to get him to respond. When Nelson doesn’t, Luka rubs harder and says louder “Mr. Wilcox?!?”, while glaring over at Abby. Normally nostril-flaring Luka is hot, but this little pissing contest between Abby and him in the middle of a trauma is really not attractive in the least.

A defeated-looking Pratt exits Trauma Yellow, where Mrs. Edgar is still weeping by Edgar’s bedside. Busy’s waiting for him in the hall. As they walk, she asks him if he told Mrs. Edgar that he was the doctor at the church. He adds that he also told her that he prescribed the renuvium. Busy asks if Mrs. Edgar’s okay with that. Oh yeah, Busy, I’m sure she’s sooo okay with Pratt killing her husband. Idiot. Pratt says that Mrs. Edgar understands that it was a mistake, and she’s trying to digest what’s happened. Busy thinks Pratt has to talk to Pastor Watkins and Pratt responds “Hell yeah” and that they’re shutting it down.

Big, burly Heavy D-looking security guard at the Security Desk is bitching at Trixie that he can’t leave is post and she’s going to have to page McEgo from the desk. Trixie asks him to “c’mon” and that there are like fifty people over there. He starts to tell her that he doesn’t care when McEgo and Deej come through the doors. He tells Heavy that it’s okay and leads Trixie into the ER. She laughs that this place is like Fort Knox and McEgo tells her that he didn’t know she was coming down here. Giggling weirdly, Trixie says that she was in the neighborhood and wanted to see how Deej was doing. She asks Deej if she’s having fun, and Deej starts telling her about the day. Trixie’s looking all around the ER, not paying any attention to what Deej is saying. McEgo watches her, knowingly, as Trixie says “Cool, babe” distractedly, obviously on something. Still looking around, Trixie’s all “so this is where you work”, as McEgo doesn’t take his eyes off her. Deej asks if she wants to see the Trauma Rooms. Trixie asks McEgo if his “little girlfriend” is there. Oh, you mean the whore, Trixie? McEgo says “Meg” warningly, as she gets pissy and asks “Or is she out buying IKEA furniture?” Hey, don’t be dissin’, IKEA there, Trixie. I love me some Swedish meatballs and lingonberry sauce at their snack bar … McEgo tells her that they’re not going to do this right now, but Trixie thinks this is the perfect time. Deej tries to defuse the situation by wanting to show Trixie the breakroom but Trixie thinks McEgo has to clear a few things up. McEgo tells her she’s drunk. Trixie snaps at him “You were going to walk out … and move in with that little bitch?” Don’t you mean “little whore”, Trixie? Try and keep up here … Neela’s the Whore and Abby’s the Bitch, okay? Just saying. Trixie starts going off that he’s a liar and tells Deej that he’s done nothing but lie to them as we hear the elevator ding behind them. McEgo looks over to see Neela getting off the elevator. Uh oh. This should be good … Neela just walks past them. Trixie spots her and says “Well, speak of The Bitch” and strides after her yelling “Don’t walk away from me!” McEgo tries to stop her, but Trixie tells Neela that she needs to hear this. Neela doesn’t think she does. Deej implores Trixie to stop, but Trixie’s on a roll as she tells Neela loudly so that everyone can hear, “I did everything for him … I straightened him out when he was a mess, when he was just a useless vet”. McEgo was a vet? Shouldn’t he know better than to put rabid roadkill on his face then? Oh, she means a vet as in “veteran”. McEgo tries to force her away, out of everyone’s view. Trixie cries hysterically, shouting over his shoulder “I used my husband’s insurance money to put him through medical school!” … Oh, wow … I knew McEgo was a McAsshole, but I never realized the depths of his McScumbag-edness … Damn … That is just the lowest of the low … And, jeez, how pathetic do they have to make Trixie look? … And does McDouchebag have ANY redeeming qualities whatsoever? If so, I sure haven’t seen them … McEgo keeps dragging Trixie away as she yells at Neela, who just stares at her, “You don’t get to have him! Do you hear me? You don’t get to take him away from us!” Seriously, Neela, listen to her. How can you possibly really want him??? Ugh. You’ve totally gone from Mrs. Plank to mindless skank this season.

An annoyed Weaver strides off the elevator asking Haleh where Luka is. Haleh tells her he’s in Trauma Two and watches with an “Uh oh, he’s in for it” look as Weaver stalks off. Luka’s moved to the foot of Nelson’s bed and tells Abby, who’s at the monitors to increase the Peep. As the camera starts to circle around the bed, she refuses, saying “I can’t, I’ll give him a pneumo”. Monitors are beeping and Luka says “PVC’s” and calls for a 100 of lido. Getting more and more upset, Gurney Groupie keeps asking if Nelson’s okay. Kind of pushing her out the way so she can listen to Nelson’s chest, Abby tells her that his oxygen is low and it’s causing his heart to beat in an abnormal rhythm. The camera thankfully stops circling, and effectively ending my bedspins. Thanks, ER Cameraman. Camera comes to rest showing us the action from the head of Nelson’s bed. Sam calls out that the pulse ox is 78 as Weaver bursts in through the doors. She starts bitching “Luka! Surgery orders some million dollar toy …”, but he tries to cuts her off with “Not right now, Kerry”. She keeps going “ … and I’m too expensive? We need to talk”. Abby calls out “V-tach” and Luka says they’ve lost the pulse and starts compressions. Sam charges up the defibrillator to 200 as Weaver asks “Whatd’ya got?” In a rushed, almost but not quite panicky tone, Luka tells her that it’s acute pancreatitis, hypotensive despite six liters. Gurney Groupie asks what’s happening. Luka yells “clear” and goes to shock Nelson as Abby tells Gurney Groupie to get back. Gurney Groupie, getting even more annoying, if that’s possible, starts crying “Will somebody talk to me???” It’s all about you, isn’t it, Gurney Groupie? As she bags, Abby gently tells Gurney Groupie that Nelson’s in cardiac arrest and that she’s going to have to stand back. Pulling on gloves, Weaver moves closer to the table, asking if Nelson is bleeding from somewhere, but Sam says that the crit is stable. Weaver wants to know if Surgery’s been there. Continuing compressions, Luka says that they just went to observe in the ICU. Weaver orders “Well, get them back in” and starts calling for some instruments. A frustrated Luka tells her that the guy’s in arrest and they “don’t have time for that”. Abby asks Weaver what she’s doing. Weaver tells her that she’s checking for “abdominal compartment syndrome”. Sounding annoyed that Weaver is busting in on this trauma, Luka tells her that Nelson has a “fatal” arrhythmia and they should focus on the heart. Weaver thinks Nelson’s BP sucks because the abdominal pressure is crushing the vena cava as she sticks a needle into Nelson’s stomach. Abby’s watching Weaver with interest. Weaver says that they can’t ventilate because Nelson’s belly is compressing his lungs. Weaver tells Luka to hold compressions as she attaches some tubing to the needle. He stops and Sam puts some gauge thing on the tube. When she twists the knob, fluid starts rising up the gauge. Sam reads it and says “42 centimeters”. Weaver says that’s more than enough to cause end-organ damage. She pulls the needle out and tells Luka to resume compressions. Abby glances over at Luka before she starts bagging again as Weaver calls for a ten blade. Weaver asks Gurney Groupie what her name is – which of course is to show us that Weaver gives a damn about her feelings, unlike Abby and Luka, who are just selfish and unfeeling, naturally. Gurney Groupie, in a tone that says she appreciates being asked, supplies that her name is Marnie, but really, I don’t care about that anymore than Abby and Luka do, so I’m just going to keep calling her Gurney Groupie. Weaver tells her that Nelson’s pancreatitis is causing swelling of all the abdominal organs. Gurnery Groupie looks over at Luka, because, really, how could she possibly help but look at him? He calls for another 50 of lido and Sam pushes it. Weaver angrily tells Luka that Nelson doesn’t need it, and that he doesn’t need cardiac meds, he needs to be decompressed. Luka just eyes her skeptically. He keeps up the compressions, as Abby looks back and forth between them. Weaver tells him, “Luka … you know I’m right”. Damn, they are really going out of their way to make Luka look bad this ep, aren’t they? And I don’t mean physically bad, because, I mean, let’s face it, he is Luka after all, so that would be an exercise in futility as it really is quite impossible, but Head of the ER/Attending Doctor bad, with everybody, including his live-in Hairdresser … Bitch … questioning everything he does. Luka just looks at Weaver, acquiescing slightly with his eyes, and she cuts open Nelson’s belly. Gurney Groupie gasps and Weaver glances over at her before telling Sam “pick-ups … two sets”. Abby continues to watch Weaver, and shoot quick looks over at Luka. Looking just like when those giant egg pod things push open in the Alien movies, Weaver pries apart the sides of Nelson’s stomach. Yuck. She says “retract superficial layers” and glances up at Luka, who tells her in a “do what you want, but I’m not helping you” tone, “I’m doing CPR”. Weaver gives him a challenging look and says levelly, “He won’t need it after this”. Not too happy about it, Luka purses his lips, holds compressions, and grabs the retractor. Chewing on the inside of her mouth, Abby gazes at Luka for a second, before watching him retract to show us Nelson’s innards. An annoyed Luka huffs and slams down the retractor in favor of using his hands. Now, normally you know I am all over Luka using his hands, and get quite excited at the idea of him laying his hands just about anywhere … just saying … but watching him pull apart Nelson’s abs like that is making me revisit that taco I had for lunch, and not in a good way … Yuck … As Luka holds the sides back, Weaver splits open the stomach, which causes Nelson’s insides to practically erupt out of the open cavity with a tire-deflating type hissing noise. Seeing this, Abby’s eyes get wide and her eyebrows practically go to the back of her head with a “now that’s something you don’t see every day” expression. The monitors beep more rhythmically as Sam says “back in sinus with a pulse”, then sneaks a look at Luka, who appears a little chastened as he steps back, glances quickly at Abby, and pulls off his gloves. Abby just keeps looking at what Weaver’s done. Weaver calls for saline and sterile towels. With a self-satisfied smirk, Weaver looks at Luka and tells him that she still has a few tricks up her sleeve, then starts to leave. Looking like he’s just been spanked, and not in the good way that I would have done, Luka watches her leave. She throws him once last backwards glance before she exits.

Trixie’s crying in Sutures, telling McEgo that she can’t lose him. Ugh. Of course you can, Trixie. For the love of God, get a freakin’ spine, woman! Actually, get some Raid, some penicillin, call Animal Control, then get a spine. McEgo asks “This ain’t just the booze, is it?” Trixie wails that he can’t walk out on them – they’re his family. He bangs the instrument cart he’s leaning against, and whips around to face her, “Family!?!? Meg, what you did out there … you call that family??? I work here!” Trixie tells him that he’s been avoiding her and asks “What did you want me to do?” He responds “Move on”. I didn’t think it was possible, but Trixie gets even more pathetic, saying “You don’t love me anymore?” McEgo tells her “Not the way you want me to”. No, just in the “Gee, thanks for putting me through Med School, Trixie, but I’ve got a new bang buddy now, so just fuck off, okay?” way. McDick. And guess what? Trixie sinks even lower as she weeps “I’ll change!” Man, Trixie … now you really just need to be bitch-slapped. Sadly, I guess the fact is, the woman wanted him. And the fact that she couldn’t have him made her quite simply, insane … with what the great poets have called, Manimal Lust … McEgo thinks it’s not about that and tells her that she can’t change. She can’t believe he’d rather be with that “little bitch”. He points at her and tells her to knock it off. Oh, I would so break that finger off if I were you, Trixie. He says that Neela has nothing to do with it but Trixie thinks she has everything to do with it. McEgo moves closer to her, leans in and says that he’ll tell her one last time, he’s sorry, but it’s over. Because Trixie has a death wish, and a fur fetish, she strokes the roadkill and asks him “But you don’t care about Sarah?” He slaps her hand away and says that of course he does. Trixie means does he not want to see her anymore. McEgo says that he never said that. Trixie, no longer teary, stands up and tells him that’s what is gonna happen if he does this. Ooh, blackmail. Yeah, that’ll work, Trixie. McEgo asks if Trixie would hurt Deej just to get back at him. Trixie stares him down and tells him that he’s a damned liar. Trixie then becomes my new hero when she starts hitting him and yelling “Prick!” McEgo grabs her and slams her against the wall. Damn, McEgo. You really are a prick. Trixie was all just girlie slapping you, but manhandling her like that is just wrong, on so many levels. McWifeBeater. Trixie looks frightened as a berserk McJerk still has a forcible hold on her and gets in her face, telling her threateningly that there is nothing that she can do to keep him away from Deej. And to make the point even stronger, he pulls her forward, shaking her a little before slamming her again. Oh my God. He really is rabid … as he bears his teeth at her and asks again if she understands. Jeez … he just gets better and better, doesn’t he? I had thought for a while that they were going for this hybrid character that encompassed the absolute worst traits of both Carter and Doug Ross and somehow we’d find a heart buried somewhere under all the bullshit, but this crap is just waaaaaaaaaaaay over the top. Feel that chill? Obviously hell has frozen over because McEgo has actually succeeded in making me start to miss Carter … Shit …

Neela looks into the Ambulance Bay to find Deej sitting on the curb, head in her hands. Neela walks out and immediately folds her arms, shivering, and tells Deej that she should come back in because it’s cold. Well, duh, Neela. Of course it’s cold. Did you not see the snow on the ground? Idiot. Deej tells her that she hates Trixie. Neela thinks she doesn’t mean that and sits down next to her. Deej tells her that Trixie’s crazy and that’s why McEgo is leaving. Neela tells her that McEgo loves her and she knows that will never change. Unless he finds another stupid bimbo with a kid to mooch off of and send him to law school, that is. Deej wants to know if she can ask Neela a favor. Neela says sure, because Neela’s lack of brain cells has made it possible to already have forgotten the whole “whore” thing and now they’re BFF. Deej tells her to find somebody else. Neela’s not getting it, “Sorry?” Deej tells her that McEgo doesn’t love her, and that he’s just having sex with her. Neela says “Sarah …” to stop her but Deej goes on “That’s what he does … but he always comes back to us”. Deej gets up and goes back inside, leaving Neela there lost in thought, wondering if pornstaches are rabid or just vapid.

Camera starts panning up a patient’s bed. The sheet is tented over a left foot, but flat where the right foot should be. In fact, flat all the way up to where it bulges at the knee. Oh, that’s sad. Camera keeps moving to show us Barks, looking vacantly off into the distance. Weaver comes in and walks towards Barks’ bed. Barks turns her head, and just stares at Weaver. A somber Weaver tells her that when they opened her up they saw that the infection had spread and they had to do the amputation. In a broken voice, Barks tells her that she should have never trusted her. A remorseful Weaver tries to tell her that with a new prosthetic leg she’ll have complete mobility. Barks looks away from her and starts crying. Despondent she says “Every time I make a choice, it’s wrong”. Weaver tells her definitively that this was the right thing to do. Barks tells her that she and her husband were on that bridge for twenty-seven hours before a helicopter came and took them to the Superdome. Still not looking at Weaver, she continues sadly that when the buses came, there was only one seat and that she didn’t want to go but her husband insisted. Lip quivering, she says that she took that seat and left him there. A week later she found out that he had died in that stadium. Oh, Barks. How horrible. Weaver compassionately tells her that it’s not her fault. Barks says she knows, “It’s God’s”. Uh oh. I don’t know that I’d be blaming the Big Guy if I were you Barks. She wants to know why he did this, “… take it all away”. As Barks weeps, Weaver tries to tell her that God didn’t take it all, she’s still alive and she’s getting another chance. Barks wants to know for what? And what is she’s going to do now? Weaver tells her “You’re going to accept this, and you’re going to go on”. Weaver tells her to go home and paint, and find away to use her gift so that people never forget what happened. Barks whispers “They can’t forget” and Weaver assures her “You won’t let them”. Damn, I’m going to miss Laura Innes. Very well done scene.

Pratt and Busy are at the board discussing a patient when Angela from Staff Services, who reminds me of Iman, comes up looking for Pratt. She asks if he worked on Edgar Dixon today. Pratt says he did and wants to know what’s up. Iman tells him that Edgar was getting renuvium illegally. Pratt says he heard and Iman tells him that First Mission Baptist is apparently dispensing meds without a pharmacy license. She tells Pratt that she needs his medical records. Pratt looks surprised and says that the family’s not going to sue. Iman says that the records are for the State Medical Board. Pratt and Busy share another “Oh shit” look as Iman tells him that there is going to be an investigation. Luka walks up and asks Iman how it’s going. And that’s actually the first time we’ve seen Luka smile this ep. Thank God … I so needed a good “Yum” about now … Iman says okay and that she’s just following up a record, but Luka meant how things are going with her and asks how her daughter Danielle is. Iman says she’s better and thanks him, “For everything”. Uh oh. For your sake, Iman, you best just be thanking him for treating your daughter in Tell Me No Secrets. It’s hasn’t even been a day yet, Luka, you can’t be that worried about your hair to already be getting treatments from another stylist already … at least from one who’s not me … Just saying … And I guess you weren’t satisfied with just being in a pissing contest with Abby – you want to see her get in a cat fight, too. No offense, Iman, I’m sure you’re tough and all, but you really don’t want to find out what happens if you try to steal moisturizing treatments from Abby’s Shampoo Boy … Bitch … Iman walks away and Luka picks up a chart. Pratt, who’s been standing there fretting, makes a decision and asks Luka if he can talk to him for a minute. Not looking up from his paperwork, Luka says “yeah”. Pratt adds “in private” which makes Luka look up at him and realize that it’s something serious.

An old tan pickup truck with furniture in the back pulls up in front of some steps. Sam, Gaudy and Splinter all get out of the cab as Sunshine gets out the other side. Gaudy thinks the building is nice and ask Sam, “Do you remember when we lived in that trailer?” Splinter asks “You guys lived in a trailer”. Well, duh, Splinter. Don’t come to life just to ask stupid rhetorical questions. Dumbass. Sam says it was a mobile home, but Gaudy tells him “that’s ‘uppity’ for ‘trailer’ “. Hee. Sam gives Splinter the keys and tells him to go unlock the door. Sunshine starts unloading stuff onto the sidewalk. Gaudy asks him where he’s from and he says he’s from a little town called Richmond Hill in Georgia. Gaudy says that she had a boyfriend once in Chatham who dumped her and she swears it was for his sister. Hee. Sam cuts her off before she can be any more embarrassing and says that Gaudy has plenty of stories about her antics with men. Gaudy’s all worried and goes over to Sunshine saying, “I’m not scaring you am I?” and tells him that he is one of the “sanest” guys that Sam has ever been with. I’d have to agree with you there, Gaudy, because Luka most definitely was suffering from temporary insanity to have been with her for almost two seasons. Sunshine smiles and Sam tries to tell her that they’re just friends. As Gaudy heads inside, she tells them that was what Angelina and Brad said. Does this mean that Sam and Sunshine … and Splinter, unless they can extract him … will be moving to Namibia? Oh, please, please, please. For that I would so say Let the Samshine … Sam just smiles as she carries a small laundry basket up the steps, leaving Sunshine to handle all the other crap. Nice, Sam. Splinter comes back out and Sam hands him the basket, telling him to go upstairs, do his homework, steal someone else’s identity … or personality at least … order her a new stereo system, book a trip to see his real family in Sequoia National Forest, trim his branches, brush his teeth, then go to bed. She tells him that tomorrow they’re going to talk about “the new rules”. Sam turns and heads back down the steps, bumping into Sunshine who was going up them. She’s still standing a step above him, so that they are eye to eye. There’s an uncomfortable pause where neither knows what to do before he smiles and reminds her that she owes him dinner. Sam slaps her forehead, because she totally forgot to stop at the 7-11 for the microwave burritos. She suggests that they finish unloading and she’ll order them pizza. He interrupts and tells her that he has a better idea, then leans in to kiss her as the Sentimental Sappy Strings of Subsequent Samshine Smooching sounds. They both pull back, smiling at each other, and he says that he’s glad they got past the awkward part. She nods and chuckles a little embarrassedly as he heads back up the steps. She stands there a moment, looking both pleased and contemplative, wondering what happens now.

In an Exam Room and speaking in low tones, Luka is admonishing Pratt that he needs a pharmacy license to dispense meds and his malpractice insurance covers him only in the hospital. And wow, Luka was right to already be concerned about his hair – all of a sudden it’s looking kind of greasy and flat to his head. Yikes. That was quick. Never thought I’d be saying this, but at this rate, I hope Abby takes pity on you soon and reopens the Salon … Bitch … otherwise, who knows how frightfully foul your follicles could become. A downcast Pratt says that he was trying to give back. Luka says “It’s a felony, Pratt. A man died”. Pratt sadly asks himself “What the hell was I thinking?” Luka doesn’t know and tells him that this goes against everything he’s learned. Seeing a dejected Pratt, Luka seems to realize the depth of his remorse. For more privacy, Luka pulls a curtain around where they standing. Looking at him concernedly, Luka asks him “You okay, man?” In a broken voice and sounding like a little kid who needs his dad to make it all better for him, Pratt tells him “I don’t know what to do”. Luka asks if Pratt was the only one involved. Not looking at Luka and keeping true to his word to keep Busy out of it, Pratt says he was. Luka thinks that’s good. Luka says that he’ll talk to Iman and see what he can do. Giving Pratt a sympathetic look, Luka tells him kindly “Take a minute, okay?” before heading out and leaving Pratt to deal with the enormity of what he’s done.

Looking oddly pleased considering what’s happened today, Weaver walks down the hallway towards Admit, throwing on her coat. As she passes the desk, she throws out a “Alright … see you guys later”. McEgo jumps up and comes over to her, asking her to sign an order. Then Ray gives her something else to sign off on. She then grabs a slip of paper and starts to head out when Luka, hair still a little greasy, comes up and tells her that they need to talk. She gives him a quick glance, kind of smiling and telling him “Oh … it’s okay … I’m fine” and turning to leave again. He follows her “Hey …” then confesses that he made a mistake “… what I said before …”. She keeps moving to get her bag from under the desk as he tries to explain, “You know how it is in this job … I … I … shouldn’t give in to the pressure”. Good for you, Luka. I like that you can admit that maybe you were wrong in this situation, that maybe there was another way to handle it. She just smiles at him as she goes and he walks backwards, staying with her as she moves around the desk. He tells her that he’s going to find the budget cuts somewhere else and insists “There’s no way we’re losing you”. Weaver thanks him, but tells him that she’s resigned. Taken aback, Luka asks “You what?” Pratt, Abby, Morris and Ray, who were standing behind them at the desk, turn around and stare at them. Getting a little emotional, Weaver says that she’s trained Residents, saved lives, even ran this place, adding “I loved it” as everyone watches, dumbfounded. Weaver thinks that she’s probably gotten more than she’s given, but “Now it’s time to go”. Pratt asks her what she’s saying. Abby looks at her questioningly and says “Kerry …?” Smiling, Weaver looks over at her and says “It’s easy here … it’s comfortable …” She moves towards Abby and says, “But that doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to stay” as she hugs her. Morris asks if she’s going to go to Florida. Moving away from Abby, Weaver says “yeah", then looks around as she explains that after Sandy died, she thought she got over, she thought she moved on, but that she “felt stuck … like I’m treading water …”. She continues, “It’s taken a few years, but finally, I’m ready to move forward”. As the Poignant Piano of Previously Prickly Physician’s Positive Plans plays, Weaver smiles at everyone as she tells them that if they are ever in Miami, turn on Channel 6 and that’s where they’ll find her. And if she’s not there, she’ll be on the beach with her son. She nods one last time at Abby as she heads towards the doors. Luka calls after her to wait and catches up with her. He starts to tell her “Kerry … please” as a teary-eyed but smiling Weaver turns to look at him and says quietly and sincerely, “Luka, we’re alright … We’re fine”. She gives him one last grin, then leaves, the entire staff, and me, sadly watching her go.

Weaver walks out into the Ambulance Bay, and stops, musing. Then she grins, at peace with her decision as we fade to black.

Bravo, Laura Innes … Bravo …


At 6:50 AM, March 01, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 10:44 AM, March 01, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

that was soooooooo good !!
you're amazing !!

At 4:56 AM, March 02, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Cranky. Great to see you back. you rock!!!

At 7:08 AM, March 02, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wooo...glad I checked in with you. Printed the recap....EIGHTEEN pages in the smallest print possible!! order to have something GOOD to read on our way to Cleveland for the U-11 girls indoor national soccer championships. No doubt the, uh hubby...will be wondering what I am snickering about. Hee. You are the BEST. Glad you are back.


At 8:04 PM, March 03, 2007, Anonymous rv said...

Glad you are back Cranky and Thank you!

At 1:37 PM, March 04, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeeeah what an unexpected suprise! i know what i'll be doing with my sun eve!

At 6:22 PM, March 04, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cranky! Lovely surprise to see you are back!! Another hilarious recap, amazing... and the award for the best bit, imo, goes to:
"...For the love of God, get a freakin’ spine, woman! Actually, get some Raid, some penicillin, call Animal Control, then get a spine"... I still can't stop laughing! You're genius!

At 8:45 PM, March 05, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, Cranky - Do you quote News Radio in every recap? Thanks for putting my favorite Bill McNeal saying in here: "Sadly, I guess the fact is, the woman wanted him. And the fact that she couldn’t have him made her quite simply, insane … with what the great poets have called, Manimal Lust … "


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